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555 · May 2018
Book Suicide
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
On a wooden shelf textbook waits
Harboring facts, knowledge, dates
Each year summer brings needed rest
After each final, each test.

But summer is gone and school has begun
So away with freedom, the warmth of the sun
To a teenage girl, textbook goes
What horrors await? Textbook doesn't know.

Hurled in a locker, metal slams
Smothered by a shirt that says "Go Rams!"
Shoved in a backpack, do not suffocate?
Can't miss the school bus, hurry, don't be late!

Scribbled and doodled on, "It tickles!" It screams
But teenage girl doesn't realize silence is not what it seems
Spilled soda burns; acid sweet
Bubbling suffering unimaginable heat

Left on a desk, a window so close
Pages now stick, it is so gross
With its strength the textbook flies
It has just commited suicide.
An old one I wrote for school in 10th grade
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
If there are other
Dimensions that means we are
Together somewhere
I'd choose you, in any lifetime, in any version of reality. I'd find you and I'd choose you.
553 · Sep 2018
Effort (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
I wish you'd put as
Much effort into getting
Clean as getting dope
When I lost my excuses I gained results
553 · Nov 2020
Hope And Truth
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
There is dissatisfaction
Between hope and truth
Expectation the one to blame
Fool we acquainted in our youth
Break bones with reality
Cut throat with an honest knife
Pull open and bleed out my dreams
Get used to the brutality of life
Because it never plays out like it does in our heads
552 · Mar 2018
You Are My Light
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
You brighten the dark days
With an enduring light
Keeping me aglow with love
Even in the blackest night
Another text sent to my boyfriend while he was at work. Even when life is bleak and looking dark he finds a way to shine through the difficulties like a ray of sunshine.  He is usually the only thing that keeps me going.
552 · Jun 2018
Closer To Heaven
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
You make fear fall down like rain
Push all the floods I am facing out
No longer am crawling around
A hallway heavily anchored with doubt

I have found a use for these clumsy feet
They now sense the right direction to go
Ground moves me closer to you
I can hear pounding of the waves below

A river of everything I have lost
Water quivers as I walk away
A shiver runs up my spine
Sinking pain felt yesterday

Flowing like ocean's highs and lows
Mood rises and shrinks with each swell
Tide pulls me closer to Heaven
Arms pull me away from Hell
552 · Jun 2018
I Deserve More
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Didn't I make you happy?
Wasn't I there for you?
Am I not right here waiting,
After the pain you put me through?

I tried hard to be like you,
I wanted so badly to make you proud,
It looks like it was all in vain,
My knees are weak, head is bowed.

Who am I going to confide in now?
Who will be there to clutch my hand?
I have never taken you for granted,
Do you get why I can't understand?

Why do bad things happen
To people who deserve good things most?
I gave you the world hidden within me,
You left me with your empty ghost.

I am sure you're doing fine by yourself
While I'm hollow, yearning for your kiss,
I may not be the perfect girl,
I know I deserve more than this.
Written 1/4/13
552 · Oct 2020
Back To Me
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2020
I did not think this day would come
The love in your eyes fades away
Would do anything to fix us
To make you stay

I wonder what you are thinking about
How you actually feel about me
I want the most to know the truth
Parts you don't let me see

I am not sure what's real or not
You are so good at telling lies
Pointless yet I am determined
To break your disguise

I love you unconditionally
Always and forever will
If you no longer feel the same
Why continue to say you do still?

If it's because you are scared of being alone
Can tell you right now you'll be fine
Many girls are just waiting for their chance
The moment you are no longer mine

And you deserve the best
The happiness you desire
Should have known that eventually
Of my foolishness you'd tire

You do more than I could ever deserve
From the start I knew
You were far too good for me
Was lucky just to be with you

I know good things never last
So I do not know why I'm surprised
Guess I was naive to believe
Feelings would never be compromised

Our love for eachother so strong
Was all I could be sure about
Despite ****** up things we endured
Connection remained free from doubt

We went through worst together
Lived to experience the best
It wasn't always easy
Relationship passed each test

Now out of nowhere **** starts to change
No reason I can find
Are you growing apart from me?
Scared I'll be left behind

I am desperate for a solution
Be what you need once more
It seems like you're ready to end it
Halfway out the front door

I love more than I ever have
The harder I try the more we fight
Can tell you're getting sick of me
I can't stop holding you tight

