Do you remember that time where you were late and I was nervous?
The time where you couldn’t leave it 2 days and I made a playlist “drive with summer girl”
When all we did was let our chests let us know what’s best and the world seemed to fall to the wayside like so many complications we refused at the door.
When the only thing that stopped us was the turning of the sun and the expectations of a world not set on allowing the future that is ours.
My plants have never been so well watered than the cups you left around my house, the knowing you were here, the reminder that not everything is measured.
Everything is so yes but now in a pile of maybes that make my heart quiver in the mourning of the future that never has always been.
Like so many poems at 4 AM to help you sleep, to satisfy the I love you in my soul, to hear the comfort in your voice, the “I’m crazy about you baby” in your eyes that leaves me heart and sleeve in a store just waiting for me to leave.
Sarah said “In my dreams, you spin around me so fast I wake up dizzy” It’s a shame we’re both so busy… Busy in the rooms with no seats and an I love you in every goodnight.
Sarah said, “tell me 10 things that are true”. But I only need 1.
I am having hard time accepting truth No clue how to survive World without your presence Is not a world In which I long to be alive No one cares the way you did Space in heart nothing can fill Numb myself with substances Sorrow impossible to **** No hope for better tomorrows Barely make it through today Room shrinking with each breath Choke on each word I try to say Pass the time getting high as I can An attempt to avoid dwelling on greif Temporary band-aid to cover wound Relief always too brief Move only when necessary Every step exhausts my feet When walking I slowly trudge forward As if legs are stuck in concrete Around others maintain composure Can even manage to smile Inside back of my mind pain throbs Prowling all the while And I bottle up tears within My eyes never stay dry for long For my effort is ever in vain Failing to be stable and strong This is more difficult than I ever imagined Nightmare manifested in one blink Depth of my agony cannot be captured In range of sound or intricacies of ink Box of memories stored in brain Mustering courage to close Replay past moments until my head spins Speeding in circles train of thought goes Is there end to the madness I feel? Chaos warps perception into knots Drive myself crazy examining events Can't quite connect the dots
I miss my mom I used to confide you ûhhh in her often
"You don't understand" "No, YOU don't understand!" The truth is, none of us can ever truly understand. Because despite our need to be social, to connect with each other, our experiences, our feelings, are ours alone. But that doesn't make connections we have with others any less meaningful. One more thing. For what it's worth, your feelings, your experiences, are valid.
This gentle flow takes control with perfect form, dark eyes match and connect in the same breath. Warmth spreads from head to your *******, lower realms swirl in the depths. Skin glistening. Bubble up, subtle touch, fingers search inversed. Would rather tingle your thighs in line with my neck, criss crossed in ****** to snap. Head tilted back, quiver and spasm as your chasm erupts. Hushed sighs in a rush collect. Congruent thoughts mix in our heads, mind *** fulfilled through this text. Open your legs as your soft lips kiss with delicate sweat, thinking in sync when you stroke the same sense. All from the chest.
Are you afraid? You're not alone. Are you hungry? Cold? You're not alone. Are you barely making it between paydays? I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this. You may not want to connect with anyone. But just know: You may have been alone before. But things have changed; Your boat's not empty anymore.
When entering the realm of another Try to connect by being receptive Relate to appropriate space Approachable pathways through principled heart centred objectives Display the routes to sincerity by observing a faithful open perspective