oh, lovely โ
another of my ugly insecurities has come undone โ
unraveling from my heart, tumbling across the space between us,
ungainly in its amble towards your feet.
if iโm sorry, will that be too little? if i perform an even bigger act of affection
(not always only for compensation)
will that be too much?
was it too much the last time?
as you watch me scramble for words, for explanations,
for comprehension of my own actions,
are you sick of me?
does it make your stomach turn to see my flaws? it sure does make mine.
i canโt tell you ๐ช ๐ธ๐ข๐ด๐ฏ'๐ต ๐ข๐ญ๐ธ๐ข๐บ๐ด ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด without lying
that ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ, ๐ช ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ฏโ๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ.
anyway, would you like some tea while we watch this show?
this tragedy of errors on an endless timeline?
anything else to make your experience better?
am i condescending when i ask for concern? is it fun to battle my quiet anger with your quiet neglect?
iโm sorry, maybe i assume too much. actually, iโm sure i do.
itโs so humiliating to find meaning in everything even when i know better.
oh, lovely โ
yet another insecurity.