I'm in need.
My self doubt like a snowball
and it's picking up speed.
I'm in need.
I look like a flower
but I grow like a ****.
I'm in need.
My head trapped in a cage
and it must be freed.
I let the feeling in of loss spread in my chest like a devious seed.
Why do I do these things when they cause me to bleed?
If I just keep pushing
I will never succeed
I will reach too far down this road
Where it is too late to recede
Down into my throat
These false fixes i force feed
What do I need?
In times of deep insecurity, support is needed most. And most times, rarely acquired.
You sit or you stand there, not moving
While I’m shaking with the effort to stay
You laugh when I try to tell you something
Already you know what I’m trying to say
It’s selfish, I’m being entirely unfair
But I want to cause an effect
I live for you, all I own I share
And I resent it sometimes when I reflect
I spiral over events I forget within hours
Throw words like tangible objects at you
Forget that you’ve brought me flowers
Forget how you smile at “Love you too”s
I move everything in your direction
Where you are is where I want to be
My thought process needs a bit of correction
I know even when you’re far, you still love me
Guess you're gone again
Watched you walk away;
You always said breathe out then in;
Know you'll be back someday.
Same seeks same to find its home
Not meant to chase the vogue
Some souls are surely made to roam
Rebel always chooses Rogue.
And rebels need a reason
We can’t abide bad laws; yet
Against the heart there is no treason
When standing for a Cause.
Always loved unspoken things
Like the thrill of open sky
Every bird must find its wings
To let go of fear and finally fly.
Beneath your chest there beats a fire
A powerful creature that needs to be free
Weave these words into the pyre
This is who you’re meant to be.
And I refuse to be your cage,
Won’t bind your feet or blind your soul
Won’t consign you to dance on broken stage, ‘cos
You’re meant for more than that role.
Can’t hide a sky of stars in a box
Can’t bottle a boundless tide,
Can’t block nature behind black locks,
Though I’m ashamed to say I’ve tried.
If you must fade to find your grace
Because you’re made of art,
Just know you always have a place
Wherever waits this heart.
You’re always free to go, and
Seek each untraveled road;
Build your dream abode.
Just please hear this song
That I’ve been singing all along:
I’ll always prove your fears were wrong, for
Some things will not erode.
it doesn’t feel the same anymore
it feels forced from your behalf
it feels fake
i feel like i’m going to push you again
because i love you too much
and you’re going to leave
i don’t want to let you go
but should i be feeling this pain?
should i always be hurt?
should i always be scared?
please tell me you love me
please tell me i’m all you need
i know i’m needy
and too loving
and too crazy about you
but i need reassurance from you
that everything’s going to be alright
and that you’ll always be there
in the end.
sorry i had to rant
Nothing simple about this,
'Love at first sight'
Yet foolish and wanted
People will shake heads
But I cannot help,
to yearn for it
In hopeful secretiveness, waiting
for a warm embrace
in reassurance that,
it will come
Who else wants love?
Time is money
Every tick of an hand
Life runs away
Never know where it stands
Surely it’s not for free
1 micro-litre of blood per second
Invested in you
For I thought
You must know
That it was not
For a waste
I miss being praised.
Is that narcissistic? Selfish? Self-Obsessed?
No matter how much things may improve, the lack of a constant reassurance that used to exist leaves a gaping hole of insecurity.
You may improve yourself, get better, but if someone is not telling you that you are, have you actually improved? Are you truly getting better?
If progress is based off your own assessment isn’t that biased?
I Give Up.
When I left
I came back
Hand in hand
Happiness is always
In our prayers.