I wish I could love you But I don’t like your crooked smile Your crooked nose, and dead eyes Your crooked morality, and lifeless skin You’re an inanimate doll Except not pretty You are a repulsive sight I know what you do in the dark I know your future and your past I know the filthy blood pumped by your heart And I know you, better than they do Thus I just can’t love you
The sun's shining on my tattered bed sheets Another day of sadness Just like any other day If I don't come back with soiled pants Then I will go to church and offer a burnt offering I go to the bathroom Flinch at every drop of water that hits my ****** wounds I go to the mirror and look The big swelling I got yesterday After the "queen bee" hit my head against the wall Someone again placed a banana peel on my way I could only hear shutter sounds as I fell Became the meme of yesterday Just like I was the day before the day before the day before... I look at her in the mirror In the school uniform With tears in my eyes Filled with anger and remorse Punching the girl in my mirror I roared at her "I DON'T WANNA BE YOU ANYMORE."
I hated the ******* the other side of the mirror... She is hated by everyone. Not even a single soul wanted to be with her. Not even the gods cared for her. It would be better was she dead, right???
if the world could grant me this moment, to take in all the pain the universe has frowned upon me, i would gladly say “no, thanks.” i have no time to deal with the pain inflicted upon my being nor do i have the time to face my reality.
that’s what i’m good at, anyway. constantly running away from the reality that whenever i face it, i’d crumble down like a cookie. the truth is, i have made myself believe that my comfort zone is a place away from my reality.
it’s ironic, how my comfort zone is just a fantasy created by myself when it should be the truth that i need to face.
i guess i’m a coward, for making myself believe that this is supposed to be my safe place when it clearly isn’t.
i am a person who deserves a lot that the world can offer. but, i am also my own enemy for making myself believe that i deserve nothing more than the pain and tragedy i’ve constantly faced. i’m the enemy of myself for depriving myself of all the good that the world has to offer.
liquid dawn, headphones, cold, and restlessness pills, tears, and helplessness it’s at times like these that I feel like I’m falling behind, without facing disquietude, medicine short of patience
I hid in the bathroom to spit out my disappointment towards me, always the abomination because I just can't seem to do anything right, what a desecration they knock on the door but I have no breath left to answer could it be because of my pounding? I can't endure the slander
lips lie then pray for attention, for someone to cry for me but that someone is not there, and it's so dark in here
The light shines through the windowpane and I start to melt, I scream in pain Hello? help, I can't do this again Shut the curtain, I'm alone again Sizzled and fried, I think I just died How does it feel to still be alive? My lungs are the only thing that's left Slowly rising and falling in a ****** mess
How does it feel to still be alive? Stop crying Goodmourning
My heart skips beats when I can't sleep My eyes strain red I shot myself in the head This hole in my brain makes me think I'm insane Watch me laugh it off again Syrup pours out but it's not very sweet So I'll hand you the gun, tell you, "copy me." Outcasts in hysteria hold onto our feet
How does it feel to still be alive? How does it feel to join the dark side? Stop crying You're dying Goodmourning
In silence, in solitude A line of people surround me Perpetually faces protruding Screams of turmoil falling on me Like a pour of concrete Permanently motions denied Salvation lost in stillness My existence feeding from it Energy exuding from the hatred Silence is lost on me Too many talking Cheap cynical laughter No respite, no comfort Lost my own voice within
Anxiety Insecurity Self hatred Fueled by staying inside By never seeing people By wearing a mask
Full face Half face No face Hide behind the cloth The screen The walls
Privacy Intimacy Fear Leave me anonymous Unseen Invisible
I've developed extreme anxiety around publicly showing my face. It's gotten to the point I can't drive without a mask or go get my mail. All the mirrors in my house are covered. Seeing myself ruins my day.