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Maria 2d
I miss you just so much right now!
I want to hug you more and more!
And I’ll remember for a long time
That dark and gentle night ardour.

The sky was like a raven plumage,
A canvas for all stars in whole.
You hugged my shoulders, stroked my hair.
We were engaged to love at all.

And on the roof, as at the sky door,
We peered into the heart of stars.
We met a cart of boltless lightning.
It slipped the voile of love on us.

There was no fear, there was no doubt.
Only the sky and me and you.
It was my unforgettable moment!
You’re here, darling! I love you!
This poem is about beautiful and sincere love.
Thank you for reading it! 💖
Maria 7d
The evening is quiet, clear and fresh.
I’m walking along the shore.
I’m wearing only few clothes now,
Only your shirt and nothing more.

I’m stepping onto the damp, warm sand.
How pleasant its touch is!
I’m not in a hurry. I want to inhale
The waning of this aloof day’s breeze.

We wandered here with you beforetime,
Holding hands, breathing in time.
Love and peace were around us.
But then all went wrong, not in rhyme.

Now I’m walking along the shore.
I’m walking alone, delighting in sunset.
I’m gulping my tears and walking straight.
That must be the way it has to be instead.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖🙏
Jul 17 · 60
I want to get lost
Maria Jul 17
I so want to get lost at all,
That no one would find my way.
Just vanish, dissolve, disappear,
That even my waft would fade away.

I'm ready to drop off the radar,
Like a loan garden, without a trace.
So that only a withered echo
Of my existence will reach ears.

The echo will fade, the memory'll cancel
And all will sink into a life sand.
But if I suddenly fail, if I couldn't,
I beg you, don't find me, at no hand.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖
Jul 14 · 102
Love for me is ...
Maria Jul 14
Love for me is a gift,
Heaven bestowed.
It’s a rushing waterfall,
The amazing desired award.

Love for me is happiness,
Which is forever appeased.
And if you get it suddenly,
Please, don’t ever miss it.

Love for me is an evening,
Where candles are burning and nobody…
You’re gently stroking my hand and whispering
Something solely for me.

Love for me is the world,
Where’re both of us - me and you!
My photo is in your phone screen.
My darling, how I love you!
This poem is about real tender love! Thank you for reading it!💖
Maria Jul 12
When miracles were given away,
It's found that there weren't them for me.
Maybe they didn't put down me in list
Or I forgot to join a queue, you see?

Maybe I got on a shift turnover.
Wizardry's also a job, hearsay,
With lunches, holidays and days off surely.
There're no fools to work the whole days.

Well, I guess I'll have to wait.
I'm a human. I know what's what.
I'll scroop by myself. I'll be patient.
I'll do my best. I hope I would.
Thank you very much for reading it! 🙏💖
Maria Jul 9
Please, call me to the place where my tomorrow was,
Where all my fears and failures were no where,
Where I laughed much and danced a whole lot,
Where we both were together, you and me, just everywhere!

Please call me to the place where snowfalls
Entirely reign in winter, and frost is.
Where rains and leaf-falls are in autumn fully
And wrap with spicy odour all as coverlid.

Please Call me to the place where I was loved!
And where I loved wholeheartedly, without “May not!” at all!
Please call me to the place where I was free!
I beg you, call me to my place! It's not for all
It's a dream, a weariness, a plea for help. And it's a poem of love also...
Thank you for reading it! 💖
Jul 7 · 123
I thought...
Maria Jul 7
I thought it would turn out.
I thought the time acted in tune with me.
I thought I was strong.
I thought it would be like a movie.

I know it was my mistake.
I thought it all seemed to me.
I can't believe still
That the fate can so bully me
Sometimes we have very difficult circumstances from which it is impossible to get out of without losses.
Thank you for reading it 🙏
Jul 4 · 104
I blend with the crowd
Maria Jul 4
I blend with the crowd of those resembling,
Torn, abandoned, empty and waste,
Meek and faded, walking with bows,
Forgotten the hand warmth, the others, unfaced.

