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am i supposed to cry for you?
that evil grin, your ice cold skin.
you've got me hooked on you.
how long has it been since i broke in?

your cut wrists are tied to the wall,
no fear, other than when you realized you've lost all hope.
and i smile at the sight.
no one cares if you scream at night.
your pretty grin has faded over time.
where's your battle cry?

tick tock, tick tock.
look at the clock.
reverse.
what does it say?
666, baby I'm on my way.
sorry if i'm moving too slowly for your taste.
and if you need something to help you,
feel higher than the sun,
i suggest myself.
i promise it might help.

shoot!

knock it's head clean off.
why is the television so ******* loud?
no, i can't hear a ******* sound!
the dysthymia won't turn it off!
cut it out!
i beg you.
i wish all my demons would listen to me.
fastidious.
signs of symptoms.
they all go back to you, even if you don't want them to.

your diligent ways to make me suffer.
you don't quit until i am no longer continuing to breathe.
spending all my days, reticent, hesitant.
the world would be better without me.
that's it diary.
entry, number seventeen.
basically the speaker in this song is arguing with themselves as their depression is getting worse and taking them over faster and faster.
Lucas Ennis Feb 12
Jeremiah, I'm sorry.
I've heard you are trying to ignore me.
I don't understand what I have done.
I'm sorry, I don't deserve your respect.
I'm sorry if I have ever been rude.
Honestly, you are a really cool dude.
I have respected your wishes and have stayed clean for almost 3 weeks.
But it doesn't matter, not like you'd care that I am so weak.
I hope you are happy now.
I wish you best of luck.
And do me a favor and ask Lilly out.
I ship you two so much.
Do me another favor.
Please hit me in the face.
I deserve it.
I'm such a disgrace.
I'm sorry if I have ever embarrassed you.
I hope you are okay.
I've been such a bully to you.
Please Jeremiah, don't ever leave me
Just stay <3
Just a little poem for an old? friend of mine that I treated badly.
Jaxey Feb 11
because loving you
is like trying to stargaze
on a cloudy night
I'm sorry
I didn't know you
But I could have - If I had tried
But bully PSAs and anti-suicide campaigns
Just don't work on teenagers
Who are barely making it through the day

I didn't know you
But could I have made a difference
If I had talked to you just once
Or told you how beautiful you were?
Would you have finally looked into the mirror
And saw that you were worth something?

I didn't know you
And when I found out
That a student had killed herself
I didn't know it was you at first either

But then a screenshot appeared
A face on a story with three simple words
'Rest easy Tina'

I cant say
How long it took
For your heart to stop beating
But I can tell you
How fast
Mine beat through the roof
When I saw your face on my screen

You were smiling
I'd never seen you smile before
I wonder if you would have smiled
At me
If I had just talked to you more
In class

It doesn't seem real
Does it?
A girl seen just yesterday that you wont see tomorrow

She wont be coming back

Your seat will sit empty
The desk of a dead girl
That no one dares sit in
But gradually they will forget
Eventually it will be filled
And the student who sits there
And laughs and talks
With her friends in class
Will never know of the girl who went too soon

The student who fills your desk
More than likely
Will be just like me
She will look at the girl
In the corner of the room
And she will think of the conversations
That she could have
With the pretty girl that hides behind her hair

But she will never speak to her
Too afraid to try
With a childish fear of rejection
That pinpricks her heart
She will not think
Nor will she know
About the stakes that are at risk

I hope that the girl who fills your seat
Takes a look at the girl
Who never speaks
And does not pacify her worry
With, "I'm sure she has friends"

I hope she chooses instead
To give that girl a pillow to land on
When her mental stability takes a swan dive
Or a shoulder to lean on
When life is trying to tear her down

I hope that the next kid
Who sits on their own
Day after day
And who talks to no one
Has someone sit down across from them
And strike up a conversation

About the weather
About a class they're in together
About how they noticed they were alone
About how they would like to be friends
About anything

It doesn't take much
To save a person hanging on by a thread

A small act of kindness
Can mean the world
To a person who feels
That their existence is crumbling

I didn't know you
And I will Never
Be sorry
Enough
Timber Jan 30
Brittle and crackling
bones that snap and pop
your older now
popping
snapping
breaking
someday you go
when time is okay
those bones dust away
slipping into the unknown
madison Jan 13
i dont want to admit this
every time it gets late my thoughts come back
its a comfort thing
but then it becomes a bad thing
i swallow
and i swallow
and then i cry
and i cry
i try not to consume
but it gets late and i feel lost
and i don't want to talk about it
i always feel so empty
i try to fill the space
but its getting to the point
where i want to empty it
i want nothing
you will see this. you will be concerned. you will want to text me. please not about this though. i will be okay.
I still miss your everything.
The way you made me laugh at my most stubborn moments.  
The way you smiled when I was being ******.  
Your ****** giggle when finding something funny on social media,
Immediately showing me after.
The most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen.  
The color of tigers eye, shining in the sun.  
The features of chiseled mountains that I want to lose myself inside.  
Telling me I will be okay, pushing me to do more for myself.  
Selfless love, yet selfish in all the right ways.  
I just miss you.  

I remember the distance.  
The sleepless nights, wondering if the love was still there.  
It wasnt for a long time, yet you knew that.  
You hurt me most by pretending to be present.
Like a highschooler in class, barely putting in enough effort to graduate.  
I was just a passing lesson in your life,
Although I wish I was more.
From me you learned how to love properly,
Your next will be blessed.  
You learned patience, because thats all I was able to be with you.  
You learned selflessness, I gave all I had to you (my mistake)
You learned loyalty, yet you never were to me.  
You learned consequence, of losing what you loved all along, but not being capable of keeping.  

You have yet to learn to live without me,
Seeing me with someone new.  
You dont know what its like to miss me, because your stubborn nature will tell you its weakness.  
You have yet to apologize, because you hurt me deeper than youve said sorry for.  

And although these words will never reach your beautiful tiger eyes, I will always love you.  
You ****** idiot.
José Avalos Dec 2018
Well this is my goodbye letter to the world. So today mark as 6 months with my girlfriend. But guess what? she dump me a week before we made  6 months. She told me things i didn't even know, Like cheat on me. It okay, it hurt because everything i did was my fault. I mean i'm not killing myself because of a girl. My reason are my choices in life. I could have been a better person for one. Then knowing she cheated on me and it funny because one of her friend told me it was my best friend she cheat on me with. It show my worth  because i don't believe her or my best friend. By knowing that it close my case knowing my worth. I wish things could have been better but look what i'm going to do on Christmas. I'm trying to overdose. I try last night but really woke up at 3 pm.  Other reason is no one care about me. I wish people did care but i always ruin it. She move on that quick and blame on me for replacing her. I didn't wish she knew that. Well I'm useless and worthless.  I know people say it going to get better but it really isn't it getting hard to live and wake up. I just hope people know i'm going to go to a better place.
- Jose Avalos sging out
Nisrine Marwan Dec 2018
it wasnt easy
passing you in the hallways
it wasnt easy  
watching things go on without me there
it wasnt easy
feeling alone
it wasnt easy doing what i did
but i wasnt going to ruin anything else
it still isnt easy
i see you in the halls
i see you with them being perfectly okay
i'm still alone
no one has ever really stood by me
i wish you had
void Dec 2018
currently i feel like downing my 90 day supply of fluoxetine, the 30ish days of sleep meds i have left, all my moms pills, and the hydrocodone we have left, take a bath, and slice my skin till im nothing but cuts
im not going to act on anything, i just needed it out. im sorry
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