In and out
Breathe
Stay strong
I'm trying
Stop cutting
Be a good girl
Smile
I can't
Hopeless
Waste of space
Disgrace
*I know

I woke up one day
The end of my bed,
A jewelry box
Pink as the ribbon they used to represent her;
I traced over her disappearing fingertips
The rim of the box clicked open,
It clicked to life
The music tickling my ears;
A plastic ballerina stands as a guardian
Hands in the air
Waiting for someone to join her,
Twirling around like my eyes that follow her,
To see we are all alone

Hid my tears with makeup
      Curled my hair despite the burns
   Pierced through my desperation for
                            earrings
       Some may call me an attention
                              *****
        Or a girl who finally embraced   
                     her feminine side
                      But I don't care
      Your opinion is the only one that
                            matters
But you had the audacity not to notice
               *Your Porcelain Doll

My eyes fight to shield me from the dark
With my last waking nerve I think of wrong and right
How much I want to be a good person
Why the devil is so fond of using me as a pawn when clearly I am a queen
Or at least I'm trying to be
I can go anywhere I want but not like a knight
For I am not chivalrous enough
The tides of disease will rush in to take you
But I will not move a muscle for I am grounded from moving in the way of an L...
As in Love

In the vast corners of the room was a telephone that read broken. Poets are really deep because they can turn nothing into something. To me, the telephone meant that us as our generation have broken communication. We get rid of our problems over text like ending a relationship or quitting a job.

I’ve been staring at this puzzle piece
Its missing a piece
Or two or three,
Its a hand-me-down.
Why did my mother think it could satisfy me?
Passed from child to child,
Charity to Charity
It’s broken and bent
Its missing
Dad you’re missing

Anger is sweet lemonade on a hot day
The only time my heart sways

My brain still sends a letter to my heart that its still pumping
Even if it is black and blue

Reminds me of a time when I was true
Free from a pain that was due

In the **** away from depression  I'm now dressed in,
I miss the old days

Anger, Sorrow, Happiness, Jealousy
Gears of my personality
Rotating in the commotion
Shifts in  the air making it hard to breathe

Leaving should be easy but
Makes me queasy

Felt the warmth radiate off you,
Hands touching the skin on my cheek,
Your voice vibrating through my body

"YOUR MY *****!"

The thought of him makes me itch

the opportunities come knocking
i don't answer
opportunities ring my phone
it sends to my answer machine
opportunity emails me
**I NEVER READ IT

I am alone
You let me or should I say us go
Lack of communication
Our problem
But you can never say I didn't love
You
Made me worry
That I wasn't good enough

"Say  you'll  remember  me
Standing  in  a ­ nice  dress,  staring  at  the  sunset  babe
Red­  lips  and  rosy  cheeks
Say  you'll  see  me  ­again  even  if  it's  just  in  your  wildest  dreams"

I am alone
Tho our memories feel like forever
I will continue smiling
At least I know to let go
I'm not holding on to something broken
Now..
When we pass each other in the hallway..
I wish you the best

Everything ****** a hole in the memories of who you were

A mother, teacher, best friend, patient

My eyes start to betray me as it allows the grief to flow freely through the mountains of denial

The denial that you weren't here just a second ago and gone the next

Its just salt water isn't it?

Even though our matching tattoos were permanent, his feelings for me were temporary.

♥♥♥              

                                **God
                          gave us the
                ability to comprehend
             So why do we continue to
              pretend like we are blind
                 To what's happening
                          Between us

Stop* staring at the sun so
******* long
Notice the shadows forming
around you
Embrace it and know that you were
born from sin and death
Hercules *will not save you in your
final moments
So...
Take the chance and tell your crush
you like them
Take the stand against people that
use intimidation as a weapon
Take the responsibility to love
every bit of yourself even when your bones are shattering
*In the end, you will die proud

There was a girl.
And this girl wore her heart on her sleeve
Everyone saw this and everyone cared.

There was a guy.
And this guy wore his scars on his skin
Everyone saw this but no one cared.

Why would they?
She was beautiful, had a voice that made waking up worth while
He was beautiful too but you couldn't see that through his denials

The girl finally noticed the guy.
He was the only one who never said hi

She asked why he never cared
He answered "I'm sorry your majesty"

This went back and forth for a couple weeks
Until one day he didn't come to school

There was a guy.
And this guy hung a crown around his neck
No one saw this but everyone cared

The girl finally noticed the guy.
He was the only one who never said bye

How can you medicate me
                     if you barely know me?

