what if all this studying
is for nothing?
what if i cant do it
i crack in the real thing
i just fall apart
how will i know?
i doubt everything
every little move
every little decision
what if it is not enough?
college is rough and im struggling
i study, i study, i study
it over and over again
the words dance all in my mind
but still, over and over again
i fail to remember and to retain
i cant seem to remember anything these days, i think im losing my mind
Why should you study?
And persevere? And listen?
And write? For people--
For the people you'll see, for there are just
few you'll. And still fewer among them, who
will be around to see you.
In a makeshift heaven of this world,
This world fits right in- not without gaps,
Not the best close-packing ever.
Which lets you think and shift the pieces forever.
Not at all exciting, if you want to
See it that way. But do you have a choice--
Except all the the ones you haven't tried
already? Hinged to the far side of moon
You might be, but wither you'll soundlessly
off this grand tree. So a fair chance there is
you might see, where this is going and realize soon: You won't know if science has advanced, You won't know if you've made enough amends, You won't know anything
except for the people you'll see, even what they've to say, you've to understand.
i am yet to place
a name to a face,
the ripples of your voice
in any of my module choices
you're a deciding factor
and i'm going through them all
digging through lecture capture.
trust that you can,
learn to be motivated
believe in your potential
and love to thrive.
Matrix vector analysis is easy
for a long time it will keep you busy.
To be honest,its like psychotherapy..
Cause it keeps your brain from other thoughts,
that would make you dizzy.
To be or not to be,thats not the matter.
Choosing the less bad,from your only bad options
should be your talend.
Your criteria should be logic and a planning list
That's what will assist.
And when you evetually start vectors liking,
youre now a *******.
If I fail this test... well I don't know...
Perhaps I'll drop out of school and walk
Thousands of miles to start a new life
Where things are easy and nice and sweet
Like spoonfuls of sugar for mouth-bleeds.
Or maybe I'll tug my hoodie tight
And hibernate in my mobile cave,
Soundproof from the shuffling strangers there,
Because behind the walls of my mind
All I need are daydreams of springtime.
Or I might borrow a better brain
From a friend who knows a lot of things
Like how to laugh right or calculate
The speed as Train A, Train B collide.
Yeah, I think that plan would work out fine.
Unless... unless I manage to pass.
But that's just a silly thought to have.
The weird thing with boredom
Is that it always only occurs
When one has quite a lot
Of actual things things to do.
Like right now,
I am writing
Maybe getting a couple of likes
When I should be studying
So I don’t get a grade
That makes me go “Yikes!”
Like right now I feel deprived
Of things to do,
I think it’s cause one gets easily bored
With what’s right in front of you.
Because why not.
science is all about mistakes
both making them,
and feeling like one too
Scattered books and pens
A noose hanging from the roof
The ink running dry
First attempt in Haiku,
I wrote it a couple months ago during the final exams.