I have always felt inferior to her. She made sure of that. She always made comments that shattered my confidence, but then complimented herself and built up her own ego. I have always struggled with my weight and I’m practically starving myself to obtain a figure that she so effortlessly has. I look at my stretch marks with wet eyes filled with embarrassment and shame. I work out and eat healthy food. I deprive myself of the foods I crave and barely eat enough calories to get me through the day. She gets to eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and she’ll literally lose weight in the process. I work so hard to keep my job and can barely afford to put gas in my car. She stays home doing whatever she wants all day and spends money on her daddy’s credit card. I bust my *** to have good grades and struggle to keep them. She does all her schoolwork while she’s drunk and high and she still makes the dean’s list. I try so hard to keep what little I have and she so effortlessly has more than I do. I just don’t understand how that’s fair. Why does she deserve it and I don’t?
Toxic best friends are the worst kind because you don't know how to get rid of them.
Inferiority perched ready in the waiting misty lake. Like magic, she floats atop a rippling plain. Rest in water, breathe deep - the fool. She flutters above, air bubble out of reach. Drown drown in the void you create and breathe deep. "I pity the corpses who lie in the water," you say in the grasp of dead hands.
You are a force and your mind is the block, so do as you wish, but lay still. However long you gasp for air, you will die regretting free will.
Stop holding me back for once, see the fire burning in every ounce of scribbles and words of mine. Stop making me guilty for my flight, and look into the horizon so bright. Stop making me resent your roof, while all this time you stay aloof. Stop shaming me for someone's fault, and let them go into the devil's vault of sins, see the virtues in me that I lock from the fear that you might tear and block. Stop thinking my life for your honour, and save this human in me from this horror. Stop it, with your words that shatter my esteem and do make me drift away from your team. Stop the assumptions from the lores of the devil, and look into my dreams arranged in levels. Stop it , Stop it, Stop it, When will you feel words I write and stop linking insanity with my fight. Stop it
Inhale All the thoughts that go through; I know less, I know more, I may actually know nothing at all. The gnawing voice, That I know is my own, Keeps repeating That I am wrong. How I live, How I act, How I chose to be, How every little thing, Seems to be hurting people who are not me. Maybe they see Things much differently, Maybe it is me who can’t really feel. Exhale Do they really see What I am trying to express? Or has it been repressed? No words enough, No action good, Always seemingly misunderstood. Inhale and exhale Then it repeats.