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Guden Jun 13
Sometimes I look at you,
And love runs through my veins.
A love that that brings energy
For my brain,
My muscles,
My spirit.
Sometimes I look at you,
And I don't understand,
What you're doing here,
With me,
Why you love me
So broken
Beyond repair.
Sometimes I look at you,
And I want to drag you
To this hole I'm living in,
Perhaps that way
I won't be so lonely
Perhaps that way
You'll feel what I feel
And discover
You'll be better off somewhere else.
erie Dec 2021
i wish i had never left
it wouldn’t make a difference
if i was there or if i never came
in the first place, a testament
to the latent fact that i am never
anywhere or anyone anyways

and when i left i met you
and i hate myself for it
because until then i was fine
it was all fine and it was okay

and now i’m thirteen again
whenever i look at the instagram
screenshot, i took it because
i was zooming into your eyes
too much and my fingers got
tired and i decided to **** it

you’ve got me writing in verse
you’ve made me published again
i hate you for it

i want to be yours
of course i do
but i don’t just want that
i usually would, but i
just want you to be loved
hell it doesn’t even have to
be me it certainly shouldn’t be

i never looked at the sky
before for answers, i think
that ****’s pretty dumb but
i’m also pretty dumb
and you’re just pretty

if you would let me
i would watch you forever
i would listen for hours
i’d follow you to hades
or long island where
you say it’s really sick
or the ******* palisades
or anywhere else but here
and if you told me to
drive off a bridge i would
because it’s picturesque
and you’re always right

and it’s not healthy
but i never claimed to be

i can’t stop seeing what i want
in my head, a movie of us
surrounded by a green border
i’ve gone way too far into it

and look at this **** i’m
writing rupi kaur 2012
poetry so i guess she had
a point about the books
and the flowers or whatever

something about flowers is
i thought they were so stupid
like puppies and glitter
but now whenever i see
beautiful plants and
old books i think of you
and it’s sickening

a friend told me you
love somebody else and
it should have been
relieving to me but then
i just started to break
because somethings wrong
with me and i can’t just let
the simple **** go
i have to be dramatic
i have to be the worst
person in the world
for some ******* reason

i think you don’t understand
that when i look at you i
don’t see the things you see
because you’re beautiful
and i ******* hate you for it

i don’t cry, i can’t really
because being vulnerable
is stupid and immature
but every other day i cry
and i cry for you
and it isn’t fair i know
but i can’t help it anymore

and i thought maybe it
was another charade because
i was bored and i wanted a game
but then you revealed more of
yourself to me and at some
point i couldn’t deny that
whatever you made me feel
wasn’t fleeting it was forever
and it’s still ******* here

i used to take risks
and gambles and then i realized
that they hurt beneath the skin
and now i’m doing it again
i’m screaming and clawing
at the edge of the world

it’s two in the morning and
i’m literally writing this out of
order and i’m not mentioning
what i should because if i do
it will make it real and it
will make me so utterly
depraved and disgusting

i can write so many things
for you and all for you
and usually i could anyways
but i can write books
i can write anthologies
plays and manuscripts
things they put in chapels

if you see me don’t say anything
you can laugh and swear and
cuss me out and then you can
leave me and i know you won’t
because you’re so nice
(and yes, i hate you for it)
but you really should
before i destroy us and
this thing we’ve created

i like you too
and i ******* hate you for it.
i'll cringe abt this in a few years but sadly i have mental illness LOL!
Broken Pieces Sep 2021
Why do I feel so lost?
My life is getting better day by day,
But my mental health seems to be the cost.
I'm trying to listen, but I'm tired of what they say.
The voices in my head are so loud,
It's drowning out everything out.
I feel like I have to act proud,
But I just want to shout.

Leave me be you stupid inner thoughts!
You cut me down harder than a knife,
You make me feel like I'm at a loss.
I don't want to die but I wanna give up on life!
Why does everything have to be a certain way?
Why do people continue to judge?
Can't people just finally stay,
I'm tired of each and every petty grudge.

This world is simple but yet so hard,
I want to give up but I don't know how.
I make a mirror break and use a shard,
I'm not okay, there is no way back now.
Like ***** I've known for awhile,
It doesn't change the fact that I still love you.
I keep trying to live in denial,
You keep changing but I wish you loved me too.
Agatha Prideaux Sep 2021
You feel like
A ghastly mist, crawling up my toes
Touching frozen ground as you wrap
The soles of my feet in pasty white.

