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Oct 2018 · 411
what do you deserve?
kailasha Oct 2018
how do I love myself,
when I can see myself inflicting pain
on those who loved me first?
not a haiku
Jul 2018 · 401
places of god
kailasha Jul 2018
there is no peace at the gates to god,
just as there is fear in places of love.
haridwar
Jun 2018 · 256
29
kailasha Jun 2018
29
Some days I will pick up an itchy caterpillar
with two pieces of cardboard
and move it out of harms way.

Other days,
I will kick a harmless beetle
because it breathes too loud
too close to my home.

I never tried to be not nice,
but borders get dizzy sometimes
I am human on both sides of the coin
after all.
paradox.
Apr 2018 · 546
cheers to the earth
kailasha Apr 2018
the sun waved to me
said something about a breathtaking smile.

the moon leaned in
whispered something about sorrowful eyes.

I saw you walking towards me,
green and blue and full of life.

Flowers bloomed, the wind sighed.
They were teaching me about
love and sacrifice.
love the earth please.
Apr 2018 · 304
the struggle
kailasha Apr 2018
I'm struggling to separate the star speckled sky from the hazy dawns. Time weighs down on you when you really don't want to be here.
I'm shivering in cozy orange light because the spirit is gone.
I put my heart on vibrate and threw it in the ocean.
11:10 pm ... trying to pull back seconds.
Apr 2018 · 686
Bostonian
kailasha Apr 2018
april skies have such potential
     and i never understood why they chose to waste
it away on
r
   a
i
      n
   s
when instead the sun can become a magician
and radiate wonders when it disappears
just witnessed the first breathtaking sunset of April after a stream of bad weather days
Apr 2018 · 233
.dusk.
kailasha Apr 2018
the sun drips golden
bidding goodnight to the trees
my melancholy
5-7-5
Apr 2018 · 301
life in pink
kailasha Apr 2018
You sung a song
so sweet my heart
shifted closer to you

I dreamt a dream
so glorious the sky
turned to pink from blue
a mood.
Apr 2018 · 347
thunderbolts
kailasha Apr 2018
it's just the empty thunderbolts, my darling
they wouldn't dare ruin our evening.

all the energy they would've held surrounds us now.
all their spark is between our fingertips, their fires in our heart,
the light in our eyes.

they're just the empty thunderbolts, my darling
and the thunder a proclamation of my love.
Mar 2018 · 364
international
kailasha Mar 2018
We're here now,
and theres more than the two of us.
But there's one feeling, and the same ache
yet different struggles
- * -
We all think the same things,
yet in different tongues.
The histories do not include us.
Our taste buds have had to adapt to the wind here,
we have learnt from the best of the chameleons.
- * -
It's the same stage set up and the curtains were never drawn,
but our eyes see a completely different story being played out.
Collective whispers greater than a shout.
Peace of mind has been a while, it'll take long...
Home isn't where the heart is, when the heart keeps moving around.
inspired by anna.
Oct 2017 · 415
histories
kailasha Oct 2017
you carry the burden of our histories on your shoulders,
not to repeat them but to know where we went
wrong to end up this way.

You carry the pride of our histories in your heart,
not to repeat them but to know someone's always cared,
and that it's our turn to care now.

इस बोझ को अकेले मत उठाना, इस ख़ुशी को बिखेरके चलना।
Jun 2017 · 399
no monsters in the dark
kailasha Jun 2017
The silence and darkness are like twins joined at the hip,
like lovers holding hands,
like tress rooted to the soil.

Why do you let fear fill up these crevices
that form because
anything dim yearns for the quiet,
and silence curls her fingers around the dark,

The bond remains, however twisted,
till the end of time,
a bond of love.
then what are you so afraid of?
Feb 2017 · 437
behind schedule
kailasha Feb 2017
my time table is worked down till the last seconds of every day,
every minute creeps around the clock only to shiver and die.

we're all on schedule, we're all here for finite moments that float away.

but isn't it only fun when
you're at the wrong place at the right time?
How was your day, and/or what do you hope to achieve today? Let me know below! :D
Feb 2017 · 312
another sadness
kailasha Feb 2017
I'm in a beautiful place,
a place where the wind blows and the people smile,
the trees sway and time flies.

I am where I thought I wanted to be,
then what is this crushing feeling that won't let me breathe?
i wanted to leave home, but now i miss it so dearly
Feb 2017 · 681
nature's leftovers
kailasha Feb 2017
the regions that mother nature spares,
the places saved from raging oceans, and trembling grounds,
from erupting fires and disease and drought,

those are for you to go and ****,
with knives and words,
guns, bombs and
those are the regions for humanity to destroy.
is violence human nature?
Feb 2017 · 733
the chinese ballad
kailasha Feb 2017
Let me tell you about that fleeting moment
when I felt an emotion
that I cannot describe.

