Closed off to the world,
That’s where I’m secure.
Terrified; so up I’ve curled,
Perhaps, this way I will endure.
I fear the unknown,
How can I face it?
I try to argue on my own,
But will the judge acquit?
I am comfortable,
Is that so wrong?
You call me a vegetable,
I resemble that, so I belong.
Can I bridge the gap between?
Is it getting nearer or farther?
I’ll just sit – observe the scene,
Change? What’s the bother?
In the past, this or that,
Not what I thought it’d be.
I can’t stand their chit-chat,
Talking always turns out crumby.
Who predicts the future?
None but God alone.
So I sit here in a stupor,
Apathy – now full-blown.
If I can’t know what to expect,
I might as well not do anything.
Of this – guilty – a viable suspect.
My uselessness: like a napkin ring.
If I venture into newness,
Evil surely awaits.
Positive outcomes in fewness,
I only see dire straits.
Let the world leave me in the dust,
You’ll see if I care!
It’s always been so prejudiced.
As long as I’m happy, that’s fair.
I’ll stay here and be constant,
I’ll let others make mistakes.
Fail? I’m too important.
I mean, for goodness sakes!
I can’t just end this here,
That was me in the past.
My pride – nothing dared interfere.
But God did, the obstacle passed.
I’ve learned more about losing,
I’ve lost more than I’m winning.
My victories, all by God’s choosing,
My choices are all towards learning.
You could me on quote, this:
“I had pride in my humility,”
A contradiction I always miss.
I focus now on vulnerability.
Because when I choose,
To choose spontaneity,
A boring life it eschews.
Abundant life, takes responsibility.