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NK 5d
I look back at the time I first saw you
That grumpy, anxious face told me a lot about you
I always thought of avoiding you
But I regret it to endlessly wanting you

The world has always been spinning and will go on,
But I swear my world stopped the moment you turned me down
I regret every hurtful word I said to you
‘Cause the truth is that, I can’t afford to lose you

Back in those days when we endlessly quarreled,
I swear I loved that every moment
Thinking of the happy days fills my eyes with tears
Every time your voice blessed my ears

That time we silently held hands
It was the most beautiful silence to ever stand
Your presence gave me an indescribable pleasure
Those eyes of yours had the deepest color

Alas, time has never been the same,
I can’t help, but, look at us in the frame
As I sit alone with that lost hand,
The winds coldly whisper your name

I couldn’t even think of any of this to happen,
Most of it was lost as it was gained
And if we have to pay for the happy times,
I’ve cried too much to be happy for the rest of my life

‘twas a comfort to gaze at your two eyes
Where the widest universe lies
How could I ever lose my universe?
   Hate myself for losing you

The visions I have do me no good,
They keep on turning me back to the same old wood
Where our names are still alive, never changed!
Then why is it us who have to change?

I beg you, if there’s anything I can do
I’m ready to give it all to get back to you.
I’m afraid I can’t pour it all on the desk
But, I swear all this time I’ve been missing you to death

I tried really hard to not to lose you,
Since then, I’ve been trying to make it up to you
And don’t you dare ask me If I’m tired
Because the truth is, I never stopped loving you
Lost love always follows regret and pain. The following lines dipicts the pain and regret of a lover who lost the love of her life the moment she confessed it. It makes her think that things were better off in a simple way, but ,now, she is ready to turn it into an even better way.
D CoLe May 20
If you look into my heart,you will cry
the rainbow rays that escape from
cracks in my heart fade when you get too close.
   the walls of my heart are stained in black and white,holding back the voiceless brilliance buried deep.
I guess I was bruised by by the world
but the scars I have, I adore
to show that I showed up for the fight.


C.o.L.e
Daivik May 19
This OCD
It's killing me
I'm a bit dead already
(But I won't die)

A normal day
I saw a spot on the glass
I cleaned it once to sanitize
Don't know what touch came to my mind
I voice in my head I can't comprehend
I wasn't sure of myself
So I cleaned it a second time
3rd time out of doubt
4th time to maintain my sanity
15th time it was insanity
And I still thought that the glass wasn't cleaned
In that moment I became diseased

I heard these voices constantly
Dictating me,giving decrees
Things I didn't think about
Now so hard to live without
Thinking of them

Intrusive thoughts
Intruders
Included
Such apparitions
It haunts me still
And they wouldn't leave
(I begged and begged and begged)
Such thoughts
I could die
(But I wouldn't )
I felt like the worst man alive
Was I bad
Or was I mad
It made me insufferably sad

A spot a speck
A fallen drop
Rendered me paralyzed
And I carried out rituals
Just to have some respite
I cried inside
Most difficult to fight
To win with your own mind

Internal demons
Killing me
Using me as their device
Too frightened what would others think
An academic boy
Being possessed
I didn't utter a single word
Until I was caught
It was too much
I was obsessed,compelled and disordered

I don't know why I did things
I just felt disgusted
By the spot the speck
Real and imagined
I doubted everything
Even things I did seconds ago
And made crazy theories
Of how that speck would **** me slow
Rationality thrown out of window
Lady Macbeth why won't you go

I confided
Couldn't bear
Thankfully
My parents were there
They couldn't understand
Why I was acting
Such
Over silly things
But it was real to me
It mattered too much

I searched the web
To find the cure
But thing I read
Made me more
And more scared
Was I forever impaired

I went to the psychiatrist
He fed me with some medicines
I would be lying if I say they didn't help me
But my real fight was with the demons inside me
The thoughts
Be gone
I beg to you be gone
I to again become the master of my life

Make your mind stronger still
So what if speck landed on you
It won't be the end of the world
Boy gather will
Said mrs psychologist

I tried it was hard
To be exposed yet prevent reaction
Be obsessed and prevent the compulsion
I had panic attacks
And emotional outburst
Yet I feel
Slowly but surely I am getting better

Thank God my family was so considerate
I feel for those less fortunate

Mental health is all too real
And first step to cure it all
Is to talk(please please for God's sake talk)
Daivik Apr 28
तू राम हैं,रहीम भी
तू सर्वेंद्र हैं,जग-जुगान्तर का साक्षी।

