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Toni Jun 17
I know I should be sad at the thought of what we had being washed away,
But a clean slate doesn’t sound too bad
And I brought my umbrella anyway.

What do you say?
This year has been very transitional, and mindfulness has been a constant theme.
Brad post Jun 4
Today I woke up,
and I realized,
that I hadn’t been sleeping,
and was grief paralyzed.

All that had happened,
all the ****** up nightmares,
all the loathing and anguish,
were all laid out and bare.

It took me a second,
to finally find my breath,
and when I did, I screamed,
and simply wished for death.

Take it away,
the agony that I feel,
I cannot bear this,
there’s no way to heal.

There was no answer,
as I lay on the ground.
No yes or no,
absolutely no sound.

I finally thought,
enough is enough.
I’ll fix it myself,
all the things I ****** up.

But before I do,
I’ll fix myself,
because you can’t fix what’s broken,
with something broken itself.

Today I start with me,
and I took a footstep.
One followed another,
even though I still wept.

I never looked back,
so I didn’t see,
what I left behind,
on the ground, was me.
So,
Tryin to be independent of the venom inside my head,
This isn't dead though,
My eyes are red so,
I'm reaching the pinnacle,
Reading into the syllables,
Inside my head,
That want me dead,
But I'm not ready yet,
So I'll just say no to the infected perception of the world around me,
So,

Just relax,
Here I am.
Just look in the mirror,
Smile,
And jump in.

The water is cold and unforgiving,
The product of being so lost and feeling so
Dark, alone, but I'm never quitting, so,

Hold on and don't let go,
It's gonna be hard,
But don't let your feeling show,
How scared you are,
To feel the scars,
and free the arts,
of the real,
person you are.

Just show them,
You'll never give up,
Just feel the love,
and let it grow,
So,

Be who you are,
and don't forget,
when things are hard,
Just stare at the stars.

~Robert van Lingen
The rhythm is inspired by NF, and his music. Listen to "The Search" by NF then read this with that kind of rhythm, and that's how I envisioned it.
CautiousRain Apr 28
Please do not ask me
about why I cannot give,
or in what ways I feel unable
to start over.

I've told you before,
I've told you so many countless times,
that I cannot feel anymore,
and when I do,
it rests in a porous place in my head,
not my soul,
and I refuse
to pretend I could love another
fully,
so please,
do not ask me again.

I've told you before,
I cannot bring my heart to a pulse,
much less trust
anyone, not even myself,
with that responsibility.

I know better than to pretend
I am capable of romance,
and no sorts of pressures
will allow me to breathe easy at night;
I already have so much trouble
letting things go.
If you ask me to love someone else, I feel nothing, just slightly heavier but oh so very hollow. My head feels like it's wearing a helmet and I've lost my glasses somewhere. I'm in no position to start a relationship, and I can't fathom why people think I should. That's unfair to anyone you engage with.
The way my body fits into your hands is almost alarming. My instincts warn me to evade the situation, for nothing should fit as well as your fingers curving around my face. I stare toward the floor,  fighting the urge to look into your eyes. Your eyes are just as suiting as you hands. They match my eyes, in size and color. In depth and shine. We fit. My broken heart begs me to fight this. It pounds so loudly to remind me that that it is broken in two. The pieces clink together. Stop they sing. Then your whisper connects in my ear, making me thrive and twist. You whisper collects all my thoughts of doubt and remorse and cradles them, rocks them to sleep. You lips push against mine in a way that excites my very core and the flame it lifts in me is so hot and so bright, so very red...suddenly I'm not afraid of fire or pain. Rather, I want to touch it with my finger tips. Just to burn them. I want to burn them just to have you kiss them and have yet another piece of my body rest against your lips. Your hands fit my body so well. They can find me in the darkness. You burn me so  beautifully that I want to be burned alive.
-Jonni Rae
natalie Jan 24
it's the year of the horse...
more wealth, better health, less remorse.

i'm counting down the days til i die,
but leaving myself to wonder why.

is keeping you close what i need?
or are you hindering my paths to succeed?
Just a short New Year's Wish
Raise a glass and toast the year
Think back now and debate
Another week and it's dusted and done
Goodbye to old two oh one eight

Regardless how it started
And what happened through the year
Celebrate that you're here at the end
And raise a nice cold glass of beer

The Mayans missed about the end of life
And now we've another year to go
A new adventure that will be twelve months long
What it brings, I'm sure that no one knows

So, raise a glass to the end of another long year
And get set to step out once again
I wish you could all have the best year of all
and then multiply all that by ten

Two Oh One Nine could be a year of wonderment
A year that all your dreams come true
It's not predetermined or up in the stars
What you get is all now up to you

So, raise a glass and celebrate that you're still here
And start the New Year off with a smile
A toast to the past and one to what's to come
And let's make it the best year by a mile
underestimated Dec 2018
New love
New hopes
New dreams
New hobbies
New habits
New year
I cannot go back and relive my life,
But I can move forward and try to be a better person
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again. - Maya Angelou
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