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Anastasia Sep 18
do these tired eyes lie to you
with their dulled shine
and plain blueish eyes
don't you understand
im just
tired
of course you're a good person
you didn't make me feel bad
i swear
im just tired
right
i mean
thats probably it
you didnt do anything
im just...
tired
troublingly, when they’re talking,
it’s usually not in my direction
and I rather like that a lot
but when it is directed at me
it’s usually nothing profound.

unaccountably, I have a lack
of response towards soulless
creatures who have zombified
their vitality

they’ve exhausted their inventiveness
opted out to conformity
over-welcomed their stay
and burnt out their last match

the apex of their days is the
sandwich they’ll have for lunch,
the power mower they ride on
in the Saturday afternoon heat,
the motor oil they use for their car,
the purchases they’ve made online
with free shipping and handling

and it’s no wonder I’ve undergone
a number of ways to elude their
temperament

making no eye contact
keeping my head down
walking really fast and
pretending to be busy

but the more you avoid them,
the more attracted they are to you

their castrated lives their wives envisioned
are so flavorless like taking a bite out of
an aspirin and they think their persistence
is stunning when it’s nothing more than
relentless and wearisome

I look out the window
feeling trapped
the day is out there
life is out there
not much life
but enough to
take a chance

and very few have the courage
to let go and break free

the little white spider crawling
up my windshield has more
courage, character, charisma
than I or the half-bred egrets
I encounter with on the daily

who knew these assortment
of words arranged in a
peculiar way would give
me the courage to go this far?

but how much further
am I willing to go?

when the world feels like a rope
you’re dangling from above
the swampland of futility
and the imbeciles circle
below like crocodiles
ready to lunge up
and snap at your
insides

I hear their idiot laughter
and their footsteps
working towards
me now

as the door closes slowly
and the light narrows
paper thin-like into
the windowless dark.

I cringe and
wait for it
to end.
As a little girl she always knew
That she lacked something special
Her own mother reminded her constantly
And the lass is now a grown woman

Adult experiences confirmed what was true
That she was just ordinary and dull
A woman with no it factor
Invisible to all before and around her

She's heard and hears stories of other women
Who use their wiles on hungry men
'If only I had that gift I'd feed a hundred of them'
Instead she's bypassed like she's not even there

Old age is catching up to her now
She may as well be thin air
The only ones who see her are other women
But never the men she dreams of

Ordinary is boring and typical
Nothing exciting about this creature
She might as well be dead and buried
Along with any hopes of truly being seen
Empire Aug 12
I want to write it all out
Release the floodgates
But instead
I let my emotions be dull
Blunted
There’s too much withheld
Take it slow, dear
But I want to feel it all
Something
Or go all numb
I don’t know...
I just... I can feel their echo
Thoughts, emotions
I know what I’m trying to feel
What I ought to feel
But I can’t...
Can’t quite reach it...
Like it’s shrouded
Under a thick fog
I just want to feel like I’m supposed to...
Caring can be challenging...
I’d kind of like to give up
Give in
Surrender to apathy
Can’t seem to decide...
I find myself angry with life.
A low, simmering rage
only too close to a boil.
Once, my mind was
the sharpest of blades,
nothing could stand before me.
Now, it is but a vestigial sort of thing,
a relic of times better remembered.
I am rusted by the monotone
my life has become.
The repetition of every day
comes on as a flood;
I will succumb.
Anastasia Jul 21
I used to be happy
Laughing next to you
I was smiling
Just thinking about you
But now
I can't breath
My eyes
are dull
Maybe
You've changed
Or it's just me
But I can tell
that there's something
You don't care anymore
Have I done something wrong?
You were gone
And you didn't come back the same
I just... don't understand. What did I do?
Ikigai Poet Jul 7
As the moon rises
My memory becomes clearer
Standing right here at the dusk
My heart becomes my feelings' mirror.

As the time passes  
The youth in me begins to rebel  
As I approach the midnight  
My pulse rise as well.  

Midnight memories and the moon,
As my eyes shed tears
I sail across the sea of memory  
Walk across the dunes of sorrow
Endure the pain to which there's no recovery.

As I look into the infinite skies
I ask myself and the world within me
"Why do I exist in such a dreadful place?"  
As I look down towards the earth  
An answer bubbles up within me
"Because you have a purpose."  

As the moonlight touch my scars  
They begin to have a melody of melancholy  
A pain felt, a memory recalled and my heart cried...  
As the moon reaches it's peak,  
I realize and feel the very skin I'm wrapped with and the energy it holds.

As the night begins to descend  
I see a shadow of someone lost long ago
Yet strives to find a way back to the soul.

As the sun begins to rise
So does the hope within me
But the world will remain the same  
And so will my memories.
Experiences are something valuable
But nothing teaches me a lesson like  
Midnight memories and the moon.  

-Ikigai Poet
Cox Jul 7
The flowers don't bloom,
And the bees fall into sudden doom.
The seasons pass by,
With the sun and the water and the people.
Nobody sees.
Nobody buys flowers.
Nobody has nice gardens.
The bees start to fly away,
Some die.
The ladies never receive flowers,
They cry.
The cities are empty and dull,
The people smile sadly.
Whatever turns to whenever after paint is applied to the heart. Can eyes really mentor coulors that seek a place suitable for art.

I want to change a plain season by repeating history so my tales can be "twice upon a time", I have an invisible mountain to climb...perfect moments leave trails of emotions in sync, I followed my heart when it was taller and bigger than me.
l could only follow without any sight of what is afar because my heart was too soft  to run into obstacle.

I could only follow without any sight of what is afar because my heart was too soft  to run into obstacle. At some very sharp and sad point my heart hardened and that's were I saw "forever" and "one last time" holding hands.

I want to win a plain season because nothing fades.
Dominique Jun 22
Sunlight turns sewage gold
And we met on a crystalline day-
When you wrapped around my wrist
It wasn't you that had the glitz,
It was the sky,
And you left stains on my arms,
And the clouds passed us by.

But I thought I was wearing ice,
Delectating in your lies
Because I tasted the clear air
And gave its credit to you.

Now, every sunset reminds me
That glitter goes dull sometimes, too.
Don't associate one happy moment with a lifetime of misery x
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