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Jellyfish Sep 2015
You don't know how it feels
to find out there's someone else
and not be able to do anything
to prevent the feelings that will
follow up and eventually take
that one special person that
makes everything okay away
from you..
1.4k · Aug 2016
In Betweens
Jellyfish Aug 2016
I know, I haven't written in a while... Right now,
These 4 walls are the only ones who see me smile.
I don't want to share my pain anymore...
and I don't want to share my happiness either.
I find myself coming back here only during the
in between moments. To look back, to try and find
a piece of why I felt something before. Now it's just
all blurry.
1.4k · Dec 2015
Soraka Flocka Flame
Jellyfish Dec 2015
I am Soraka Flocka Flame,
I go hard in the paint:
I'll make the bad guys go away
because I've got heals for days
that's right- look the other way
you can't handle this type of pain
I can tell that you're afraid.
Don't worry though because
I make everyone feel like this
all of your skill shots are amiss
and I bet I'm making you reminisce
about old times where you were fly
like the other game you played last night
but right now, I'm bringing you down
your teammates are calling you a clown
you're starting to believe you'll get reported
for  **f e e d i n g
It's fun to have fun to be fun with fun.
1.4k · Nov 2016
Under the Ocean Together
Jellyfish Nov 2016
You've stood beside me,
and never let go of my hand.
Even when our feet were
slipping in the sand.

Surrounded by creatures, all around
we stand together
and embrace every sound,
I hope it'll stay this way forever.
I hope it'll stay this way forever, you and me under the ocean together.
Jellyfish Dec 2015
The screen in my window is partially torn
one half is fully attatched while the other..
is caught in the wind that is slowly pulling
it along, waiting for it to let go and flow as
gracefully as the newly falling snow

But I am the other half, holding on for my
life because I'm afraid of heights that the
wind will lift me up to..


The glass that I am protecting is already
broken, so why shouldn't I let go?


                      Don't.


*N
     o
    w

  I
'
   m

        f
          a
            l
              l
          ­      i
              n
            g
          .
        .
This is very different, from what I usually write. At least what I have currently been writing. I hope someone liked it.
1.3k · Feb 23
Alien Everywhere
Jellyfish Feb 23
There's so many different paths I want to run down,
Different places I yearn to see.
I'd like to live somewhere beautiful
Where I can simply be

I fight with myself over the fantasies I keep,
Sometimes I'm sure I'll live somewhere far,
I could have a chicken or two,
My dog could enjoy a huge yard.

Other times I know deep down,
I need convenience and I'd surely fail
Without being somewhere crowded,
Delivery is a privilege.

I don't want the middle between these two places,
Because suburbia was depressing,
Living only two inches away from a bustling family,
I didn't like the times I lived with mine there.

I'd need space undoubtedly.
Then the absurdity starts showing,
I think to myself.. I'll find an abandoned city
Maybe a desserted town like the ones tiktok shows me.

I could pretend I'm in my own story
And the empty streets would be my own
I could wander these houses and see what was left behind...
I think it sounds silly but, it always comes to mind.

If I could live in the house of my dreams
It would be somewhere unimaginable
Underneath the deepest seas.
I'd have glass walls, and a ceiling made of stars

I'd wake up to see jellyfish blooms
And sit in awe, nothing to do
I could swim to the surface somehow
And watch meteors fall

I think what I truly desire
Is somewhere comfortable
Where I can imagine these wishes
Without being bothered by time, or people who don't really care

Or maybe I belong on another planet,
Because I feel alien everywhere.
1.3k · Dec 2015
Losers (10w)
Jellyfish Dec 2015
We're both
sad clowns,
only around
when we're
not wanted.
1.3k · Oct 2015
Enigmatic, Love is
Jellyfish Oct 2015
Why do I fall out of love
after I've fallen in-
only to be heart broken
over and over again..?
Is this the end
because I don't want it to be
please tell me that I'm dreaming
..this is all just a  blurry  mess
and I won't be left behind again
if I'm left once more to wallow
I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it.
1.3k · Aug 2015
Broken-Up (10w)
Jellyfish Aug 2015
I'm starting to feel like a dilapidated building; beat-up.
1.3k · Mar 2016
Helium High; Death Tonight
Jellyfish Mar 2016
I breathe it in from the end
Of this balloon that I'm holding
and blow it back in
I keep inhaling,
I'm finally doing it.
I'm getting out.
No more worries;
No more doubts
Because now my lungs are helium doused .
I had a dream about this and thought I'd write about it.
1.3k · Oct 2023
Autumn Nights
Jellyfish Oct 2023
Golden leaves are bright
I love the hue of the sky
Fall brings me so much joy
Even I enjoy autumn nights

