They day I met you was they day that my life changed.
I thought that it changed for the better
Because I thought you were the best thing in it.
But soon I realized that you only wanted me for one thing,
And that was for sex.
If I didn't give it to you, you would get mad.
You'd tell me you thought I didn't love you enough.
And then sometimes you would force me to do it and threaten me if I didn't.
Though most of the relationship was awful,
There were some good times.
I'll always cherish those memories, but I'll simultaneously cringe
At the thought of you.
I realize now that you were in my life to teach me a lesson.
That I shouldn't be so willing to trust someone.
That I should do what I think is right for me.
I shouldn't give myself away because someone is mad that I don't want to.
You taught me what not to look for in a lover.
You taught me how to be weary; how to read people.
I thank you for that.
But I don't thank you for invading my thoughts all the time.
I don't like that you're dating my best friend,
As I don't believe you've changed.
I do not want her hurt.
But, in order for me to be happy, I must rid myself of the thought of you.
I must say goodbye to the thought of you.
I will not allow you to plague my mind and make me weary.
I will not allow you to poison my thoughts and make me mistrusting.
I will, however, allow you to let me do what is right for me.
By forgetting you, and letting myself learn to trust again.
By forgetting you, and letting myself learn to love again.
By forgetting you, and learning what it feels like to truly be loved.
So, with this, goodbye to the thought of you.
i know how it feels at night
when all you can think about
is your pain.
and how it feels to wake up,
to pick up the broken pieces
and carry them with you
through a whole new day.
i can see the roads
left on your cheeks,
where your tears traveled down
back into your weary heart.
i can hear the words,
under your chest
and in your soul,
the ones you are
afraid to even whisper.
i have walked in your shoes,
and worn out my soles,
trying to run from the hurt
and the reminder of it.
i have felt my own heart
like i know you can yours,
until i realized
it could never be whole again,
if hope was not reborn.
so, dear brokenhearted,
do not get tired of waiting.
all your crushed heart needs
is some rebuilding.
I was born a child and died an old man
I had my own fair shares of cheer and pain
For I lived a life on converging roads
Nonetheless, found a happy endings
I came back again with new flesh and bone
To a brand new world when I was newly reborn
This time around my old self was gone
Lost my conscious and replaced with demon
The trend repeated in an infinite loop
Losing and gaining on surfaces and deep
I was a spirit, a demon, and something else
Traveling, between universes, recycling lifeless
From a youthful age or an older mind
Destiny in one form doesn't seem confined
For until I find, my true place of belonging
I will be coming back again, anew or old, recycling
You don't care,
So fuck you to.
Life's never fair
Or nearly ever through.
I burnt like a bitch
At the stake a witch,
Heretic, non conformist,
On a penny you switched.
I was cinders
Amidst the timber,
Never could fit
So to the rest thought fuck it.
Pour the fuel
It's raining from buckets,
Abrasion, the friction makes it hot,
Sparks & burns the fucking lot.
I'm chaos, worth more than the
A taste of fury to satiate your thirst,
Once a lick and forever you'll be cursed.
Kiss Kiss ~
Leave my lips pursed,
Hands on my hips
You find Apathy dispersed.
Every week they gather around in a dark room
Where sounds are the rulers of body movement
Music becomes the puppeteer that aims to abolish silence
Prophecies of love and lust spread across the floor
The veins of the room are shaken by harmonies
Sight is overworked to the point where it no longer works
Light beams run wild, and spotlights bring shadows to centerstage
This busy room is where the dead are born again
But when we want to talk about the dead
Who said anything about coffins and carcasses
Anyone becomes dead when they have lived too much
Like this lady in the corner sipping on her drink
She wears her lips like blood on a battlefield
Her body is raised like she's tipping over the edge
Her skirt hugs her like an old lover
She laughs loudly like she’s ready to cry
Her tears fall directly from the cracks of her broken heart
Another is a boy drinking his youth away
And drinking away all his clean shirts and pants
His eyes wander and surf through the sea of people
Around him are others who drink like him
Others who want to forget
He gulps down each red cup he can get his hands on
He waits for the alcohol to go straight into his brain
Like polish remover, erases the traces of heavy hands
And sharp words that hurt him every time he breathes
For some, this busy room can be home for a few hours
Because home is where life is not allowed
Life does not interfere with our safe space
We come to this room with our dead hearts
Hoping a drink or a song would jumpstart it back to life
We hope the beats bring back the beats in our chests
We hope it brings back the warmth in our skin
For this is the room where the dead are born again
At 4:57 AM EST, 8-23-2017
The sky is closed and
The thunder subsided.
The sky is quite and dark
Just drizzling raindrops pouring down
As if it's eroding and washing away our original sins
I smell the minted fresh air and
Many souls are still sleeping
I guess, god decided to give us another day
Another day to change our courses
For that, my gratitude is immense
For he is love and
Love knows no revenge but
Love knows mercy
and love knows forgiveness.
y las manos que antes
todo lo que he hecho
como una tonta
nunca era nada
mis manos llenas de
la leña quemada
de un fuego
que antes existía
dominando las colinas
las puntas de mis dedos
un dolor extraño
nunca he sentido estos dolores
entierrio las cenizas
con todas las memórias
beso el zacate
verde y rocío
un día crecería
lleno del amor
todo el amor
que me han rechazado
nacido de las cenizas