We grieve in different corners of this house
All plagued by the changing routine
All withering in the musky silence
Not saying what is resting over us
I don’t think we want the waterfalls tonight

But we all know that they will come
in the silence of our beds
And we’ll pull the covers tightly
Hoping this weight will be less
tomorrow

We’re all fragile tonight
The smallest thing
Stings my eyes

Be strong
Be strong

We carry on tomorrow
Until it grabs us again
And we drop the vase
Cracking at the seams
But never quite breaking

The creaking and groaning
Of our souls
Curl up next to us at night
Like you did

Be strong

I scrap the walls clean
Hoping to be rid of the dust
Then cry
Because
These small pieces of you
Are gone now too

I miss you

Be strong

I understand it now
My heart pours out
Life flows from my soul
And wraps you in gold

You’re caught up in me
All tangled up in emotions
you’ve never unleashed

how many youthful nights have i driven away
from a town of late nights searching for hope
driving this highway with orange street lights
and yellow headlights flashing past my eyes
how many lonely drives must i endure
blasting songs too loud to drown out
my thoughts of grief for this life

the city lights glowing over water
under bridges built to connect us
when all i feel is worlds away
from a life of people that move forward
towards white picket fences
and bouncing baby’s

these drives are spent running
wishing to have enough courage
to pack up this hatchback
and watch as everything i know
grows smaller and smaller

Sunflowers fill the space where grief will not
Lumpy navy seats fill the room as the lights dim
Words are spoken in the fumes of salt and snot
Nothing can fill the murk in our souls as we drift

Tiny specks of glass lay in the street lights,
as we make our way past the distant sound of laughter,
the scuff of your shoes matches the beat of my chest,
the moon filters through spanish moss to play with your hair
as my fingers itch

rusted vases light the hallway
as the sun breaks over the trees
pictures float from the cracked walls
tattered floors from the living we’ve done

In moments when time seems infinite
and reality is the beating of voices
between lost souls

In moments when grays bloom into whites
and smiles transform into embraces
from heart to heart

There are these moments that will never wither
never fade from the colors of our eyes
as the ticking goes by

There is a yellow tint to this scene
A golden bronze to this touch
I so desperately want to know
if you see it too

If my mind is stretching too far
stop me before I fall off the edge

But if you see these hands as
a God bearing gift
Take them and show me their worth
But if we keep sitting here in this stale water
I will grow old and prune in this filth

You’ve been there for the mistakes
     And the bad dates
          Through the heart aches
               And shallow souls
                    From the homesick fights
                         To those drunk nights
            I looked to you
            And found
Endless jokes when we spit up our cokes
Joyful nights when we worked away the fear
Cold walks where we talked till the end of the world
I told you everything between my ribs and heart
            I hope we will hold strong
            But if we slip from each others grasps
                        I just ask you
To remember

beautiful Chicago girl,
made of compassion
with an ocean swimming behind
those lake michigan eyes
bloomed from a broken marriage
fighting for a dream
You hold so much in the depths
of that olive skin
as kindness flows in your veins
you, yourself are diverse
burning with a passion that evokes
You are a masterpiece
waiting to be painted

Humming to this crack of mine
Knowing my fate before it begins
I am simply no care
No matter at all

I am second best
Always last
Never quick
With no wit

I am a single wrapper
lost in the trash
Just a blanket
For cold souls

Like you

Just look at me like,
i’m real and right,
like i’m full and wise.
Hold me like i know.
Feel me as i am.
Let me love you,
like i can.

A passing moment
So powerful
You simply want them to come back.
While feet slip by
And hearts wander farther away

You come home stumbling
mumbling
grabbing me as the toxin numbs

I pretend I’m not sober
so I can feel your skin against mine

I pull you closer as you pull away
and we crash into sheets

I pretend not to feel your confusion
as you touch the curve of my neck
and remind me that I need you
more than you need me

I see your soul.
A barren strain isn’t hard to examine.
I know the flatline and dead mindlessness
that comes as a sand storm sweeps.
I know those aches and groans.

