melancholy 21h

so you're searching for reason in all the wrong places.
so you don't tell anyone what you're looking for,
so you just keep your head tilted down.
keep going.
if you keep lowering your eyes then
maybe you'll lower your head right into your chest and
maybe logic will fill that space when
maybe your heart once resided.
maybe.

4/26/17
uncertainty and self denial
I suppose this is loosely based on how I view myself based off the poem lifedance by Charles Bukowski

You hide behind a curtain of insecurity,
blushing and allowing your eyes to fall
to the floor when they give you kind words
to follow and acknowledge. Deflection
is a skill so fine tuned and honed
that it is innate, a reflex built
into your body. Yet you never stopped
to think that they never had to say
those lovely things
and they chose to anyway because they truly
believed them. Perhaps it's time
for you to believe them too.

~~ "He didn't have to say that to you," is the best thing anyone could have said to me. ~~

The sheep are swimming in the Nile; they must be living in denial!
Denial is our best friend, the constitution we must amend!

Guns are our mortal enemies; their only use is to commit felonies
To stop these tragedies, we must impose harsher penalties!

There is no wolf, we will not die; there’s no need to put your life on the line
Sheepdogs are for the paranoid, those who live in a void

Remove the sheepdog and the enemy goes away, to happiness this is the true way
Ban the wolf with a no trespassing sign, surely we’ll be fine

Respect and common courtesy, the wolf will live in harmony
Close our eyes and he goes away, all we have to do is pray

Our herd used to be bigger; we don’t ask questions as long as our denial can deliver
Until our children are in the fire, then the sheepdog we require

But the sheepdog is out of practice, we fired him for “malpractice.”
Ruined by us, he looks no better than us – but he’s not like us

The sheepdog is weak; his sheep made him an antique
But his mind is strong and he’s eager to kill the evil and wrong

Wolves are predators, feeding on the weak; it’s denial they seek
The sheep will never fight, but pray the sheepdog is able to take up their plight

From my book, "Aimless Wanderer"
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544626347
Dorian 6d

"Honestly I'm fine"
The generic response
I conjure a smile
As I drown in that wine
I'm hanging by a thread
Sanity is drifting
I'm all alone
In the midst of a crowd
They are oblivious
I begin to quiver
Anxiety attacks
Limbs begin to shiver
Insidiously it pulls
Inflicting it's wrath
Retreating to the back
The darkness controls
They laugh and smile
I lose track
I make a vow
In this moment
I WILL seek help
This is hollow
Denial will ensure
More angst will follow!

I don't want to do this without you.
Now that I know
what it was like
having you
by my side,
the thought of facing
stuff alone is so
much more
frightening.
The darks are darker
and the shadows have faces.
I have logical reasons
to be going places
but with you...

it was different with you.

It was you
and
me
taking our world by storm
and we
were gonna be
something
weren't we?

I guess knowing I had someone
to face everything with
made it better.
You were supposed to be
a constant
in a tumultuous and
uncertain world.
An anchor.
I keep thinking if I had
someone
it would make things better
again.

But we both know
that's not true.
No, I remember you
still and I am filled
with longing.
I didn't just
fall for your presence.
I fell in love
with your very essence.

I can't take it back,
I sure as shit can't replace you.
And now the time
has come to move on
to new places
and new faces
and go forward
into the dawning
of young adulthood.

I am so afraid love.
Afraid to date,
because I don't want
to contemplate
replacing you.
Afraid to move,
because it was supposed
to be your name
on the boxes, too.
Afraid to leave
afraid to stay...
the darks seem darker
now that you're away.

I remember you every day.

I know what I need to do...
I just had all my bets
out that I'd never have
to do this
without
you.

Wordsinalign Apr 13

In the crowds of colourful birds that sat in the tallest trees, every one of them prettier than the rest across seven seas. Metaphors and similes of their beauty, made the cracks on the pavement lay at ease.

One of them remained low because you can’t fly with wings made of gold in the garden of wild unruly souls. Like the bird whose wing is broken, you are the one that couldn’t follow the motion. You can’t fly like the others or blend with their feathers.

She sat in the roar of society, keeping to herself invisible to the quietly.
A part of her died accepting that she can’t fly,
that she liked it down here and being different.
But at times she just wondered why,
what is it about her that made her insignificant that she had to lie.
Broken wings cannot fly though I’ve seen more brokenness fill the skies.

With an aroma of anticipation and she waited there for her signal, the other birds strutted their formation and blamed her for her lack of imagination.

“Go ahead feathered soul”, he said. His feather shimmering gold, she lived in denial that this new stranger fell in love with her aura of survival.

Our parents.
They are what we wish not to be
but will become.
Some too soon gave up the ghost
while others gaze now squarely
into the face of death.

They are a full-length mirror
from which we avert our eyes
as though by not seeing we'll control what is
and what will be.

In a bid to smooth the wrinkles
before they even form,
we slather on the ointment of denial
and smugly turn our heads in scorn.

kimberly Apr 1

You're not gonna amount to anything in life.
The dreams you let deceive aren't something you should believe.
Nothing means a thing.
Everything is just in your fixation of an imagination beyond compensation.
"Unrealistic" You should listen, stop the flawless movement of your one track mind.
How could you let yourself be so naive?
You think you're so intelligent?
Why can't you sell it?
It's one thing to let yourself fall victim to your daydreams, but it's another to live in the fantasy.
Let alone be the only person taking part while everyone watches you lose your sanity. (granted you haven't lost it already.)
Do you ever stop to think? (or is that only over the small, careless things)
Back to the original statement, do you really think you'll make it?
If so, forgive me for saying what you need to see. (in all honesty I couldn't be more sorry, such pity, really)
How could you let yourself believe such absurd things?
Don't you think you would've learned as the years go?
(you're delirious, helpless, you won't make it, but hey! fake it, be my guest)

this is aimed at no one but myself
this was a no edit, wrote as soon as you think type thing

When Socialism is discussed,
Many  people oppose it?
"How will we earn a living?" they ask.
However, conventional Democratic and Republican Politicians,
Deny CLASS DIFFERENCES.
Supposedly,
We're all the Same,
And should be "Unified".
"Make America Great!" the supporters of Donald Trump say.
Which America?
What America?
The Society of the Wealthy Elites
Or the Society of the Poor and the Disenfranchised?

Breeze-Mist Mar 24

You've said "it can't happen here" for so long
Yet even you know that's just wrong
For no matter the place
The time, or the race
If unchecked, it can always come along

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