if you have ever had a panic attack,
and crashing mind,
you know what it is to die.
pretty ****, I know.
tell me to go out .
But you lock the doors
tell me to talk.
But you hold a filter over my mouth
tell me to get up.
But hold me down
tell me to choose.
But you only show me what
want me to choose
It’s always ever been what
I feel like a beakless baby bird
Suffocating in it's egg; it's womb,it's tomb.
“Please, I am drowning. I am suffocating. I am fading. This is my plea for help that breezes on your skin ever so silently. There is only darkness. There is nothing. No one. You tell me you’re there, but I can’t see you. You tell me you’re there to listen, but there is no ear. You tell me you are going to stay, but I see you leaving. Is it because it is too much for you?
You’re going through nothing. You’re life is perfect. You’re going to be fine. It doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels heavy. Heavy on the mind and heart. Scarring and wounding. Re-wounding and never healing. It’s not nothing. It is more than something. And maybe it would be fine if you .
I'm as scared of the future as anyone else is
What else is there to say? I've got fears like any other being
There but for the grace of God go I
Again into the unknown
I wish I knew how or what to say
To those that mean well, but won't let me go my way
On my own path into the sun
Sink or swim it's my life to live
Leave it be
Stop it please
Stop with the ether soaked rag you call good intentions
Stop suffocating me
I slipped and fell so fast,
It was embarrassing.
You laughed asking if I was okay,
But no I just fall over things.
My biggest fall was for you.
It didn't hurt at first,
I didn't realise it quick,
Until your smile was my world,
Without it, it was sick.
There was a drop.
So fast and low,
My love for you found no bounds,
I didn't think to let you go.
I fell so fast and deep,
Your eyes suffocating me,
Now I must give what I keep,
Ending love what needed to be free.
Even though I have never really drowned,
I know what it's like to hold your breath for so long,
That when you take that first gasp,
You feel as though it is your first time breathing.
Stay on me for a bit longer
Linger your sight on my lips
Can you feel yourself coming closer
Snake your hands around my waist
I place mine on your cheek, your neck
Ready to pull ourselves closer
Look at me still
Close your eyes
And I close mine
Kiss me slow
There is only
When we breathe, it’s over.
Hold your breath
And time stands still
I wish you would understand.
My time is different than yours.
I'm sorry yours was predetermined to be wasted.
But I want to write this story myself.
I wish to be autonomous.
And I want to breathe.
You're a restrictive corset
Holding me by my baggy clothes
Cursing me so hard I began to believe
That I was a cursed entity, bound to roam the land with the exact same fate as you.
Married off to a stranger who glued three children to my hips without so much as kissing me in the mornings when he'd get home from the night shift.
We look the same
But I'm sorry
We will never be the same.
Not everyone has good family. Be kind to people around mother's day.