I’ve sat by the colorless windows
of a gloomy city, seeing nothing but strangers
with indifferent eyes.
I’ve walked these streets feeling the laughter
vibrate but never entering this gray soul.

I’ve bought all the whisky to drown out
the fluorescent lights of love blooming
in the new year.
Grabbed book after book
in hopes to fill the gaps and dents in me.
There might be a cure
but don’t find it in someone else.

For those tropical storms can carry
them away and leave you to wallow
alone like a tape on replay.

So run.
Go far and leave this town.
Run from your life.
Travel.
Eat.
And pray.

Then maybe you can love and blossom
in the lights for the choices taken
by a wandering soul.

Fit to nothing but feel everything.
For life is too short to sit- read- drink-
and feel the burn of salt on your cheeks.

Sincerely yours,

Wanda

Have you ever wondered why the world is so rough?
These plains break and mold from those like you.
Trampling in no order-
only you, decide what remains,
while the rest of that mind,
listens to the lies of the world.
How high your head must be,
what little oxygen you must get,
for your ignorance is as fluffy as a cloud.
You see what you wish in the sinful…
oh, how the crime is you.

Sincerely yours,
The Suppressed Dirt

The last embrace
before i’m walking
away

Last touch of your
face
Before i’m tasting
tears

I can feel the beat of
your heart
as your hair
is brushing mine

and then
Your hand is slipping
through mine
and i’m lost in the current
of people

I sit in this calm breeze
as just a stranger

I know that the wind
will get crisp
as the meadows grow
green

I missed the the turn
of the leaves
as i miss the result

Your hair will grow longer
in the passing of weeks
new crevices
will be made
as you laugh anew
and i will miss it.

There is a flaw so big
that nothing dares to
approach.
An aching gap within
this soul.
I’m damaged goods;
who would want the
dented can at the store?
Theres rips and tears
upon my heart and mind.
You cannot walk to
me, for i’ve put
spikes to protect myself.
You cannot fly to
me, for the air you breath
is poisoned.
I’ve surrounded myself
on my own island.
Ashamed at what
others took from me.
Embarrassed that i’ve
been abused in the
worst way.
This secret is one we
hold close, “for who
could learn to love me?”
No.
Thats not what i
ask. I ask; how can i
ever let someone
love me?

There is something about how the moon meets the sun
How night can turn our words into deep flowing rivers
Our biggest worries are suddenly little stones

The wind no longer chills our skins into regret
as light reflects between us creating warmth
where shadows used to lie
I’m no longer a stranger to your chasm but
Someone reaching out through seeping waters

I fear these goodbyes
for when I return
time will have passed
and I don’t expect
You to wait

but how I wish
I didn’t have to wait
to come back

I must leave
and I know
You don’t understand
why
but I must

I am in
a season
of waiting

i’m paving way on a path i can’t see
making my way through rose bushes
pretending i don’t feel the ****** of fear
i’m fighting through waves while i sink
pretending i don’t feel the burn in my chest
i’m walking through this murky fog
pretending not to feel the heaviness it brings
pretending to feel iridescent in the face of this
as if i’m not seeping through the floor boards
as life shows me the truth of my choices

grab me and wrap me up
in hope and
possibility

paint my walls white
to erase these
bruises

softly hold my face as my eyes
pour out the worlds
pain

but please

whisper in the night
of your love
as i drift

I’m chasing the sunset,
passing through colored blankets,
Gazing as mountains pass
me by
and water
gleams down bellow
My heart cries
as I think
of my golden fields
and violet blossoms
Light is reflected in
my eyes as I watch
time float
The sun burns the
hue of my blood
So many seasons have
come and gone in my
absence
everything has changed
and I drift on
awaiting your arms
the smell of pine
the feel of the river
on my skin
the color of the fading
day
the curve and
twists of the hills
I call home

My breath fogs as I watch
myself
come home

I’m floating just above your waves,
trying to stay
as you take me away
on a journey I didn’t ask for
so let me rise to the surface
before I drown.

