Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Nov 2018 · 499
Birdseye View
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I built a tower, locked away my heart
Saw a chance to protect my love
All alone, a birdseye view
Deeply isolated so high above

No one will ever find it here
Want to keep it that way
Though it does get lonely
Some point during the day

Afraid to grant my heart freedom
Live a life of cautious dread
Intentions were for it to be safe
Is my concern harming it instead?
I can hide away my heart but somehow, you always find it.
Nov 2018 · 833
Unpronounced Love
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I love you so ******* much
I'm sorry it does not always show
Believe me when I tell you your touch
Means more than you will ever know
A love text
Nov 2018 · 578
Faces (Senyru)
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I think I may search
Every passing face for yours
Until my last breath
You're the person I automatically scan faces for in a crowd..
Nov 2018 · 1.6k
Self-Isolation (Senyru)
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The phone rings loudly
That noise should make me feel loved
I just feel lonely
Sometimes I just feel like I have no one to talk to because I don't want to scare them away with my craziness or  I can't trust them or I am afraid of being judged/criticized/misunderstood. So now I just don't answer it very often. I am probably one of the hardest people in the world to get ahold of... also because I sleep a lot.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You said you wanted
My heart to love you again
But it never stopped
How can I love you AGAIN if I never stopped loving you the first time?
Nov 2018 · 499
Vagrant
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Wandering this lonely terrain
Trying to escape the nightmare I live
I yearn to fly away from pain
The ghostly love you give

Trust has become a scarcity
In our darkest hour
Someone wise once told me
Solitude will grant you power

I have no one, no belongings, no home
Reduced to a vagrant without your embrace
Feet and emotions fated to roam
Until they find their purpose and place
I feel so directionless by myself
Nov 2018 · 662
Crumbling Confidence
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Made me feel beautiful
Yet sometimes hideous too
Held my confidence in your hand
It crumbled when we fell through
Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful
Nov 2018 · 591
Weeping Open-Eyed
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
There's something in the air
Sounding similar to a symphony
World sheds melodic raindrops
Look at the downpour and see

It is as if I'm hallucinating
All the tears I've ever cried
The sky my martyred substitute
Weeping loudly open-eyed
I don't write about nature much but when I do it usually ends up relating back to my feelings anyways somehow..
Nov 2018 · 650
I Made Mistakes Too
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I am sorry for the pain I put you through
The shame you bottle deep down
Though you have only yourself to blame
For why I am no longer around

Yet I feel guilt within
Should've held on a little longer
Promised I'd never leave you a thousand times
I thought our love was stronger

I learned nothing is what it appears
Not feelings or words trusted the most
Let the illusions fall one by one
As they crash I am forced to watch up close

You do not care how it makes me feel
To be neglected again and again
And endlessly stabbed in the heart
By the one I consider my best friend

Hoping to be more than a backup plan
You are cruel and careless sometimes
Sunshine warning heart's together
I can't compete with how radiant it shines

All I desired was to light up your world
Be better like you don't deserve
Lying to myself, I claim I tried
Over and over exasperation stabs each nerve

Dissatisfied with abilities
I resent you, myself, and all I'm not
Trying harder to accept flaws
Failure masks the good traits we've got

I'm a hopeless romantic
Painted the sky a false shade of blue
This is to let you know I'm sorry
It is not all your fault, I made mistakes too
There are two sides to every story
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You know I dream of you almost every night
If you stay I promise I'll try to get it right
You might weigh too much for me to catch you when you fall
I will do my best to stand beside you through it all

I never thought anyone would really understand me
You've uncovered everything I've kept inside slowly
See a future brighter now that I have you
And the sun, moon, and stars are shining brighter too

You give reasons to smile and enjoy the life I live
Now I have a light that I can share and give
Owe to you all I have to show
I swear I won't be the one to let go
Just say you won't let go
Nov 2018 · 2.5k
At Peace Inside
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The one thing I cannot comprehend
In life continually questioned
Why I lack the strength to succeed
When told I have the tools I need

I'm wandering present desires
Mind lost yet never tires
Wondering what is out there to find
Path overgrown, leaving feet blind

So the day I find the inner compass I seek
Explore areas before was too weak
Breathe and know why I'm alive
I will finally be at peace inside
Why am I so far behind everyone else my age in life?
Nov 2018 · 1.8k
Lost Feelings
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Why can't I find the flames that once burned beneath skin?
Changed from warm to cold and dark
Reality's breath blew out the fire deep in me
Transformed my core into coals black, chalky, and dark


