I only ask you to listen. My mind is a prison. I feel imprisoned. My past is not something I want to reminisce. It hurts like a clenched fist. I dismiss it. Let it free into the abyss. I'll give it time but this won't define my life. So I craft my own demise. Consider this my afterlife. I am still alive, but who that girl was, has died.
The fire came, but the bridge wasn’t burned Every scar I’ve had are ones I’ve earned Deleting conversations from the earth And the way I acted still makes me hurt This is my fourth day in row being sober Fourth day where I didn’t wish this was over I’ll count my blessing like four leaf clovers The love you gave makes the heat feel colder
and just like that, light, fresh air, seeing everything, seeing Myself, seeing how i've lived up to this point, everything, all of it all at once. the veil was lifted again and the person i was seems so far away. there is no past. this is a clean slate. i am a new person. i am not my past, it just happened to me, i am not stuck there because if i was, i wouldn't be here.
i am here. i am not there or anywhere but here. going up and forward. no more looking behind my shoulder, no more opening scars, no more of that.
I love the smell Of the rain Lingering upon my skin The slight chill Working its way up my back As I inhale the cold air Sharp and crisp Flooding me With tomorrow As I exhale Yesterday In short puffs of steam And I feel Reborn As every drop collects In the plane of my body
I don't have to be sorry Not at all My conscience will fall And let me alone I will not regret Not one thing Not one I will feel Instead of fearing I will see Instead of hiding I will go there Meet it Face to face I will not let myself die in disgrace I will fight for what I want I will go there, fall, get up again. I'll be strong And stronger Than I have ever been I will be golden Rock solid, Deep with every emotion within. I will fight, I will fall, and get up. I will know how to call myself up. To be able to look it in the eye No matter how scary, No matter how much I denied everything before. Now and forever more I will be who I truly really am I will be myself, honestly I will be and be and be and I will BE Fierce and fiery and unapologetically ME.