LIGHT.
drowsy and switched on by that little flutter in your heart,
the shine glides across the space
till it has molded the world
around it into warmth.

DISTANCE.
far enough to be another world, yet just close enough to be real.
the warmth is out of reach now
but we’ll get there someday, soon, but
the metres between turn my sight blue.

BODIES.
his hands twirling her and her hands guiding him,
their movements spell out words and raw beauty.
so while the world falls deaf to my ears and
their shadows dance with them-
I hear echoes of laughter, clinking glass and…love.

HAPPINESS.
I feel it all at once, yet the words escape my mind before I can
make a sound to spit them out, I don’t understand
what this feeling is.

It’s a wish to see that happiness reflect in my life,
a wish to not fear the future.
So I, a boy with the world at my fingertips and
a cloud over my heart,
describe that fleeting moment
in an attempt to understand it.
This poem was inspired by a special moment for a special friend. I did my best to capture his raw emotions and expression into this poem.

If you would like to see the pictures accompanied with the poem, you can visit my brand new blog kitabikida.tumblr.com (and maybe/maybe not follow). Thanks x
Jan 2017 · 666
bored
kailasha Jan 2017
i am surrounded by warm bodies,
but i crave a loving touch.
the world is fast pacing
but i feel like i am stuck.

my stomach isn't doing well, and neither is my brain
                my heart just got up from a  grave, and oh look- it's falling again.
what do i call this state of being?
Dec 2016 · 1.4k
Astronauts, by nikka ursula
kailasha Dec 2016
"
There are two kinds of space exploration:
One: you do with physics.
The other: you do with poetry.
The best astronauts I know
Defy gravity with words.
And it gives me hope
That maybe I don’t need
12,000 kilonewtons of sheer force
To know the universe where I belong.
"
will still be attempting to open an astrophysics book this holidays
Nov 2016 · 776
runaway
kailasha Nov 2016
i was told that she moved like the wind,
and her eyes carried whispers from the ocean that
her hands breathed like the leaves but

it wasn't till i saw her in the lights,
dancing as the music swirled around
speaking like she could chase away sorrows and
singing because the world depended on her words, that

her voice reminded me of the home where i belong.
Runaway - Aurora
Oct 2016 · 1.5k
homesick
kailasha Oct 2016
I've heard people who are away from each other say-
"at least we're under the same sky"

but we're not,
because it doesn't rain here the way it does back home,
the sun isn't warm enough to tingle my bones.
the sky here bends to meet buildings and towers,
not the hills and mountains and their wonder

So I say-
*"but we're not. the sky here is different."
college life isn't as fun as i thought it'd be.
Sep 2016 · 1.2k
Why to Love this Body
kailasha Sep 2016
Part 1

Because I was a part of my mother once,
and her essence is cherry blossoms,
her mind is  streaming warmth
and nothing that is from her can be insignificant.
homesick
Sep 2016 · 677
you posted a letter
kailasha Sep 2016
Somewhere there is a piece of paper flying over an ocean,
over mountains no one can measure or name,
over houses that haven't felt a heartbeat
in years.

It's a paper with your initials and mine,
a message to me from you.

And while it travels over magic and forgotten adventures,
I sit in anticipation for those strokes of ink
on paper, and the warmth of your fingers
with skylines in my sight.
i have to send out a few postcards.
also the view from my dorm *****. #collegegal
Apr 2016 · 930
shaking tragedy
kailasha Apr 2016
i find myself wishing,
that history does not repeat itself.
especially not
on the anniversary of sad events.

since it was almost exactly a year ago
that tragedy struck and lives
came crashing to the ground.

almost a year ago, and i don't want to see
the tears and pain resurface from cracks again.
nepal earthquake - 25th april '15
Mar 2016 · 2.8k
coffee and tea
kailasha Mar 2016
i am the poem and the poetess,
with irregular rhyme patterns and
dreams in clouds brewed from midnight coffee.

i am a prose neatly typed out,
handed in ten minutes after the deadline
stained with morning black tea.
student by day, loser by night
Mar 2016 · 524
blockades
kailasha Mar 2016
what is keeping me from reaching out and grabbing my dream?

your A minuses, your rejection letters, your mundane home-works,
your beauty and size standards, appropriate clothing manners
your gender roles and restrictions.

you.

and countless other things that end at me too,
but i am too angry to recall them.
yeah, you is a what
Mar 2016 · 1.0k
letter
kailasha Mar 2016
i wish people still wrote letters,

i wish we still penned down our thoughts,
so that your tear stains could guide me to your heart
and the coffee or wine stains to those sleepless nights

so that the scent of the sheet could tell me
what perfume was your new favourite
and your lazy handwriting showed how tired you were

theres so much more of you on paper,
and theres so much of you i miss.
the monthly mail. (message me, i want to make friends)
Feb 2016 · 2.0k
fly like paper
kailasha Feb 2016
my thoughts are paper planes
that don't seem to see the runways that i drew
on the blank sheets in front of me.
muddled thoughts
Feb 2016 · 1.3k
itch
kailasha Feb 2016
thoughts hang around my head like an itch that won't go away
       and they're *making me scratch my brains out
i hate winter.
Feb 2016 · 1.1k
roses are red
kailasha Feb 2016
I won't be plucking off petals from my rose
like those lovesick Romeos and Juliets on park benches.
I don't need luck and petal symmetry to believe.

