We fell in love, life was perfect for awhile,
Each touch was concentrated sunlight,
We'd kiss, I'd taste whichever flavor
***** we drank earlier that night.

Turned to you, I needed a friend,
Called to vent every day,
Time passed by us swiftly,
Had my heart, things finally felt okay.

Was the perfect romance for awhile
But as the summers and winters went by
Began to notice the thick haze we lived in,
Something different in your eyes.

Didn't know what was amiss,
Keep me waiting up all night,
Though I wasn't sure exactly what it was
Knew you were hiding something out of sight.

Uncovered more and more incessant lies,
Started small then grew, neverending,
We sadly floated further apart
With each secret text you were sending.

Was obvious there was someone else,
She took all of your time,
I figured you were buying her lots of gifts
Because you never seemed to have a dime.

Truth is, it was painfully clear,
Should have seen it at the start,
I was not the only one
Owning a piece of your heart.

The day I finally discovered who she was,
Identity of your seductive sin,
Is the day our world changed forever,
Your mistresses name was ******.

I do not know what to say
To help you understand
You're the only guy I'd ever
Want to hold my faithful hand

I don't know what words to use
To make you amply see
You mean so much more
Than any other thing does to me

I cannot explain what you do to me
It's beyond the realm of what words can say
But despite the scary mystery
Would not want it another way

You are the answer to my prayers
Clique as this poem may sound
I never understood sappy quotes before
You flipped my life upside-down

Touched me and I realized
You were my destined counterpart
And that my world would never be the same
Forever you've altered my mind and my heart

Gaze upon your sleeping figure
Wonder where I went wrong
How can I love you so deeply
If in your arms I don't belong?

How come goosebumps rise
When I hear or think of your name
Yet with your face inches away from mine
Our love just doesn't feel the same?

How can my eyes look and see
Perfection from bottom to top
But feel magnetic attraction fading
Powerless to make it stop?

How can I rely on you for such
An enormous portion of my happiness
If every token of generosity
Makes me worth less and less?

How is every sincere compliment able
To spill from your mouth true and clear
When we are both aware you deserve better?
I don't match the adjectives poured in my ear.

How did our easy conversation
Turn to spontaneous spiteful fight?
Understanding somehow replaced with animosity
At least we still share words late into the night.

How can I be chilled by a trace of fear
Tagging along with excitement up my spine?
How is darkness tainting all we know
Yet one touch from you and I'm fine?

How am I able to hate part of you
While loving the rest with all my heart?
How am I distant when you are around
Then miss you very much when we're apart?

How can my brain worship your image
After the extensive damage you've done?
If you cause me to to feel my absolute lowest
How could I still believe you are the one?

Lay beside your body wishing
To be close like we were before
How can I yearn so strongly for your embrace
If we don't feel right anymore?

Awakens to a new day like thousands before
Gone from sight, searches for hope
On the cold dirt she solemnly walks
No trace of possibility in her scope.

"Are you okay?" I long to ask her
Easily seeing she is everything but
Each inch of her body quivers
Lights are off, her heart is shut.

A complex cavern of misunderstanding
Sensory overload dreaded routine
Treacherous image none bothered to question
Screaming child stuck in an eternal daydream.

Starlight mimicking a faint compass
Guiding through the map surrounding
The world gives conflicting directions
Lost in the atlas, heartbeat starts pounding.

Putting trust in uneven difficult terrain
She drags her broken spirit along
A replica of the beauty she once captured
Her touch gentle, bravery strong.

Tossed by foamy waves
In the streets, out at sea
Tired and hungry, long ago spit out
After being chewed by cruel society.

Down and out, no longer expecting
The universe to show any remorse
Bearing her misery alone in the chaos
Oblivion the destination marking the end of her course.

Living for your twisted amusement
I am taking risk after risk
To be friends like I promised
Help you find happiness

When I was your girl that seemed simple
Had it figured out
Life took the things I knew about you
Replaced them with a load of doubt

It all happened within my reach
I was too slow to turn the tides
Losing all I clutched close to my heart
When I wouldn't loosen my grip time pried

Those who predicted our demise
Lifted their gaze to point and laugh
In that position I realized something
I was meant to grow from this mishap

It was a part of my journey
The truth was made openly clear
Dark clouds loomed over  sweet perfection
Horizon no longer smudged by denial and fear

Senses aren't functioning very well
In the center of your games
This place I recognize without hesitation
I sit and strategize methods to break the chains

There is no hand to conquer
Though this chess match was fun
I've learned you never play fair
You just cheat and cheat until you've won

I am waiting for the moment when
You finally look at me and say
"I'm sorry I have to do this to you
But we both know I can't stay"