My favorite movie's playing
My dog is by my feet
I'm surrounded in a popcorn blanket
and can laugh genuinely

Sometimes I wish I could share this
But for the first time in a while
I feel happy alone with my dog
Drinking hot chocolate with the window open
1.3k · Oct 2016
I Want You With Me
Jellyfish Oct 2016
I'm curled up in this blanket
listening to the noises outside, it's raining.
I'm wishing your arms were around me
I want you here beside me.

The rain is hitting my window hard
kind of like what you do to my heart
thump, thump, bang, bang...
it's onomatopoeia all throughout day.

I want nothing more than for you to feel the same.
1.3k · Aug 2015
Sick
Jellyfish Aug 2015
I want to push you out of me
I don't want to need you the
way that I seem to.
But you've always been there
so it's kind of hard to do.
Honestly I just want the best
for you
So I'll disappear into the dark
I'm a wanderess already,
never sick of the rain that's
flooding me.
1.3k · Oct 2023
Untitled
Jellyfish Oct 2023
When I look at the poems from my past,
Sometimes I smile.
Then I feel mad.
The age I was, becomes so apparent to me.

The younger version of me feels some kind of, well, something.
Each time I take a trip down memory lane
It's hard to not feel something when I remember the pain.

But when I look at the situation today,
After all that I've encountered...
Each stone I've flipped over, and
every waterfall I've checked behind,

I feel so mad at you.

Even the poems we wrote back and forth,
They're so childish, you reference cartoons.
I would have done anything for you,
You plucked me out of my broken world and threw me onto the rift.

I fell asleep at night telling myself stories about an empty apartment with a mattress.
It's so uncomfortable now to look back at.
The fact that you were the hope I had for my future.

It's not okay and I'll never stop thinking this way.
Another poem tonight because I'm mad after looking back
1.3k · Dec 2016
My Aquarium Dream
Jellyfish Dec 2016
In this aquarium of life
we are all swimming along
I luckily have found
just where I belong;
...beside you.

In my aquarium dream
you're next to me
we're floating
together, with no worries.

We're happy.
I'll be your friend until the end of time, I hope to stay by your side.
1.3k · Feb 2016
You're Being Stupid
Jellyfish Feb 2016
Angry tears are falling
when you ask me why
they worsen, and now
angry words are spoken.

Stop trying to control me
since when was I banned
from showing my emotions
even in private I can't recall.

But you of all people should know
that locking me away from the world
will not strengthen our bond,
it will worsen unwanted hatred.
1.3k · Oct 2014
Untitled
Jellyfish Oct 2014
He was my one and only,
Even when we felt as if we were descending
He's still stuck in the deepest oceans within my heart
He's loving even when he's falling apart,
Everyday without him feels so off to me..
That's not even the beginning to why I'll be his eternally.
1.3k · Oct 2016
18
Jellyfish Oct 2016
18
I wish that we could talk longer,
but I know you need your sleep.
I know you think you're boring
but I think your words are deep.

I love reading your stories
and often anticipate the next,
I fear mine aren't as entertaining
but you listen, nevertheless.

I think of you a lot
especially after our good nights,
My devilishly handsome husband,
you're the best part of my life.
I love being your wife.
1.3k · Aug 2015
Fade Away Already
Jellyfish Aug 2015
Because of you,*
my favorite shades of blue are now ugly.
Everything that you ever told me is now
some form of anxiety I don't want to hear
sometimes I wish you'd just disappear..
1.2k · Oct 2015
Helpless Waiting
Jellyfish Oct 2015
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror
while in tears, you're telling yourself repeatedly:
just hang on, one more day, hour, minute, second..
but you feel and look so helpless..?
1.2k · Jul 2021
You lie to me
Jellyfish Jul 2021
You hide the truth.
Everything you say to me
feels like glue.
I get stuck in it
and don't know what to do...
I always end up finding out the truth,
just not from you.
You lie to me, intentionally or not, you hide the truth. It shocks me like a broken wire, it makes me feel like I'm on fire. I don't know how to be around you and not feel used up.
1.2k · Feb 2016
Close the distance
Jellyfish Feb 2016
I know we're never really apart; only far
from eachother.

