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Motivation is a fleeting feeling.
Discipline is a bridge to my goals.
Discomfort is a stepping stone to growth.
In the depths of our friendship's sea,
A jellyfish necklace binds you and me.
Silver and pretty, it once shone bright,
A token of love and shared delight.

But I leaned on you, like a child in need,
A caregiver's role, you didn't foresee.
Guilt fills my heart, for the burden I placed,
Yet I know it's not an excuse to embrace.

You're the jellyfish necklace I used to wear,
Beautiful and captivating, but hard to bear.
For you bring out the worst in me,
A love too strong, an attachment I can't see.

I sought shelter in your guiding light,
A refuge from darkness, day and night.
But the weight I placed upon your soul,
Has taken its toll, now I know.

The jellyfish necklace holds secrets untold,
A symbol of the roles we unfold.
In my quest for solace, I caused you pain,
Now I must learn to stand on my own again.

You're the jellyfish necklace I used to wear,
Beautiful and captivating, but hard to bear.
For you bring out the worst in me,
A love too strong, an attachment I can't see.

Like ocean waves, our friendship sways,
I must learn to mend my own broken ways.
Acknowledging the wounds, seeking healing's embrace,
Rebuilding our bond, through much needed space.

You're the jellyfish necklace I used to wear,
Beautiful and captivating, but hard to bear.
For you bring out the worst in me,
A love too strong, an attachment I can't see.

Though scars may linger, we'll find our way,
Together we'll navigate the choppy waves.
No longer dependent, but intertwined,
A friendship reborn, with strength we'll find.
Maybe we can be close again?
Bathed in trauma, poured on you,
Blindly making excuses, I didn't have a clue,
Unintended harm was not my aim,
I swear, from my heart, that's the truth I claim.

Just give me a chance to prove I can change,
Don't turn away, let's break this estrange,
I've learned my lessons, I'm ready to grow,
I can transform, this I truly know.

Lost in the past, flipping photo albums' pages,
Seeking smiles, wondering through the ages,
But now I see the present with fresh eyes,
Fixing what's wrong, no more disguise.

A shared prison, unaware we both dwelled,
Failed to communicate, the stories we withheld,
I tried to speak of demons deep within,
Unaware they held me tight, drowning in their sin.

I plead for a chance, believe I can mend,
Break free from the covers, where the pain won't extend,
Yesterday's weight won't hold us down,
Together we'll rise, wearing courage as our crown.

Glimpsing photos, memories of distant travels,
Questioning why joy seemed to unravel,
But it's not about them, or what they comprehend,
Finding my worth, letting my true self ascend.

Losing my muse, an ache deep within,
Placing you on a pedestal, where love had once been,
Our best memories like a festival's delight,
But I clung too tightly, clouding our sight.

Hurting you, hurting myself, a tangled mess,
I thought I suffered more, but it was just a guess,
Overloaded with clichés, patched on our dark days,
Unaware I was the setup, before the closing phrase.

Keep donning your cape socks, a symbol of strength,
In the end, you shaped me, helping me find my true length
Maybe to learn to let go, you have to be left alone, even if you kick and scream when they leave.
Realizing the mayhem sprinkled into my past
has left such a sour taste with me
it's put my emotions on blast;
finally seeing what happened to me.

I'm beginning to feel better
after having picked out the reminders,
but the child in me is bitter
and wants to see them covered in spiders.
They shouldn't have went there.
When I die...
Will you visit me sometimes?
Wearing a nice suit,
Would you leave flowers by my name
and say a few words to get through a bad day?
You hide the truth.
Everything you say to me
feels like glue.
I get stuck in it
and don't know what to do...
I always end up finding out the truth,
just not from you.
You lie to me, intentionally or not, you hide the truth. It shocks me like a broken wire, it makes me feel like I'm on fire. I don't know how to be around you and not feel used up.
I binged today. Normally I'd say, "it's okay."
but the truth is that it's not
I wish it weren't so hard to stop, but I have a disorder
One that many people just don't understand.

It's like I have a hole I can't fill inside of me
one that keeps telling me I need to eat more
"You're not full yet, eat this, eat that!" My stomach tricks me
Until it doesn't and I feel the consequences of my actions.

If only I could stop myself.
The people who think it's as easy as telling yourself no are wrong
I spend money on food that I think will help me,
try to create a new habit called "eating healthy."

My disorder just laughs at this.
Because it knows what I'll do the next time I'm feeling anything
I'll go order a McDonalds number 3 large,
or go to the grocery and fill up my cart.

I'll get home and eat it too quickly til I can't move anymore
Then cry and feel angry that I'm too afraid to throw it up.
This is why I distance myself during the holidays. All the food gets to me. Why'd I have to cancel my therapy?
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