You feel like
Wet hair seeping through every thread
Of a pillowcase where you rest your head
Cold, warm, cold, warm—uncomfortable.

You feel like
Sore eyes from screens too bright
As you type in bold, black thoughts
A manifesto of the conflicts within.

You feel like
A room with no light, air, and sounds
Stagnancy echoing—the streaks, the blowing, the ringing
Were all dampened, washed out, unheard of.

You feel like
The sudden flash of blindness in the sky
Overlapping the deepest violets with such crisp tear
And they, too, tear as well.

You feel like
An intrusive intrusion of an intruder
An interlude to all the things you've done
An intermission to the tango that has just begun.

You feel like
A stale yet warm yet ugly yet comforting embrace
I wrap around you just to seep in every inch
Of what only you could offer.

You feel like
The last beginning of the endgame
The enshrouding entrance of what is to come
The naked piece of the puzzle
I have yet to grasp fully

You feel like
Bitter goodbyes
Unfiltered eyes
And crimson skies.
what a depressive episode feels like.
Mitch Prax Sep 2021
This world
doesn't need me-
can't you tell from its silence?
It's deafening.
Ahmad Attr Aug 2021
‘’You are the perfect one
My salvation
The best thing I’ve ever done
Is to love you back

And the languid wind, it’s telling me
That you’re my companion
All the stars burning up the sea
The whispers in the canyon
The dying grass under wilting tree
All the buzzing bugs and the setting sun
They tell me you love me too
Is it true?

And the sunny breeze of reality
Saying we belong together
In the peace and clarity
We'll be one for forever
I’ll hold you with me like gravity
I’ll be your earthly tether
And when you say you love me too
Is it true?

And if it is
Maybe just a kiss
On my longing lips
All my years have led me to this
To the point where I love you
I live for you
I love you
I live just to love you’’

Keep parroting me
I love you
Just keep repeating what I say

‘’I love you’’

Keep parroting me
Don’t stop
Until you love me

....until you love me
Mitch Prax Aug 2021
Just keep me busy
through my days so I don't have
to feel anything

6:02 PM
Ahmad Attr Aug 2021
I wanted to write back to you for a long time
But something kept me passed out
On this mellow bed
I tried to forget him for all the summertime
and I don’t need him
Perhaps better without
But it’s a matter of want
I want him
I was created to love
I love him
I moved to this unknown town
With buildings that tower over me
It reminds me of him
His mastery of everything
He knows too much
It almost suffocates you
So I ran away
But why can't forget about him?
His thoughts creep inside my mind
They infect and multiply
Until only thing that remains
Is just him
But why can't I get over it
His voice bleeds from the wall of my room
Drop by drop filling my ear
His laughter, wittering
His giggles beat in the corners of my room
His humming ambles all around me
His breathing lies beside me
Am I insane, going crazy?
I feel like burning
Slowly breaking apart
I bury my face in hands
And I bellow in pain
It’s almost like that I can’t think of anything else
I wrap myself in his images in my mind
You ask about me, what is there to tell?
I don’t know anything about myself
Who am I?
Tell me
Am I real?
Was I created so you could say
The things you can’t otherwise
Too good at lies
Am I just a character in your head?
You needed someone to listen, and instead
You created me
Needy, lonely
You are an immaculately horrible architect
You created me but too close to yourself
I’m just you in a guise
Too good at goodbyes
Erase me, I can’t share your pain
At this point I can’t take it anymore
So Heed me
Heed my call
End me already
‘’I can’t’’
Or fill my world with happiness
‘’I can’t’’
I beg you
‘’forgive me Joanne
I can’t,
these people are too real
humans, they scare me
they surround me,
making me unable to breathe
they crush me underneath their greed
they disappoint me
when the paint I put on them evaporates
revealing just how unkind they are
Joanne, I am weak
I need you
You must remain
I need someone to share my pain’’
The poem is about an imaginary character created to bear the pains of the creator, she writes a letter to her ''God'' to end her misery as she is only a one dimensional sad damsel.

The part 1 of this includes a letter sent to her by her creator:
Joanne I=
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