I wish I could behave more like her
Carefree
Down to have fun
Used to have such good times together
Seems like those days are done

Stressed under heavy pressure
Both work to lift the weight
Do my best to lighten the load
My worry makes it inflate

She may not nag
***** at you
I bet if you put her in my place
Years of games and illusions
Would not be as eager to replace

History between us hard
It's filled with so much hurt
I understand why it's nice to escape
Hang out with her and flirt

But you do not know eachother well
Hasn't seen your darker side
I'm sure she has her fair share as well
Secrets and flaws kept inside

You know inside and out
My absolute worst
Can be a lot to handle at times
I will never quit putting you first

I support whatever you pick
You want a break to see how it goes
However long you need
Trying people like shoes or clothes

I do not want anyone else
For your sake I will pretend
Don't want concern to hold you back
You are scared my heart won't mend

I deserve to be permanently broken
All the mistakes I have made
Perhaps the suffering would be gone
If only then I would have stayed

I will forever call you my soulmate
If you leave and never return
No one else could ever replace
Your touch I'll always yearn

Hopefully find your way back to my arms
The happiness you couldn't find with me
Even if I give somebody else my heart
You will always have the key
If it's me
That you don't need
Then when your eyes light up the sky tonight I know you're gonna find your way back to me
551 · May 2017
Dark Outside
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
Please, just change everything around,
I don't like the view from my room,
Outside the rain looks lonely and cold,
and all I can hear is my heart go boom!

I don't know what I'm doing with my life,
Watching it pass through an open window,
I'm supposed to be flying, not dreaming,
Of the day i can finally let go.

The moonlight calls out my name every night,
It wants me to play and have fun,
but I can't laugh and I can't smile,
Because im loyal to the sun.

I cannot trust the darkness, its depth,
Things are not like they were back then,
I'm just waiting for something to change,
That will make me feel whole again.
550 · Feb 2018
A Frosty Evening
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
A frosty evening
Stinging
Grasping onto moonlight
Never releasing hold

The snow breathes
Lives
Quakes gently back and forth
Rocking the earth to sleep

The fog scampers in
Haunting
Blanketing the clammy air
Then abandoning it's call

The wind barks through the night
Mourning
Until day breaches
Unwritten contracts broken
I wrote this a long time ago, i was in middle school so about 10 years ago. I do like it but it is very vague in its essence.
550 · Jun 2020
If Love Was Easy (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2020
If love was not hard
It would not be rewarding
Trophies must be earned
It wouldn't be a prize if anyone could win it
550 · Mar 2020
The Eye Of The Beholder
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
You are beautiful from endless angles
Even with every flaw
Truth is so easy to see
Scars fill me with awe

I love you the way you look
You are light when skies are grey
Life appears brighter when you are around
Grows sunnier each day

Be the person you are right now
The only one I love
First thought on my morning mind
The face I'm dreaming of

Bound for the heavens
Have no doubt
Stars spell out your four-letter name
Before eyes they steadily burn out
So much blue all seeming the same

Some things are indescribable
Never seen such perfection
Heard beauty depends on who beholds
All hearts have different perception
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder
550 · Mar 2018
The Tragic Part
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I've been waiting far too long for you,
And like rain falls to the earth, spellbound,
Endless chances cascade from the sky,
You stand still and watch them hit the ground.

Loyalty, lies, and love for you,
Hold me in place though my heart grows numb,
The tragic part is all along
I knew deep down you'd never come.
It feels like there should be more in between these two stanzas but I don't know. I just write how I feel I don't usually write more than one draft, revision was never my forte. Feedback?
549 · Sep 2020
Halfway To Hell
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2020
Totally submerged in an ocean of fear
I lay my heart on the line
Those three little words I am desperate to hear
I feel like you're no longer mine

Shallow breath razor sharp in my throat
Puddles of tears soak the floor
In a flood of pain and I can't float
So I drown until I wash ashore

Halfway to Hell
No way to turn back
So we stop right where we are
Have no idea how we got so off track
I just know that distance is too far
You are my heaven but lately you have made my life a living hell
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
You shouldn't have to
Pick up the pieces of a
Heart you didn't break.
Thank you for doing it anyways!!! Some guys are willing to fix the bad things someone else did they are that great.
549 · May 2018
What Is A Soul?
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
What is a a soul really composed of?
This question is driving me mad,
I think about it, and it is disheartening,
The answer I lean towards is disappointing and sad.