Attempting to force a glimmer of hope in my eyes
Ignite carefree wonder with a spark of belief
Then I could be unharnessed and rile passion
That scalds any unwanted lingering grief

Beyond these pages is genuine pain
Still alive though my heart won't beat
A hundred perfect words could not replace
Sought-after inferno, world devoid of heat

Head hung low in debilitating  failure
Dragging feet with purposeful defiance
Mistakes resting their weight on my back
Hunt for embers in half-hearted compliance

One candle lit to awaken misplaced zeal
Eternity tried silently stealing away
Sunset has the right shades of Orange and red
But lacks love it used to invoke each day

I am overanalyzing this
Eventually find the ecstasy that died
Don't care if It's a person, place, or idea
Something out there will rekindle lost feelings inside
I am currently at the start of an arduous journey of self-discovery and the first step is to figure out what I need to be happy
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
Instigator
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You are poking at my sore spots
Causing them to redden and swell
Leaving bruises upon ego
Due to show-and-tell

Tear at my facade
Standing there in victory
Watching as I fall down
Laughing while I scramble frantically

I'm screaming at you to stop
In an angry fog
Still love you even full of rage
When you won't say you're wrong

Arms sternly crossed, grow furrowed
Somehow caused me to react
Trapped within the spotlight
Wanting to exit your "concerned" act

Maybe I am just bitter because
You pretend like you care
But really take pleasure in
Exposing secrets stripped bare

It kills my pride to be embarrassed
Here you are mocking
Use my pain for satisfaction
False statements I try blocking

Your voice relentlessly cutting through
Dripping mean drops of bitter defeat
Eyes filled to the brim with resentment
The reason I flee on my feet

Although you are talking out of your ***
I know you don't intend any harm
You just love spreading propaganda
Masking wickedness with charm

Some opinions best left unspoken
Truth lies in your voice
You don't care enough to sort it out
Collect bits of conversation, share It, rejoice

Am I too sensitive, moody, and soft?
Experience should have made me strong
Losses only thinned armor
Eroded by countless decisions wrong

Caught in an infinite power struggle
You fight logic with exaggeration
I've surrendered, white flag waved
A soldier of your own creation

Go stir the *** again
That taunting tone I hate
I love you mom, tell me why
You have to instigate
It's hard to explain instigation in words but I gave my best shot
Nov 2018 · 328
Contradiction
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Tell me I'm beautiful
Then tell a lie
Hug me with need
Before you make me cry

Kiss me with passion
Then cut me down
Love you for everything you are
You are tired of having me around

Heart is sore from fighting
Morning, noon, nightfall
Wish I stood my ground
To you I once more crawl

Peace of mind or a piece of mine?
A place to run to or away from?
Hoping to experience love again
Instead looks like I'm going numb

With the scars upon my heart
See me almost exactly the same
Why can't you always make me feel beautiful?
Instead of feeling constant pain
How many times have you been called beautiful by someone who eventually made you feel ugly?
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You do not miss me
A painful fact which only
Makes me miss you more
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
I cannot stand who I've become
Cannot stand my own reflection
This person I view in the mirror
With no grasp of time or direction

Expectation destroying tender brain
Watching it chase thoughts around
Want to corrall the wayward beasts
To some corner to never be found

Time keeps doing *****
Throwing me place to place
I attempt to assert dominance
It responds by quickening pace

Fearing not the days passing
But my use of how many given
Not for lack of trying you see
I work hard but most days aren't worth living

My arms too weak to carry this load
My dreams too disobedient
Walls are whispering to eachother
Starting to question my sanity and sense

I cannot see my image clearly
Behold no beauty in my eyes
Pacing through flaws as I please
Every night escape with highs

Struggling to remember who I was before
Lost important parts of my soul
Wish I had done things differently
I'd sacrifice all I own to again be whole
I look at myself in the mirror and can't help but think I'm the worst version of myself I could possibly be
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Being around you makes me happy
It also makes me sad
In the shadow of indecision
Burned both hearts bad

Deeply scorched scornful words
Into space inside your tender chest
My head cluttered, no room to think
Strong arms where my fears are pressed

