Save me! I'm so afraid of falling off
All radars and locators of existence.

Save me! I'm so afraid of waking up
And making sense that I'm at far distance.

Save me! While it's no late at all,
While I can hear the pain inside and see the light.

Save me! While it's still possible.
While I'm here, cause tomorrow's my affright.

My grey cat curls up
Down by my side.
It'll be a long night.
We'll get through.

Rain's knocking the bench
There, outside.
It'll pass off after night.
We'll get through.

I'm staring the ceiling.
The darkness's the same
I can't sleep again.
Well, we'll get through.

It’s morning. I woke up. It’s hatefully grey.
I’d close my eyes and go back to sleep.
Thoughts wander around me like chimeras
And weave their nets from all sides of me.

I think I’ll make one of them just a reality:
I’ll make some coffee, there’s no other way.
The day won’t work out without coffee.
And there’ll be a mess in my head anyway.

I’m up. What a nebulous nasty morning.
It shamelessly drives me crazy at all.
And why did I suddenly feel wholly
That I know all about myself?
What a fool?

What a phenomenal wacky silliness!
What a criminal irrational nonsense!
I thought that tomorrow is really fatal
As it was in the same way for years.

And what is in point of fact?
Where’s tomorrow?
All colors around me are totally dim.
I try to find my previous strong energy,
But only monotony is all-around me.

It was so simple yesterday, but now it’s ugly.
My coffee’s sneezing. It’s got a cold.
Well, I’ll go to live just like that, don’t look behind.
And I will live as long as I can, with no support.

I stand in front of you, stunt, sickly.
My eyes are rayless, my skin is weakly.
No sign of joy or peg to life.
I'm tangled in whole in a net of lies.

I don't cry, but tears are all around.
It's like a life circle for me is shut down.
I don't scream - no strength, no strife.
It's like a mouse has gnawed of all my life.

I stand in front of you, disheveled.
I'm like a book, thumbed through, bedevilled.
And there's no use or purpose in it.
Her place is on the far shelf indeed.

I stand in front of you as I am right now.
Don't drive me away from you, put up with somehow.
I've no strength, no faith, no meaning, no purpose.
Leave me a pinch of love at least, with no pose.

I didn't leave fast.
I walked a millimeter at a time.
I left you not at once.
I waited. I didn't move. I paused in my rhyme.

I vanished in drops.
I took myself from you little by little.
I didn't even notice that
I pulled away from you in whole, up to tittle.

I am ashamed to live today!
There’s too much malodorous mud!
I want to create, to win, to love!
But how’s it possible?
The evil’s crowned!

I look out the window and see the sky.
I go out the yard and hear the groan.
It’s up in the air, ashamedly, clumsy.
It understands that the final is known.

I am ashamed for this crippled truth.
The fact, that seemed like a nonsense yesterday,
Is now a reality where we have to be.
I don't want to live here!
Just noway!
Noway!

I believe in you with every my cell,
With every atom of my body.
If they don’t believe in you, I don’t care.
I don’t care about anybody.

I believe you with all my wounded heart,
With every fiber of my soul.
I can warm up only when I’m with you.
Just let me be with you in whole.

I believe in you! I believe you!
You won’t forsake or betray.
When you’re nearby, I believe in myself.
I’ll pull through in my life anyway!

She’s standing, pressed against the cold wall,
Trampled.
She’d be crying now, but there’re no tears.
They’re lost.
There are so many people around, but not a soul,
Just robots.
She awaits no gifts from fate,
She’s like a ghost.
She accepted her script a long time ago.
She’s playing.
She’d like to try a different life, but
She can’t.
It’ll be like before, she will be back.
She’s still feeling.
She will just live and she will await,
Sentenced in full, not half.

Mum, my sweetheart, I’m tired.
Do you believe or not?

It’s like my legs are broken under
Or maybe they’re gone for short.

My head is being torn apart
By different odd thoughts.

And I can’t, I can't stop thinking.
Fears are around. More mots.

I ***** up my eyes firmly.
I instantly stop my ears.

And I’m silent again, silent again
As if there’re no dread and fears.

Mum, my sweetheart, I’m tired!
I don’t want being afraid to live!

