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You never be the same before.
You never be the same and after.
Your mind was changed by situation.
Your life was changed by worldview.
You changed own intellect by warping.

You never be the same before.
And never be the same and after.
Each day you transform into a different person.
In new one person, which was hidden before.
From eyes of curious and interesting.

You’re realizing day by day.
You make progress.
You meet new people.
Your life changed every second.
You changed by blinking of an eye.

You never be the same before.
You never be the same and after.
new year
new beginnings
it's supposed to be a fresh start
but what if it's just
the same
on repeat?
we still bleed,
a new year but it's bittersweet.
I hope finally some things change in 2019.
It’s funny how fast I can **** my personalities,
Then I act like I am not skilled when I am clearly wasting my abilities,
Once I thought I was ***, I was so obsessed with women,
But then I just changed, I laid that lion back in its den,
One time I played the role of a stalker,
Lol, I must tell you the guy was pretty ****, he looked like a skin walker,
I released my nice personality, and got myself a psychopath,
That took up a huge part of my life, I lived by his wrath,
Honestly it took me a while to **** that personality,
But I had to for it almost landed me into a non-escapable fatality,
I once release my player personality, the true seed of my father,
But I quickly demolished that one out of pride and not by order,
I wasn’t like my father, and being a player reminded me of him,
I thought it would be best to just keep that personality within,
I then took on my submissive personality, but then I met this guy,
He makes my personalities jumbled, and I want to know why,
The personality I take on when I am with him is unrecognizable,
It’s not bad, and I don’t know if it is good either, but it does make me stable,
He doesn’t know how much he confuses my personalities,
He’s allowing me to change, I even discovered new abilities,
He has changed me a lot, but hey I am not complaining,
For I now my personalities are sober, I no longer need saving.
A mind of Darkness,
Heart turning stone,
An abusive past is what makes you cold.

Unloving family,
A father who wanted you dead,
These are what causes the tears you shed.

Depression,
Stress,
Self-harming,
No one recognizes these things, they don’t see the warnings.

Being pressured,
Being mistreated,
Being hurt,
These all caused you to no longer see your worth.

Being looked at different,
Being called a freak,
These are the things that make you vulnerable, these are the things that make you weak.

Being told your nobodies child,
All your childhood not being able to have a genuine smile,
These are the things that made you hate life, these are the things that made you not see life as worthwhile.

All the lies,
All the pain,
Caused you to no longer be sane.

All the verbal abuse,
You were just a child, for treating you the way they did they had no excuse,
But they didn’t care, you were misused.

All these caused you to be such a broken toy,
Now you have an unfillable void,
You now feel like an abandoned and unfertile soil,

One day a He will come about,
And a new you will sprout,
You will find it hard to believe the kind words which will leave his mouth,

He will love you,
You will love him too,
Believe it, for it will be true,

A mind of Darkness,
Heart turning stone,
An abusive past is what makes you cold,
A mind of gracious light,
A heart of gold,
These he will use to make you pure.
No matter how bad your past is, try to move past it, try to live a better life. the world isn't small, there's so much it has to give, don't let your past hold you down, wake up better your life and explore, maybe you'll find a HE as I did and he will love you, and then you'll love life
Realeboga M Jan 6
Bear with me for a few minutes or throughout majority of the poem.
There’s some writers block with me.
Yet there’s a need deeper than my subconscious to write about you. A wholesome want that needs not be subliminal.

Each word, each syllable drips baring truth.
No seduction, no romance or any other double entendre.
It’s just a need to write, not for you but to write and it happens that you are the subject.

Growth comes with its formality.
Change opens our eyes to reality.
And the whole process either makes or breaks our mentality.
Not really sure whether you’re afloat or being pulled down by gravity.
That’s just the whole nature of being an entity.

Empty, sometimes growth leads to that.
Hollow, a formidable pit that keeps getting deeper.
It drags you but then again what can be done?
You’re just a life seeker.
Trying to get more, to feel more just without the ruckus of pain.

A turmoil,
You roll and roll and spin and wonder why am I moving so much, so fast?
It’s a process.
Never mind feeling confusion.
It’s just an illusion.
Or a way of getting your mind to really look at things.

I hope I didn’t lose you.
Because often in search of truth we get lost.
And no I am no truth but I’ll bring you honesty.

Consequences. No more, no less than the word guilt. We live in it, sometimes take pleasure in it. But primarily grow because that is it’s end game. Growth.

Self awareness.
Look in the mirror and appreciate, not what is outside or inside but what is you. Because growth is that, appreciation of self.

Incomplete. A feeling so deafening, so loud and corrupt. A feeling that can just be so abrupt to your conscious.
And so for that be cautious.

The mind requires freedom and love. Love from yourself and freedom from your negative self.
Only then can you truly feel growth.
And only then can you see yourself past the pain and tribulations.

This poem is not done, but it is complete.
Happy 2019!
The Toxic Bitch Aug 2018
You both have taken
A part of me
Yea you may not know it
I may not show it
But i know
That everything u do
Changes me

You too are different
Far away
Same purpose
I need comfort
Easy way or hard way?

I will not
Be that girl
The one who choose
The easy way out
But you
You're making it harder
On both you and me

I don't know what u want
But i know now what i want
Still can't
You're not safe
Trust issues ***** everything
But i like the hard way better
The easy was just an intended
Distarction

Distraction
From u
U have so much control
U don't even know
It was an endless November,
Turned into a cold December,
Let’s hope January is forgiving.
angela Dec 2018
day 1
as someone who forgot how to love and wanted nothing to do with commitment, you made me question my feelings constantly whenever i was around you.

unknowingly, i was bringing myself closer to you and you made it so hard for me to stay away.

what seemed to be a fling, became a thing.
a thing where i could actually see go far and that scared me.
i didn't want to break myself again but was i ready to risk it all for you?

i was and i did.

that night, i remember tears streaming down my face.
tears that clearly explained my love for you through the vulnerability displayed.
it was there and then, i saw you risking it all -

by loving me back.


day 765
as someone who is so comfortable with your love and used to having you here, you're making me question my feelings constantly whenever you are not around.

knowingly, we are slowly drifting apart and you are making it so hard for me to stay with you.

what seemed to be forever, is almost coming to an end.
an end where i never saw coming and it scared me.
i didn't want to break myself again so why did i risked it all for you?

because i love you.

tonight, with tears streaming down my face.
tears that clearly explained my love for you through the vulnerability displayed.
it was right now that i realized,

you don't feel the same anymore.
after two years of not writing at all, i'm finally going back to it. i know it kinda ***** cuz it's all over the place and a little cliche but im just out here expressing myself during tough times so bare with me...


to my lover who's fading away,
i still love you. what about you?
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