I hope you will be okay if I go
You give no reason to leave
Staying because I own no excuse
That is not how love should be
I know what being in love feels like and it isn't obligation and insecurity and feeling down all the time
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
The only time I ever smiled was with you
Your presence the sole thing able to coax out a laugh
I regret putting my happiness in your hands to hold
Now it's trapped inside a fading photograph
Don't put your happiness in anyone else's hands, they'll drop it. They'll drop it every time.
Nov 2018 · 293
Soon Enough (Haiku/Senryu)
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You will forget me
Soon enough we will see which
One of us loves more
You will forget me soon enough. But I I'll still mumble your name in my sleep.
Nov 2018 · 784
Padded Heart
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Look at the eyes in my own reflection
Young yet full of so much pain
I wear invisible armor undetectable
To keep guarded from love's aim

Padded heart is cushioned well
Securing feelings when I fall
My ears braced for the eventual goodbye
Ready to crash each time you call

My eyes prepared for the tears to flow
Deep purple bags will appear again soon
My emotions are made of glass
Worn smooth by tides pulled by the moon

Can't ******* hesitation?
Interest can be a dangerous game
Take your hand with the expectation
It will end like others, always the same

Plucking my disappointments from within
Send to a distant land
Tempted to chase after them
But how can I run if unable to stand?

I turn desire to doubt
Open doorways to uncertainty
Shut the ones with stability on the other side
Negative mind will cause you to flee

You can't say I didn't give you fair warning
What did you expect?
Closed off from the world for a reason
Built walls around my heart to protect

Hoping for the best, fearing the worst
Your infatuation appears too good to be real
Trying to stay strong but I am falling hard
Please let me know if this is how you truly feel
Sometimes I wish I was a mind-reader
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
You can hurt me in
Whichever way you please
I won't love you less
And you know that
Nov 2018 · 617
Addict
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Crave you like an addict
Miss your poisonous high
I'm happy without you or drugs
Yet I want you and I dont know why
Your love is my drug
Nov 2018 · 324
Broken
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Some are born broken
One rung in their genetic ladder twisted differently
Selfish, uncaring, and weak, among other things..
Whichever fatal flaw, their cursed souls just don't seem to be able to change
These are the people that explode like bombs
Leaving a wake of destruction everywhere they go

Some are broken by something else
One tragedy shakes them with such viciousness feelings rattle loose
Falling to the bottom of their body
Sunk somewhere dark they don't know how to reach
Once this happens, they are never the same again
Cold heartache in their guarded eyes
Regardless of how many lonely years pass

The worst broken is to he born whole
Over days and months of misery and frustrated failure
Little pieces chip away
By the chisels of surrounding people
Whether it is an unkind word spoken
A careless lie believed
An act of spite or betrayal
Even faultless unreciprocated love
Each time they are hurt or disappointed another piece is shaved off their soul
When enough goodbyes and unanswered questions have taken their share
Eventually all the goodness eroded creates a crater so big
There isn't anything real left at all
I am the last one
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Gasping for air like fish on land
Feel my heart's pace quicken
Desperate to escape mocking reality
I savor these drugs kick in

To fly a distance from here is my aim
Run far so I can start over
I am too close to unhealthy triggers
I'm losing ambition, why should I get sober?

It is not love I'm seeking out
Looking for internal happiness
Do not ask me why I'm always blue
Then tell me I must be depressed

I want to be normal, been so long
Need to defeat my addiction
Can't find the strength that used to reside
Just can't let go of this affliction

Desire the drive to be better
My mind stuck in a deep rut
Must be missing part of the formula
Just can't figure out what
It feels like I have all the pieces to the puzzle I am just too stupid or too impatient to figure out how to win.
Oct 2018 · 486
Erase Embedded Moments
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Wish I could run away from here
I am ready for an escape from lows
Hands habitually reach for your skin
I sense the danger when close

I know you are toxic and addictive
Exactly how bad you are for me
My heart always leads me back to you
With my mind it will not agree

I keep replying to your messages
They make me very sad
Showing how short of a distance we have come
In the five long years we have had

History keeps on repeating itself
The cycle is very clear
It's so hard to let go of the thing
More than anything else I hold dear

I attempt to remain your friend
We both want something more
We foolishly still pretend there's hope
To regain closeness we felt before

At times I feel strange around you
Most of the time I feel hurt
The passionate affection had for you
Buried under six feet of dirt

If I forget all the wounds you inflicted
Undo the pain I caused you to feel
We could start anew like the past never happened
Like the awful grey days wasted were not even real

The sorrowful memories persistently exist
Plaguing mind with nightmares dark
Try to erase the patient moments embedded
They will forever stay stuck in my heart
I could run away forever if I had you by my side
I can escape my problems if you match me stride for stride
Oct 2018 · 435
The Riddle That I Am
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Without you I am lost

How do I navigate winding emotions alone?
What is needed to direct my feet forward instead of backwards?
Which way is North?
How do I know without owning a compass or even a vague faded map?