But I can't wait to feel you in my arms.
1.2k · Nov 2015
Untitled
Jellyfish Nov 2015
Why have you stopped writing
little nothings that hold such big
meanings?

I long to read your words and
hear your whimsical voice and
the sounds that escape your
mouth when you laugh.. Just
tell me what I need to say to
bring everything back..

I know right now you're surrounded
by the darkness; lost within your mind
and what's around you that makes you
want to (maybe)  cry?

I'm trying to be supportive and stick to
your side- I'm sorry that I'm at a loss
for words; and that I'm not sure why.

I'm supposed to know what to say, aren't I?
1.2k · Oct 2017
Free Floating
Jellyfish Oct 2017
I'm trying so hard to just keep swimming,
but more often than not, the Orcas visit me.
I'm more so floating, similar to the Velella
I keep going until I can't take anymore,
then end up washed up with the shore.
1.2k · Nov 2023
Hidradenitis Suppurativa
Jellyfish Nov 2023
Everything is connected,
I feel like a volcano that has been dormant
but want to release all of my tension.
I want to show you my emotions;

So you can see I'm not a doormat,
I just keep my feelings below the surface,
It's resulted in my body doing the same
Which is why I'm in constant pain.

My trauma has created tunnels of magma,
I can't tell where they end or begin
It's frightening and leaves me upset,
There's no one I can share this with.

I hope for one day to lay out my feelings,
Let everything flow;
Like tears, they'll roll out of me
Covering everyone I've allowed to see

Then will come the tricky thing,
to never bottle anything again.
I don't want to reap havoc on them,
I want to stay empty and peaceful

To know where I end and begin,
It would solve something, wouldn't it?
But I feel like a volcano.
Physically and within.
The mind and body are connected.
1.2k · Nov 2016
The Moon Together (10w)
Jellyfish Nov 2016
The moon is so big, let's go live on it.
1.2k · Sep 2015
Temperament
Jellyfish Sep 2015
Picture an anti-social pessimist
who fears her own existence
should probably get a therapist
but that's just not in her element.
always has a Nemesis
She wants to be affectionate
but she feels unwanted;
desolate.
Jellyfish Aug 2015
It looks like we're gonna see the sun rise again this morning I can't help but wonder if you noticed as well that we will see the colors within the sky swell. The last time I saw it I was reminded of The Lion King it's so interesting the way the little things can get to me I wanted to watch it rise for a longer amount of time than I really had in fact; it makes me kind of sad that I didn't. And now my sleeping schedule is all out of wack wow, Rebecca. Why'd you do that? I just couldn't help it, don't you want to see the ocean of colors in the sky as well? I can't stop myself from picturing diving into the sky, I never learnt how to swim but I trust I'd only cause splashing to emerge from the happiness that these colors fill me with- I'd like to believe they'd hold me. **I won't drown.
1.2k · Jan 2018
Who am I?
Jellyfish Jan 2018
Who am I?
Someone tell me because I don't know, all I know is that I'm scared of myself and hurting. I don't like the way I'm turning. I hate myself and can feel the burning. I'm not infuriated I'm just sad. I'm a sad shell of a person who lost themself in someone else; something else. What did I ever really want? When did I change and why? Who am I? Someone tell me because I don't recognize who's looking back at me in the mirror. What I see is a whirlpool full of my deepest fears.
1.2k · Sep 2015
Are you there?
Jellyfish Sep 2015
I don't want to sleep without you anymore
too many times I've looked to my phone
in the middle of the night, longing for your
presence; I want to inhale your essence
let me hold you in my arms and explain
how often I picture us touching.
Lets close in the distance and
become one human; individual
no more waiting for us.
If you let me try again
I swear I won't mess up..
Just let me look over and
see the timer on my skype
slowly going up, telling me
that our call is still intact
I don't want to leave your
heart cracked..
Please tell me that you're
still there....
1.2k · Nov 2016
Fear and Excitement
Jellyfish Nov 2016
A tear finds its way down my cheek
I smile and hide my face in a pilllow
It's been a somewhat long week
But now that it's coming to an end
And I know what's about to happen...
It's becoming so difficult for me to stay calm
Because my heart is turning to liquid.
Your voice simply melts it,
I can't begin to imagine how I'll react in person,
I'm nervous...
But I'm excited too.
There's no one else I'd rather be with than you.
1.2k · Dec 2016
Untitled
Jellyfish Dec 2016
I wish I'd stop freaking out.
1.2k · Dec 2014
Untitled
Jellyfish Dec 2014
You're adorable in every way imaginable,
You've caught my eye and pulled me out-
From that blind, situation.
It's as if you intended to emancipate me-
From my fears.
You gave me a reason to not shed my tears.
It's almost like you can read my mind from-
The inside.
And it's so nice,
To feel like,
Someone understands,
My insights.
1.2k · Oct 2023
25 and blind to myself
Jellyfish Oct 2023
I get ****** into expectations
I'm 25 but can't tell you what faith is.
I shut down when I think about saying no,
I guess I still care about what my family knows.

