In the midst of our passion, I tried to make you show your hand. You were losing your poker face, I thought your inhibitions were gone.
But when I said “tell me what you want” You replied “for you to be happy and healthy”.
And that shattered the dam. The wall that held back the sea splintered. And I let you see me drown in my pain.
I told you how letting you gorge on me Made me the kind of sad I could control. It was a shallow kind of sad, one that could be fixed with scotch tape. I ripped the adhesive off of the shallow sad When the deep dark sad became too much.
I told you how letting you gorge on me Made me feel useful, even if it validated everything he told me. I don’t care that my body is nothing more than something to be ******, At least I’m doing my friend a favor.
So even if I can’t be happy and healthy right now, And even if you know that, At least we can see each other for what we are As I let you feed his desires for me, And you let me feed my desire for pain.
She powers on forward Manipulated Controlled Victimised Pressured Depressed Torn Twisted Split Thoughtless Irresponsible. She's okay. Her friendly superman will clean the mess Today Tomorrow Forever... She thinks.
The brief summary of the life of my friend over the past 3 months. You get to a point where you stop, and think to yourself "Why is it always my shoulder? Why do I have to deal with the fallout? I need to start looking out for myself."
Why Why do I feel like Something is missing Like you were supposed To be here But you're not You were never here Anyway So why Why do I miss you Why do I wake up Everyday Feeling empty Missing your touch My body is used to you More than my heart Which is why It's the only thing aching I wish you here And I don't even know Why do I want that Why do I feel like that
My heart is held in the hands of people who like to break things. Chaos is their default, and everything is my fault. Why do the broken always find me?
They think I am a mirror, but I am a window. Not fractured like them, but convient and translucent. They keep their hands firm against my cold surface and stare through me while they continue to look for something.