I’m so tired mum! I’m really tired!
There’re too much atrocities.
It’s true, not a myth.

Just little bells,
Ding-****, ding-****,
Are chirping sweet sounds.
How nice is their song.

There’s not a bit truth
In that saccharine ‘re-fa-la’.
But there won't be nothing else.
We can’t live without lie.

I met the Soul,
And she was empty.
She was exhausted, unattached.
She wandered charily,
Taking the back streets,
Not to be noticed.
She was unsaved.

Was she abused?
Was she just given up?
She walked so poor, not oneself.
"Why are you suffering?" -
I asked her heedfully.
And lo I realized:
It's my Soul herself.

I beg you, love quietly.
Forgive in true silence.
Just love each other
Without fool minds.

Please, love for good
As our life is so fleet.
It's but a moment
And love is so sweet!

Don't fear, love keenly!
It's your love! And that's it!
Catch hold of each instant
And listen to your heartbeat!

Please, love evermore
And not anyhow.
If you don't make so,
Love is not your endow!

The night fell down with a silk sheet.
The city sleeps.
The night is walking silently
Through concrete heaps.

She treads regally, barely touching
The dark stones.
The night has come, smiling lordly,
Into the throne.

The night's happy. It's to her liking
People's dreams.
They're sacred. All men in them
Are almost saints.

Well now, the night rejoices and rules!
It's her time!
She scatters the stars and the moon in the sky
To sublime.  

The night put out all lanterns
In city's streets.
The city sleeps quietly and soundly
Without all feats.

I'm so tired, Mum,
Of tackling a lot all the while,
Of hiding my nerves into a ring-mail,
Of running away all the time.

I'm so tired, Mum!
There're so much lies around!
It's so scary, I'm starting to feel
That I'm falling down.

I'm so tired, Mum!
It's so unfair! I can't even weep.
Fluff my pillow like for a kid, Mum.
I deathly want to sleep.

I forbid myself to love you!
It's unbearable!
It's like I'm tearing myself to pieces,
To shreds at all!
I madly want to be with you!
More than nearer!
But I forbid myself to think of you!
Not at all!

I forbid myself to remember you!
It's torture!
The sunshine in my window at dawn -
It's you!
Without you I maim my Soul!
I **** her!
My days, my dreams, my thoughts are naught
Without you!

It’s night, freezing much outside.
You’re talking about Paris…
Let me, please, sit closer to you
And I’ll move nearer to Paris.

You’re talking about Montmartre
And lo I am there by now.
I hear from all sides: “Oh, belle mademoiselle!”
I’m blushing as under the crown.

“Je suis fasciné par vous!” “Oh, merci!”
“Quelle beauté!” My feet are going numb.
“Asseyer-vous, s'il vous plait. Je veux peindre de vous!”
I can’t say no, and I sit down.

'Je marche sur Montmartre…'
And though I only dream it,
Beautiful Paris, that I see in your eyes,
Is enough for me to fall in love with it.

I’ll leave you at all, whispering,
So as not to awake you.
I’ll kiss you softly at parting
And I’ll never forget you.

Don’t feel sorry for me, my loving.
I will come to you in your sleeps.
I will be with you there, my dear.
But now I’ll just be in your dreams.

I’ll leave, covered the door behind me.
Don’t try to turn me back.
I’m an illusion, an impossible dream.
And when you arouse, you’ll find my lack.

I remember your hands.
They are strong and gentle!
I remember your eyes.
They're incredibly deep!
I remember your lips.
They're so mint and sinner!
I remember your voice.
It's the passion indeed!

I remember all:
As I was without you,
Alone as a pup,
Thrown into a ditch.
Weltered in life,
Ruined disgusting.
I was forgotten,
Dusted and *******.

I remember you.
You looked afar,
Past me at all,
As if an unknown.
You were so scared.
You chickened out,
You disappeared.
I'm now a stone.

I want to wander over the pavements,
The dawn bridges, the morning streets,
Where gentle wind caresses my hair.
I follow my happiness. I’m pure and sweet.

We’d walk together with weeks and years,
And time would go on unhurriedly long.
And I’d live my life, so cloudless, beauty,
Without any fear of love. I’d be strong.