I rubbed the gum wrapper so long my fingers turned green,
as pieces of tin foil fell like dust on this tattered pillow.
i sat obediently calm and quietly observant,
while you judged me for the amount of days i’ve lived
not considering the quality of those days.

I drove home screaming to melodies lost on me,
as the night air whipped my hair into tangles of hurt,
asking what plan He has for a soul like mine,
for no matter where i go, there simply isn’t a place for me.

It’s never a question of smiles gained or looks given,
but rather, the ways i can bend and form to ideas,
and how easily i can lie while waiting for the curtain to drop.

what a beautiful thing
to have a happiness box
filled with
quite mornings with falling snow
white light of a full moon with the ocean breeze caressing
rumble of lightening on the road under the flashing stars
warm sand between toes with sweet fruit on your tongue
peaceful nights as rain gently taps at your window
gental hums of the dishwasher as you fall asleep
her soft hair as she bends her head to cook
creaks of the stairs as they wear time with pride
what a magical thing to remember
your happiness box

bitter, bitter
like a cold sweater
/
bicker, bicker
like an old couple
/
take it, you bold cheater
name it, or you loose it
/
bucket, don't you kick it
find me, later
find me, faker
maker, maker
you money maker
/
write it, down
or you will let it die
/
cause times a tickin'
you old faker

This hallowed ground we stand on
was built on lies,
and I can’t pretend I don’t see it shaking.

There was more to me,
and more to you.

This was a gift,
a blessing to be treasured;
now all we’re digging for is rust.

I thought there was more to you,
but you’re just a plane jane,
wrapped in gold.

Should’ve know these lumps held lies,
but I pretended these holes weren’t made by bullets,
you unleashed.

My sacred love,
is now resting in its grave
as you carve out one more hole,
for me.

Who am I?
To You?
Do you only see silky skin,
    with hair that wraps around you,
        with slow curves,
             little freckles,
                 and warm eyes
      or do you see my soul,
          do you see how it ignites?
Do you feel the beat
        of my heart,
ready to leap,
craving life and it’s glow.
Do you feel my ache?
the burn of marks
        left by careless lovers.
Do you care?
Or am I just another token
        in your jar?

Nature is, what you are not.
It’s fires swallow up forests;
so new life can bloom again,
while the ocean will take back beaches;
when land grows too greedy.
River waters rush and churn,
so only the strong can grow
with the power of evolution.
You burn so soft,
as not to wake the dark, but,
your fire will wither out,
for faint flames-
stand no chance against the wind.
You won’t move forward,
yet you won’t move back,
for fear of rocking the boat.
I say,
let the waters rise,
burn through the weak,
and I will rock this **** ship.
I say,
let's take a swim,
and let the water flip and carry us away;
for you won’t get far on the shore.
I sit and let the storms rage on,
for I’m a tornado of my own.
I just hope you’ll learn that peace,
doesn’t always get the job done.
Take a risk,
rock this **** canoe
and you’ll finally find how to breath.

Sincerely yours,
Raging Fire

All that’s left of him is a picture frame, once looked at over the armchair as coffee brews.
A bar of soap, bought for him in the winter as we slombered along to the dull sound of static.
His watch, worn day in and day out, as his world started and stopped with that watch.
And a small bag that held love letters before those who wrote them claimed them in the estate sale.

There they sit in the cold dark night. Lonely and forgotten. The aftermath of a war, and a fight he lost. And all I can hear in the darkness, is the slow ticking of that watch.

Love is a mending of two hearts
I am a forest fire,
a rickety fan that will never run quite right,
a cup of coffee that warms your soul.

I burn too bright, but fade too fast.
I crave a different tune to which nobody knows.

I want,
No I need,
a steady hum to learn to beat next to,
to walk side by side as equals.

I want to burn in passion, but I need
to breath slowly as we lay in a sheet of knowledge.

I want an outreached arm, but I need
a mountain of freedom to climb.
I want to fit perfectly, but I need
to fit as crookedly as bent spoons.

Give me strength but don’t take away my essence.
Let me be free, but be free with me.
Find my heart but only touch it.