Humans are made from flesh and bone,
Muscle, hair, 10 pints of blood,
Energy to efficiently move each part
A brain holding thoughts in a flood.

I am becoming very doubtful,
As I am writing these words down,
Is a soul what creates emotions,
Tells mouth to smile or frown?

We deny any possibility,
That ends with loss, sorrow, or pain,
I reach up for higher meaning,
Find no knowledge to gain.

Most people's beliefs rest upon a cloud,
Bathed in a golden glow,
I cannot put my faith in something,
No person for certain can know.

I worry souls are nothing else,
But feelings stemming from our brains,
If that is true, when our bodies leave this world,
And our last breath drawn, what remains?
Tay and i had this amazing discussion about what souls really are and i came to the conclusion that they are concentrated energy. I couldn't accept the obvious answer which is that they are an extension of our conciousness. What do you think?
548 · Jul 2017
You Dont Give A Fuck
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2017
I hate that you're fine while im all messed up,
Im crying, and I bet you are fast asleep,
Im hanging on to every word you said,
And i would let go but im in too deep.

It hurts to know that you feel great,
On top of the world without me around,
Its killing me to talk to you,
But your voice is such a beautiful sound.

Its hard to believe that youre happy,
I guess that you dont miss me at all,
Im tired of arguing with you,
And waiting all day for a text or call.

You told me that I have too much time,
and nothing to think about besides you,
Well im sorry for having emotions,
But my heart is still broken in two.

Im not trying to be a *****,
Im just sick of you not caring,
It would be nice if once in awhile,
You would ask how I'M faring.

You don't understand what I'm going through,
Im doing everything i can. I'm stuck.
But none of that matters to you,
Why can't you give just one single ****?
547 · Jan 2018
Undiscovered Territory
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
Though the future is unfamiliar,
I feel the shape of you against me,
Embedded into my every thought,
Imprinted in my memory.

The one thing time can't take away,
This little piece of you I hold,
Is the only thing I have,
To warm me when the night grows cold.

When I have reached the tipping point,
And life transforms me into a wreck,
I'll just escape to someplace,
Where your breath is hot along my neck.

Although seasons are doomed to pass,
I find that I'm not scared at all,
But relieved to be free of this fear,
And ready to once again fall.

The unknown is going to come,
Whether I like it or not,
So I'm learning to enjoy,
Every second of the time we've got.

What we have; it's something new,
That leaves me breathless every day,
Undiscovered territory,
I no longer want to push away.

Somehow you've coaxed out my trust,
I don't know why you tore down the fence,
I put up around my heart,
But I'm glad you broke through my defense.

I've never been happier before,
Caring about someone too much,
I can't recall ever being so,
Excited to feel a particular touch.

Please tell me you mean every word,
Convince me staying is your plan,
Just say that who I am is enough,
Because I'm doing all I can.

I don't know if I could handle,
The overwhelming sense of treason,
That would ensue if you packed up,
And left without a reason.

I'm not eager to relive old regrets,
Or make the same mistakes again,
Is history doomed to repeat itself?
If so, I wish fate would tell me when.

Up until now I've been guarded,
Careful to protect my heart,
But the moment you appeared,
My self-made armor fell apart.

I'll do anything it takes,
For a promise this feeling will last,
At least long enough for me,
To replace with joy all the hurt in my past.

When I'm with you I forget,
Each small thing that brings me down,
You never fail to make me smile,
Only you can take away my frown.

There's no use in wondering,
If another guy would do,
I could find somebody else,
But no one better for me than you.
546 · Jan 2018
Breakup
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2018
Love is like spring,
There will always be pain,
Equal parts sunshine;
Equal parts rain.

The thick sludge builds up,
It's hard to trudge through,
There are obstacles,
Involving two.

Then snowbanks unfreeze,
There are boundaries no more,
Now aware that this weather
We can no longer ignore.

Tears always fall,
Words always fail,
The love that we had,
Melts away with the hail.

Raindrops come down,
Into puddles they descend,
We have to face the bitter truth,
Our time has reached its end.

My heart is as broken,
As the ice on the lake,
I see the cracks and wonder,
If underneath it feels the ache.

Icicles are dripping,
Disappearing like oxygen,
Along with any chance I had,
Of being with you again.