After all that we've been through
You would convince me that you had to go
I'd watch you walk out of my life before
I had a chance to whisper "No"

I am wondering if this fantasy
Will unfold as it does in my head
If someday I'll wake up and find
A crumpled note and empty bed

Each morning the first thing I do
Is roll over to check your presence and stare
Because even the strongest, most euphoric high fades
One day I'll open my eyes and you won't be there

Memory is an anchor
Dragging down my heart
This weight is slowly sinking me
I'm just not ready to part

Though you have me aswoon
I feel to you burdensome
Afraid that by the next full moon
A hindrance is what I will become

My hands are heavy, head is hung
Ego has severely shrunk
I know that in your eyes I appear young
That's why my confidence sunk

Compared to you I am immature
Always angry, blowing up
It is not your fault I'm insecure
So I get why you're contemplating a break-up

From now on I will get up earlier
Try to be more like you
If you promise you'll stay forever
I will do whatever you want me to

Words are echoing throughout my bones
A steel casing around each one
You stung me with your poison, now I can't breathe on my own
Windpipe broken, damage to lungs done.

Pain through every tissue fiber seeps
Anguish flooding narrow veins
Insults scratch so very deep
Consume thoughts within my brain.

Anger and frustration take over
Recognizing lack of determination
Hurtful attacks make me move slower
Lose any remaining motivation.

To be honest I do not care as much
Present in body, not in mind
It is truly unfair for me to tightly clutch
Fading love I'm unable to leave behind.

Think I understand more than you give me credit for
Faces constantly changing, where is the one I adore?
Hands and heart try to hold you in the same place
Make you warm again, your fire I cannot replace
Hunger you selfishly follow around
Has you chasing heated urges, areas unfound
Hear you talk but never speak
The shivers say unspoken needs so weak
I love when you need my protection
You hate it, build a wall to guard imperfection
Abruptly attempting to cover up flaws
Our bodies fail, your effort has earned applause
It is too early to end the show you started
But beauty can be discovered in what's departed
I'd attempt one last time to say farewell if I were you
In cold weather lose words to feelings so blue
Locked in the past by mistakes you keep making
They've added up, now you're broken, aching
Time will repair, but can never rewind
Find strength to leave beloved memories behind
Your body may be a ****** battleground
Don't have to hide it when it's just me around
Wonder if you hide from my sight or your own
I dream of glimpsing the guilt and shame unknown
We both harbor a large reserve of regrets
Not totally hating eachother as good as it gets
Which one of us will come to our senses first?
I gave you my best, you treated me the worst
Like many others have done
You made me cry, used me for your fun
The thought of letting you do it again
Makes my blood cold as I write with my pen
Frozen, alone, you haven't moved, you won't try
Still in the exact spot I left you in, explain why
Leaving embarrassing defeats behind in the past
Is your only hope for a change that will last
Underneath layers of denial lurks hidden sin
Evidence laid out like a map on your skin
I offer a different path but you decline
On a bed of risky routine you'd rather recline
Perfect lips yet your words don't sound right anymore
Try to shut my ears but some itches I can't ignore
Vivid colors surrounding are not as vibrant now
My heart still hopes we'll end up together somehow
Each moment without our souls intertwined
Has been nothing but dark, your absence leaves me blind
Pain touches each and every emotion I feel
Beginning to realize some injuries don't heal
My heart cut open, love bleeding out
Want to believe, instead filled with doubt
The longer we linger, drag this on
Worse it will feel when we realize it's gone
I'm chasing laughter, stalked by fear
Running after closeness that no longer lives here
All the wrongs you hid so desperately from me
Too late to reverse and do things differently
Shut me out of your life when the only thing I ever wanted
Was to be next to you facing demons you alone confronted.

If you only understood how dear you are to me
How much I've discovered about the world
You could show me it jn reality
Slowly explore sure planet earth as it twirls

Distant corners in tucked places
Because I need to escape
If have you close instead of blank spaces
Can hide in the feelings taking shape.

Fear growing into hope
This may be what I have waited for
All that time I couldn't cope
And the nights spent crying on the floor

Love you for taking all that away
Emotions I couldn't erase on my own
You helped tear apart dismay
Made sure I didn't fight demons alone

You are there to lead without question
Willingly sacrificing your hand
Many times pulled out of depression
Supported two legs until they could stand

Rainfall pours down heavier now
Swirling and spinning in wet assault
To you surrender, my head bowed
Journeys diverging and it is my fault

Thank you for lovely time shared together
Our paths will always intersect
I'm grateful you threw to me a line
For our two hearts to connect

The colors in your galaxy
Fade, in your arms become blurred
Tonight the first page of our story
Presence told without one word

Hate that I miss you
You are not here with me
This is the way
Life isn't supposed to be

I wish I could tell you
How I want to run
Away from the darkness
And things come undone

You do not know how much it hurts
To hear words you say
Deep inside still knowing
It won't be okay

Scenery flies by so fast
Lifeless, dull, and grey
Memories come rushing back
Wish they would just go away

Hate that I still want you
I need to move on
It's so hard to accept the fact
That you are just...
Gone.

