I don't know why we never shared a goodbye. We just kind of ended like the stars do when the sun creeps up in the horizon. For a faint moment, I watched you drift away. Realizing the extent of my inner despair. Wishing for your hand resting softly in my hair. Dreaming of the days you were locked tight in my arms. Holding on to hope that someday you might return. Some time has passed since we shared a moonlit kiss. My heart would always race as your illuminated lips grew closer. The empty sidewalks came alive just to giggle at our romantic ploys. You'd always be there when I awoke. Ensnaring me with the limitless look in your eyes. When I think of you, I fall back in time. Clear as day, I'm taking your hand as we depart from your porch into the wide-open world. The world hasn't changed so much I suppose. It just seems a tad more lonesome now, and my boots feel a lot heavier.
Days of angst Pursue me through Awkward moments galore, The hangover to my prior life. Middle school bells ring In the corridors of my mind, Harkening back to a time When sharpened pencils where More important than rent. High school bells bring me A cold comfort I can't explain, I guess not enough time Has passed for me to smile. If only these tears Could be wiped from my face Without the slow hand of time Quelling my soul's embrace. Perhaps I'd smile with heart.
sometimes, you're the only thing that's running inside my mind--- when it's past midnight and i can't seem to close my eyes, when it's dark and cold and i'm all alone in sight, i feel the ghost of your kisses on my neck haunting me.
maybe you'd think i'm having a nightmare, no. because most of times, i'd still choose this empty feeling over anything.
Anxious she finds herself Though lately less so Childhood bed In her childhood home Thinking childish thoughts in her childhood head Russian nesting doll
Nesting Nesting soon to be though not so Rings and nausea And please let me sleep Head in her mother’s lap
Mental illness and lack of routine Tapping on her glass
The blurry light from the hallway outside the bedroom reflecting on the shiny wooden headboard. How many many many times has this dappled wood revealed its imperfections in that blurry reflected light? Put me to sleep with your consistency and resolve
Thank you little light And mother’s hands that flipped the switch And eyes that remember And mini terrors of her adolescents that gave this reflection the right to sweep across her consciousness in swooning waves that feel soothing as they scrape.
In this moment its comfort is quite enough
Trying to fall asleep over the holidays and the blurry reflection of the light on the headboard that I didn’t know was so familiar to me