The hole in my chest is the same size,
As the one in our ozone,
The season will soon be over,
The snow will thaw, I am alone.
546 · Jun 2018
Chasing A Train
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
I am chasing down
A train that left the station
A long time ago
It was like chasing down the last train when you already know its too late
545 · Dec 2019
Born That Way
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
I did not fall in love with you
That sounds strange for me to say
Because I loved you long before we met
I think I was born that way
I don't remember falling in love with you. I just remember holding your hand and thinking about how bad it was going to hurt when I had to let it go.
545 · May 31
Layers
So easy for you being done with me
Tears cried for your name
Things begin looking up for a bit
They always end the same
That doesn't make much sense to me
Spin circles round and round
Scream at the top of my lungs that I love you
Your ears just ignore the sound
Like trapped inside a transparent box
Too incompetent to escape
Hands are bound with ropes
My mouth is covered in tape
To make peace with you is all I desire
Understand irrational fears
On surface situation is black-and-white
Beneath layers more complex than it appears
You think everything is so simple but to me it couldn't be more complicated
544 · Jul 2021
Bad Timing
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2021
I guess the timing isn't right for us
As usual fate is in the way
I wish you the best out of life
I'll miss you every day
I wish I would have known how you felt sooner, but now you are leaving and I am stuck with the bitter taste of "what if?" left on my tongue..
544 · Nov 2020
Handicapped
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
Breathing
Able
Speaking
Aware
Hearing
Blessed with sight

Yet I feel handicapped
I just feel like something makes me incapable of doing simple tasks everyone else seems to be able to accomplish with no trouble
544 · Mar 2018
Addicted To Love
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I am addicted, I must confess
Lately I've been a distracted mess,
I'm not myself, acting mad,
You are the fix I need bad.

Have cravings in my head
For your presence in bed,
I try to stop them, instead they grow,
Prancing around my mind to and fro.

Falling hard, I isolate,
Care too much so I fixate,
Loved ones think I am depressed,
**** their opinions, I am obsessed.

Bad choices, on another binge,
Melted love fills the syringe,
Tie off arm, find a vein,
Wince as I feel usual pain.

Anticipation comes in a flood,
Viewing the needle awash with blood,
Calm, I slowly push it in,
Quickly remove the point from my skin.

It does the trick, I wait to feel
A high so good it is almost unreal,
The way I go crazy around you
Has me confused; dizzy too.

The rush I get when you get close,
Has me begging for my next dose,
Love is worth the pain that follows,
Empty sickness as your gut hollows.

Desperate to see your face,
Affection is the drug I chase,
My whole world revolves around your touch,
It's unhealthy, you are now my crutch.

It is harmful yet I still ingest,
What fills the heart inside my chest,
This well-known poison I speak of
Is a wonderful substance called love.

It can make you lose a big part
Of yourself, even your heart,
Changes you into someone new,
An unrecognizable statue.

Careful, it's strong enough to ****,
More addictive than any pill,
I'm high off love, need your heart,
Strung out, wishing I could restart.

If I could go back i would,
Turn around before you could,
Poison me with medicine,
"Just say no" before love could begin.

It's way too late for me to quit,
I am controlled by my habit,
Sinking deeper into your abyss,
All I am: a fiend for your kiss.
Metaphor obviously. I think I could have executed it better but it took me like a week to finish as it is. Love is a dangerous habit..
543 · Jun 2018
Cross That Line
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Want you to spend the night with me
While we are still young and have the chance
To enjoy eachother, I just need you,
No useless emotions or insincere romance.

All I long for; your skin against mine,
Found everything I was looking for
In your embrace, in your kiss,
Promise I won't ask for more.

I do not know what it is you do
To bring my smile each day,
I love it. I find myself
Wondering how long you are going to stay.

I know you shouldn't be on my mind,
What else do I have to think about?
That will not bring me down when it's late at night
And stars are starting to come out.

