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People will keep talking
But I don't have to listen
Others will continue to expect
And define my existence

They will try to take away
What's left of my childlike innocence
And even then, the things I do
Are still none of their business

How can I feel okay?
When they become restless
From me not conforming to their way
They only see it as reckless

Their shallow mouths spew words
Bringing upon damage that is endless
With the naive intentions to help
Yet, why do I feel more helpless?

Childhood criticisms cling to me
Leaving me defenceless
Whenever the guards of my walls
Become tired and careless

I thought it'd be easier to live
If I was just passive and selfless
Until I was driven to the point
Where I couldn't tell what was precious

I have now accepted that it is okay
That I do not share the same ethics
The differences found in me
Should not make me so apologetic
Matthew Jan 29
Endless Apologies
only bears
Agonizing Pain
I'm too much
and
yet not enough!
~SacredInkedBlood
©2018
Just get tired of not ever getting it right. I never know when I'm gonna set him off.
Madelynn Nieves Sep 2018
All that remains
Chalk that wrote our story
I absentmindedly erased
Essence of our core
Still searching
For the lines of us
Lost somewhere
Amongst the dust
My inspiration slowly fading
Sinking in quicksand
With no hopes of wading
I will always be waiting
Rising from the depths
Of my past life
Paper bound
And
Apologetic
Praying to all gods
That I don’t repeat
The same mistakes
Pleading woefully
For heavens sake
Desperately hoping
I don’t know how much more I can take
redruMAndTea Aug 2018
I’m sorry.
Dreadfully so.
Your hearts a mess-
so skillfully trying
to weave its way
through mine.
But I’ve already began
cutting the ties.
I don’t want your love.
I won’t lie; not to you.
I’m sorry
Lyn-Purcell Jul 2017
I shouldn't be...sorry
I couldn't be...sorry
I can't be...sorry
I won't be...sorry
Why should I be...sorry?
How could I be...sorry?
Why can't I be...sorry?

Sorry.
Sorrow.
   Sullied.
       Serried.

I should be proud of the smile I wear, right?
...no?
...I'm sorry...
No one should apologise for smiling.
B P Aug 2016
I’m sorry
I wear my body like an apology
I’m sorry
I take up so much space
I’m sorry
I speak quietly
Or not at all
Because my voice takes up so much space
And what if someone else wants to talk?

I’m sorry
I push you away
And I’m sorry
I’m insecure
And I’m sorry
I apologize so much.
Eleanor Rigby May 2016
Gin
I look up to a pale blue sky
With apologetic eyes
And a heart so very filled
With dim.
Take me back
To the empty box I was
Before I began feeding myself
Gin and jokes of grim.
God, please wash me off my sin,
Or take this foolish thick layer
Of skin.


-- Eleanor
Denisse Perez Apr 2016
The feelings inside me was enough to **** me. Us pulling up in his car just to see you come out of yours. The high disappeared. The vibes were gone. My heart began to pound louder than a drum on Chinese new year. You were heading our way.

I felt it. Your disappointment and anger. The look of betrayal written all over your face. You were keeping it all together when you really wanted to fall apart.

And there we were. All three of us standing in front of each other. Twas a night of good vibes ended up in a sour taste. All because I thought you wouldn't have understood. And there we were.

As one parted his way, you grabbed my hand and we started to walk away from the venue. I looked at you as you looked ahead. And all that was running through my head was to get away from you. When I had no right to. I watched you yell and scream for what felt like an eternity. I felt your pain and displeasure, all while I tried to prove an invalid point; trying to make it seem like you were wrong when it was actually me.
I heard you say words I've never heard you use before. I watched your eyes danced with madness, your pupils widening into great pools of rage and at the end all dim down with a flow of tears.

I wanted to hug you. I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to tell you that I didn't want to hurt you and that I had made some stupid decisions. But I didn't. Pride held me back and ego covered my mouth. Instead I watch you cry. It was unbelievable.

You drove me home that night. Nothing was said for a good 20 minutes. Then you pulled up into a parking lot to a highway hotel by the I15, where we began to talk again. Ego didn't silence me and pride didn't restrain me. We talked for what felt like hours when it was really 15 minutes. Then we were at my house. Where you hugged me good night. The smell of white amber and cardamom filled my nose... and then you drove away..


A lot happened that night. It was one of the many nights I said to myself I was never going to hurt you like that again........and I'm sorry.
Arcassin B Sep 2015
By Arcassin Burnham


everyday that we don't talk,
I swear I just lose my mind,
I'm drowning in pain,
Losing track of time,
Is it headaches or grime,
I just hope we haven't lost our time,
Hoping everything will suffice,
And even though it's dead,
And it's made up,
I put the painkillers in a cup
Behind the T.v,
Thinking about the recent history
We had but instead...
Love I don't mind,
Putting trust in me that I thought
I had in myself,
I would have it any other way
Good and bad health,
Why won't you trust me,
Lissy,
I don't mind.

__________


Three headed hell-pits,
Lingering at my soul,

Head or tales , take your pick,
Your teenage soul's set old,

Learning,
All about my past,
The breaking of the wine glass,
Hearts cold , but filled with decadence,
Days of the unknown,
Walking through diamond valley,
These Mists get a little clearer,
But you gotta get the clearer picture,


Don't call your friends
And get drunk,
Why are these hearts so cold?

Rorschachs all over my face,
Be glad that it's not mold,

Learning
That you'll never be mine again,
And we'll never be more than
Acquaintances,
Now-a-days its a little personal,
I can  endure a little hate and discrimination,
And your determination to ridicule,
Just know...
...I don't mind if its you.
I just miss you as my friend......
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