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Northern Poet Oct 2017
I know the feeling
I feel the pain
Look outside
******* pouring rain

The days are dull
And all the same
So ******* boring
So mundane

The only excitement
Is two days of rest
When you’re alone
You get it off your chest

You go to the ******
And drown your sorrows
And ******* pray
It’s not Monday tomorrow

We fought for freedom
Now we’re under the thumb
Pay your ******* taxes
And work till your numb

But don’t you worry
You’ll get your time
Just work for 70 years
And you’ll be just fine
I can’t tell if music actually helps
Sometimes it distracts
Other times it presses
And ever once in a while
It sets me off
Tears spilling, heart breaking
I blame the music
Even though I know
Music has nothing to do with it.
How it’s hard to be a person.
Lesson One.
Being one.
It’s fun when you’re a kid because mischief is cute, but now you wear a suit and “funerals” is in your vocabulary and there’s never peace of mind and you’re always weary for the times when you make a mistake because being an adult means you have to be great 100% of the time... unless you’re out of your mind in which case it’s legally forgivable, but you’ll never get back the friends who were critical and that brings us to
lesson two. Cynical.
Making friends.
Making friends is hard in this bizarre world of mine. As an adult you never have the time. You don’t know who to trust. If it’s the opposite *** it must be ****, right? I mean that’s all we’re ever told. Fight for the right to make out. The brave and the bold always go for the gold whenever lips are involved. Same *** is just as bad. It’s sad really. Hyper masculinity & competitive-ism run amok. It’s just our luck that we’re taught to be different but also to never give a ...
“Who cares if things are bad. Now let’s not get political. So you’re saying that when you were young you were proud to be whimsical. A trait that you developed. It’s personality? Well personally I think it’s weird. Originality? What are you *****?”
You see the point I’m trying to make? You don’t? Well for goodness sake, open your eyes. You think I’m not trying? You’re lying to yourself if you think this is easy.
Putting it all on paper.
Being an instigator.
They’ll say “see you later” for sure, but you bet they never will.
Alienated for the views of loving everybody.
It’s hard to be human.
A depressed optimist walks into a bar.
Riptide 4d
I have had many people tell me,
I have had many people tell me,
"We will be friends forever! BFF's!"
BFFs are not real.
You are lying when you call someone your BFF because,
You don't know if they will stay with you.
I have known many people,
and had many friends.
one tried to drown me in the second grade,
we haven't seen each other since.
One stole from me, attacked me, bullied me, and hated me,
I thought this was normal since I didn't have any other friends beside the girl before her and it took me a year to trust her, I made a wrong choice.
I still have trust issues.
Another person ruined a friendship between me and a boy,
she is now that boy's girlfriend and he left me.
I only have My Lady and my group of misfits.
I have said to many "Goodbyes."
I don't care anymore.
My heart.
Is done.
I don't trust anyone because of these people and more people.
I don't want to tell anyone "Goodbye."
I know how much it hurts.
I only have told someone "Goodbye." once.
Only once.
I am only not saying "Goodbye." To those, I love because they need me.
Sara 7d
time freezes.
i’ve been just barely hanging on for so long now
and it’s as if that final strand has finally snapped.
i’m stuck in the split second between everything being okay and everything not.
i know what i have to do.
and so i bring out my friends.
sharp, silver, small
the ones that are there for me when no one else is
and i tell them my pain, my suffering.
they validate me.
they promise me that they’ll make it all stop.
and that’s all i really want anymore.
Sara 7d
no one notices
it’s a blessing and a curse i suppose
i’m glad that no one’s trying to stop me
but i wish that someone cared enough to try
i wish someone would notice
but that would ruin everything we’ve worked for
i’m wasting away to nothing
and even so
no one notices
this just means i have to try harder, right?
at least, that’s what ana tells me
so we go from 800 to 600 to 400
and we work so hard
but still
no one notices
ana’s all i can think about
and she tells me
“just a little more”
“people will start to care when they need to”
“you’re just not sick enough”
sometimes, in my darkest hours, i voice these thoughts aloud
and even after all of that
no one notices
Sara 7d
i sit across from you
as if at a dinner party
but I think we both know that’s exactly the reason that i’m here now
you lure me in
whispering promises and secrets
“it’ll be just between us” you say to me
“after this, you’ll be beautiful”
i believe you
i start to give in, lean forward, close my eyes
stop it.
they’re lies!
tears are streaming down my face now
i fall back with a whimper
you’re turning mean now
“you’ll never be pretty if you keep at this”
“you’re not worthy”
i’m shaking i’m sobbing i’m scared
i thought i was the one in control
i thought i had the power
but now you’ve stripped me of that and everything else i once was
i have nothing left now except for you
you, my porcelain savior
You hold me tight against your chest.
I try to wiggle out my best.
Kiss me on my shoulder and neck,
but I try to drop and hit the deck.
You say you love me and I do the same,
but inside I wish I wouldn't have came
to see your smile and curly hair
because when I see you, I tear.
It's not that I don't love you.
It's that you love me too.
I don't hate you or want to hide,
but somewhere else my heart will bide.
Your kind eyes against mine,
makes me cry I'm fine.
But I'm not fine and that's obvious,
even you see my sloppiness.
You're too perfect for me.
You don't believe me even when I plea.
Our relationship, I possibly blew,
because I know deep down I don't deserve you.
I've been struggling with depression and my boyfriend right now is being super sweet to me even though I've been nothing but a **** to him. I told him how I feel like I'm a bother and how I don't understand why people want to be around me. He keeps telling me its because I'm full of life, but the problem is that I fake it. He doesn't believe me when I tell him he's too good for the wreck that I am.
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