Your smile is a million suns
The galaxy never knows night
When you're happy.


-- Eleanor

We can either hate or admire
the people who have the talent we don't.


F.Z.**N

It's not love that leads to disappointment
But rather attachment.


-- Eleanor

Your love for me stops
Where her lips begin.
My love for you lives
In every place we've been.


-- Eleanor

I feel like a stranger
Stuck in another stranger's body.


-- Eleanor

He stabbed me in the back
And **** ***** me.

A lover?
No. Love itself.


-- Eleanor

I thought I forgot you
I thought I long had you buried
Deep in my memory.
I thought you could no longer haunt me
Like you used to do so often.
I thought I got over you
Until your eyes met mine today,
Once or twice at most and that was about it.

I couldn't look at you,
I couldn't look at you without bursting into tears,
So I burst into laughter instead.
And I suppose that you saw through my fake act.
Anyway...

You were there in your corner,
There in your pedestal,
There in your elegance
Drawing something dangerously beautiful
And you were beautifully dangerous.
And I,
I could only watch you from a distance
And learn to admire you
Without touching you,
Without kissing you,
Or ******* you.

We exchanged a conversation
About random things
You know, like
How it took me about an hour
To take a proper picture of the cat you gave me,
How it tragically died,
How I didn't cry when it died...
But I actually did cry when it died...

You looked all right, seriously.
There in your peaceful world
That I no longer was part of.
There in your artistic mind,
There in your capacity to forget,
There in your tendency to break promises,
There in the awful effect you always have on me.

So you said goodbye
Because you had something to go back to.
I said goodbye
Even though I had nothing to go back to.

We parted ways once again,
Me with your drawing pencil in my bag
And you, you my dear, with a piece of me
Inside your pocket.

I remember you once said forever, but you only lied.
I went home,
I went home and cried.


-- Eleanor

When I met you the soil was wet
Underneath cloudy skies
And so were your eyes.

Now it's the summer,
everything is dry
You must say goodbye.


F.Z.**N

I sailed you
Like an ocean.
And you were
As blue,
As deep,
As dangerous.


— Eleanor

You are annoying
And I hate you.
But my eyes,
My eyes suggest otherwise.


F.Z.**N

**** life, man.
**** it to the bone.


F.Z.**N

Wooden hands
Bruising random shapes
On my bare thighs.
Wooden hands
Leaving me covered
In rainbow lies.

And when wooden hands
Cross my mind,
They come in the form
Of sunshine.


F.Z.N

I always liked chocolate
And perhaps that's why
I fell in love with your eyes.


F.Z.N

You were my umbrella and my parasol
Always sheltering me,
Always protecting me.

But now that you are gone
I cry tears like rain
And burn inside like a flame.

An umbrella and a parasol
Protecting me
From the moody
Weather
That is me.


F.Z.N

Broken
Easily fixed
Broken
Fixed
Broken
Hardly fixed
Broken
Thrown away

Lost


F.Z.N

You looked me in the eye
With the same smile you gave me
A long time ago.
You let me order your coffee for you
I knew which one
It's still the same
From a long time ago.

I laughed about the jokes you told me
You laughed at how unfunny
Mine were
And you playfully hit me
I frowned, you laughed,
I laughed, you laughed again
And said sorry
Just like you did
A long time ago.

The worst of it all
Was that when your hand
Accidentally brushed mine
I shivered
Just like I did
A long long time ago.


-- Eleanor

I looked at you
The way an artist
Would look at a naked woman.
Your bottom lip was designed
For kissing,
Your hands for crafting,
And there was a picture in every moment
I have shared with you.

I saw that we fit together
So very perfectly,
But the subjective camera
Was only me.


--Eleanor

You smelled of life
And hope and a future ahead.
I smelled of ennui instead.

You took me to your bed
And ****** with my head.


F.Z.**N

I can't sleep tonight;
I am longing for a message.


--Eleanor

I can't sing,
Or play the piano.
I can't draw
Like you do.

But I love you.


-- Eleanor

With you I am myself.
With everybody else, I am a stranger.


F.Z.N

Entire universes could exist
Between two people, he truthfully said.


F.Z.**N

In two hours
I will be happy
For an hour.
But in three
I will get back
To being
Unhappy.


F.Z.**N

I totally adore
How you blend in the crowd
But when we're alone
You become you.


-- Eleanor

I come from darkness
And such as a moth
Beating itself
To death
Against a flame,
In your arms, I burn
Just the same.


F.Z.N

The lonely tear
Upon your cheek
It settles.


F.Z.**N

I gave you the key to my heart
Even though the door was already
Open for you.
I was naked and vulnerable
Before your eyes
And I was fully dressed.
I was yours
And you weren't mine.


--Eleanor

I
go
to
bed
with
the
thought
of
you
under
my
pillow
and
it
directly
transfers
to
my
dreams.*


F.Z.N

And we're all
Just passing the time
Trying to forget
We're going to die


F.Z.**N

I don't care that you left, you know.
All you took was my happiness.


