Alone, I am incomplete.
Solitary. Quiet. Shy.
Afraid of expressing myself too much.
"What if no one will like me?"
I cringe back from the challenge of the freedom to be myself
in order to conform.
When you are here
Everything is right. Whole.
I shout as loudly as I want, I smile as bright as I can.
You made me thoughtful.
You helped me learn to love myself.
Made me flutter and feel lighter
And the mention of your name made me giddy.
My obsession with you was unhealthy.
Our relationship, a strong, happy thing
was not as durable as I thought.
I became the storm, the whirlpool, sucking you in
and never letting go.
And you, the fragile butterfly,
collapsed under my weight,
I relied on you too much.
And you got destroyed.
No longer will I melt for you
Like cat shit in the rain.
in a gooey grocery bag
from the store
where you first sold me your lines
I finally threw it out the front door
after holding onto it for far too long
sifted the nasty chunks from my life
I am on the mend
take your swollenness elsewhere
my ears are plugged and my interest has dried
I once found myself broken down to dust,
but now I see that I have been
with no room left for pain
i am the architect of my own demolition.
i know what ive done, but i will not
that i am the cause.
i know that by admitting it,
i will never be able to live with myself.
so with that,
i choose to blatantly ignore
all evidence you throw at me.
i will ignore my own head,
the thoughts that rage in yours.
but the funny thing is,
my head will forever be louder
than the words you continue to yell at me. my head is equivalent to
the loud static of a broken television;
only not able to be turned off.
i am saving myself from my own destruction.
but at the same time
i am creating more for you.
you are the rug i sweep all my actions under.
you are the jar i hide all my confessions in.
for i am a monster,
a monster only seen
when i look into the mirror.
you are my mirror.
You built me up into something beautiful
Or so I had believed
Then you tore me down, piece by blessed piece
Now as I start to put myself together
You tear me down
You give me hope
But you destroy that too
Why do you do this?
Why do you manipulate me?
Why do you use me?
To build yourself up?
To make it "all better"?
To blame it all on me?
I hope one day you become a better person
Until then, I wish you luck, you'll need it
As the flame got to close,
Your flesh was not prepared,
For the intense heat.
She takes another step,
Blindly burning brightly.
Expecting you to latch onto her back.
She touched you,
Intoxicated by the feel of touch.
The flame that surrounds her always,
Stretches onto your own body,
Consuming you and leaving you boiling and aching.
Her needy touch is a flame,
And she mistook you for a moth