Sobriety is quite a puzzling place to lose your way
I need assistance

Someone to help me solve
The riddle I have become
I am in the process of discovering my true self and it is challenging to say the least
Oct 2018 · 1.0k
Perpetual Curse
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I placed myself second
Because I placed you first
Unconditional lasting love for you
My beautiful perpetual curse

I do not like who I was with you
Used to believe each lie you told
Put up with **** near anything
Long as I had your hand to hold

Staying by your side through Heaven and Hell
We struggled with your disease
Swear my pain was even greater than your own
Begged you to stop down on my knees

I asked how I could help you up
Held me and said "I don't know"
Promised with my hand on your chest
To never give up or let go

I won't let you know how deep it cut
To break the vow I strained to keep
How could I stay and watch us **** ourselves?
When I woke up and you were still asleep?

Sacrificed so much for you
Begging one time you'd realize
I CHOSE to walk behind your shapeless shadow
Knowing destination was destined to be my demise

I wish I had not of trusted you
The one that was not supposed to harm
Wish I could trap naivete
Before you held my foolish dreams in your arms

I long for joy I felt when we were new
As our corpses deteriorate
I am now aware of the hazard loving is
Your heart hangs on my happiness, a very heavy weight
I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss.
Oct 2018 · 539
Spare Parts (Haiku/Senyru)
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I hope you have made
Good use of the pieces and
Parts you took from me
Do you miss me? Because I miss all the parts of myself I gave up to be with you.
Oct 2018 · 589
Mask
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I am underneath this mask I've made
Down below the smile shown
World within is stony and dim
Think you know how it feels to be alone?

Take my place for a single day
You will realize your life is sweet
There's always effects from mistakes repeated
You have a house to ease your feet.

Breathe me slow, inhale my thoughts
Only I could invade your mind
Occupy another brain for a brief stay
Enough time to leave battles fought behind.

There is no escape from this pain
Don't know  what to say when friends ask
Continue to carry on like I'm okay
Hiding beneath my delicate careful mask.
It's hard to be real when fake is all you know..
Oct 2018 · 638
Sermon Written In The Sound
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
When gone what will my days amount to?
I can be caring yet conceited
But always remained loyal and true,
I somehow ended up lonely and defeated.

I do not pray to a whimsical God,
When I sing I bow my head,
Stumble in a temple or church,
Cannot see the light, worship music instead.

Seems the thing I idolize,
The only solace I've found still innocent,
As I lose myself in the lyrics and bars,
Fear gives way to reassurance; heaven-sent.

In melodies shown the only safety I trust,
For notes and words will continue to resound,
Though miles away from the nearest pew
Headphones become an altar, sermon written in song's sound.
Music is the only thing I worship
Oct 2018 · 525
Disappearing Wall
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Staying up late each anxious night
Wishing you had not given in to heartache
The choice to split technically mine
It was one you forced me to make

You provided no better options
Back pressed against a disappearing wall
The thing keeping me upright through problems
Cracked skeleton hardly holding weight at all

I know I am weak, words paper-thin
Sit here stuck in the same position
Nothing to improve the frustrated state I'm in
My mind rummaging for proper recognition

Plans made are crumbling to dust
Flames dance around, we are running out of air
Hearts racing, to win we both think we must,
Wondering which is the tortoise and which the hare

Games we play but not enjoy
Again and again use my heart as a toy
Each endless night I lie awake
Staring at the ceiling retracing mistakes

Collapse like a deflated lung
Fated to gasp for more air
Throat hoarse from sad songs sung
Past pain shouting "Please beware!"

I found the same outcome too many times
In patterns we are destined to repeat
Yet I still walk identical lines
Straight into the familiar defeat
If you always do what you've always done you'll always get what you've always gotten
Oct 2018 · 177
How Do I Forgive Myself?
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Could I forgive myself
If an accident were to happen?
Lines dividing right from wrong
Become blurry, overlapping.

On one hand is it really my place to make
The choice you're too weak to make on your own?
Can I break your heart with such ease
Then leave your pieces alone?