The others, who’ve lost both faith and nerves,
The others, who’ve learnt a cruel lesson,
The others, walled up to the full limit,
The others, whose souls are wholly lessened.
Thank you very much for reading it! 🙏💕
Jul 1 · 160
My unknown
Maria Jul 1
Hello, whom I'll never meet,
Never hear, never forget,
Never loose and never find,
Never spot and never mind.

Hello, who'll turn up in my dreams,
Who'll never let me to taste the pain,
Who'll never betray and never lie,
Who'll never depart without goodbye.

I take leave of you, my unknown one,
My unsearchable and remarked for none,
My unnamed and mythic for last,
But so endlessly and sweetly loved.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖
Jun 29 · 92
I thought over
Maria Jun 29
There was so much I wanted to say to you,
But I didn’t make it.
Like a beast at bay I was in a hurry
And eager to thataway.
I thought: “I’ll achieve my goals and dreams
That I need and then
Everything will go and run, and fly,
In a right way.”

It seemed to me that my story
Will surely happen.
And I exchanged myself recklessly
For nothing important at all.
I never imagined that my life
Would be depopulated,
And what’s left of it will turn into
A paper ******* in whole.

I’ve got to gather it all by any means, really.
I must have foolishly outdone my fate all over.
And you… Sorry, I will be honest with you, my dear:
There was so much to say to you, but I thought over.
Unfortunately, we are very often wrong, misguided and on the wrong track in our life... Thank you very much for reading!🙏💖
Jun 27 · 98
I love you greedily
Maria Jun 27
I’ll walk up to you, barely soft-footed
At the back…
Don’t turn round! I beg you! Don’t move!
For God’s sake!

I’ll nuzzle my wet forehead
Into your back.
I’ll put my hands on your shoulders.
They’ll press pack.

I’ll stick to you all over!
With whole body!
Even if they’re down on me and think,
It’s *****.

I love you greedily, endlessly! Whole,
Not half!
Asking nothing instead, recklessly ruining
Myself!
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
Jun 25 · 152
My hopelessness
Maria Jun 25
I woke up early today.
I woke up close to the sun.
There's an abyss of thoughts in my head,
Those that can't be there. None.

I try not to think. I try to sleep back.
But it's no use! They press for no why.
They press in my temples! They press pack my chest!
Thoughts of those, who scarifies.

I don't know where to run me whole?
Where can I find my peace?
It's my hopelessness... It's my end...
I guess they are my guilt and penance.
Thank you for reading this poem! 🙏
Jun 23 · 225
I had a dream
Maria Jun 23
I had an odd dream wherein there was the Love.
The Love that I had never met afore.
The Love where I drew in again, again.
The Love I’ve only heard or not before.

The Love for which the world is not enough.
The Love that makes me bite my lips in full.
The Love that is triumphally triumphed.
My so dreamlike Love and trully thankful.

My Love where is no dirt and falsehood.
The Love which has no other base than love...
But my dream’s passed and I’m left alone with
Alien, so ******, feather-brained Unlove.
That's the poem about Unlove, which can make too much pain. It's often ugly and ******...
Thank you very much for reading it! 🙏
Jun 21 · 119
Unlove
Maria Jun 21
Let’s try without needless words,
Unnecessary pauses and empty doubts
To finish out fairy tale, titled “Unlove”.
Let’s stop all fights. We have no other outs.

Let’s try without needless tears
To recognize that we're both orphaned.
We’ve been repaid wholly for our Unlove:
Our hearts are faded, our souls're ossified.

Let’s try without needless words
To say the only one and single phrase:
“Forgive me for this poor Unlove!”
It’ll be the rare truth without any haze.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 💖🙏
Jun 19 · 204
No more words
Maria Jun 19
No more words. You’re right, it’s enough
Of mussy clusters of meaningless phrases.
All thoughts are chilled and are wrapped in pain.
It’s not an interesting story for us.

Colors have faded, cleaned out with time.
The beauty’s become decrepit in whole.
The past has been a depressing burthen.
An emptiness’s hanged over us in full.