Think feelings are beginning to bulge,
We both agreed not to cross that line,
I am afraid of getting too attatched
Because I'm certain you will never be  mine.
The worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and yet you know you can never ever be with them.
543 · Dec 2020
Weight Of Dreams
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2020
Shook jaded soul asleep
Silenced with hazy thoughts
Never fear and fight the unknown
Ground quaking as images talked
Don't know what happens now
Skin is a canvas for dreams
These stained people and endured places
And weary worms bloomed from instinct
They figured out how to rule my nerves and muscles
Surrendered to the hearse in my head
Burning sunsets weigh down my nightmares
To floods that drown me in this bed
Day 28: Visit an online art gallery and write a poem inspired by a piece of artwork you find there

I chose Weight Of Dreams by Hyunju Kim which is beautiful

https://theartling.com/en/artwork/hyunju-kim-weight-of-dreams/
542 · Nov 2020
Lightyears Away
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
If you love someone you suffer in silence

Want someone you care for to live free of the pain that is harming you

Close in walls to keep them safe from your fires

Life is then never given the chance to twist them the way it twisted you

Let that person stay out of danger's way
They are better off lightyears away
I prefer to keep my issues to myself
541 · Jan 2019
You Sacrificed A Lot
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2019
You were the smallest baby when you were born
How could we have guessed you'd be such a thorn?
You put the twinkle in our eye
It reminds me daily when I look at my thigh.

I hate moments we argue, hate when we fight
You have been so wrong but mostly you're right
Can't imagine giving birth to a child
You sacrificed lots to make sure I smiled

I dedicated life to my daughter
Little did I know that would stupidly start some slaughter
Now you go begin life on your own
I stand back watching how much you have grown
Very confident and bold
More valuable than silver or gold

I did not ask to be brought into this world
Hands tiny, innocently curled
So much time has passed since then
Now you're not just my mom, you're my best friend!

Raising you taught me so much
With more ahead in store
Every day that passes I
Love more and more
Me and my mom did this collaboration together i thought it was pretty badass
540 · Jul 2018
Exploring Insanity
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
It hurts to hear you say I am crazy
Although I know it is true
Love brings out lunacy in me
I am only like this when im with you

Thoughts of touch drive me mad
When gone wonder who you hold
If you would answer your phone
Some sanity I could uphold

Instead leave me in our cold bed
Choosing friends and fun over affection
I stay loyal by your side
Conflicting emotions pull me every direction

Was not psychotic when we met
Never have been the jealous type
Your behavioir has proved you're a traitor
Evidenced by tears I cobtinue to wipe

After many lies and stories
I am not sure what to believe
I lost my mind, paranoid
Obessessed over the way you deceive

If I could I would vanquish the sickness
Each morning bad weather we find
Want to calm impending storms
Can't reach your marvelous mind

Dreams of delusional lands far from here
Thoughts and ideas cannot be contained
I do not care if you are sane or not
These issues can all be maintained

I understand I am too much to handle
Want to save you from insanity
Afraid craziness will consume you as well
If you want, I invite you to explore this madness with me
We're all mad here
538 · Mar 2020
Unchanging
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
Trees turning late September
Leaves nosediving the ground
I know I should be changing too
Think as evening comes around

Fighting my shifting demons
Dropped to shaking knees
Autumn's knife struck my heart
Chill spreading like disease

With eyes shut in cold apprehension
Underneath a waning moon
Dreams
Sunshine
Disappear and are replaced
By fear of Winter coming soon

Wrapped tight in blanket of desperation
Colors switch to dull from bright
The nights steadily grow longer
See less and less clinging daylight

Making pathetic attempts
Lift myself off the floor
To transform like the weather
Wishing to not be the same anymore

But heart remains frozen solid
The months continue on
Seek a metamorphosis
Still meet resistance each dawn

Temperatures decrease little by little
Doubts and insecurity rise
Avoid facing the bitter wind
Everything in nature dies

Animals go into complete hiding
Have to admit I relate
Sleeping in to escape the world
A way I also hibernate

I try climbing towards my goals
Instead like seasons dizzily Fall down
Stripped barer than naked jagged branches
Forced beneath icy feelings to drown

Frost covers each surface
Departs as morning wakes
Dew remains as evidence
Like shavings after erased mistakes

Not long until snow layers earth
Buries all white touches
I couldn't bury flaws as well
Bad habits caught in my clutches

I stand rigid as an anchor
Though it might sound strange
Time ages all surroundings
Somehow I don't change
A poem using fall changing to winter to compare ways my life should (and could) change if I tried but am too incapable
538 · May 2024
Replay
Amanda Kay Burke May 2024
Sometimes angry with choices
Sometimes happy though you are gone
Sometimes painful to remember voices
Every word replays in mind like a song
Got my iPod stuck on replay
537 · Mar 2018
Casualties (Haiku)
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I always end up
Self-destructing, leaving those
Close wounded or dead.
I wish I had more control.
537 · Jun 2018
Take Another Breath
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Emotions have a hold on me
Will not let me go
I wish I could end it all
You keep saying no