On the other hand I feel responsible
For your life, happiness, And well-being
Not adding positivity, we spiral down
It is for your sake I'm fleeing.

I am not running away out of fear
Never attempted a feat so brave
Saying goodbye is the most dreadful thing done yet
Hurt you because pain is what you need to be saved.
I know i have no right to tell you what is and isn't good for you but it seems this relationship isn't healthy for ME any longer as well as you. Even if you can't see it, I can.
Oct 2018 · 908
Tired
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I'm simply two dozen spins around the sun
Empty shadow among the crowd
With a broken spirit, wounded heart
Beautiful hesitant head is bowed.

I bring tragedies to comforting nightfall
Stories cling to my chest
Longing to connect, afraid to trust at all
Tired but sleep refuses to give rest.
When you're so tired you can't sleep hahaha
Oct 2018 · 777
Painful Pricking Honesties
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I am not sure how to say this
Without tearing your heart out
Feelings have been growing
Rosebuds finally reaching my mouth

Kept them buried deep down under
Surface of my skin
Denying obvious truth to guard
Your heart from budding thoughts housed within

Began sprouting from the soil
First one then 2, 3, and 4
When I look at you I can't help but think
"We aren't working anymore"

Dozens of roses fill my mouth
Every petal sprouting from regret
Scented scarlet drops blocking airway
Posing to my life a threat

Leaves of guilt suffocating
My throat chafed and raw
Invasive flowers stretching towards freedom
Bursting out my now-broken jaw

Hate myself for doing this for you
Plucking each seedling from my skull
Transplanting them to your garden
Until head is no longer full

Seeds of truth are your burden to bear
For your wilting heart I am to blame
I planted love then roots strangled your soul
Yet I covered in dirt just the same

Water blooms or let them either
The choice no longer mine
I'm attempting to recover from
The damage inflicted by weeds inside

Tongue is strewn with gashes
Bleeding sin and hopelessness
Thorns so sharp perforating
The walls enclosing empty chest

Bestow to you this rosebush
I hate to cut you this way
With painful perfect honesties
To nurture and grow your own bouquet
Some thoughts start as small weeds but grow into massive fields
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
One Part I Won't Miss
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I miss your beautiful blue eyes
Your sweet addictive kiss
The pain and sadness of loving your broken soul
Is one part of you I will never miss
I think it's important to realize you can miss something and not want it back
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
Faceless
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I know you do not need me
Act like you care
Inside I see you are broken
Pain so great can hardly bear

I give what relief I can
Need you to take it from my lips
Memory wraps me in a blanket of peace
Soft like your fingertips

Find myself discovering
In my thoughts signs I couldn't read
Truth I tried so hard to figure out
All along hidden in front of me

Be honest and joy will come to you
Able to accept flaws and mistakes
The sooner you will succeed if you do
Have to dig deep whatever it takes

I wonder if you've forgotten the facts
Showing who you really are
It comes naturally to you
Dishonesty is masked with charm

No chance of falling for your facade
Done that many times with you
You crossed a line, our trust broke
When I see you I see the pain you put me through

Do not think compliments and affection
Will magically vanquish the past
Are words all you think it takes to win?
Come on, you can work harder than that

Starting to see you're faceless
Shifting shape from head to toe
Will you stop deceiving all who gaze?
Are you satisfied living out a show?
Round and around we go
You're living your life but it's only a show
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
For Tay
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Thoughts of you strike at all hours
Matching memories to mixed emotions
Handsome haunting face appears
Persistent flames burn me with devotion
Inspired inside by inviting eyes
Powerful enough to lock in a gaze
Makes me want to hide within your aura
In a place far from here, get lost in a gaze
Been living a fairytale
Loving through day, all through the night
Evident by how we remove each others clothes
Want you to be the only one who gets to hold me tight
If you are wrapped up next to me in sheets
I look forward to each play-filled day
I can honestly say I am happy with life
If it lasts only a short while that's still okay
Time spent with your hands on my hips
Worth any amount of pain to come
Feelings you rile  within my heart
I will treasure no matter the outcome
I will never forget how your hot breath felt
Tickling my pale exposed neck
Each murmur captured in my brain
Stored in an internal tape deck
Precious moments run around my head
Lips throbbing to touch once more
I will love you until the day I take my last breath
Til the second my still cold body hits the floor
I wrote this for my (ex) boyfriend's birthday not knowing we were going to break-up so soon. He turned 25 Oct 7th, and we may not be together but I still wanted to share because we are friends still. This one is just for you Taylor.
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
How come all my best and worst nights
Lead straight to you?
Impacting every moment had
With small things you do.

