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mother never cared as such to tell me to eat my greens

her absence of discipline matches her obsession with greed

mother can't you see how my tantrums reflected yours

my screams for affection silenced by gin and locked doors

mother never cared as such to tell me to eat my greens

now I smoke them to forget her face and burn out my genes
for my mother, the unfortunate reality being we are bonded by blood, making it mandatory to say i love you. im unsure how to love a person whom i dont know but in a sick way i love you more when youre hurting me. even though you dont remember when you drunkenly told me i was a pest not a daughter it really never surprised me- i guess youve treated me accordingly
I see you're with someone else
One of my friends
I don't know how to get over you
I've tried
But I keep coming back
There's a much deeper connection
Than just friends
I feel it
No matter how far I run
Or how far you push me away
I'll always come back
Even though you have abandoned me
I will never abandon you
No matter how many times
You have pushed me aside
And said you don't care
You always say you would care
If I died but now
I'm not so sure
I know your girlfriend would
But I'm just an ex
I want to be in your life
But you always push me out
Plus it hurts to see you and her
Ever since that day
That horrid day
I've been lost
You could even say that I'm
Dead
It feels like it
Might as well make it true
You wouldn't care
You could finally be rid of me
So maybe I'll say goodbye
Forever
Kanara 5d
At Night
I dream of My Mother’s Embrace
Oh, that woman
Skin and soul like earth:
So soft it nearly crumbles
At the slightest touch
Crooked smile like
***’s star,
Pervading me with light
Every time the corners of her lips curve upwards towards heaven

At Night
I touch myself to thinning, silvered, hair
Bushy mustaches
Old jokes withering away
Like the crunchy leaves from the frail
Trees of Autumn,
To slow dances
Under the moonlight,
Flashing my toothless smile
As you hold my small, brown hand in yours,
As I grasp onto your large waist,
There, in that pale, faint moonlight  you look down upon me
As if I am the most precious thing on earth
As if your slimy heart lies on my palms
This I dream
Of you cherishing me as if I am yours
Cherishing me Because I am yours
As my eyelids start to open
And dawn sheds himself on my tear-stricken face
Reality sinks in its claws
You’re not here, father
I will never feel  your embrace
The little china doll sits on the shelf,
Crying and broken all by herself;
Cerulean tears roll down her cheeks,
Leaving behind salty wet streaks;
A little girl has forgotten her, abandoned and lonely,
She remembers when she was her only;
The china doll shimmies her way to the ledge,
Teetering dangerously on the edge;
It's one final push and shes on her way,
Busted and shattered on the floor she lays.
Elisabeth Oct 11
Pooh Bear, Pooh Bear call my name.
Holler Christopher Robin to keep me sane
I don’t like this disappearing game
You hid in the roses and were never seen again
Tears stream down my face leaving a stain
Screaming for you left my throat raw from the strain
Hid in the roses never to be seen again
Tears fall down my face leaving a stain.
Screaming for you leaves my throat burning from strain



Pooh Bear Pooh Bear call my name
Please do not refrain


I need you with me on this train
Do you have no shame?
Can you at least explain?
When did this turn into a disappearing game?
Jayce Sep 26
we got tattoos and the ink overpowered your blood
i cut myself open to remind you of it
you grew bored of trying to revive your heart

we pledged our allegiance over shared bottles of *****
the alcohol whispered that I could finally stand on the edge and drop off
you stopped helping me down and started offering to push me

you'd called me your sister since we were eleven
we grew like flowers, but my mind began to wilt
your garden grew despondent,
you pulled your roots from mine and grew away from me

heaven, don't leave me at the gates
i'll shred my throat raw from begging for help to heal an ache that Fear keeps sore as he reminds me
"angels do not befriend the deficient"
Sleepz Sep 20
Tired once again,
Bags under the eyes,
Nightmares promising that if they close it will be the last time.  

The stone presence,
A presence that's there,
Yet no longer existent.
Only in dreams,
The self provoked thoughts,
That never quit their insistence.
Ideas spread like an infection,
Blessed are those who never see the moons crescent.

The stone presence ,
Tempts a weakened voice to rise,
But what if the avalanche buries their lives?

The stone precense,
It urges the peaceful to diminish their mercy,
Who will save them from being swallowed in the chaos?

The young boy begs:
"Tell me you no longer feel,
Speak your despise against the crimes,
Express the soulish pain.
Spit out your angry sight like darts to a kite,
Explain the doubts and truths discovered,
Command to the judgment seat those to be anhilated,
Compose the reason hands shake,
Argue the reason you're gone forever,
Plead the stone presence to cease.

The war has been lost,
But suddenly the enemies are nowhere to be found,
Did they depart to another realm?
Have they joined the spirits who are unseeable?
Detection is now impossible,
To what was once ease to trace.

The young boy cries:
"I wage war! I Wage war!"

There is no longer anyone to listen,
The stone prescense is there,
Undeniably.

I need a battle,
I need a battle,
Except,
The battle has been over.
I have no longer one to raise my fists to,
My problems have evaded,
Where is change to be produced now?

Is there nothing to absorb these emotions?
The stone presence haunts me.
My anger affects no one.
Like a child I cry,
Yet there is none to feed me.
This stone presence will never leave me.
My army has lost its purpose,
There fore there's no soul in sight,
Everything around me has deserted,
Am I the stone presence?
Enjoy your hardships, once you solve them, what will be left for you to do?  Your gaining of meaningless things will only take from your satisfaction.
Carter Ginter Sep 19
The savior
The perfect partner
The dominant
The free spirit
The fiancé
The parental substitute
The anarchist
The sweetheart
The nice guy
All of these aspects of myself
Yet none of them are fully me
These are the roles I've fallen into
In order to match my various partners
And though all of these may be
Different components of me
None of them feels quite whole
I do not feel whole

All of these personalities
Exist on a spectrum of time and space
None interacting with any others
Each signifies a distinct point in life
Each has its own home
It's own experiences
Attitudes and viewpoints
Behaviors and habits

Yet what do I do when
Two of my contextualized selves
Decide to overlap?
When my ex who knew the fiancé
Moves back to town where I live
As does my person
Who's heard stories of the others
But who only knows the nice guy

How do I begin to heal when
I do not understand what is real
And what existed solely for others?
How do I continue to grow
When the fiancé is fighting restraints
And the nice guy is exhausted
The sweetheart does not exist
And the anarchist screams for revolution?

They seem to be fighting each other
Just to have a chance to breathe
A chance to take the wheel
A chance to control "me"
Yet who even am I?
Are all of these selves fabricated
Or are they hyperbolized aspects of me
Connectable like puzzle pieces
Into one beautiful picture?

The problem is
The picture I see is not beautiful
I'm trying to be nice to myself
But all I see and feel is darkness
I am an abomination
An evil person who cannot be trusted
A dark soul inhabiting an empty body
A person who is not a person
A human with a lack of self
It's almost like I'm not even alive
But even death would be a relief
So I can finally end the confusion
And stop hurting people along the way
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