It was your name stuck behind my lips
Falling in love before I knew what it was
Head drowning in daydreams of us together
Around you always had a natural buzz

Every fluid intoxicating second
Soaked up like alcohol
Words; drops of wine so sweet
Love, anguish, pain; drank them all

Tears like condensation appeared
In corners of your eyes
Tumbling talking temporarily blurred
Color to your face did rise

Days passed, feelings grew stronger
Lack of communication had me scared
Space between too thick to break through
My mind still enraptured,unprepared

Until filled with different thoughts
Filled with images of someone else's face
I'll sabotage emotions as they form
A world of memories I will eventually replace

What are you running away from?
Some secret buried deep?
You doubt your talent and abilities,
Dreams you don't bother to keep.

Can't face answers to questions,
You resort to the place in your mind,
Where life is always happy and good,
A fantasy you repeat and rewind.

You were not born a deceiver,
Tragedy has made you that way,
After years suffering alone,
Learned to hide demons away.

Now they follow everywhere,
Eyes dizzy from keeping track,
Bullet holes in your beauty,
In your heart, on your back.

Waking up though we don't want to,
Walls mock what you have become,
Inside prison you chose to inhabit,
What are you running away from?

You were worth the suffering
You aren't anymore
Now these ****** up feelings
Have my heart bruised and sore

Our relationship lies in shambles
I guess I'm to blame
My mistakes have done damage
Things will never be the same

I say words I cannot take back
Ones that cut deep
I am sorry for harsh truths, selfish lies
Promises I failed to keep

I can repair some of what I broke
Not all wrongs can be made right
We put the past behind us
Doesn't mean you're alright

Just because you do not let me see you cry
Does not mean you shed no tears
Beneath your beautiful imperfection
Vision is altered by halting fears

The thought you knew is blurred
Cannot help but look at me differently
Not every single wrinkle in our relationship
Can be smoothed over with an apology

Used to have your trust and respect
You have taken both of them back
Now you stare at me with the same expression
As that of an amnesiac

Is there a road we can take to get back
To the paradise we were at before?
You say I am the only one you want
We both know you deserve more

Love is like a rose?
I would have to disagree,
What of endless love?
For him, and him for she?

Too soon roses die,
Wilt, wither, and fade away,
True unceasing love despite
The climate will stay.

What of thorns, danger near?
Love rises up and conquers all,
While petals slowly drift to the ground
One by one quietly fall.

Petty roses cannot compare,
To beauty of two hearts
No matter how far away
Never stop beating or grow apart.

Soft red color is dull in comparison
To a lover's sheepish blush
Jumping out against pale skin,
Vivid, vital, vibrant blood-rush.

If love is like a rose
A pathetic world this be,
Flowers don't stand a chance
When put to shame by we.

I do not know why I miss you
After the pain you caused my heart
Or why I love you so much when it's obvious
We are clearly better apart

I cannot ever fight my demons
Each cell in my body has given up already
Now I'm stuck with no ambition
I cried so much I'm unsteady

I should have listened to your words
Worried warnings gone to waste
Although I appreciate the love
Let tears teach lessons on my face

Hurt and doubt revealed on my face
I recall bad memories in distaste
I remember hate in your expression
Your rage fueled my own aggression

This place coated with memories
Clocks are stopped and won't unfreeze
Hands endlessly stuck, seconds stand still
Beg them to move but do not think they will

Tell me how to bridge the gap
Separating you and I before we snap
Give everything I have to you
It is nothing compared to what you do

Problem is you still expect more
Feelings are different in my core
Trying to restore the glow obviously lost
How we once melted eachothers frost

I want more time to throw away
Do you still long for my presence each day?
As much as I would love to stay, I'm unsure
I selfishly want to but I'm frightened you'll get burned

Forceful ocean storm rages out of control
Behind eyes a tortured soul
It's sad to sit down and do the math
Discover we are fractions, less than 1/2s

Familiar smile I yearn to see
Share with someone better than me
Strange to think back when we met
Had no idea how close you'd get

Although we have encountered distress
The hard days were leading up to the best
Lately best is fading to bad
Scared bad will become the worst we've ever had

I wish you'd put as
Much effort into getting
Clean as getting dope