I'm 25 but 12 inside,
I don't know myself and tend to hide.
I have taxes, bills, a dog; my own life
But I'm still the girl who escapes online

I hate to hear their judgements; their insights
I try to connect through words
But say the wrong things,
and get lectured through sighs.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong,
I've tried and tried to find the cause,
I'm so frustrated, but go in circles
I keep looking for our bond.

What I really want is to disappear
Shut my eyes to the relief of tears.
To wake up as strums in the air,
To be a part of my own song.
I feel so dumb. I'm an adult but don't know what I'm doing. I don't know who I am or what I want or need. I feel like an answer to someone else's question
1.2k · Nov 2015
The Moon Knows Why
Jellyfish Nov 2015
The moon is really bright tonight
we're partially drunk and having
a fight.

*All that I know is the moon knows why.
1.1k · Nov 2015
With Him (10w)
Jellyfish Nov 2015
I'd rather fight with him than laugh with someone else.
1.1k · Oct 2015
Constant Thinking
Jellyfish Oct 2015
I take another sip of this drink that kills me
sit back in my chair and think about things
negative, positive, foolish and embarrasing
everything basically is flooding my mind.
I wonder why the Earth continues to spin
when my world is stuck in a never ending death wish
I turn on some music and try to forget about it.
1.1k · Feb 2016
Bandaids
Jellyfish Feb 2016
I've been scratched and pinched and bruised
but none of those things came from you.
1.1k · Sep 2015
I'm Completed
Jellyfish Sep 2015
You're so ******* perfect
in every way I can imagine
I just want to feel you beside
my empty self.

I want to help you see that
there could never be anyone
else who could possibly
complete me

the shaken when in public-
full of unwanted angst and
hatred-
too afraid to step out the door
and live-
girl that just wants to take that
step with you..

She somehow finds love and
comfort inside of that silly
smile that appears on a face
that just so happens to be yours

she wants to tell you that she
plans to stay put, beside you.
she doesn't want anybody else.
Because she is completed,
finally not tangled in sadness daily
let me tell you, she was glad to throw
that paper away..

*It's thanks to a tall boy who has a
laugh that makes her heart flutter
in a way she didn't know it could.
1.1k · Jul 2015
Losing You
Jellyfish Jul 2015
I don't want to..
You're everything that I want..
So perfect, but at the same time, not.
Am I going crazy? Please don't give up on me.
I'll do anything to show you, how much you shine..
                                             *Inside of this torn heart of mine.
1.1k · May 2017
Together, With You
Jellyfish May 2017
Forever is a long time,
but can I spend it together, with you?
I wanna be with you
1.1k · Jul 2015
I Love You.
Jellyfish Jul 2015
Thank you for always being there.
I know that you're not going anywhere.
I appreciate everything that you say to me.
You've helped me learn to think more freely.
And for that I'll never be able to thank you enough.
Maybe this emotion I'm feeling is stronger than love.
1.1k · Dec 2018
Unraveling
Jellyfish Dec 2018
I hear his laugh
and the world stops spinning.
No one ever told me how good it felt
to just be happy.

To take a look at your life
and know what's happening.
Even if it's still the beginning
things can change so fast.

I never thought I'd move out
I always believed I'd be sad forever,
that I'd end up settling for someone
who always hurt me and made me cry.

Today I'm happy.
I can see my future unraveling.
I am in love with my best friend,
and I don't know what will happen tomorrow...

But I know it will be okay.
I'm finally in a place where I feel kind of comfortable. I'm not thinking about death everyday or feeling unevitably sad when I wake up. I feel like I will be okay and am hopeful.
1.1k · Mar 3
Mother's Coming
Jellyfish Mar 3
I'm anxious,
You called and said you want to meet
A few hours away,
With her and me.