I won't litter the petals
like lipstick marks or blood stains on white sheets.
I won't be placing them in a vase half full,
that's temporary.

I have a better plan in mind,
a better way to immortalize
my rose. Deep within a gift,
pressed between pages
is a symbol of your love to me.
gwach.
Dec 2015 · 757
comfort
kailasha Dec 2015
Why do I need to love myself,
when I have your words comforting me
                 like the cup of hot tea in my hands and the blanket around me
                         this cold winter night.
I'm writing poems to you now, but you don't have to know
Jun 2015 · 738
far away.
kailasha Jun 2015
I am running away
                               to the edges of the universe

to catch up with my soul.
Wanderlust Extreme.
Pardon my senseless poetry.
Jun 2015 · 1.3k
The Art of Ruining
kailasha Jun 2015
Destruction is beautiful when
*you're not the one being destroyed.
Gah.
Jun 2015 · 2.0k
chills in the air
kailasha Jun 2015
there is something unsettling in the air

maybe it's the sound of thunder rattling the windows,
                               maybe it's the lightning tearing the sky apart
      or the vibration of the earth below my feet, maybe it's her laugh.
                                        
                 ­     something is adding to that fire ablaze in my heart.

                                                                ­                  whatever it is *it scares me
Wow the title is sort of ironic. Cuz fire in my heart?
Do I have a heart? Metaphorically speaking of course.

That's a lot of literary devices for one note. Have a good day. Don't let nature scare you.
Jun 2015 · 1.2k
Chained to the Earth
kailasha Jun 2015
I used to look out the window,
and see the city scrawled out beneath me.
I used to see birds fly and imagine myself
with them,
no boundaries to my flight.

Maybe having my head too far up in the clouds,
lifted my feet from the ground.
And as I stood there, gently levitating,
the shaking earth took away everything.

Now, I'm a crumpled mess on the ground.
It hurts my eyes to look up at the sun.
Looking out the window shows only
a brick wall, a barrier to my imagination.

The birds have betrayed me, so has the sky-
the Earth has chained me to herself.
My wings have been ripped off,
even before they ever sprouted.


_

_
I wish the earthquake would undo itself.

25.04.15. Tuesday.
Nepal.
Apr 2015 · 1.2k
January 1, 2015, 2:07 AM
kailasha Apr 2015
I am hopeful,
yet afraid.
I await excitement,
for adrenaline to rush through my veins.
For wind on my face,
also under my cape.
Adventure is calling me,
and I am on my way.
Resolutions.
Dec 2014 · 1.2k
random error
kailasha Dec 2014
another day
a few more hours
till this time comes again.
look out, for i will make
the same mistakes.
but these errors are not random
they are natural fluctuations.
i am studying for physics bye. #wishmeluck #tears
kailasha Dec 2014
I was told to write about how I feel.

But what I feel isn’t just a noun I can express in words and pages. Tremendous waves of emotions come crashing and I forget how to swim. Rarely are they a calm sea, where sooner or later, I find a boat and am safe.

There is no boat today. The sea is churning. The sky is enraged.

Sometimes the emotions are a fire, orange and warm, fueling me to keep moving on. But when they are blue and searing hot, it burns me from within. I’m afraid you will catch fire too.

But the fire is my light in the darkness, my lighthouse. Not attracting boats, but giving them a signal to stay away.

I am torn between right and wrong, and the only way I can talk about my ‘feelings’ is by referring to them as natural occurrences and disasters.

Disasters. That reminds me of a lot of things.
This isn't exactly a poem, but I felt it sort of had a rhythm.
I might make this into a story if i can.
I should study for my exam.
Dec 2014 · 985
Self
kailasha Dec 2014
I'm in the dark deep trenches of self esteem
and have summited the mountain of self hatred.

My head is not an empty box,
my mind does harbour dreams.
I wish for stars and gold
for claps in rhythmic tones

but instead i sit and cry on about
how i just can't.
can't even bother to capitalize my i's anymore
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
Hand Prints
kailasha Nov 2014
I like to believe that ugly hands
can create beautiful things
that they can paint oceans wide and deep
that they can scribble words that make the soul weep.
I like to think that ugly hands,
with darkened knuckles and twisted bones
can make someone want to hold them
and trace patterns, and leave tingling jolts.