"You would leave me here?" You ask
I do not know. Would I?
Never want to hurt you
But it is easier to die

I cannot face life anymore
It is too hard to carry on
You are the only thing I have left
Every other positive aspect is gone

For you I continue to push forward
Another day I try, take one more breath,
I wish you would just let me
Succumb to the certain peace of death
Written 2-12-17

I remember writing this to my now-ex-boyfriend when we were in the throes of a crippling ****** addiction and I honestly did want to die I hated almost every second of my life, but he was the one thing that made staying here worth it. I could never leave my loved ones here lile that.
537 · Jul 2018
He Isn't You
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Who have you changed into?
Where is the guy I knew?
What have you done with my friend?
All I know, he can't be you.
Drugs change people
536 · Nov 2019
Leave The Darkness
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2019
I will leave the darkness one day
Nothing to take me away
I am nothing that's worth saving
Can't be stopped from caving

A sense of justice discovered in destruction
Pain teaching specific instructions
Sadness gives tears to wash my conscience clean
One last time I return to the crime scene

They were not brave enough to face danger
Nothing is worth losing for a stranger
******* nothing to nobody
Surface is scratched and muddy

When you love me like a hero
Have the power to make me more than zero
All you need to rescue me
You own already
Day 17: Write a poem that employs a rhyme scheme
536 · May 2024
The Mystery
Amanda Kay Burke May 2024
And how do I keep inhaling when the air has vacated my chest?
With memories that use up all the time that I invest
Banished like pests from the house I used to inhabit
No longer within reach like the rest of my bad habits
To think what you did this for unable to find a reason
Only blank spaces stand to justify your treason
What pain I am composed of
Fear constructs my skin
Until new experiences are made
Old ones sink further in
Again and again play movies in my mind
History home to me so I constantly rewind
I continue living though it's just a waste
Adventures await but I can't seem to make haste
If only I could control these dire thoughts
With your presence gone happiness rots
Seeking solace in words spilled onto page
Anticipating the key that will unlock my cage
The mystery remains as to the force driving you to go
Perhaps even you yourself don't know
Written 2-26-21
535 · Apr 2019
Heart Of Glass
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
My heart is made of delicate glass
Understand that it breaks easily
The tiniest obstacles in my path
Freeze my heartbeat temporarily

Other times it feels as if
It has not yet pumped blood at all
Like red waves building up dammed in
Cannot push through my scarred heart's wall

Sometimes it is so full it bursts
Overflowing love right out of my chest
But that bliss also means when it bleeds it hurts
Great joy comes with proportionate unhappiness
Yes I stole the title from Blondies #1 hit
535 · May 2017
Twelve Months
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
Im dying to see you and hear your voice,
But I can't run to you anymore,
In fact, its better if i dont think,
About the way things were before.

Surrounding myself with memories,
Will only bring me certain pain,
I need to realize that wishing
For you back wont lead to any gain.  

I know that you arent suffering,
Because you havent tried to call,
How come this isn't hurting you?
Did you ever really care at all?

Maybe for you the last twelve months,
Were a waste of time and energy,
But you gave me the best year of my life,
It meant everything and more to me.
Sorry i had technical difficulties while writing this my phone kept messing up so i finally just got on a computer and i didnt have problems after that.
535 · Feb 2024
A Wish
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2024
If getting the chance to read this
Every day a brand new start
Don't dare give up on a wish
If what you long for in your heart
A dream is a wish your heart makes ♥️
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The only time I ever smiled was with you
Your presence the sole thing able to coax out a laugh
I regret putting my happiness in your hands to hold
Now it's trapped inside a fading photograph
Don't put your happiness in anyone else's hands, they'll drop it. They'll drop it every time.
533 · Sep 2018
Nimble Fingers
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Winter nights bring waves of memories
Alone with my thoughts
He said he is sorry and misses me bad
Words tie perception into confused knots

Truly wish I had nimble fingers
To untie them, see clear
Cursing as truth untangles
Weaves a portrait of all I fear

There is always a catch, a hamartia
A flaw in every human's design
As clique as this next line may be
Love can be cruel, so unfairly blind

