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No matter how hard I try and try
There is no end
Things keep happening on replay
I just want it to end
I want all things to be clear
I want them to be black or white
but to my dismay
all things are grey
I need a light to guide me, to show me the way
So nothing can pull me astray
Sometimes I don’t know where I am
Stuck in this thick grey jam
Then the light appears
And all the grey clears
The same thing happens again and again
I’m led astray
Then shown the way
It’s like my life is on replay
~17/3/21
Someone, please show me the way...
Sadie Grace Aug 2020
a million reminders
that I can't run away from this time
not this time
stuck in the rewind
I replay the day it all changed
Can't I just forget?
Until then --- in the ashes I remain
can you leave, please?
I want to be alone and grieve

grieve for you
and the fact that
you don’t feel
the way I do

stop messing with me
I need some vitamin c

think I’m gonna pass out
you know what this is about

it could be a simple „sorry“
„can we start over
or write a new story?“

but this won’t happen
and if yes, in my dream
’cause we’re not even a team

I think about you every day
begging for a single replay

your name is written
on the walls of my mind
I can’t wipe it off
its like graffiti
and the paint is sticky

- gio, 10.04.2020
rose Apr 2020
laying my back and staring up
at my white ceiling
observing the patterns
time draws by
and my mind is going
a mile a minute
replaying moments
that were real
evocative
and creating moments
that never existed
muteD Mar 2020
Words hurt
But yours shouldn’t have to.
The things you say stick to me like a
Tattoo.
I’m a vacuum.
I **** up all the things you say
and it just replays.
You say
things you think you have to say
in ways
that are better left unsaid.
Too bad you can’t UnSay
the things you said
even though I know
you never would.

How come
it is always the ones we hold closest
that is gifted
with the blueprint
of our defeat?
a way to have us
beaten, broken hearted
and down
on both knees.

How is this honest?
How are we fair?
To be clear,
as you sleep
without fear
I sit here and think.
If you had a snore for every tear I’ve shed,
you might never wake up.
Written : 3/4/20
Nightmares plague my sleep
And my reality
And all the **** time
I have sleep anxiety/ nightmare disorder, sometimes insomnia. So whenever I do get sleep, it’s never restful. I often wake in the middle of the night, scared and shivering, but I don’t remember why. I’m just scared. Then, throughout the day, disturbing images flash randomly through my head. I guess they’re from nightmares...
His goodbyes were like the sunset
A warm embrace leaving the day
How calming was his presence
As the sound of his steps fade away
He reminds me of the sunset
How I wish he would have stayed
A sight of a beautiful ending
Transitions to memories to my dismay
I hold these memories close to me
So I can put them on display
As I wait for him to come again
A beautiful ending on replay
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