There’re no more words.
Feelings are rootless.
We’re free of each other.
Our love is bootless.
It's the story about the end of love.
Thank you very much for reading it! 🙏💖
Jun 17 · 176
What a night tonight…
Maria Jun 17
What a night tonight…
It’s quiet, quiet!
No sounds, no crunches, no breeze,
It’s not like last day.

Now it would be the time
To talk about love with you.
But the Night is wild
Let’s not stress her out anyway.

What a night tonight…
It’s dark, dark!
There’re no grudge, no grief, no sorrow.
It’s all gone.

Let’s sit in silence with you
Meet the dawn,
And both dissolve,
When it gets light whole.

There’ll be the dawn, and we’ll realize,
There’s no need to lie.
Cause there’s no love, only a plume
Of empty hopes.

And we won’t have to break and tear.
It’s all empty.
There’s no you and me, no us.
It’s just a mope.
This poem is about the end, the end of love.
Thank you very much for reading it!💖
Maria Jun 15
Amidst the crowd she’s alone,
Amidst all hundreds of friends and others.
She’s alone. She sits by herself.
Amidst empty and worthless dialogues.

It’s as if she’s being overlooked.
It’s like as if she’s in silence cloud.
Her thoughts are quiet for all them.
She’s far away. She’s lost in the crowd.

She lives in her own world of dreams,
Without fictions, lies and falsehood.
Her footsteps are quiet for others as streams.
Nobody knows what'll be her remote.

And she lives in her tiny world.
Worries and fears are endless there.
It seems as if she’s attached in whole
To all her pain, which bites and bares.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 💖
Jun 13 · 61
And what’s then?
Maria Jun 13
And what’s then? What’s left?
Maybe the faith that the day'll beep,
That day when the sun pushs cheekily
To windows, disturbing sleep.

That day when there’s no sadness,
When everything’s clear and plain!
That day when the soul is married
To happiness, sprayed with rain.

That day when all the trumpets around
Struck the march, bravura and blessed!
That day when I live the whole time
Just live without any dread.
Thank you for reading! 💖
Jun 11 · 290
Let’s dance
Maria Jun 11
Let’s dance in our half-light room,
To our melody, you and me.
I have no evening dress and you also haven’t .
But I just ask you, dance with me.

You are so shy right now. It’s so sweet.
Come to me closer.I’m trembling whole.
Take my hand, and come nearer.
I’ll smile and won't say any words at all.

We’ll be circling at the edge of the Universe
In our room, where half-light is.
We’ll be silent just to dissolved
In our love. Two hearts’re in time with.

I'm gently placing my hands on your shoulders.
They are so dear, my own ones!
Let us dance. It's our evening,
Our dance under stars at our love.
They are in a half-light room, they are only two and their love...

Thank you for reading this romantic poem! 💖
Jun 10 · 147
A candle-end
Maria Jun 10
There won’t be more tears and wailing
About that things which can’t be back.
We’ve gone without fake feelings.
What for? Just wipe with no regret
A quarter of out life’s road
Like the last out main word.
We can shake up what have been or not.
Why should we rip up for ought?

You’re right there’s no need to be penitent
If love is drunk out at all.
We should close it, blink and move next.
We have only one life after all!
And there’s something big and visible,
What lies ahead for you anyway.
Just gain ground and don’t look behind,
As if I've never been on your way.

But I beg! I conjure! I pray you!
Never look for me again.
I’m gone, I’m dried, I’m disappered
Like a burned out candle-end.
It's one more story about sad love. 💔
Thank you very much for reading! 💖
Maria Jun 8
She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And she was constantly peering into the far distance.
She didn’t think what would happen to her with that.
The rain was covering all her pinching sadness.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
She wasn’t crying, no, she was getting wet.
The rain was pitiful to her and crying heart out,
Not realizing that she was extremely wet.

She was waiting for him outside the house in the rain.
And the rain wasn’t calm. It was simply pelting.
She must have made mistake - the house was wrong.
Or maybe he forgot her and stopped waiting.
It's a small story about sad love, based on true events. Again about love... Again about rain...
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
Maria Jun 7
Will you remember her?
She was so fun after all!
She laughed by eyes, laughed softly.
She was so light and airly at all.
Will you remember her?