F.Z.**N

I met someone today and he was awesome.
He wore a leather  jacket, almost the same as yours.
He had a neat haircut but a funny beard.
Do you remember when
I used to always pester you
About trimming yours?
I did it all the time and you never listened.

Anyway, he told me a joke;
One that I've heard before and that still
Made me laugh like the world was about to end.
I think I know where I heard it the first time.
He also ordered your milkshake, I mean ours.
And smoked the same brand of cigarettes
You always did.

He was awesome because he took me for a ride
On his Harley Davidson and gave me his helmet
The way you always did.

He was awesome because he winked
At random girls and smiled at me
The way you always did.

He was awesome because he listened to the blues
The way you always did.

He was awesome because he reminded me of you.
Baby I think I still love you.


F.Z.**N

You pushed me off of a boat
And watched me.
You watched me drown.


- Eleanor

I am not lonely today
The trees are shivering
The skies are weeping
With me
Nature is having
One lazy dream
And we're all stuck in it
Equally suffering.


F.Z.N

I can't see you today
I'm busy burning.


F.Z.N

I look up to a pale blue sky
With apologetic eyes
And a heart so very filled
With dim.
Take me back
To the empty box I was
Before I began feeding myself
Gin and jokes of grim.
God, please wash me off my sin,
Or take this foolish thick layer
Of skin.


-- Eleanor

It is the summer
And the days,
The days,
They are horribly
Terribly
Long.

I miss you.


F.Z.**N

Does your heart
Rule your ego,
Or does your ego
Rule your heart?

Nearly two years ago
You'd smile because you liked me,
Then you'd smile because you loved me.
God you'd even smile
Because I made you so angry
You wanted to **** me and kiss me at the same time.

What I mean is that you smiled at me
For so many reasons, countless reasons really.

Even now you still do it,
I mean, don't get me wrong
You smile at me

Out of common courtesy.


F.Z.**N

People ask me where I've been
I say, in a dream, a remote reality
Perhaps a part in this world
And a part in the other.


F.Z.N

Bones under my house
Bones, many of them
Buried by dogs
Brothers and sisters
Proud of their shame
Ashamed of their pride.


F.Z.**N

God took the rain
And he tossed it in my eyes
And said, save this.
Save this for a bad day.
Save this for the bad day.
And when he leaves you
Cry it all away,
Use it all up,
And the sun will shine again.


F.Z.**N

I fell for you
Because I thought that you were different.
That's what generally happens.
But maybe I wasn't mistaken,
Maybe you were different
But our love wasn't.

At first people are strangers then they become friends.
With you and me, it's the other way around.
We were friends, now we're strangers.


F.Z.N

When I was little I dreamt I was a stringless kite
flying freely in the sky, I was the out-of-control wild
type you could never manage to keep quiet.
But when I met you, things somewhat changed and
you brought me back on land and showed me that
what I needed wasn't exactly in the sky but rather
right beside you. I decided to give away my wings
for one taste of your witty tongue and dangerous
love. The only problem is that deep within me, and
even though I had legs that I wasn't exactly designed
to use, a hint of feeling out-of-place
would always disguise itself in the most subtle
ways you would always detect and hate, absolutely
hate about me.

The idea of dying so I am finally free was tempting,
I've got to admit it was the only thing left about
that long gone dreamy girl you managed to
change completely. And it's all confusing because
no matter how hard I try to get away, I always
find myself stuck inside my brain thinking
about the way your lips form when you say
you love me. And I bet you hate the way mine
do when I say I don't want you. But baby,
if it hadn't been for you, I would have
probably ceased to exist by now.

Maybe I simply wanted you to love me
with my flaws and pain and sorrow
and everything that's me.

And maybe you cannot do that because
no human can love unconditionally.


F.Z.N

We are apart
Like a broken heart.


F.Z.**N

I have dreams that I once was
A free majestic albino peacock,
Jewellery trapped under a rock.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams  that I once was
An old tree covered in snow,
Winds that took an eastern blow.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams that I once was
A poor little drowning fish,
A silver ring left to tarnish.
I have dreams that I never was.

I have dreams that I once was
A lot of things and one thing,
But I never was anything.
I have dreams that I once was.


--Watercolour

Words smoothly floating
On the waters
Endlessly travelling
Looking for lovers
To cherish them in their hearts
Before giving them meaning
In sore lips
In lonely paper
They come to life
And learn to swim.


F.Z.N

I wish they invented
A sorrow cleaner
That would **** up
Pain and loneliness
Into its vacuum
So you would never
Complain again
About the shattered bits
Of my heart
That I left on your carpet
The day we parted ways.


F.Z.N

Cheers to silence
When she calls
And you leave.
Cheers to how fast
She makes
Your heart beat.
Cheers to your new love.
Cheers to what I don't have
Any more...


F.Z.**N

You are grey and boring
And slowly fading
Like old paint,
Like a dream at dawn.
You are disappearing
Into darkness
Like a shadow on the wall.
You are vanishing
Like the sound of your voice
Saying I want you,
Like the sound of your footsteps
Moving towards the door.
There is nothing any more.


F.Z.N