I remember when you first spoke and the euphoria that swelled through me like a person that just won the lottery.

I remember the look on your face when i first played a song for you. How you already fell in love.

I remember hearing your voice in person for the first time. I turned around and felt my first weakness when I layed my eyes on you.

I remember kissing you on the lake for the first time and then getting bit by a million fire ants.

I remember how cold it was that night on your trampoline like a wave of ice hit us. But my heart kept me warm with the thought of you beside me.

I remember the nights we spent in my room talking and laughing over silly nonsense and creating memories that will last forever in my brain.

I remember showing your mother the ring I got for you.

I remember how I kept telling you to get your nails done for no specific reason.

I remember the day perfectly when I took you to the zoo.

I remember speaking to my friends as I walked over to you saying i dont know what to say.

I remember grabbing your hand and getting on one knee to tell you "I know I havent known you long, but I know i want to spend the rest of my life with you, so genna, will you marry me."

I remember how fast you replied yes to which I asked "are you sure?" And then you said it again.

I remember how you wouldnt let go of hugging me like you wanted this moment to not go by. To savour that moment like a fine wine.

I remember when you wore my uniform and you looked so adorable in it.

I remember the hours before our wedding felt like years. But I couldnt have been more excited.

I remember turning around and feeling that same weakness I felt when I first met you.

I remember the red lipstick you wore.

I remember the train that interrupted our wedding and we laughed.

I remember sweeping you off your feet and carrying you away.

I remember when we bought our first apartment and it fell apart on us.

I remember bringing our cats home.

I remember the night I cried and held you in my arms with the thought I was going to lose you to cancer.

I remember I didnt want to let go.

I remember when you made your first piece of clothing.

I remember the day you recorded me flipping a bottle onto a ledge over and over.

I remember how you used to try and catch me singing.

I remember the day I had to leave you for Afghanistan.

I remember how you snuck into the side of the building to kiss me goodbye one more time.

I remember the last time i looked at our home before i flew away.




I remember when I broke your heart.

I remember when I lied to you.

I remember when I said wed fix this.

I remember when I failed.




I remember when you cut your hair and i hated it but still supported it.

I remember when I came home from deployment and I heard your voice in the distance running to me.

I remember your hug and kiss.

I remember how happy we felt.

I remember that everything felt fine.



But I remember the day you said you cant do this anynore.

And I remember when I gave up..



I remember how much you begged for me to stay but I didnt listen.

I remember the day I kicked you out.

I remember when I realized I failed again.

I remember how damaged you were.

I remember how scared you were.

I remember how empty my apartment feels

I remember how empty my heart feels

How empty I Feel.

I remember the days, the weeks, the months, the years.

And I will remember today.

Memories that are forever embedded and scarred into my brain and body.


                         I cant forget.
The most personal poem ive written. If anyone reads this youll basically see my marriage fall apart with me.
Faith 4d
talking to you,
is like smoking a cigarette.
your toxins slowly kill me.
at first it's hard to notice.
you hit my bloodstream,
and I get a bit lightheaded.
but over time,
I grow weaker,
and it gets harder to pick up the lighter.
clock in,

and skyscrapers loom over us like gods,
her sweaty hair mixes in with my own,
these hard hands are on my cold cheeks
burning hollows with their brazing heat.

she will never rest inside my heart.
i cannot shell out that privilege.

rain is threatening to pour outside,
ashen like my eyes threatening to burst
in the moments before a mouth finds mine,
and i start making poetry out of her kisses.

the opening line:

she tells me, quietly, that we’re just having fun,
but this isn’t fun.
this is my life’s work:
i am already making poetry out of her kisses.

and the body verses:

i, the poet in the corner of the room,
making words out of scratched skin and late night tears.
her, the girl unlucky enough to meet me,
giving me my poetry wrapped in her caress.

this isn’t fun.
at least i am making poetry out of her kisses.

whatever song is playing is unknown to me,
as much a stranger as her kisses are,
and i don’t want to know either.

but this is how i get my poetry:
from her touch.

she winds down from the drinks,
and i wind down from the smoke.

the ending,
soft and impactful:

she kisses me and i kiss her,
both for very different reasons,
and i write the ending the moment we begin:
i will make poetry out of her kisses,
and she will forget my name,

clock out.
Nic Mac Apr 12
I willingly say the words you need,
again and again without question.
Allowing them to slit through my heart,
If to hear them, is what you need most.

Again and again without question.
they slit through my bleeding heart.

The price to keep yours close.
As you crack down the length of my bones.
Again and again without question.
what do you need me to say?

they cut me,
as I speak them.
and burn me,
as i feel them leave.
You'll take them,
and thank you,
as you watch me bleed.

"Its ok, Im fine"
By Nic Mac
Lily Apr 11
My mind keeps spinning,
My heart is breaking,
My thoughts are circling,
And I can’t seem to find any relief.
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way,
That all the things that are happening to me
Are not that bad, and I shouldn’t worry.
Yet I do, and I can’t stop, and
I know that’s unhealthy,
But I have an overreacting tendency
That’s so natural.
My mind naturally runs in circles,
Like a computer program that is set
To only one function that cannot be
Overrun.
This overreaction is slowly killing me,
From the inside out.
I’m cold, I’m hot,
I’m hungry, I can’t stand to look at food,
I’m okay, and then I’m not.
I’m not okay.
Keller Apr 10
Our good days were good but our bad days were damn near catastrophic.
Aa Harvey Apr 8
Tears of Man


You have the right to remain silent.
Do you make the choice or remain violent?
Do you evolve and become more civilized?
Or do you choose to stay belligerent?


You choose to be healthy like you are told.
You stop eating junk food; replaced with cold,
And in the end are you any happier?
I have become numb, apart from automatic laughter.


I laugh at things you don’t find funny.
I have thousands of instant thoughts at once.
I eat and eat and still there is a rumble inside my tummy.
You think I am clever, but my hat says ‘D’ for ‘Dunce’.
I tell you tales, and as they set sail,
The rain comes down and people complain;
But I do not complain, for I only see waves,
That carry me home to people I love.
My God!  
It sure is,
A beautiful day!


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
You’re a polar teacher
Taught me how to smile while I’m aching
Taught me how to laugh until my body started shaking
Taught me what it’s like to be important
Taught me how to push myself when I thought I couldn’t
These are wonderful things that you helped me learn
But there are some lessons that make me burn
You taught me how to cry in silence to not cause a scene
You taught me that there’s a point where all I can do is collapse and scream
You taught me trust is something that can break
You taught me that there’s only so much I can take
zahra wang Mar 5
she says
that he is her drug of choice
and i agree

he is a dangerous
illegal
life ruining drug

he gives her the high
and when she comes down from it
she falls so hard
and he withdraws himself
messes with her brain
ruins her mental state

but she's addicted to him
so even though
he beats her up
on the outside and in
she will
again
again
again
come crawling back to him
until she won't have anything to offer him, and he'll throw her away just like he did everyone else
Janery Alban Feb 16
And you're right back under my nails like a goddamn sliver of whatever it is your feeling towards me at the moment.
I am drenched in your disgust.
Sometimes I wish you'd just hit me square in the jaw to make this a little easier.
Did I mention that sometimes I think like my mom?
I haven't really slept at all this past week and if we're being honest I got none last night.
I say I'm going to get better and that's why I'm ripping myself from you. Like fused atoms. Or in your opinion, a bloody leech.
If this is your form of rejection, I should head for the hills, but baby I am a masochist,


and. you. hurt. so. good.
I'm not proud of myself.
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