Will you remember her?
She so loved all sunsets,
Loved stars and caught their light!
She ran away in her sleeps some place.
Will you remember her?

Will you remember her?
She so adored winter laugh,
Snowdrifts to be higher, the snow to be white
And bitterlly cold and not in half.
Will you remember her?

You will remember her!
She so loved to love!
She gave of herself wholeheartedly!
She couldn’t live without love!
You will remember her!
Love is often so simple, so light, so airy, so pure, so real. But we just don't see it. But then, when we remember, it all comes back in our memory...
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 💖
Jun 5 · 593
I miss you so much!
Maria Jun 5
I miss you sadly and so much!
And even if I just don’t know you,
Or maybe I won’t nay find you
And in no case and never lose you.

I miss the words. I miss so much
The words, that never will be spoken,
The dreams, that knotted not on me.
They’ll be fulfilled not us, but someone.

I miss the hands. I miss so much!
They would be able to hug sweetly.
I miss the hair, careless a bit,
And lips… Yes, lips! I miss them really!

I miss their touching, hot and sultry,
Which can just never been delivered.
But even as I never know you,
I’ll love you truly with a quiver.
Again about love...
Thank you for reading! 💖
Maria Jun 4
I’ve known you a long time,
Probably the eviternity.
Now I’m as if in a stupid film,
Trying to roll up the infinity.

Your grimace is clear-cut.
Your taunts are plain.
Your eyes are as if pictured.
You’re near, and they’re far-away.

Your hair is at my finger-tips.
It’s rigid and rough as strings.
Touch them by hand and here's the space.
Your hair’s reminds stings.

Your silence is my kaiken -
A short sword and a precise beat.
You despised me by your muteness.
How familiar is your cheat!

Your firmly closed lips
Are like a mask of tragic jesters.
Do you hear trumpets are playing afar?
A strange love is being buried there.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 💖
Maria Jun 3
A woman, who’s really tired,
Hasn’t even go to bed.
It’s past midnight and all over again.
Her bed’s still fully made.

A woman, who’s really tired,
Forgot what sleep is.
She spent herself but stably accepted
Her Destiny’s painful decrees.

A woman, who’s really tired,
Wants simply and plainly to be.
She stopped laughing long ago.
She rarer wants to speak.

A woman, who’s really tired
Of blaming herself for breathe,
A woman, who’s still feeling,
Has simply the right to live!
Thank you for reading it! 🙏💖
Maria Jun 1
All songs are sad, the poems aren’t better.
Maybe I should remake them all?
Re-write, re-concoct, re-live, re-slobbered!
Maybe they should be re-baked in whole?

So that instead of the night there’s the sun!
And in place of the blizzard there’s summer.
And no sadness! Out with the blues!
No more tears! No ill lucks and dramas!

And what about love? We’ll keep it on!
But let’s go and change my loving colors!
Instead of the rain and sleepless nights,
We’d paint white camomiles and flashy covers.

The wind would always be tail-on,
And love would live into old life.
Cinnamon, almond, vanilla aromas…
Am I right? Is that the smell of happy life?

I’ll write such “love story”, where they both
Love each other and were both faithful.
The sun shines brightly, birds sing clearly,
And they both live till their death in full.

I’ll finish writing this loving poem
And put it on the back shelf grandly.
I can be inaccurate, but I don’t like it.
And in my poems I won’t lie fully!

All songs are sad, the poems aren’t better.
I won’t remake them all in no way.
I love and I write my fanciful life!
And I will do it further alway!
I often hear questions like these: "Why do you write sad poems? Why is love in your poems nearly always with a touch of sadness? Can you write something cheerful?" This poem is my answer for all this and future questions. Sorry for it's so long and multiword. )
Thank you very much for reading it to the very end! 💖💖💖
Maria May 29
Hold off on your verdict for her now.
Put by your own condemnations.
You never lived behind the wall
In the grip of grievous self-abnegations.

In the morning, while opening eyes,
She destroys and despises herself in whole!
She hates herself! She abhors the world,
Which she has made by herself alone.

