How They asked Can you Hate That which others hold so dear That which is the product Of your blood sweat and tears
How can you Hate That which you create
The answer I give Always the same It was piece I made it out of vain It exist Just because of pain It's worth Justified by those who say
What a beautiful piece of art
Unfortunately burned into my brain The praise of the piece The one I hate
I really hate the poem I wrote called rain and this is honestly how I feel about it. I haven't taken it down as a lot of people seem to enjoy it but I feel the emotion is just what people want to hear. It doesn't really mean anything so much as it was just how I felt at a time.
I never get a ******* break. Your that annoying sound from the dead fire alarms just chirping away at me. It never stops. I open my mouth and am silenced by you. Your words of fire and rage. I don’t know who’s winning. You or my mind. I can’t ever get a ******* break from this mess of a world. Too many tasks with too little time. Struggling to do right. Your hellish yells don’t do anything but feed the fire of my anger. The very anger that disrupts my ability to do what I need to do. Running around like your messenger. I just can’t ever catch a ******* break.
You think you deserve something but life slaps you upon the head and throws you down reminding you that after all you've doneyou don't deserve **** I had a strokeabout a week ago and there as a possibility of me getting to go home today instead of tomorrow but my blood level dropped to an undesirable rate this causing me to have to stay longer missing my oldest sisters funeral. I thought I would get to go buy that's was just life toying with my emotions again. I have a constant thought on"You don't deserve to be happy Ben!You don't deserve happiness. You can't pretend to be a good guy every now and then. it's such a disappoint to know I could've made my love better but now with all these life threatening hospitalizations and not knowinghow long I have left to live it just leaves me with such disappointment. I've always wished I could restart my life over andbe a better man but I know that's impossible just another disappointment that I get to live with I use to lash out in anger but that isn't going to change anything and it's a waste of time
I experienced astrokelast week and b it had brought so much annoyance and disappointment to my mind yet again because I was taken off a medication to soon because of an oversight of some clinic nurses and now I have a mind to sue them because of their **** up I could've died this time