This took a different turn than the one intended.
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
--.O
kailasha Nov 2014
Did that really happen?
Or was it just me.
Were you just batting your eyelashes
or did you really wink...at me?
Is there a reason for
you walking beside me
or is it just our paths coinciding?
Question upon question tower in my mind,
they form headaches,
as well as smiles.

Just a little imagination used.
Nov 2014 · 696
Beyond the Stars
kailasha Nov 2014
Step by step we move forward
Whispers crowd the atmosphere
With fire in our hands
and hearts torn apart
we keep looking ahead
we walk under the stars,
while you are somewhere beyond.
Took part in this silent candle march last Friday for Shaan, a boy who died out of sickness mainly due to the negligence of the hostel where he studied.
Nov 2014 · 770
Empty Skies
kailasha Nov 2014
My heart at times
feels like empty skies
devoid of suns and stars.
Painted with clouds,
All the blue thrown out.
Like a slate wiped clean.
Sometimes you feel so much,
that you can feel
no more.
Not cleansed, not neat, not free.
You become
Empty.
In a very weird mood.
Nov 2014 · 538
I'm here, for you
kailasha Nov 2014
If you ever want to let me know

what you think of after the sun has set low
and the stars shine bright against the black
or
when life is just a blur, but yours a daydream
and you're stuck frozen in a moment,
your mind just some butterflies and tangled roots,

I'll be here.

Tell me about your darkness, when I see light.
Tell me, and even I just might.
Something is wrong with me.
#deep #cheesy
Nov 2014 · 4.0k
Unhealthy
kailasha Nov 2014
It's easy to get obsessed with something
that isn't good for the self.

For me, it was you.

You were that ****** song,
I couldn't get out of my head.
That type of chocolate,
I could never get enough of.
Those hours I overslept.
That escape I found,
every time I wept.

Those day dreams.
Those feelings.
That smile.

None were good for me,
yet that is what I'm craving.
WHY AM I EVEN WRITING THIS.
kailasha Nov 2014
A Shoelace Knot (An English Assignment)

A shoelace dangles between my fingers.
It is my gift to you this Valentine.

It's a bit muddy, stinks of sock
and is coloured a fading blue
The aglets still remain, but are worn with use,
something like my feelings for you.

I know you love cheesiness and chocolate,
But accept it, my love, for it belongs to the shoe,
that led me to where you stood.

Tie it around your wrist,
so that I'll stay around you, in your mind,
around your beating pulse,
lest you forget
all the journeys we undertook.

Look.
The string is tearing at places,
but we'll just tie a knot again.

We'll be inseparable and true.

I fall with your fall, and you match your footsteps to mine,
because like the tied shoelace,
our lives are tangled and knotted.

Accept my gift, an old shoelace
and tie us together
Tight.
This is for an English Assignment. I thought I'd upload it earlier, so any suggestions are more than welcome :)
Inspired by Valentine, by Carol Ann Duffy. (That's also the poem we read in class and are supposed to use as our topic).
kailasha Nov 2014
You know how the sun is always there,
each morning, throughout the day
and makes sure life grows.
and sometimes you want to face it,
with eyes closed
and arms spread out
till a tingle spreads from your fingers
to your insides
and how sometimes the same sun
burns your skin and prickles your mind.

You know how the moon is always so calm,
serene and makes you awestruck
as if it's the reason for the tides
of your heart
how it makes you feel secure and at peace
how it follows your car and keeps looking
out for you wherever you are.
but also how it isn't always there,
or is, but not entirely.


There are different types of love.
Nov 2014 · 2.0k
Fading Spirit
kailasha Nov 2014
I'm afraid I'll end up living a small life,
in a small place,
and my small dreams
are just what remain.
That when I'm decaying somewhere
far underground and returning
to where I began
All I'll be is a small memory
in just another brain.
The words I've scribbled (or typed)
will all be long gone.
the people I made smile
will be all far away.
I'm afraid of when
my small spirit starts to fade.
I am just sad and hopeless. -.-
Nov 2014 · 2.3k
Scarred, yet Alive
kailasha Nov 2014
We believe scars are weaknesses.
They are not, they shouldn’t be.
They should be prizes and trophies
To hang on walls and dust everyday
And when someone comes over you can say,
“Look, I was there. I tried, I fought,
and I survived. I lived.
I am alive.”


Oct 2014 · 746
Feel Whole
kailasha Oct 2014
Sleep holds no comfort
Burning eyes don't
soothe the soul

Broken and jagged
pieces of me
litter the floor

No poem, no song
no kisses or hug
can make me feel
whole
Please excuse me if it doesn't make much sense.
Oct 2014 · 1.7k
Froze the moment
kailasha Oct 2014
You came over and
sat next to me
I froze the moment
and that is where
i'll be.
Did this actually even happen? Nobody knows :P
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