She wants everything would disappeared,
Evaporated as though it's never been
So that there's nothing left around,
Nothing reminded of her as she's been.

And she would start with a blank sheet.
Forgiven, redeemed and clearly blameless,
Hold off on your verdict for her now,
For her, who leans over ruins.
Very often people are criminally deaf and blind to those around them. And how often they simply don't hold off on their verdict.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 🙏💖
Maria May 27
I’m tired of being your shadow.
Wherever you are, I’m near.
I live at your dictation.
I’m chained by your sight here.

I used to live in silence.
To love, to suffer and no words at all.
If it hurts me, I bear without squirming.
If you only knew, how I want to bawl.

I’ve learned to be not certain,
Unheard, unnoted, noneself.
You see, I can be your shadow.
But I’m tired! I want to be myself!
Thank you for reading this poem! 🙏💖
May 26 · 78
No chance
Maria May 26
Everything’s broken, shattered,
Scattered completely asunder.
And I’m left as a steppe mat grass.
Only crows go round and thunder.

Only crows go round, and their wings
Chase out my reckless life.
I should run after her, but I’m beat.
I can’t catch up with her. I’m lowlife.

I’m lowlife. I can’t hand her back.
I would apologise! I'd confess!
Everything went amiss with us.
It’s a shame that we'll get no chance.
Thank you for reading this poem! 🙏💖
Maria May 25
And she just wanted a little sunshine
Among this obscence malodorous mud.
She just wanted to hide in sun rays
From this dirtiness, from this crud.

And she just wanted to be joyful.
She wanted to laugh but not in hysterics,
That rippling laughter would wink with a smile.
She wanted a gladness, and no mysteries.

She also wanted a lot of snow,
So white, so huge, with snow banks!
But you found nothing better than damage all!
Aren’t you people? There’s nothing sacred!

And she just wanted a little happiness.
You were so stingy, and she would have shared.
She didn’t have grunge for you, she didn’t have meanness…
At the beginning… Look, what you’ve achieved that!  

Look, what you’ve turned the angel into.
She walks without the sun through the mud.
She’s lost, but she isn’t humiliated.
Why have you done all that to her, my God?!

All that she wanted was little sunshine,
A little warmth and simple happiness.
And you thought that it was ****** and silly.
You tore her soul to pieces! You’re merciless!

Torn to shreads, appalled and pained,
She still walks because she’s alive.
And you keep on spill all with mud,
Without seeing her, burn up and deprive.
This poem is filled with pain. It's an autobiographical story. I remembered it today because I need the strength that I had then, that pulled me through and helped me to move on...
Thank you very much for reading it! 🙏💖
Maria May 22
I dreamt of our house, which doesn't exist...
I'll light a candle in it and greet the dawn.
I'll feel sad by candlelight. I'll be missed.
I want you'll be near me in our house for long!

I'll walk into the garden, which doesn't exist...
I'll pick white camomiles and make a bunch.
I'll put it on the table. It'll be my feast.
Just fly into my dream! I please you much!

We'll stroll in a forest, which doesn't exist...
I'll mass there an armfull of autumn leaves.
I'll throw them into the sky. They'll be a mist.
And they'll be falling slowly under the breeze.

I dreamt of our house.  And maybe is it?
It's somewhere over the hill, green all.
The garden is so very overgrown. I'll revive it.
I'll light the candle for you to come for all.
I love my dreams. Sometimes I even want to go back to my dreams. Sometimes I do. The magic of the night, the magic of dream, the possibility to dream, to be sad, to suffer without barriers and taboos...
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 💖
May 20 · 157
Tell me something...
Maria May 20
Tell me that I’ll pull through,
Or I’m a little bit feel down.
For you it’s just a trifle,
And for me it’ll give a strength crown.

I'll know there's someone believes in me
I'll just hear, that he's somewhere.
Even it’s not true, doesn’t matter.
Tell lies! I really don’t care!

Tell me that I’ll overcome,
That my spirit is really strong.
But don’t pry into my soul.
It’s sealed up with black wax for long.

