Look at the eyes in my own reflection
Young yet full of so much pain
I wear invisible armor undetectable
To keep guarded from love's aim
Padded heart is cushioned well
Securing feelings when I fall
My ears braced for the eventual goodbye
Ready to crash each time you call
My eyes prepared for the tears to flow
Deep purple bags will appear again soon
My emotions are made of glass
Worn smooth by tides pulled by the moon
Can't ******* hesitation?
Interest can be a dangerous game
Take your hand with the expectation
It will end like others, always the same
Plucking my disappointments from within
Send to a distant land
Tempted to chase after them
But how can I run if unable to stand?
I turn desire to doubt
Open doorways to uncertainty
Shut the ones with stability on the other side
Negative mind will cause you to flee
You can't say I didn't give you fair warning
What did you expect?
Closed off from the world for a reason
Built walls around my heart to protect
Hoping for the best, fearing the worst
Your infatuation appears too good to be real
Trying to stay strong but I am falling hard
Please let me know if this is how you truly feel
Sometimes I wish I was a mind-reader
lock me in a building
a room, if you will
padded ****-me walls
to terrorize my mind
and, most importantly,
and i wonder
are psychotic girls a good ****
7 - 12 18
A recording booth is nothing more than another padded room.
© Matthew Harlovic
White padded walls
That's what I see Day in and day out
This isn't what I wanted to be
I realize now that I'm crazy
That's why it's an insane asylum that contains me
I acted upon impulse
Not thinking of the horrifying result
I'm the outcome of a terrible tragedy that I went the wrong way about
And now without a doubt
I regret my actions
The interactions that I had without thinking twice
And now I pay the price
I was angry and they didn't deserve this
It wasn't up to me to end the life that they lived
The small child in the crib. The life for you that there could have been.
But I took that from you
And there is so much I would do to give it back
The only things that's possible to say is that I'm sorry
But sorry just won't do it. It won't make up for what I've taken from you.
All because I was angry and didn't think I could muster a smile. All the while I could've focused on what was good
But I didn't think twice and thought my sadness was yours and my mind took the wrong course
And made me think I couldn't make you happy anymore.
All I think about is the blood on the floor of your mothers and yours.
I'm sorry child. For my actions that had gone wild. The whole situation isn't right.
How could I have done this?
How could I have put you on the receiving end of the knife
When I was the one who gave you life.
— The End —