You know about the drama,
The way I feel about things
I'm sure she's said more
But which will you believe?
1.1k · Mar 2016
A Suicidal Mindset
Jellyfish Mar 2016
I didn't ask to be born.
Did I give you permission to have me?
I'm just not cut out for this, really...
I think about suicide constantly
Everyday I question my sanity
Am I okay? Stop starring at me!
You're only worsening my anxiety
They saw me crying.
I don't want them to think that I'm attention-seeking
Because I'm not:
I just have a lot of ****** up thoughts.
One day I'm calm and the next I feel forgot-
Ten: they told me when I grew up I'd be that number
Not someone who's chubby and refuses to go to slumber, part-ies
They were just never for me
But don't get me wrong I tried to participate
Just no one ever really included me unless it was a one-on-one standing
I get it, I'm a fill in.
That's always been my role
Someone who's just there
For when others couldn't be.
That's me.
The girl I'll hit up tomorrow because my other friend is busy
On a new note I'm about to be 18
My parents could kick me
out or disown me
Send me on my way
As if they never had known me
I'll eventually be on my own
That's the point of this right?
To witness someone's life and
Then toss them aside but say
That you'll be there until the end of time?
Right?
Wrong
I always feel that way when
I'm singing this song
Titled: strife
It makes me not want to go on
But it remains
Always in my veins
It tells me to stay
On the worst of days
It triggers me hard
I just want to go away
Just let me already
Why must I stay steady
Can't you tell I'm not sturdy
And just want to yell
At everybody
I'm in tears already
As I pull the cord on this bag
Helium fills my lungs
I no longer feel sad
I laugh continuously
As I'm  being poisoned
I'm mad; crazy
I forgot to write a note
Don't hate me
You all knew me in the past
For a time being
You had your chances with me
There was no right or wrong
I was just always singing a different song
So don't feel bad for my no longer going on
I was never meant to be here
Please. Stay strong.
I didn't know what else to title this.
1.1k · Jul 2015
Engaging Boy
Jellyfish Jul 2015
Tears slip over my smile.
My eyes are stinging,
But I am happy.
I have him.
At least for a while.
This enthralling boy.
He catches my eye,
I want to talk to him,
All the time.
He is humorous,
But also serious at times.
He is so different from me.
It's somehow a great thing.
Everyday there is something new.
He's someone I want to fall into.
Embrace me, won't you?
..Engaging boy.
1.1k · Oct 2015
Twisted Emotions
Jellyfish Oct 2015
There are still days where I'm iffy
and want to run away from this place,
I'm entangled inside of empty space.
Some days I think that I'll be okay
I'm no longer contemplating
the way that I once did
but other days
I disagree
with not only me
but everything
I would like
to disappear
because of
these
*twisted emotions.
1.1k · Jul 2015
Into Alaskan Waters
Jellyfish Jul 2015
My heart is sinking as I step into the Chukchi Sea.
Off from Alaska's beach into this water, which is -40 degrees.
I'm freezing inside of a blanket, weaved from a fabric called sadness.
If this is your way of leaving me behind,
I'll allow the waves to swallow me.
As you're watching, I continue sinking. It's as if you've gone blind.
The person I remember, wouldn't have stood there watching.
Which leads me to believe you don't truly care, is that it?
1.1k · Feb 2017
Horrible Person
Jellyfish Feb 2017
How dare you.
How, DARE, you.
Try to talk to me...
as if you don't remember anything.

I trusted you back then
when I needed a friend,
you were nothing of the sort!
You were the opposite.

I try my best, I try really hard
to leave grudges in my past...
but I have a dreaded feeling
that this grudge for you, may last.

Pretending to be there for me,
patting my back so comfortingly.
When really all you were doing
was luring me in.

Down to last second.
Before I was faint,
I swear I remember
the smile on your face.

I can't stand it.
How easily you decided my fate.
How do ******* live with yourself?
You make me feel things I can't bare to say.
1.1k · Jan 2015
You're My World
Jellyfish Jan 2015
It may sometimes seem like,
I'm not showing enough empathy,
It's just not one of my best qualities.
I'm always worrying honestly.

Wondering if you're alright,
If you're sleeping okay at night.
Hoping you're having a nice day,
Just keep that in mind, okay?

Because I want you to know,
That I'm here for you always.
Even if I'm not there physically,
I'm holding you close from far away.
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