I wouldn’t fear of stupid minds.
I wouldn’t hold unthinking people.
I wouldn’t be shy of one funny way –
To smile at passersby with a glance a little.

To love them all without purpose,
To see the world with wide open soul,
And love you whole without edges,
And wear your worn shirt. Not care that droll.

The dog's paw is broken.
The dog's in unbearable pain.
The dog's not whimpering.
It's as if happy. It's not on a chain.

The dog's satisfied with the sunshine.
And yesterday it was raining. That's bad...
Somebody threw a bone in the garbage.
It'll probable get it to eat beforehand.

Both dog's eyes are squinty.
It's warm and free now in whole
Yesterday's gone. Tomorrow'll be later.
Today the dog's calm at all

Hopelessness and desperation.
No place for me. I can't be found.
Just only doom and destination.
I'm like a ****** bride with no sound.

May be I spoiled, I don't conceal.
I sinned, repented and forgave.
And didn't live with mute appeal.
I'm not a saint, but not a knave.

I am like others: grudges, dances,
Triumph and errors, fear of all.
I am like others: love with candles
And then dark loneliness in whole

But only time made fun of me.
And didn't give a second chance.
All things I've done through daft stupidity,
I can't undo. Just in no stance.

Once upon a time, there was a love.
She lived in a responsive heart.
That love grew up and blossomed as amazing flower.
And they had never ever lived apart.

That love lived really like in heaven.
Her life was careless just to the full.
But once he came! Her curse and misery!
And love began to fade in full.

He weaned that love from joke and smiling.
She stopped to look with open eyes.
He was her ****, her full obsession.
She was his captive, no otherwise.

So heart was suffering, love was dying.
There was no happiness in their mood.
And heart, inspite of pain and sorrows,
Just let the love to leave for good.

Since then the heart is fully empty.
The love is gone. Where’s she and how?
No love, no truth, no faith, no kindness.
No point to live from then to now…  

There was a love. And she was pure,
Unblemished, naïve and to all.
But you destroyed her white perfection.
You make her suffer just in full.

I turned out the lights in my room.
I tightly pulled the curtains.
Your wilted bouquet is on the table.
Its dropping petals are so uncertain.

I’m not waiting for you anymore.
I closed my doors firmly.
If you call me, I won't sadly come.
It didn't work out. I'm lonely.

I'll make black coffee without milk.
I'll be up the whole night.
Now I have to find myself.
I said "Goodbye" to you last night.

My current life is in rewind mode.
I’m looking for answers. I’m looking for codes.
Calmness for me is like a ghost.
I’m looking for answers. They are foremost.

There’s no need for sorrow, no need for cry.
It counts for nothing. It's all a lie.
I need to find the very twist.
But time doesn’t slow down at least.

I’m going backwards. My memory’s tricky.
It keeps all in mind. It is so sticky.
I rake up all: how loved, how fought,
How I forgave, and how I sought.

I spilled into ash, but I got up.
I saved myself, but others closed up.
I’m digging, throwing, looking for answers.
It beats me whole. It’s like a cancer.

What if that's all a fiction, a wrong?
Like the Atlantis, sunk too long.
A legend, which is almost forgotten.
And me, who wasn’t loved as a rotten.

And now I’m going back again,
Ridiculous, clumsy, unhelpful, mundane.  
My world relocated a long time ago.
It’s an emptiness warehouse, a storage of Echo.

Hello, my darling! How do you feel?
What are you doing? Don’t be so shy!
Don’t worry, honey, I won’t leave you.
Come on, go into! Maybe tea with a pie?

I’ve caught sight of you for a long time.
I’ve simply kept quite about it.
And before you noticed me yourself,
I studied you whole, to be truthful of it.

I knew we’d have to go inseparably
Though life together until the end.
I won’t deny, I wasn’t thrilled with
That part of journey. But I couldn’t contend.

I realize the years take their toll.
Don’t get me wrong. I will be sad a short time.
But I am sane and I am sighted.
And I conceive in whole that mine is mine.

I won’t cry and I won’t rueful.
I’m ready to take you all with no trace.
Come in, my wrinkle. You see, I’m not boring.
Come here! And let me hug you, my Grace!