I try to avoid reminiscing over the past
Though the memories were so precious before
Shaking hands with no control cling still
Just when I think my mind is free my heart offers more
Just when I think Im finally done a flood will come rushing over me and it begins all over again.
532 · Jul 2018
Invisible
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
At times I feel invisible
Everyone is walking by
They can see me standing there
But not the tears I cry

I can't make them understand
The wicked thoughts inside my mind
So instead of trying
Keep them within my skull confined

Many broken things inside
Behind the weak smile I share
Thousands of people look at it
Yet remain fully unaware

I must be invisible
This world not of my own
I hate how I live each day
Surrounded but still all alone
Written 9-30-14

I wrote this long ago but reading it today still makes me feel the same way. Some things dont change i guess.
532 · Apr 2018
Tired Of Me
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
I cannot say thank you enough
For supporting me all seven days of the week
And not giving up where others would
No matter how hopeless or bleak

I am here physically, but not really there
Trapped in the prison within my head
I know you understand for now
I am sure patience will turn to frustration instead

How much longer until you get tired of me
Not calling your phone enough to check in?
How many tearful episodes will you
Be able to face with a grin?

We co-exist but this sweet utopia
Can only last a limited number of days
Despite how calm and supportive you are
Eventually you will tire of my selfish ways
How did I get lucky enough to find a man that is willing to put up with my crazy antics
532 · Nov 2020
Hostage
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
The soul is something to nurture
To be touched with gentle hands
Will only blossom when cared for
By someone who understands

And your eyes feel like a dagger
Piercing through my skin
Puncturing vulnerable parts
Hidden deep within

Once full of serenity and strength
My body now lies hollow
An ocean of potential dried up
Empty pit where demons wallow

Drawing me in against my will
Like a fish caught on a line
Powerless to escape the hook
Captivity hard to define

Freedom drowned in a sea of regret
Pulled by the tide's direction
Swept up in the undertow
Waves crash and silence objection

Reasons remain a mystery
My heart caged without knowing why
Held hostage by past transgressions
Imprisoned by forces too great to defy
I kinda drifted way from the original meaning with this one
532 · Apr 2019
25
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
25
I am so glad you were born
So happy you're alive
Today is the day
You turn twenty-five!
For one of my best friends in the whole world Jessica for her birthday card. Short and sweet.
531 · Feb 2019
Missing Too Many Parts
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
So think about it for a while
Doesn't it make you sad?
To look at where we've ended up
So far from everything we planned?
I try and try to find solutions
To the problems plaguing our hearts
But as I put together the puzzle pieces
I realize we are missing too many parts
I had the rest of this written down somewhere but lost it ):
531 · Jan 2024
Cake
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2024
A cake shared with everybody
Except me

Everyone anticipating slices

So no wishes

No blowing out tiny fires in vain

No spitty frosting
Little traces of yourself embedded deep into the pits of other's stomachs

Instead tie a balloon to wrist

Showing age in slow shuffling

Open ribbon
Unwrap the gift I painstakingly chose for you this year-
NOTHING!
When someone else has their cake, eats it, and then proceeds to eat your slice as well.
531 · Aug 2018
Everyone Leaves
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
In the end it does not matter
Everyone leaves, despite promises once spoken
Time has cruel sense of humor
Makes the strongest heart broken.

The easiest thing you can do to guard
Heart is give up on "forever"
Accept whoever your soul embraces
That tie will eventually fray and sever.
Feeling wise today
530 · Mar 2019
Unsure
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2019
Why couldn't you be honest from the start?
You and your addiction
Uncertainty about everything
The main source of our friction

Going from one crazy accusation to another
Thinking at least one must be correct
Being unsure of own reason and judgement
Makes it hard winning an argument

We are as humans imperfect
Expectations flying high
Fingers losing touch with reality
Unsure of where, when, and why

You see me, all I truly am
Being unsure of who you are is no fun
Be yourself, whoever that may be
Sure it is who you want to become

Grab the second chance offered
Take a second to look
If you want improvement then make some
Be led down the old path you took

Push yourself past triggers
I keep pace with you as best as I can
What the **** is wrong with me?
Death stalking with an unsure plan

It is not the reaper behind me
It is only my own shadow
Pain and paranoia pull then push
Health declining as their strength grows

How have I ended up just like you?
Search for answers you don't have
We can't heal until we do
We keep trying the best we can
All I ever wanted was to understand you fully
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