you are soft like pastel clouds, hibiscus tea and velvet bed sheets.
i'd been dreaming of ascending when i felt myself rise
out of the open sore darkness that had it hands
around my throat.
sometimes i wonder which tee shirt you sleep in.
you are sweet like peach nectar and vanilla extract.
you are the kind of beautiful that it hurts to glance at,
looking at you is like swallowing salt water, it's
almost like dying.
sometimes i wonder what secrets you're keeping.
you are shy like a child hiding behind long floral skirts.
i'm lost in between the corners of your mouth staring at your
lips as you speak, wanting to stop your voice just
for a bit with my lips.
you're holding my hand and you've started to seep in.
sometimes i wonder,
if divinity is the length of your lashes,
or the racing of our hearts,
with their quiet bum bum bums.
it's almost like we
glow in every moment now
i feel like we're stars
i didn't think i had the ability to ponder possibility anymore. but here i am, laying in bed, thinking of the future. i want to offer you, and only you, forever. however long forever lasts, (i wouldn't know i've never been) you can have mine.
we're floating in air
our feet never touch the ground
my heart knows the way
split into a better person i want to empty my veins and give you all i've got. i want you to see that time is endless. with you, i am suspended in time. although, we could have every day for the rest of our lives, but that still wouldn't be enough for me. i want eternity- is that too much?
i want careful love
but i also want to be reckless
i'll blossom for you
you say that you don't want to leave me, so you want to go, in two years to college in-state. i love that i'm someone that you want to change the path you take for. two years is a long time from now though and i'm scared we're too young to plan that far ahead. i'm scared of everything these days.
i'm afraid your mind
will change the moment my eyes
are closed - scared to blink
truth is in deep kissing
the soft shell of a
truth is in the sun rising gently, murmurous, in the east
in a ceaseless search for purpose
in the way Death makes music out of us
in what has yet to happen
in what has yet to hurt
but how can you say truth is not
in misrepresentation; misunderstood art
how can you say it is not the love you feel
for every girl you've ever seen
[the way you could almost melt as you
run your hand gingerly along her soft and her curves
and her edges]
how can you say truth is not a sin
how can you
don’t think about anything
lay next to me with your hands in my hair and my hands in your pockets and you touch me slow and soft like you know what you’re doing
can you feel your heart swelling like mine as i lace my body between yours and i stare up at the cracks in the ceiling or down at the sidewalk or at the green in between the gold in your eyes
we went to a playground like we were children but we didn’t play
sometimes i want to stop breathing just to see if you’d notice
when you whisper into my ear i lose it it’s all hot air and sex and you say i love you low and sweet like a cello and i love you too but i can’t say it because my throat isn’t working
then it’s blue and bright outside and these sheets are so white and i wish you were here you smell so good and you feel so good and i want to run my hand along your jaw and your arms
i don’t know where you are right now baby but i wish it were next to me
sometimes i feel like there
is a reason we are here
other times i do not
but never do i know
what the reason might be
it’s a thinly coated secret
sharp on my tongue
it lies within my reach
at night and slips away
with the notions of day
but not impossible
to live with this condition
of losing what you never had
and not having anything worth keeping
1 the breath that travels from my throat to yours
2 light dripping like honey onto the windowsills
3 the dust from broken glass embedded in the
pads of your fingers 4 and i'm sorry
5 the way you looked at me like you wanted to swallow me
6 my eyes (in response) melting and 7 cooling
8 kissing boys as they stand soft 9 between your thighs
10 hands matched like magnets
11 the tracks turning electric when the train runs near
12 coming home with palms scraped 13 or not at all
14 trying to sit still for family photos
15 the love you kept like a mint behind your teeth [i’ll hook my
tongue around it and try to pull it 16 free]
17 to be the only one who can hurt yourself
18 falling in love in a way you never can again:
for the first time
is a scary thing
to feel blood
rushing from your feet
to feel fingertips on your shoulder
when he is thousands of miles away
to feel your heart pounding as you run
run and surge, rippleless, into that fluid gentle dark
to feel your lungs fill and collapse like
i couldn’t stop feeling
anymore than he could stop being who he was
which was simply: