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Apr 2021 · 54
In the evening chill
Rose Apr 2021
We grieve in different corners of this house
All plagued by the changing routine
All withering in the musky silence
Not saying what is resting over us
I don’t think we want the waterfalls tonight

But we all know that they will come
in the silence of our beds
And we’ll pull the covers tightly
Hoping this weight will be less
tomorrow
freshly squeezed sadness
Apr 2021 · 48
Grief Walker
Rose Apr 2021
We’re all fragile tonight
The smallest thing
Stings my eyes

Be strong
Be strong

We carry on tomorrow
Until it grabs us again
And we drop the vase
Cracking at the seams
But never quite breaking

The creaking and groaning
Of our souls
Curl up next to us at night
Like you did

Be strong

I scrap the walls clean
Hoping to be rid of the dust
Then cry
Because
These small pieces of you
Are gone now too

I miss you

Be strong
the loss of you is large in our hearts
Apr 2021 · 190
mezian
Rose Apr 2021
I understand it now
My heart pours out
Life flows from my soul
And wraps you in gold

You’re caught up in me
All tangled up in emotions
you’ve never unleashed
I'm a deep soul, and that brings about its own waves of trouble.
Apr 2019 · 148
softens
Rose Apr 2019
how many youthful nights have i driven away
from a town of late nights searching for hope
driving this highway with orange street lights
and yellow headlights flashing past my eyes
how many lonely drives must i endure
blasting songs too loud to drown out
my thoughts of grief for this life

the city lights glowing over water
under bridges built to connect us
when all i feel is worlds away
from a life of people that move forward
towards white picket fences
and bouncing baby’s

these drives are spent running
wishing to have enough courage
to pack up this hatchback
and watch as everything i know
grows smaller and smaller
in the dead of the night where beauty softens grief
Mar 2019 · 673
Cougar of Vancouver
Rose Mar 2019
I put too much hope into you
Too much hope into a church, hoping I would learn to fit into it
Too much hope into a town, hoping I would learn to love it
Too much hope into friends that knew not of my soul
Into friends I had hoped would make time for me
Into people I had hoped would accept my beliefs because they accepted me
I put too much hope into a man who stunk of reckless and heartless ambition
Into a man I thought would love me before I loved myself
How wrong and twisted I was
And what a blessing I can see straight again
irony at it's finest
Rose Mar 2019
Sunflowers fill the space where grief will not
Lumpy navy seats fill the room as the lights dim
Words are spoken in the fumes of salt and snot
Nothing can fill the murk in our souls as we drift
the saddest of days, you fell 150 feet, and the world is cruel as we all hurt
Mar 2019 · 125
dizzy madness
Rose Mar 2019
how i wish i could climb up
away from this madness
and sit in the crook of branches
letting the stress drip from my feet
as we sway
to the sounds of the breeze
Rose Mar 2019
Tiny specks of glass lay in the street lights,
as we make our way past the distant sound of laughter,
the scuff of your shoes matches the beat of my chest,
the moon filters through spanish moss to play with your hair
as my fingers itch
Mar 2019 · 319
pacific coast highway
Rose Mar 2019
We were in search of the sea,
traveling the curves of the highway
on the hunt for a lighthouse in the distance
running from responsibilities like the plague
pretending the summer heat won’t fade
building bonfires as the sunlight
falls behind the waves
and still, we smile
the first ocean i fell in love with
Mar 2019 · 306
153rd drive
Rose Mar 2019
rusted vases light the hallway
as the sun breaks over the trees
pictures float from the cracked walls
tattered floors from the living we’ve done
a house that shows the life we've lived all here together. what a beautiful worn look we've made.
Mar 2019 · 334
youthful romance
Rose Mar 2019
a snapshot in time
i knew in that moment
you didn’t know my heart
but in that small moment
we were an endless stream
of warmth spinning by our eyes
colors blending into paint
and these hearts
for a moment
reached
those times where if feels like you connect- really connect. but sometimes nothing can stop the spell from breaking.
Mar 2019 · 249
softly
Rose Mar 2019
I hide behind the curtains of my busyness
Pretending this ice on my heart is embracing
But the shadows dancing, remind me of the cold.
At dawn I awaken with the emptiness beside me
All the pairs of shoes that lay here fit only one
Independent as i might portray to be
I’m just a girl waiting for an equal hand to hold
waiting and waiting is all that i seem to know
Mar 2019 · 91
hiraeth
Rose Mar 2019
I won’t ever know this kind of rain again,
It won’t cloud my hearing and embrace my clothes.
No longer will this misty air lay on my skin.
No longer will the moss sway
as the streets flood.
The crack of thunder will no longer interrupt
discussions across tables.

No longer will this blue house be my home,
where endless alarms can be heard in the morning,
and polar opposite rooms align to the meeting ground tile.
No longer will dinners of corn be shared,
where conversations stretch across
this white oak table as candle wax melts.
No longer will I belong to this place.

For I will return to quiet drizzles
Running rivers,
deeper greens,
and kind hearts.
I will return to quiet souls,
that murmur over the mist of coffee,
with pastry flakes lining the table.

I will leave this speck on a map
To another speck,
I call home.
far away from a speck on the map that I once knew. how weird it is to say that.
Mar 2019 · 356
amarantos
Rose Mar 2019
In moments when time seems infinite
and reality is the beating of voices
between lost souls

In moments when grays bloom into whites
and smiles transform into embraces
from heart to heart

There are these moments that will never wither
never fade from the colors of our eyes
as the ticking goes by
for those memories and times in life that everything seemed so alive, as if our souls were on fire.
Mar 2019 · 1.6k
blue cadence to our melody
Rose Mar 2019
There is a yellow tint to this scene
A golden bronze to this touch
I so desperately want to know
if you see it too

If my mind is stretching too far
stop me before I fall off the edge

But if you see these hands as
a God bearing gift
Take them and show me their worth
But if we keep sitting here in this stale water
I will grow old and prune in this filth
to men: do something, or else we will leave. because I am a woman who deserves more. a man should see me across the room and want to know me. and after finding out who i am; should want to be with me. if not, then i will leave for i have waited long enough for a man who sees me.
Jan 2019 · 407
34th Street
Rose Jan 2019
You’ve been there for the mistakes
     And the bad dates
          Through the heart aches
               And shallow souls
                    From the homesick fights
                         To those drunk nights
            I looked to you
            And found
Endless jokes when we spit up our cokes
Joyful nights when we worked away the fear
Cold walks where we talked till the end of the world
I told you everything between my ribs and heart
            I hope we will hold strong
            But if we slip from each others grasps
                        I just ask you
To remember
Jan 2019 · 398
Creature of a Culture
Rose Jan 2019
beautiful Chicago girl,
made of compassion
with an ocean swimming behind
those lake michigan eyes
bloomed from a broken marriage
fighting for a dream
You hold so much in the depths
of that olive skin
as kindness flows in your veins
you, yourself are diverse
burning with a passion that evokes
You are a masterpiece
waiting to be painted
to the one that taught me how to see the world in a different light. to look at others with an open mind and heart, ready to listen to their story. to the one that showed me how important it is to inform yourself.
Oct 2018 · 398
meaning of something
Rose Oct 2018
My nose is in these pages for my mind wishes to wander
To a place where faces no longer sneer insults like spit
These fantasies hold more for me than these blank walls
I want more than these crowded streets of faces I know
what a feeling to know, dreaming and wishing are such wonderful things. just don't forget to get out there and do something about it.
Oct 2018 · 270
ektar 100 35mm
Rose Oct 2018
Those endless butterflies
that bring contagious
uncontrollable
smiles to your face
and make it impossible
to think of anything but
those brown eyes
if you know, you know
Oct 2018 · 365
calypso spiced
Rose Oct 2018
What will come of tomorrow
Will the drunkenness run through and bits fall into place
Or will you forget all of this
Every word whispered in your ear as you’re hands seek places
My desperation of meaning more than this
And you’re simple words used for a girl in desperate need of loving
A drunken kiss and drunken man are all that I accept
one of those things you always seem to do, right? those nights that you wish never happened, where you kept some dignity but lost a lot.
Oct 2018 · 221
unscented romance
Rose Oct 2018
One day when the morning comes
It won’t just be unscented romance and wrinkled sheets
It will be feather touches and comforter conversations
As fingers wrap around wild curls and morning embodies
And cold floor boards are the raging fire that keeps us here
Instead of an uncontrollable avoidance of last night’s events
one day, i hope this will be true.
Oct 2018 · 335
fake blonde behind the mask
Rose Oct 2018
Dark lips match my slumbering feet as i tread
Fringe conceals the elastic snap of my soul
Toxin lines my veins to dull the drum in my chest
Shame lines my eyes like cats on the prowl
Hollow bodies are all i know as tomorrow awaits
this is so very real for many times i get hurt.
Oct 2018 · 642
spearmint gum
Rose Oct 2018
Humming to this crack of mine
Knowing my fate before it begins
I am simply no care
No matter at all

I am second best
Always last
Never quick
With no wit

I am a single wrapper
lost in the trash
Just a blanket
For cold souls

Like you
again and again, i am hurt by lose i let near, i know what i do is wrong but i can't seem to stop for my heart wants to love each person even if they do not deserve my love.
Oct 2018 · 388
the day i was reborn
Rose Oct 2018
You hear my words as they roll off my tongue,
Forgotten tomorrow,
Remembered never.

I hear yours,
Remembered tomorrow,
Forgotten never.

I see that sometimes my passion deceives,
But all I want,
is to voice it.

I’ve felt such sadness
it crushes,
I’ve felt such loneliness
it breaks,
But still you do not hear me.

What can I say to make this voice even louder

I know the color of death
As fresh as an hour,
Washed gone with a load of clothes,
Faded like paper.

I know the sticky fingers of a mans and how it lingers,
Like salt on your skin,
Sugar under your nails

I know the cold floor of a bathroom
So cold it reaches into my soul
Grabs hold of every last breath
As I try to call out to you.

I could scream at you I feel so lost.
I could rip out my heart,
that’s how little I feel it
As you talk down to me.
May 30th, you *******. The day I finally saw myself clearly and you as the ******* you are. I don't think you will ever produce something worth while, for you do not have anything important to say, and the way to say it.
Oct 2018 · 447
strawberry wine
Rose Oct 2018
What a thing a man is
Our culture tells you who to be
As if thats some excuse
You feel all high and mighty
You wish for all the suitors at your door
But you will never pick just one
We are mere objects in your lust filling dreams

Well i have had enough
I no longer wish to just be a body to you
Curves and edges all yours to touch
I am a soul deeper than the movies you watch
I am a loving you do not deserve
Men, this is not for all of you. Just some of you. This is an angry woman sitting at  her desk, releasing his hold on her. Don't take offense to another mans idiocy.
Aug 2018 · 258
just be
Rose Aug 2018
Just look at me like,
i’m real and right,
like i’m full and wise.
Hold me like i know.
Feel me as i am.
Let me love you,
like i can.
i wish this could be understood more than it is
Aug 2018 · 274
only a stranger in passing
Rose Aug 2018
A passing moment
So powerful
You simply want them to come back.
While feet slip by
And hearts wander farther away
to those amazing strangers you meet that will only always be strangers
Aug 2018 · 303
Only you
Rose Aug 2018
You come home stumbling
mumbling
grabbing me as the toxin numbs

I pretend I’m not sober
so I can feel your skin against mine

I pull you closer as you pull away
and we crash into sheets

I pretend not to feel your confusion
as you touch the curve of my neck
and remind me that I need you
more than you need me
a real truth for a lot of people out there. i found out before too long that i was just a pretty face. some men are just ******* who when intoxicated- decided your suddenly worth it. but when the morning comes... you are nothing.
Aug 2018 · 306
Saddened Wanderer,
Rose Aug 2018
I see your soul.
A barren strain isn’t hard to examine.
I know the flatline and dead mindlessness
that comes as a sand storm sweeps.
I know those aches and groans.

I’ve sat by the colorless windows
of a gloomy city, seeing nothing but strangers
with indifferent eyes.
I’ve walked these streets feeling the laughter
vibrate but never entering this gray soul.

I’ve bought all the whisky to drown out
the fluorescent lights of love blooming
in the new year.
Grabbed book after book
in hopes to fill the gaps and dents in me.
There might be a cure
but don’t find it in someone else.

For those tropical storms can carry
them away and leave you to wallow
alone like a tape on replay.

So run.
Go far and leave this town.
Run from your life.
Travel.
Eat.
And pray.

Then maybe you can love and blossom
in the lights for the choices taken
by a wandering soul.

Fit to nothing but feel everything.
For life is too short to sit- read- drink-
and feel the burn of salt on your cheeks.

Sincerely yours,

Wanda
weird to look back on your writings and remember it all over again
Aug 2018 · 378
Foolish Giant
Rose Aug 2018
Have you ever wondered why the world is so rough?
These plains break and mold from those like you.
Trampling in no order-
only you, decide what remains,
while the rest of that mind,
listens to the lies of the world.
How high your head must be,
what little oxygen you must get,
for your ignorance is as fluffy as a cloud.
You see what you wish in the sinful…
oh, how the crime is you.

Sincerely yours,
The Suppressed Dirt
if only i could copy and paste this to the one it's about. what satisfaction that would be.
Aug 2018 · 616
down south
Rose Aug 2018
The last embrace
before i’m walking
away

Last touch of your
face
Before i’m tasting
tears

I can feel the beat of
your heart
as your hair
is brushing mine

and then
Your hand is slipping
through mine
and i’m lost in the current
of people
every **** time.
Aug 2018 · 305
ever so, sophie
Rose Aug 2018
I sit in this calm breeze
as just a stranger

I know that the wind
will get crisp
as the meadows grow
green

I missed the the turn
of the leaves
as i miss the result

Your hair will grow longer
in the passing of weeks
new crevices
will be made
as you laugh anew
and i will miss it.
as i sat in the square today, i realized how things will change so forcefully like each season. you cannot stop it, as time goes on. i will come back and it will be a new season.
Aug 2018 · 331
guilty monsoon
Rose Aug 2018
There is a flaw so big
that nothing dares to
approach.
An aching gap within
this soul.
I’m damaged goods;
who would want the
dented can at the store?
Theres rips and tears
upon my heart and mind.
You cannot walk to
me, for i’ve put
spikes to protect myself.
You cannot fly to
me, for the air you breath
is poisoned.
I’ve surrounded myself
on my own island.
Ashamed at what
others took from me.
Embarrassed that i’ve
been abused in the
worst way.
This secret is one we
hold close, “for who
could learn to love me?”
No.
Thats not what i
ask. I ask; how can i
ever let someone
love me?
a real hard truth i've had to really took at about myself, things done to me are not my guilt, i should not be ashamed of them. to anyone who has felt the same way- know your worth.
Aug 2018 · 208
romance between you and i
Rose Aug 2018
There is something about how the moon meets the sun
How night can turn our words into deep flowing rivers
Our biggest worries are suddenly little stones

The wind no longer chills our skins into regret
as light reflects between us creating warmth
where shadows used to lie
I’m no longer a stranger to your chasm but
Someone reaching out through seeping waters
those nights when everything seems possible and every problem is suddenly within reach, that is how i feel with you
Aug 2018 · 258
halocline
Rose Aug 2018
I fear these goodbyes
for when I return
time will have passed
and I don’t expect
You to wait

but how I wish
I didn’t have to wait
to come back

I must leave
and I know
You don’t understand
why
but I must

I am in
a season
of waiting
there was always an illusion of going away. i now know that time won't stop, people won't wait, as i won't. i will change and so will you... i just hope when i make my way back... you will still be here.
Aug 2018 · 278
such is life
Rose Aug 2018
i’m paving way on a path i can’t see
making my way through rose bushes
pretending i don’t feel the ****** of fear
i’m fighting through waves while i sink
pretending i don’t feel the burn in my chest
i’m walking through this murky fog
pretending not to feel the heaviness it brings
pretending to feel iridescent in the face of this
as if i’m not seeping through the floor boards
as life shows me the truth of my choices
life has a funny way of making everything feel weighted even when it's a picture of happiness. there must always be goodbyes.
Aug 2018 · 517
willowed nights
Rose Aug 2018
grab me and wrap me up
in hope and
possibility

paint my walls white
to erase these
bruises

softly hold my face as my eyes
pour out the worlds
pain

but please

whisper in the night
of your love
as i drift
Aug 2018 · 350
to the hills
Rose Aug 2018
I’m chasing the sunset,
passing through colored blankets,
Gazing as mountains pass
me by
and water
gleams down bellow
My heart cries
as I think
of my golden fields
and violet blossoms
Light is reflected in
my eyes as I watch
time float
The sun burns the
hue of my blood
So many seasons have
come and gone in my
absence
everything has changed
and I drift on
awaiting your arms
the smell of pine
the feel of the river
on my skin
the color of the fading
day
the curve and
twists of the hills
I call home

My breath fogs as I watch
myself
come home
to all those who venture out into the world to seek something new, and find themselves in losing themselves. you ran and found a new rhythm of life. now take it and bring it home.
Aug 2018 · 401
Love Stones
Rose Aug 2018
Love is Love, until it burns you

i Loved you fearlessly
unconditionally
until i left for the sunrise

i saw lighter clouds
brighter moons

and realized you hurt me
more than you Loved me

i asked you
to own up to your soul
accept the faults that
burns those around you

i cannot Love you
if you won’t put out the flames

maybe i flourish too fast
blur the lines you need to walk on

but i feel that i tread
in the flakiness of you thoughts
waiting for you to make up your mind

as i’m left time and time, Again
for a past love, things changed and i saw more things than you cared to dream. i came back to find how little you dared to fly.
Jul 2018 · 250
Floating on your words
Rose Jul 2018
I’m floating just above your waves,
trying to stay
as you take me away
on a journey I didn’t ask for
so let me rise to the surface
before I drown.
Jun 2018 · 294
to where the souls go
Rose Jun 2018
I rubbed the gum wrapper so long my fingers turned green,
as pieces of tin foil fell like dust on this tattered pillow.
i sat obediently calm and quietly observant,
while you judged me for the amount of days i’ve lived
not considering the quality of those days.

I drove home screaming to melodies lost on me,
as the night air whipped my hair into tangles of hurt,
asking what plan He has for a soul like mine,
for no matter where i go, there simply isn’t a place for me.

It’s never a question of smiles gained or looks given,
but rather, the ways i can bend and form to ideas,
and how easily i can lie while waiting for the curtain to drop.
i can't conquer every battle and when i've lost i fall hard. this is for those who might have lost me, if they don't fix the crumbling path.
Jun 2018 · 571
happiness
Rose Jun 2018
what a beautiful thing
to have a happiness box
filled with
quite mornings with falling snow
white light of a full moon with the ocean breeze caressing
rumble of lightening on the road under the flashing stars
warm sand between toes with sweet fruit on your tongue
peaceful nights as rain gently taps at your window
gental hums of the dishwasher as you fall asleep
her soft hair as she bends her head to cook
creaks of the stairs as they wear time with pride
what a magical thing to remember
your happiness box
Jun 2018 · 303
cheater
Rose Jun 2018
bitter, bitter
like a cold sweater
/
bicker, bicker
like an old couple
/
take it, you bold cheater
name it, or you loose it
/
bucket, don't you kick it
find me, later
find me, faker
maker, maker
you money maker
/
write it, down
or you will let it die
/
cause times a tickin'
you old faker
May 2018 · 371
My Hallowed Cemetery
Rose May 2018
This hallowed ground we stand on
was built on lies,
and I can’t pretend I don’t see it shaking.

There was more to me,
and more to you.

This was a gift,
a blessing to be treasured;
now all we’re digging for is rust.

I thought there was more to you,
but you’re just a plane jane,
wrapped in gold.

Should’ve know these lumps held lies,
but I pretended these holes weren’t made by bullets,
you unleashed.

My sacred love,
is now resting in its grave
as you carve out one more hole,
for me.
love can die so quickly, be taken for granted: when it should be treasured.
Rose May 2018
Who am I?
To You?
Do you only see silky skin,
    with hair that wraps around you,
        with slow curves,
             little freckles,
                 and warm eyes
      or do you see my soul,
          do you see how it ignites?
Do you feel the beat
        of my heart,
ready to leap,
craving life and it’s glow.
Do you feel my ache?
the burn of marks
        left by careless lovers.
Do you care?
Or am I just another token
        in your jar?
this is for the man that i can feel that i'm flying with, but in every moment i wonder if all i am is just a pretty face.
Rose May 2018
my words are empty murmurs to an old man,
who thinks his worth is more than mine.
the inferiority of my *** is inflicted by your tone.
one day you will be brought down from your high tower of injustice.
so many times my *** has brought me shame, for what knowledge can a woman know? the answer is so much.
May 2018 · 353
Dear Pacifist,
Rose May 2018
Nature is, what you are not.
It’s fires swallow up forests;
so new life can bloom again,
while the ocean will take back beaches;
when land grows too greedy.
River waters rush and churn,
so only the strong can grow
with the power of evolution.
You burn so soft,
as not to wake the dark, but,
your fire will wither out,
for faint flames-
stand no chance against the wind.
You won’t move forward,
yet you won’t move back,
for fear of rocking the boat.
I say,
let the waters rise,
burn through the weak,
and I will rock this **** ship.
I say,
let's take a swim,
and let the water flip and carry us away;
for you won’t get far on the shore.
I sit and let the storms rage on,
for I’m a tornado of my own.
I just hope you’ll learn that peace,
doesn’t always get the job done.
Take a risk,
rock this **** canoe
and you’ll finally find how to breath.

Sincerely yours,
Raging Fire
Inspired by so many around me that can't seem to let loose and understand that at some point you have to take a stand.
May 2018 · 917
a little less than perfect
Rose May 2018
so look at me
tell me i know nothing
tell me the world has been kind
but before you do
before you judge me so harshly
show me your heart
and i’ll show mine
it’s covered in bruises and rips,
rust and grime,
hurt and shame.
dents and dings,
then look at me and say i’m beautiful
tell me i’m as golden as a ray
look me in the eye and tell me i’m not damaged
I can only wish the person this is for could hear these words and understand how damaged I am, and with that knowledge: take care in what they say.
May 2018 · 320
Before Sunrise
Rose May 2018
All that’s left of him is a picture frame, once looked at over the armchair as coffee brews.
A bar of soap, bought for him in the winter as we slombered along to the dull sound of static.
His watch, worn day in and day out, as his world started and stopped with that watch.
And a small bag that held love letters before those who wrote them claimed them in the estate sale.

There they sit in the cold dark night. Lonely and forgotten. The aftermath of a war, and a fight he lost. And all I can hear in the darkness, is the slow ticking of that watch.
To the one I lost, missing you hits in waves and memories. You will never be lost in me heart.
May 2018 · 430
Backslide
Rose May 2018
Love is a mending of two hearts
I am a forest fire,
a rickety fan that will never run quite right,
a cup of coffee that warms your soul.

I burn too bright, but fade too fast.
I crave a different tune to which nobody knows.

I want,
No I need,
a steady hum to learn to beat next to,
to walk side by side as equals.

I want to burn in passion, but I need
to breath slowly as we lay in a sheet of knowledge.

I want an outreached arm, but I need
a mountain of freedom to climb.
I want to fit perfectly, but I need
to fit as crookedly as bent spoons.

Give me strength but don’t take away my essence.
Let me be free, but be free with me.
Find my heart but only touch it.
A feeling I feel as every man tries to fix me, claim me, take me. I am meant to be free. So be free with me. Walk beside me.
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