You have stood behind me proud as I
Won or lost battles and fought wars
Made special memories brighter
Just calling me yours.

You've also been the reason
I've been tempted by suicide
You've witnessed darkest parts
My worst and stayed by my side.

You've taught the most painful lessons
But also showed beauty they hold
Warmed long Winter days
Struck my heart with touch so cold.

You have been the villian of my story
Far more than hero
Brought me higher than birds fly
Then right back to zero.

Some of the best nights had
Happened solely thanks to you
You made good days great
Better than you knew.

Although you have bestowed infinite pain
Hurt me in ways I knew not existed
I adore the hand holding the knife
You buried in my back and twisted.

How are you my favorite person
When I hate the things you have done?
You are soulmate, colleague, enemy, lover,
Rival, best friend, partner, foe, all rolled into one.
Both my best dreams and worst nightmares involve the same people?
Oct 2018 · 404
Perfect Intrusion
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
You were every fantasy I imagined
Inside my head, perfect intrusion
Don't want to lose these childish hopes
Can't hold a man who's an illusion.

Let me sleep, be at peace
Worry will come when I wake
Contol over urges is weak at best
Drawn to the people who bring me heartache.

Of the dreams I've sacrificed
The hardest to lose is the future we planned
Promised myself I'd mature and grow
Reasons took time to understand.

What happened to nightly conversations?
Once was my favorite part of each day
My heart torn in two directions
I foresee danger either way.

How do I choose which way to head?
Stuck thoughts which cost me sleep
Try to stop them with mental blocks
Over the hurdles hours leap.

Feels like you're always lurking in the shadows
Where your memory burns like fire
In false promises identity is revealed
Lost in a maze of sweet desire.

The human in front of me
Does not match the image in my mind
Seems you've grown roots hidden in my brain
Not as simple as it sounds to leave you behind.
Erasing someone from your life is one thing. Erasing someone from your heart is a different story.
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
She looked pretty even when crying
Gorgeous when she flashed a smile
She was the most beautiful
When dancing free and wild
Not really about anyone in particular...
Oct 2018 · 2.5k
I Dream Of Forgetting
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
We go deeper than we realize
Memory of us bleeding pictures heavy
Endure a number of slices from words
To assure us we are very unsteady

My soul has not stopped shaking since
You set off the earthquake that destroyed
Any defenses in okay shape
Your ripples I tried to avoid

Is it wrong to say I wish we'd never become
Friends so I would not get caught in your net
Let you entice me with flattery
Today my feet aren't getting wet

Crumbling but cannot show cracks
Taking measures so you won't decode
The variety of contradicting statements
I eagerly continue to unload

Leftovers of our romance
Strange and out of place
Feels like we are actors
Or athletes in a race

Despite the villian you see me as
I am hurting beneath my skin
Do what you like with lonely days
Jealousy predestined to creep in

Poetry too honest for you
Been a critic at best
I have found negativity can motivate
Claimed strength put to test

See you and I struggle as well
You run, catch up to my heels
There's no way you can match my pace
Tired, I let you control the steering wheel

Know exactly the right buttons to press
Tempers over edge when we fought
Dream of forgetting your incredible name
In reality mind for some reason will not
I can't get you out of my mind even after all this time maybe i should have waited longer before we separated but i made a rushed decision on your heart left an incision, im now haunted by regret and memories i cant forget, maybe there's a reason my heart won't set you free, is it possible somehow we are still meant tto be?
Oct 2018 · 384
I Am Leaving Tonight
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Tell me what you expected
All the stress became too much
I thought I was strong enough to handle
Sadness breaking when we touch

The memories are tainted now
Frame after frame, pictures taken
Showing same smiles we've always had
But looking back pain awakens

Can't help but pick apart each scene
Stare at our frozen expressions
Trying to figure what really went on
After burning fateful make-out sessions

I guess I will never know
Probably less agony that way
Think I rub salt into my own wounds
Reopen them every dreaded day

Haven't I suffered enough?
Accepted much heartache at your hand?
Never thought we would be here today
I don't expect you to understand

It was my fault you thought I wouldn't leave
Allowed you to push me aside, disjoint
Of course you were sure I'd stay forever
But each person has a breaking point
I never thought I would reach mine
Oct 2018 · 400
Hurts Like Hell
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Love you but it hurts like Hell
To see what I do to you
Since the moment we met it seems
Your life has crumbled, fallen through.

