In the middle of the night, I toss and turn screaming out your name
Knowing that even if you take me back, things will never be the same
Lying in this cage.
Lost on closed off ways
in which to succeed and to thrive
I fall into myself and do a head dive
Inside the depths of sadness
No one seems to have the time or investment to place in you
you have talents
but when you cannot prove them
you start to fade empty too.
How do I escape this debt and pain of the lack of people?
How do I prove myself as I do try so very hard
as I still feel chained like a car inside an impound yard
you have the strength of hope and grab ******* strength
trying to pull yourself out of hell by light's rope.
Send me a signal
and I'll work hard to repay you
Leave me to rot..to fester..to fear another tick of the clock
and you have sat back to watch a good soul
as your failure to aid in his darkest hours
take on his sanity..a heavy toll.
When it was midnight and
we had nowhere to go.
When it was sunshine and
we had nothing to show.
When it was raining
we were down in pool.
When it was winter
we were too cool to be cool.
When in May
we finally found the shelter.
When in December
we lost another member.
When finally things went well
we saw another loss.
When things went south
we took another toss.
When sun rose again
we didn't trust its light.
When the night spread
we lived in its moonlight.
do you ever feel like you are a scrap piece of paper,
people use you as a test since you have no worth,
like if you never existed people wouldn't even notice,
crumpled up and tossed to the floor to soon be forgotten,
who would remember something so completely ordinary,
lined up and picked off to assert your worth,
never picked but left to rot alone soaked in bitter tears,
does it ever get better,
for now, i sit in a corner and question my worth
Feelings stretched as if an old loose rubber band
At night, I would toss and turn
Toss and turn feeling the weight of the universe
In my shoulders
In the morning, I would feel less ******
As if the moonlight has ****** out my feelings completely
Left me only with the aftermath of my own war
An empty feeling
toss turn toss turn toss turn
weight wait weight wait weight
push pull push pull push pull
go stay go stay go stay go stay
fingers throat fingers throat
oh please stay five more minutes
turn the sun switch off and throw
your blue blanket over my eyes
i am drowning in a sea of sheets
and thirty eight daily battles but
you took away my anchor so i've
drifted off the grid with no boat
water lungs water lungs water
water lungs water lungs breathe in
sink sink sink sink sink sink sink
I'm a coin.
Pick me up
make your call.
Toss me up
play your luck.
One side is love;
one side is lust.
Someone to f**k;
someone to trust.
Cup of tea,
Shot of whiskey,
This night just seems not to end
It stretches on much to my chagrin
I lay in this bed trapped in this skin
Why must life be this way
Why must lonely nights lead into sorrowful day
Why must in my head all these thoughts play
As I lay here and wait for the light
Trying to decide if I should give up the fight
But I don't live for myself so I haven't the right
So I just toss and I turn
Stressed and stomach churns
And my scars just burn
Maybe with a new day
I'll look at things a different way
Maybe I'll have better things to say
For now even my bones feel heavy
I'm hoping my tears don't break down the levee
Praying tomorrow I can hold everything steady
The daffodils are springing
In the bloom, the pollen toss
The bird sway as they sing
I sense your touch in my all
Take a little longer ahhh
Take a little time
Just forget to forge
The gorge you left whole
The pavement I step, rolling stones
Each pierce my heart, the yesterday
I am not a magician neither a mystic
To foretell your heart strained desires
Cascading motions or emotions
Anticipated notions and collusions
Erosion of the past demolish solutions
Fainted resolution my contradiction
Having a terrible flu!... but still recorded!