As I drove through a small town in oregon, I couldn't help but pull over and stop.
I don't know what came over me..
But I had to stop.
I got out of my car.
Stood next to a lonely and deserted highway.
And took in everything around me.
All the trees were different shades of red..
Some were yellow with hues of orange.
Simply put, it took my breath away..

I listened as the wind picked up..
I listened to the rustling of all the fallen leaves swirling around at my feet.

I listened to the stream that was nearby..
The urgency of water rushing over bolders and rocks..
Oh, My Beautiful oregon..
I'm going to miss everything about you.

It was a rare moment in my life where I felt completely conflicted...

This was my home...

How foolish of me not to realize I'd actually be this torn.

I knew that with me closing the final door and chapter on a part of my life...
That space needed to happen for me..
I knew..
I couldn't stay...
In beautiful..

It was this truth that brought tears to my eyes..
As I watched the sun rise...
It was a truth I guess I let slip my mind.

So I made a silent promise to myself..

I promised myself..
That someday...
Someday in the future..
I'd return...
To the only place I ever really considered home.

My Sweet Oregon.

I'll miss you.

Things come and go
Tides ebb and flow
Simply how life works
For better or worse
What can I do to change life
It can’t be altered by strife
No matter how hard we try
We don’t decide how to fly
The birds in the sky fly their own way
And the humans don’t get any say
Tides keep moving
We keep grooving
People continue to live on
Water continues to go strong
Tugging and pushing don’t do a thing
Yanking and clawing can’t touch the string
We are all tied together
We will be tied forever
That fact will never change
But life will rearrange
Remember that every day
No matter how long  you play
The bad won’t stick around forever
The good’s there whatsoever
Something happy will return
Fires of sweet hope will burn
Fires so sure will burn and never go
Just as tides so strong will ebb and flow

I am happy  but you changed that into tears.

I felt important but you changed that into doubts.

I felt i deserve your love but you changed it into doubts.

I am in love with you but you changed that in making me unworthy.

You changed everything i thought i was.

You changed me like i am the nightmare of your life
I changed you like you are in the happiest place you can ever be.

I thought i was better when i am with you but i was being my best without you.
Chat Conversation End
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Brianna Oct 11

You've been on my mind a lot these days and not your love or the lack of love I felt for you- just you in general.
The way you would dedicate certain songs to me and sing me the lyrics in the car and via phone.
The way you never really cared what anyone else thought about you- you were just you.

I was dreaming of you when La Vie En Rose came blaring through my speakers so smoothly.
I was wondering if you were thinking of me too when I'll  Be Seeing You started playing slowly at the perfect time.

There are so many songs, and the music we played lying in bed.
The good moment instead of the bad moments.
The memories that made me laugh, instead of the ones that made me feel guilty.

Guilty for letting you love me and never returning anything back.
For using you for what I needed instead of returning the same care when you needed it.

We can't change the past but we can try again with someone new.
I just wanted you to know, I was thinking of you.

When I walk past younger days
the trees are taller and I tried to catch
the leaves from falling down
Time ran away with the days
as their roots drilled down deeper
spreading shelter perched high on their branches

while the innocence of a child
reached beyond the
winged sky

Now when I happen by ― the squirrels chatter
as if I didn't notice where acorns gather
Carving out their names
upon the knotty gnarled branches
like yours every time I saw you walk away
searching for a new star to orbit,
so I asked a robin...Why am I so alone?

a young heart just grows older and
love flew beyond reach
on paper wings

When I walk through the days of autumn,
I still can’t catch the twirling leaves
yesterday’s warm dancing breeze scattered
I see your name etched in memory's heartwood
and everything else summer left behind ―
Squirrels run away with soft verdure of emerald moss
The acorns crunch beneath the gathered leaves crackle
blanketing the roots that shoulder the weight

of every inch of sky wrapped around
the big yellow Moon rise
passing by ...

October rivers 2017

note: experimental

postscript:  from ― 'Landslide' Writer(s): Stevie Nicks 1975

'Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
David Hutton Oct 2

It came very late at midnight,
Evolving like a parasite.
Twist and bend and inverse,
This mind gets too perverse.
My body craves fresh appetite.

Oblivion Oct 2

Never had I
fallen in love
in a single
instant before
I met you.

And I fell.

Lacy Sep 30

Does your past self look anything like you
Could you even recognize yourself if you saw your past you
Or would you walk right by not realizing  yourself not because you don't remember
But for the simple fact you changed so much you hardly recognized yourself
Your past you would recognize you
It's always been apart of you
Remember it's the you that you thought needed fixing

Sad leafs fall
As heavy wind blows
Naked branches get exposed

Beautiful colors aluminate the sky
As they flirt with my eye

So I fall in love with fall
the colors, the smell, the wind

I just love it all

Miro Sep 24

This image has the ethereal magic to stop
that candid snowflake, coming from a snowing sky,
which lays now in a warm field.
It preserves the feelings
of how beautiful it was floating on air,
and that freedom
still thrive in me as the seasons go by.

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