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I'm embarrassed that
All my poems are
About how I struggle
Over you
Over the past
Over you

How dare you?
All I can do and all I can say
is I’m sorry for making you feel this way.
Angry, annoyed, “Will she ever get the hint?
There’s no chance I’ll love her, not even a glint.”

Best I can tell you is I know I’m the beast
who embarrassed herself until she finally ceased.
Battling emotions said there might be a chance,
while the other side knew this was only a trance.

Conversations commenced, started by just one side
and I bet you couldn’t wait until all of them died.
Calling myself out is all I can do
because now I’m too ashamed to apologize to you.

Don’t even worry, I know I did wrong.
Somehow I managed to string myself along.
Denial was in me, thanks to all of your smiles.
Now my dignity’s laying in tatters and piles.

Every time I think about how I once was,
I start to feel an uncomfortable buzz.
Endlessly tormented by my very own actions,
I’ve no one else to blame for my dissatisfactions.

“**** me,” I say. “**** my dumb, ****** brain.”
I am the source of my sorrow and pain.
For all that I’ve said and for all that I’ve done,
I wish there was one time I actually won.

Going, going, gone. I got out of some’s life.
Now I’m not here to cause you more strife.
Grateful, I am, that some still call me friend,
that you still care enough not to let it all end.

Happy, you are, that my flirting disappeared,
thankful this uncomfortable fog has now cleared.
Hoping if you read this you won’t be upset,
but for me it’s so hard to just stop and forget.

I want you to know that I bear no ill will,
for it’s me that I’m angry with. Always. Still.
I look at the night sky and see that it’s starry
and I just want to tell you that I am so sorry.
Because I'm the poster child for unrequited love.
Your existence is a testament to my unending terrible embarrassment
Why can't I permanently delete draft poems straight away??? What is happening to Hello Poetry?  I have been here for almost 5 years and I kinda miss the old format :'(
OpenWorldView Dec 2018
Sweet ghosts freed the mind
for lively chatter with friends.
Body leaves heart ashamed.
A few "Long Island Iced Tea" too many.
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
reading your old poems from so long ago
the ones about love rip me apart
the way you describe other girls you've loved
and the way they made you feel
can i help that i'm jealous?
no
no i can't
it's just who i am
my cheeks burn red
from embarrassment
the only thing i can think now is
"am i the only one on your mind?"
timestopper Sep 2018
Today is mourning.
Tomorrow is greif.

In a room full of windows but no door.
Nowhere to hide and nothing else to show.

Can't I be the one under the floor.
If only they could know.

The comedian is dead.
There is nothing funny anymore.
Its been too long.
instagram: o.hijazi96
Rose Aug 2018
There is a flaw so big
that nothing dares to
approach.
An aching gap within
this soul.
I’m damaged goods;
who would want the
dented can at the store?
Theres rips and tears
upon my heart and mind.
You cannot walk to
me, for i’ve put
spikes to protect myself.
You cannot fly to
me, for the air you breath
is poisoned.
I’ve surrounded myself
on my own island.
Ashamed at what
others took from me.
Embarrassed that i’ve
been abused in the
worst way.
This secret is one we
hold close, “for who
could learn to love me?”
No.
Thats not what i
ask. I ask; how can i
ever let someone
love me?
a real hard truth i've had to really took at about myself, things done to me are not my guilt, i should not be ashamed of them. to anyone who has felt the same way- know your worth.
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