abby 1d

And even on the days when we don't love,
I ran do it alone.

I am able to when you order food.
I am able to when you accidentally see old faces.
I am able to when you say you don't need me to anymore.

How can such a simple smile
make me feel so good inside?

© 2017 Case Coniglio
All rights reserved

What
You what
You know what

© 2017 Case Coniglio
All rights reserved

Do I have to tell you?
What you have always know to be true
I see it in your starry eyes
And I think you see it in mine

© 2017 Case Coniglio
All rights reserved
requiEM 6d

next in line I guess
I know I tried my best
But the radio silence
Rose above the rest

Your like a black hole
When I'm around you my mind goes blank
Thoughts and words escape me
I loose myself

© 2017 Case Coniglio
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Exhausted
Sleepless nights
Boundless exploration

© 2017 Case Coniglio
All rights reserved
Devan Ducasse Jul 19

When starting to date me
Please be careful
I’m very fragile and sad
And I’ll take everything to heart
I think I’m the worst
Even though I know I’m not
So don’t trust my smile when I say
“I am pretty”
I think I’m horrible
Unlovable
No matter how many friends I have
Or how many relationships I’ve gone through
I will never think you love me
Or even like me
Because you’re only putting on a facade because you know I’m sad
I know you’re pitying me
Everyone does
I dont have real friends
Boyfriends or girlfriends
They’re all just pity

So when you start to date me
Please dont be offended when I start to hide away
You’re getting close to me
And I’m scared of hurting you
You’ll give me your love
You’ll stay up late when I’m sad
You’ll get concerned when I dont answer
Because you think I finally caved into depression
But I havent
I may be thinking about it
Ways to do it
How you’ll react
But I won’t
And I’m not quite sure
And I’m sorry in advanced
Because I will hurt you
I will make you feel worthless
And useless
Because no one understands whats going on in my head
And I’m scared to tell you whats going on in my head

So when you start to date me
You’ll be dating my mental illnesses too
They control my mind and how I think
Even when I know they’re wrong
They’re always right
Understand that I am trying
Even when I’m in bed at 12 in the afternoon
Even when I havent left the house or eaten in days
I am trying to get better
I know taking my meds will help
But I hate knowing that I need medication to feel healthy
I want to feel like everyone else
I want to feel healthy and worthy
But I cant unless I take 35mg of a certain drug
I have to take drugs to feel happy
Even when I’m ‘happy’
I still want to die
I always want to die
On our first date at a restaurant
All I can think about running out into the street and getting hit

When you start to date me
Think again
Because I’m not what you get upfront
I’m not happy
I’m not sassy
Nor am I confident
I am trying to fool you into liking me
Because I know no one else can
I am following societies rules
Because I’m scared of the looks I get if I dont
On my happiest days
I will still go home and look at the pile of untaken medication
I wonder why they give medication to someone who’s suicidal
Also understand that I have planed my death 10 different times
Overdose
Stabbing
Cars
And more
I am not what you think I am
But please play along and pity me

I know it's kind of all over the place but that's what depression is, it's never straight forward.
Case Coniglio Jul 18

Can I capture that serene moment
when you first stir and slowly wake
hungry and sleepy eyes
intoxicating smile
innocence

© 2017 Case Coniglio
All rights reserved
Sal A Jul 17

I receive an average of 1 text per day.
It's usually a bill payment reminder.
I have no friends.
No, literally, none at all.

I'm on 3 dating websites,
sending 50 messages a day.
Zero replies.

I'm fit. Gym 7 days a week.
Well-groomed and clothed.
I've been called handsome.
None of that matters.

I can explain a
thermodynamic chemical equation to you.
And it'd still be easier than for me
to land a date.

I'm going to settle for a woman when I'm 40.
She'll be in her 30s, desperate to conceive.
We'll have some children but no interest in each other.
And that'll be the end of my romantic life.

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