Can tell you don't want to blame me
For problems that have risen
What other explanation is there
How we ended up in this position?

Not sure where I led you astray
But amidst dazed conversations
We got lost, wandered off the path
Into a forest of fazing situations.

One catastrophe after the next
Round in circles we run
Lightning strikes, vengeance proud
Each time we think we are done.

Don't know what I did to cause
Pause in progress to your goals
You are falling in *****-traps
Don't remember digging any holes.

Careless steps have consequences
Put fences in your tracks
Unwittingly tackled defenses
Attacks leaving dents on your back.

My smile is weapon of choice
Clearly broken but bear arms
Friends don't think I possess enough strength
My blows do not cause you harm.

Once upon a time we had magic
Holding onto lovestruck days
Holding something quickly fading
Chilled fingertips can hardly graze.

Doubt haunts my every move
Cools the fire which burned so strong
Instinct telling me to run
The picture before me is wrong.

Misguided, confused, questioning everything
More hopeless each troubling day
Broken, insecure, misery loves company
Will I stop painting your skies grey?

I failed in so many inconsiderate ways
A destroyer of all things good
In this prison I know as my life
Regretting decisions I should.

See you stumble on my flaws
Don't know why you stay with me
Think of how much I've  worsened your world
Our future black with all we can't be.
:I don't know how to change for the better it is just so difficult sometimes
Oct 2018 · 2.3k
Dungeon
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I am feeling lower than ever before
In my head I hold leaden weights
Think I need professional help
Emotions ignored become hard to navigate

Push down pain a little longer
Numb wounds for awhile
Gulp lumps of uneasiness
Conceal misery with a phony smile

Heart broken and bleeding
Hidden from all who look
I have mastered the art of composure
Face an unreadable book

Quiet night is tense and dim
Begging me to sneak off and play
Think I might cave in this one time
I'm scared I won't be able to get away

Under covers I hide in bed
Hoping I will not be found
By weakness and uncertainty
I lay motionless without sound

Trying to sort my issues
Organization isn't really my thing
Prefer to shove difficult subjects in a box
Lock out of sight so I can avoid the sting

Discovered something dull inside me
I found a tool sharper for out
Condemned the skin once considered home
It is easier to not think about

I'm told intensity only worsens with time
A smile hideously glued
Energetic as dying muscles will allow
Wild heart now meek and subdued

Memories will not depart
Echoes of voices loved then lost
Brighter still, rotating faces
Seasons changing sunlight to frost

My head has become a dark dungeon
Trapped there with my dirtiest sins
Watching mistakes as they rattle rusted bars
Capturing worst thoughts caged within
Sometimes my head is a quiet empty house painted white and others it is a crowded prison, dimly lit, dingy, filthy and loud.
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
I carry caution with your many compliments
In my center grows cool hesitation
My heart has turned bitter and cold for protection
A solitary sorrow circles my soul in rotation

Hope you take necessary steps
Better yourself and circumstances
Quit stirring up problems voluntarily
Expecting endless charity and chances

I am jaded, your mask is lifted
Now I wish to be blind once more
I've shed the ignorance keeping my joy in
Since I peeled it off can't be happy anymore
Ignorance really is bliss...
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
In my bed counting
Lost hours wasted with you
No sheep and no sleep
I think I spelled that right
Amanda Kay Burke Oct 2018
Someday you will love someone other than me
You will love this girl even more
Each part of her body will hold greater beauty
Fills me with sadness to my core

The way we shared our dearest thoughts
The wonderful lazy days spent
How you always supported my goals
Those things you will forget

A new face will replace mine in your heart
It is quite tragic to bear that thought
Guess I'm unable to comprehend the idea
Of one day being nothing but an ex you forgot

Sad because I know the truth
Feeling down for many reasons
The prize I worked my *** of for is out of reach
Your adoration fading with the seasons

Wonder what your next partner will be like
Will she wear similar type of clothes?
Are those hands going to touch the same parts I have felt?
Only future knows I suppose

Hear you're having trouble moving on
I am too, never thought I would be the one to sever
One thing I promise to you my love
You will not stay lonely forever
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.
Next page