Some thing did say, in my mind
don't make this another tequila day,
I laughed and sang along
as I poured the Peligro and sang my own ****** song.
And I'll see the sunrise.
merasa seperti tidak layak untuk siapapun
merasa kosong hampir setahun
merasa cuma diri saja yang melewati
titik termuak kah ? tidak tau
titik tercapek kah? tidak tau
mungkin masih di dasrar
mungkin akan ada puncak kalut yang lebih tinggi
mungkin ini sudah hampir berakhir
gaada yang tau,
bahkan diri sekalipun
sempat berharap mencoba
kepada orang lain
mau sampai kapan?
ɪᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ sᴀᴅ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ
ɪᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴘɪssᴇᴅ ☠︎︎
I feel like there's no escape from it.
Like a bad dream but you never wake up.
Or maybe it's more like every time you close your eyes to go to bed,
You have the same ******* nightmare and morning dread.
Doing the same thing is considered insanity
And yet I do it every day
Because every time I try
To get out of this rut
Circumstances push me right back into the mud.
And I'm tired.
Tired of trying.
Tired of the ******* cycles
That I'm apparently too stupid to figure out how to break.
What the **** do you want from me God?
I obviously can't do anything you want right,
Or I wouldn't feel plagued every single night.
With the same nightmare,
And the same godforsaken morning light.
So I did a few things wrong
So I acted kind of strange
Why tell these things to me
While hiding behind a screen?
Well you were gonna come to my door
You were gonna tell me it there
But oh? Guess what?
I had other places to be.
I wrapped my life around all of you
You mentioned how I acted like the world
revolved around me, but I did
But I wasn't
and now I have to pay
I quit piano lessons
and never joined a club
I ignored Bible Study
Just to talk to you
I waited and I waited
But no one ever came
To say goodbye to me
before I flew away
So instead of saying 'I'll miss you'
You're saying '*******'
And I did everything I could and tried to make you happy
But my past that spilled from my lips
Made you hate me all so much
and the way I was
just ****** you all off more
Sorry for being a **** up
But that doesn't mean
I'm going to **** it all up
I'm sorry to be ****** but recently a friend sent me a hate message for being a person. I feel terrible 'cause some of it's true but really, what a petty *****.
My mind is on fire,
And I'm out of control.
The choices I make
Wreak a heavy toll.
You learn in life that
No one gives a ****.
You learn that in the end,
You're **** out of luck.
People are full of empty promises,
All talk and no action.
Dividing you into broken
No more mincing words,
I am ******* ******.
Your lack of transparency
Will not be missed.
I hate you.
Thanks for nothing.
There's this feeling inside.
It's something I've never experienced before.
But suddenly, I feel so alive.
I looked it up and it's called pride.
It all started the night you left.
I got a phone call from one of your friends.
When I hung up, I knew it was the beginning of the end.
You told me you loved me.
And when I realized you lied,
I crawled into bed as I screamed then cried.
After i let go of the anger and the pain, it was like the sun came out and dried up all the rain.
I found the strength to let you go.
It's ok if you feel bad but I want to thank you.
You taught me I'm stronger than I know
I have lost the hold of me
Wanna shout so so so high...
It's been really long when I heard my voice
Now it feels so chocked...
Wanna cuddle coz I hate this feeling
Not able to make out or in...
Hope I get out of this mess quick
Cause it ****..
Hate to be lonely but what's worst is to be wid one you don't want to see...
I don't like anything new,
& I'm sick of everything I'm used to.
Sometimes thrive for something different
yet get bored of it in an instant.
Trying to hold on to what I already have
still, getting ******* at the same routine!