these days are long and the seasons seem to drag
this year has me trapped beneath her grip
friends are only friends to your face
and lovers just love to use you
people only care with their words
as if i could lay my crying head against empty whispers
served slow motion hits to the chest
and taken advantage of time and time again
i've been aching for my heart to heal
anticipating a fresh bloom
and still with three more months to go?
****, it's been a long year
the last few months feel like decades
I am exhausted.
Mentally and physically
Sore to the bone
And wanting sleep.
No work for me today
No care for my grades
I just want sleep
To make this exhaustion go away.
Chest full to the brim
Waterfalls spill over
You pick up the piece
There falls another
While bending to help
I see scissors on my lover
Laid in his hands
The blood provides cover
You cut out a piece
There falls another
With tired eyes
I look to you and say
"Thanks for putting me back together".
Its hard to see that someone is pulling you apart when all you can see is them putting you back together
Tired of feeling exhausted
All the **** time.
Done feeling numb, empty
Every heartbeat void.
Well, it's legal... accessible...
It tastes pleasant...
It'll do the trick...
The kind of acceptable addiction
No need to hide
Flaunt it a bit
See if they care
Play it up
But don't forget to enjoy it, dear.
Feel your pulse in your wrists
s u r g i n g
c-c-c-c-ccount the dosage
80 mg..... 120 mg.... 300 mg..... 400 mg............
Where's that laugh been all this time?
Full of... joy....?
That smile cannot possibly be your own....
It's so....... pure.
And again here I am
Crashing from the high
My neurotic shadow.
You creep back into my mind.
I hear the whispers of your familiar voice.
It makes me want to chase a different high.
One that'll leave a mark.
Not my most eloquent work... perhaps that captures the concept better... I don't know...
Mull over the worst in my grave mind
Instill fear of an unforgiving life
Silent woes turn into dormant smiles
Each breath comes out in broken shards
Resist taking action to heal
Yearn for the day that I will be fine
I was drinking some dark coffee when I came up with this piece. (• ε •)
Waking up another day
Waiting for this month's pay
Hoping one day that I can say
All of this was worth the wait
Maybe then I'll be OK
This 9-5 is frying my mind
These Friday nights are my only lifeline
And down the pipeline are my pipe dreams
Back when life seemed just like a rainbow
Now the rain pours, where the pain goes
Now I just stay low, wait it all out
Wait out this drought, till I can shout
Money doesn't come for free
But **** I wish it came from trees
This ladder that I have to climb
It's all just a matter of time
Wondering when I'll finally strike gold
That'll be when I finally let go
I am exhausted
I am tired
I am drained
because of you
I have turned yellow and blue
from being hurt by you
At the thought of you
From my love for you
From the energy you stole
By the things we can’t control
Lying inside my bed,
floating in hell,
trying to burn my boots off
this unearthly smell
Thank you for caring about me,
but I can only hear myself
All your voices
sound like construction noises,
I'm trying to talk with the devil
Just give me a second,
I'll come back to the table,
to eat with you all,
so that life's all good and stable
I am tired of
the constant cycle of
aching and faking,
hurting and feeling,
breaking and healing,
fixing and mending,
It's like a never ending cycle,
and I am just tired.