विधिवत विविधता के वन का तू ही वनरक्षक हैं
लक्ष लक्ष्यों की पूर्ति में तू ही तो सहायक हैं।
अंधकार से प्रकाश तक पहुचने में तू ही सार्थी
दुष्बिचारों के दलदल का विनाशक भी तू ही।

भोला बाबा तू
बिन दोष हैं।

सर्वरक्षक तू
तू सर्वोबड़ी
तू ही तो अपार सुंदरी।

तेरी नीति चमत्कार हैं
तेरे सीख निराकार हैं
तेरी लीला अपरम्पार हैं
सत्य ही तू महान है ।

सरोवर एकांत का तू हैं
वृक्ष दान का तू
गंगा ज्ञान की तू हैं
पर्वत साधना की तू
राजा कुदरत का तू हैं।

न भूखा तू प्रेम का
न भोग का,न योग का
न श्रध्दा का,न भक्ति का
न रस का,न यश का।

तेरे नाम हज़ार
उनपर लिखे गीत लाख
परंतु एक तू
परे वाद के।

तू कौन हैं?
इस प्रश्न के कारण मरे कई
तेरा कोनसा रूप पाक हैं
इस पर लड़े गए युद्ध कई।

तू हैं परे संबंध के,परे आकार के
परे मोह के,परे धर्म के
परे रीति,परे इस विचित्र संस्कृति के
परे समय के,परे सृष्टि।

अनादि तू,अनंत हैं
तू रहा हैं सदैव के लिए
परिवर्तन के परे परे।

तू मन की रचना हैं,तू स्वयंभू
अस्तित्व मैं तू कुच्छ नही,आस्था में सब कुच्छ हैं तू।

तेरा अर्थ क्या
किसे पता
जानना असंभव है ।

तू आशा हैं,
विश्वास हैं।
My first hindi poem I wrote 5 years ago.I am an atheist lol.
Zan Apr 27
Whens therapy starting?
Why?
Cause you make me hate me..
The truth?
Sometimes you make me want **** myself...
Too young to have an opinion
Yet not too young to know the truth
Too young to know their orientation
Yet not too young to know its not a phase
Too young to experience racism
Yet not too young to have slurs tossed at your face like casual talk

Too young to understand global warming
Yet not too young to negatively affected by pollution
Too young to understand politics
Yet not too young experience the effects of an incompetent president
Too young to dress like that
Yet not too young to be sent home because the boys are distracted by your shoulders

Too young to experience real pain
Yet not too young to be six feet under because of it
This poem was written by someone who knows what it feels like to be "too young"
You're never too young to make a difference
A change in this unvarying world might be just what it needs
This is the second poem I've ever written, so let me know if you like it.
Lila Apr 25
it's hard when
you finally understand yourself
but then realise
no one will ever accept you
for who you are
(i'll be closeted forever. can't come out in a homophobic country)
Passing by an old brick building on a slow road
I almost laugh to think the last time I was there,
I thought I’d found who I was supposed to be
When I barely knew how to do anything more
Than stay quiet and stay out of everyone’s way.

I told my old soul sisters I’d see them soon
But I haven’t seen those pieces of my heart in a while.
Back then lies went down easy with a smile
And I didn’t know when everything would change
Because all the other new beginnings I prayed for
All too quickly became the worst things I could imagine.

It nearly broke me to know tragedy like the back of my hand,
But every story has its perfect ending and the last days
Were truly (almost) everything they should have been.

Looking back now I felt like I was flying through clouds
Even when all I wanted was to let myself scream again.
Read the full version of this poem exclusively on Medium here: https://briannarduffin.medium.com/the-back-of-my-hand-f1922dde51f9
D CoLe Apr 24
Tame me with the gaze of your eyes
       Shield me from the cold world with the
warmth of your smile.
Moonwriter Apr 22
Dad
One thing I never had
was a kind dad

I wish a lot that I could’ve
But as I ponder over the
thought

And realize that without that
I would be the teen I am today

But like most boys
I still wish to have a dad

That wouldn’t hurt or hit me as bad
and that would be there for me

Cause my life hasn’t been easy
but I am thankful for those who
we’re there

In the times of darkness but I can’t stop

THINK WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE A KIND
DAD?
I have never had many great experiences with my dad and I wish things could change.
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