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Those bad days come
The days were getting out of bed shouldn’t be an option
Were looking at everyone can’t be a choice
But you have to smile for the camera
Everyone is looking at you
While you see that moment
That moment of being on a bus with a friend
A friend that took your friendliness for flirting
A friend that decided to play fight with you
But play fighting turned into something more
Into something you wished it didn’t
He kissed you
You didn’t want or intend for that to happen
You didn’t know what to do
You’re paralyzed
As you tell him no, he tries play fighting again
You reject that too
But in the end, he bites your arm
And now you are stuck with the feeling of teeth on you
The feeling that you still have the bruise
A bruise that you had to hide from your family members
A bruise that symbolized
“You are broken”
You get stuck wearing anything but a normal shirt
No one questions it...but yourself
You can feel the pain
You can see yourself crying all over again
You can feel the hug that your teacher gave you when they found out
That teacher helped you more than anyone
That teacher took care of you in your time of need
That teacher was your parent because you couldn’t show them your bruise
You can feel the nothingness that came out of that experience
You can hear the whispers
The whispers of blame toward you
The whispers of “they asked for it”
No you didn’t ask for it
All you asked for was a friend
A friend to sit next to
A friend to stay close to, so you wouldn’t get lost
But in the end you got more lost
If anything, you got lost and betrayed
Within minutes before and after that first kiss
But you still feel that bruise, even after it’s gone
You feel where their teeth sunk in on your skin
That part of your skin remembers every nerve being in pain
Your muscles remembering tensing up right when it happened
That friend marked you
For what, because you were friendly
Because you gave them attention they hardly got
Who’s to say,
All you know is that you had a bruise and a bad memory on that bus
A memory that haunts you till this day
A memory you wished would just disappear
Just like the bruise
That friend got in trouble
With a slap on the wrist
And everyone on their side
You are the one at fault
You started the whole thing
But you are the one with the wounds
You were too friendly, everyone said
How could that have mattered
When you are now bruised on the inside
Where their teeth were
thesa Aug 5
i'm paralyzed
my eyes hurt and i can't stop
the voices inside my head

tell me
which sense does the cure have
when i was comfortable
in my insanity
blackbiird Jul 4
the
disease
has
progressed
and left
me
paralyzed,
lovesick
and
stuck
in
your
world
with
no
escape.
Hello Prolly Jun 29
these, why seasons are
so many
why (we) changing
way too often

stepping out in sandals
enter freezing blizzards
wearing scarf and mittens
get burned by melting hot

about to smell the scent of lillies
breath in troubled dust
rushing out to driest desert
my naked knees soak through mud

being seasoned seasoner
seems not help enough
forseeing unseen-able
ends up rough

these, our seasons
reckless in motion
thus locking us
in motionless loops

thank mindseasons
only
mindgardens
blossom
Andrew Jan 18
I’m moving through glue
Of life without you
In an adhesive zoo
Giving avian flu
So I can’t move
In this groove
Where I lose
To my muse

At your beck and call
My engine stalled
So I walk this hall
Free-for-all

Walking home
Is walking alone
Destination unknown
I’m a walking drone

I find a new car
But cannot go far
Once the oily tar
Creates prison bars

Cars have slammed
Causing traffic jams
Like the trap of man
Living hand in hand

Double barrel lies
Have me paralyzed
Scared to try
A stare at eyes

Satan’s will
Has my body still
Anxiety filled
Looking for a pill

The enemy
Is sending me
Messaging
Threatening

The once unbridled
Now sit idle
Using their title
To stop others’ vitals

This quicksand
Kicks the ******
Sickest man
So he can’t stand

Tires flattened
In sheets of satin
They start to fatten
Into General Patton
On a treadmill
Death hill
Where pests ****
My best skills

No detour
On this meat skewer
Where the elite lure
Those who are bluer
To be their bruiser

I find no leeway
On the freeway
Where speed craze
Gets greed praise
So the meek stay
In concede lanes

The gun toting
Fascist voting
Authority doting
Have me floating
When I should be boating

I challenge the world to a fight
And lose to my first opponent
Pathetically crying all night
I thought heart was a stronger component

I can’t stand minds
Of land mines
That span my
Whole **** life
The things I know
Create traffic cones
So I have nowhere to go
But low

I defy the slide
Stuck in the divide
I don’t want to glide
But commit suicide

The liars grinning
At my tires spinning
Increase their sinning
Once they know they’re winning

Dragons fly
In the sky
Passing by
My passive life
They look down on me
Their talons I flee
But fire they breathe
Scorching me deep

I once had you
Now I have them
I’m stuck in glue
That is their phlegm
rchrpoet Oct 2018
Happiness in my life
rare things coming by

Clouds above the sky
come to me don’t be shy

Singing birds up on the trees
fairies making you believe in dreams

Imaginary friend fix my soul
give me true love before i fall

Dark nights into the forest
believe in me i am a fallen

An angel for some, a devil for others
paradise and hell fighting for true lovers

A tornado of true feelings
roses bloom inside me while I’m breathing
Cherisse May Oct 2018
there's too many happenings lately;
it almost feels like
a floodgate breaking due to unseen circumstances,
the water gushing out, roaring, filling the silence with its cries.

it's as if everything feels like
an overwhelming amount of an odd concoction
of what seems to be problems,
diluted only by what i can assume is my sanity.

it's as if i'm drowning, my legs pulled deeper and deeper
underwater, everything and nothing all at once,
trying to fill my lungs until I choke;
there's too much of the world that i cannot simply take in.

and yet, look at me;
the feeling of drowning, the feeling of hopelessness
paralyzes me, fear drilling itself into my mind,
as it advances far into numerous possibilities i can only describe as overthinking.
i describe my own anxiety really badly.

but i do feel bad for being paralyzed in bed, because my undiagnosed anxiety and depression has been pretty bad lately.

I get called lazy when I'm paralyzed with my thoughts. I don't even know anymore. I can't even talk to my own friend anymore.
Mia Cleary Oct 2018
I am standing in a field
I am watching everything I love
And everything  I desire
Circle around me.
It is raining
You are standing in front of me
I am reaching for you but I cannot move
I am calling for you but I cannot speak
I am looking at you but you are looking past me
Your eyes are glazed over
Your fingers are fidgeting
The edges of your mouth are quivering
And you are looking past me,
At her.
The memories of us ache through my bones
I am falling
I am drowning
I am spinning
I am standing in a field
I am watching everything I love and desire crumble before me
And I cannot move.
Mae Jun 2018
My dreams are alive
I am awake

Exhausted
Eyelids weighted
Body limp
It falls asleep

Aware
My mind is awake
screaming
choking
drowning

Panic
My heart sinks
My chest is tight
My breath is shallow

Paralyzed

Focus
"Wake up"
"Wake up"
"Please wake up"

Momentum
I launch my body forward
And force my eyelids open
I gasp for air

I am awake
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