Her breath forms beautiful icicles on the blood-stained window, her pale body lays in horrifying grace

Sunk in cheeks
Charcoal eyes
Her soul empty
gone.
Nothings left.

She feels only a slight tug as his fist curves into her fragile skull once again, smashing her petite figure into the window.

shatter
the beautiful icicle is exploded into a millon pieces and so the glass.

As her tired face hits the window sil
You can almost feel the break of her jaw as it crushes beneath the weight of his tremendous blow.

Her eyes are still open

But she is now completely gone

The last of her life shattered away with the icicle formed by her last breath.

v.v

Funny how fast I can become attracted to someone
A month is all it takes
To smile when you message
To laugh at your jokes
To be guienuely happy around and with you

I think Im starting to like you~

To feel
All and intensely
To care
Fully and endlessly

Is it weak?
Or is a strength?

Confusion fogging my mind,
I struggle to accept my empathy
For people
For situations
Not relevant to my own
But relevant enough
To consume me
In second hand grief

I’m drowning
Yet emerging

Can I handle these emotions
And still support those in need?

It’s a question I constantly ponder.
With another outbreak,
It’s a question I need to answer.

You.
Yes, you.
You are ******* perfect
From your smile to your frown
People adore you, I adore you.
Just remember that ♥

I used to be so bubbly
I used to be so happy
So carefree
So free of misery

Now
Laughing is a struggle
Smiling is a mask
All I seem to do is choke up and fail

I used to be so smart
Such a bright girl
Such a clever girl

Now
I can barely think
Stress and disappointment seem to be the only things Im smart enough to know are a problem

I used to feel pretty
I used to feel loved

Now
I see eyes glance over me as though Im nothing
I see stares and glares
And if I am so loved then why I am so alone?

I used to be enthusiastic
I used to be the first to volunteer

Now
Im too scared to even get out of my chair
Anxiety eats me alive if I even draw the smallest attention to myself

I know that you don't care
But maybe you can relate
To old me
That I could appreciate

That would be great yo ∞

Why am I here?
To get a job?
To have kids?
To get money?

What comes after that?
When my children leave home
When I retire
When money no longer matters

Do I just rot?
Did my life have any meaning?

I don't want to be like this.
And to be completely honest
Im scared

Scared of the future.

A  beautiful  suicide  kit.

If I've learnt anything from this year
Its that you need to plan ahead
Set yourself goals and stick to them

It may be hard
It may be boring
But in the end itll be rewarding

Confused
I really like you
I enjoy being with you
But I'm not as excited to see you as I was with the rest

I don't know why
I want to be excited
I want to be all giggly and girly about you

But for some reason I just cant.

Seeping through the walls,
Slamming open doors,
Her past haunts her.

Her mouth is taped shut,
With a growling gut,
Shadows taunt her.

She knows that she's here,
With nothing to fear,
Her heart ignores her.

Her lungs force air,
Trying not to stare,
She's in control now.

Scuttering away,
The shadows decay,
Back into memory.

I don't see why we can't replace bombs with confetti.

Green eyes
Blue eyes
Brown eyes
Hazel eyes
Yellow eyes
Turquoise eyes
Deep eyes
Dark eyes
Detailed eyes
Simple eyes
Light eyes

I dont know about you but they are all incredibly beautiful to me

Instead of focusing on someones appreance, just focus on their eyes because you'll be sure to fall in love with them forever

With you, I'm meant to feel safe

But when I see you
I see him

In the distance
A light began to shine
Sitting on the porch
We waited curiously

A soft tap was heard
The tapping grew louder
As we exchanged glances
A lady’s voice called out to us

“Stop it” She yelled.

In the distance
The light grew brighter and hungrier
As quick as an engine roared to start
The roar just as quickly, came to a halt

Frustrated murmurs
Fists against glass
He wanted his keys
Leave her alone, please

I imagined the stench of his whiskey stained breath
As possible scenarios invaded my head
Was she safe? Was he drunk?

I asked these questions out loud
But I don’t remember any answers
Searching for them myself
I stumbled closer to the sound

Now she was screaming.
Don’t hurt me
Please don’t hurt me
There’s a baby

I had to help her.

Running back towards the group
No memory of talking to them
I’m sure that I did
I only remember

Gritting my teeth
Closing my eyes
Covering my ears
Trying to block out the sound

Her screams and cries for help
Slowly morphed and twisted
Into my brothers voice
His six year old voice

The tapping on the window
Became the rattling of a bunk bed
The woman’s screams and yelling
Became my baby brothers cries for help

I’ve gone backwards.
10 years.

It’s been three days since
I heard her yell
And three days since
his screams began

It’s been three hours since
I took the pill bottle
And three hours since
I put it down again

All you do is put me down
Shut me down
And laugh

You're a ******* princess
Thinking you're cool
Just because you hang with a group of people that seem to think they're better than everyone else

You always have your nails done
Your eyebrows done
Your hair done
Everything has to be perfect

Im not a girly girl
Im not rich
Im just a white chick
Who couldve give two *****

I used to think you were my friend
That you were nice
But the only reason I ever thought that
Is because you were using me
Since you had noone else

We were best friends
Great friends
But now I wonder why
I dont want anything to do with you anymore
All you do is make me feel like Im below you
That Im not good enough
That Im not cool enough

You know what?
Go **** yourself.

I don't want to lose you
But I'm scared
That you will never talk to me again
That I'll never hug you again

And I'm terrifyed
Completely terrifyed
That you aren't scared
That you wouldn't mind if we never crossed paths again
That you could happily live on knowing I died

All I've ever wanted to be is a hero
I want to be a good person
A kind person

But to you Im a monster
Im the villian and far from being a good person

Why can't I remember?
I'm blocking it, why can't I just-

Who hur-

Where did it-

Why would they-



Sorry, what were we talking about?

It may sound cheesy but its the truth
Things will get better in time I promise you

There will always be a rainbow after a storm, you just have to look hard enough

There will always be people willing to help, including myself

You are all so unique
You are all gorgeous

Just promise me this

That you wont end your life
Because of a bad day

Take one for this
Take one for that
Your mind isnt in bliss
Yet as flat as a mat

You cant think clearly
Everythings in a blurr
I almost fainted nearly
I thought pills were meant to work?

Rush in
Rush out

My head is felt feeling dazed and confused
As though drugs are my only muse

Cant think
Cant write
Cant listen
Cant fight

Feeling like a vegetable
But people dont understand
Because to them
They just think its all in my mind.

Today, I stood underneath the bridge.
I looked up at how high I was going to fall in.
My eyes still hurt now from the tears I cried.
“No one cares about you” a voice whispered.
A loud ‘DING’ frightened me, it was followed by an annoying vibration.
They were calling me. They were worried about me.
I didn’t want to be under the bridge today.
The whisper led me here.
They tell me that once I’m gone, everything will be easier for everyone.

Then I think about my brother with no home.
My boyfriend left alone.
My siblings with no middle sister.
My class with no teacher.
My flatmates with no rent.

It would only be easier for me.
So I carry on, hoping that one day I’ll feel less empty.