I know you'll forget me
One way or another
50/50 chance
I'll leave or you
But until then
I will savor up your love
Drown in your kisses
Dance through the arguments
And I won't blame you for the day our love comes to an end

I want to talk about us being married one day, but I do not dare dream about that possibility of us being together forever because you are not of the same faith. And we should have never shared those kisses between the hour hands

The Summer heat burns me,
Scorching this raging river inside me
My love needs to flow
Eventually leading back to its source,
You

I am passion, fire and willpower personified. The tongue inside my mouth try to swallow words that don’t agree with my brain. It fails.

They are calmness, earth, and control personified. Able to trust their brain and heart, they know when to take shelter. When the fire gets too hot.

They thought they had me figured out. That they were my opposite and the perfect element to balance me out without smothering me like water or adding fuel like air.

I always found a way to escape

Someone told me that no one actually loves each other in high school. Then
                        What
                                  Is
                                     This
                                            Between us?

I could fall asleep on his shoulder but I wouldn't want to miss hearing him whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I could hold onto his hands forever but I fear our sweat will turn into oceans and drown him. I could hug him forever but I wouldn't want to break the very ribs that protect his heart from getting hurt.
I haven't kissed him yet for fear that I won't stop until our lips hurt
So many things to fear in this world but I only fear for *his safety

Its been a lonely bus ride home without you whispering my name
A weekend of whispering your name
A month of us teasing each other
Every day I'm thinking about you
And I finally discovered that I'm falling in love with you
I hope that I'm wrong
I hope that I'm not falling but flying
I hope that you're not my first kiss
Because to you trouble is bliss
I hope....

*That you're falling in love with me too

Drowned out emotions

World War III perceived in his eyes

Not the first or last time

He wanted to tear his eyes out

The last sign of his vulnerability

But when you catch him smiling

Oh that smile—

For a beautiful second,

My own demons stop shooting bullets

To stop and stare

You don't want a relationship with me
so what are we doing here
staring
waiting for the other to lose
I REFUSE
to be your friend with benefits
OH GOD,
I want a relationship

Love is a joke,
                                            
                    Life told

But no one was laughing

Yes, this is another poem about that special guy
No, I'm not the one he likes
Maybe, I'm crazy
But when his voice beats against my ear drums I forget about all that

The fact that he has a scar on the right side of his cheek that could hold a painful memory but every time I ask about it, its the same story, "I don't remember"

The fact that he lives in a hotel with his father and sister but left his mother in Philadelphia
I want to ask why but I know my boundaries

Then those stories about all his injuries on his body and I'm all ears
Until I wonder why he doesn't remember how he got that scar on his cheek....
Until I wonder why he shares these stories with me but not with her....

Until I wonder if he doesn't remember that he deserves so much more than a person like *her

I clipped my wings to stay
                                                Grounded

Me, you and a Saturday
A date you
Promised
I said yes
With a sign off of my
Address
Just to remember
I have to sneak through
My fortress
To be by your side

I'm not sure of who I am anymore
I'm not sure of where I'm going
Whether I'm happy or sad
I'm not sure if I'll be alive tomorrow
I'm not sure if we'll be friends forever
Whether god will help me or not
But I am sure of something

I am like the wind,
                     Always changing,
                                         Never staying,
So take shelter,
                     I'll blow your house down just like you did me
                          When you left

I'm scratching at the surface, Trying to break free
I'm buried underneath,
I cannot breath.

Everything is falling apart
But the only thing that keeps me together
Is knowing that your doing okay

Her smile is like the moon
Emanating light to those around her,
Bright white
Tonight is the solar eclipse
A shadow overcomes her
She runs behind a curtain smelling of
Mothballs
It hides away her pain
People are wondering where she has gone
The play is about to begin
Charlie isn’t ready
I follow her downtrodden footsteps
The moon is falling
Her tears are sliding past her freckles,
Her figure fades to a blur
I feel her pain but…
The play must go on

How am I genuinely happy in school around the people I "supposedly" love?

But when I go home to the people that "supposedly" love me, all I want to do is cry...

why?