It shouldn’t be touched soever,
It’s only the time for its rest.
Tell me that I’ll pull through.
Tell me something! I want to be confessed!
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 🙏💖
May 18 · 537
Save me!
Maria May 18
Save me! I'm so afraid of falling off
All radars and locators of existence.

Save me! I'm so afraid of waking up
And making sense that I'm at far distance.

Save me! While it's no late at all,
While I can hear the pain inside and see the light.

Save me! While it's still possible.
While I'm here, cause tomorrow's my affright.
Thank you very much for reading this poem, my pain... 🙏💖
May 16 · 291
Don’t touch the soul!
Maria May 16
Don’t touch the soul! It is alive!
It can remember a great deal!
Its memories are like a hive.
Don’t touch the soul! It is too leal!

Don’t worm into the soul rudely
Like in a thicket, breaking twigs.
Just listen, how it's drawly groaning!
Attend to its so silent pleas!

The soul is tortured! Please, don't touch it!
If you can’t love, just pass it by!
Don’t touch the soul! I pray, don’t break it!
The soul hurts! Don’t let it die!
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 🙏💖
Maria May 13
I'll close my eyes. I'll smile. I'll keep quiet.
Tears are nothing and I realize it.
I realize, but I don't want to!
To live, to breathe without you, like you do!

I'll give a hug and run my hand over
Your rough unshaven cheek, my lover.
And I will go away, I'll pass you by with no trick.
But only my heart will be filled with a heart-break.

You're a stranger and I'm a stranger too.
I swear, I won't cry and I won't be blue.
But how can I calm down my heart after all?
I don't want to stop loving you! Forever and whole!
Thank you for reading this poem! It's again about love!💖
Maria May 11
I should allow myself doing nothing.
It's odd, it's not a bit me at all.
Working and working, on and on always.
There's short of days and nights noway in whole.

I should allow myself off-the-cuff,
Thinking or straining nowise entirely.
Just sit around and doing nothing,
And savour my unsweet coffee calmly.  

I should allow myself simply never
Leave my desires and dreams until later.
I'm not forever with this time exactly.
I'm a grain of creation in fact, no greater.

I should allow myself to live truly,
To live this life as it's given to me since day one.
And now simply live, there is no hurry.
I've already much more and awry done.
These thoughts have been filling me whole lately.
Thank you for reading this poem. 🙏💖
May 9 · 164
I guess...
Maria May 9
What do I want? The meaning, I guess.
But only such as can fill me whole,
All my gaps and all my holes.
Yes, I want such meaning, I guess.

What else, you ask me? Freedom, I guess.
Where I won’t be in the grips,
Where the pain won’t throb in my temples.
Yes, I want such freedom, I guess.

What do I dream of? Silence, I guess.
No sounds, no creaks, no rustles at all,
A calm pulse and the air in whole.
Yes, I dream of such silence, I guess.
Maybe it's a soul-searching... Or it's an attempt to escape...
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
May 8 · 478
We'll get through
Maria May 8
My grey cat curls up
Down by my side.
It'll be a long night.
We'll get through.

Rain's knocking the bench
There, outside.
It'll pass off after night.
We'll get through.

I'm staring the ceiling.
The darkness's the same
I can't sleep again.
Well, we'll get through.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! 🙏💖
May 6 · 452
I want...
Maria May 6
I want to say "Morning" to you every day,
When I wake up sweetly at first light,
To drink coffee with you under lilac
On the open terrace, laughing on sight.

I want to plunge into my thought darkness
And get only major of them therefrom.
They mantle my day, and it'll be cleaner.
And happiness will be my master for all.

I want to throw out all foul thoughts
About my fierce fortune in whole.
I want to revive, to cheer up, to uncover
And get off meek beggings forever at all.

I want to stop making the Deity from pain.
But I've got nothing work out at full.
And I continue to kowtow to my pain,
Begging for save as the latest fool.
I'm so tired of pain. And there's so much pain around and inside me. Sometimes I really think that it's the Deity and I should worship it to save. I try to stop it...
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
May 4 · 382
Spring in your eyes
Maria May 4
I want to look into your gentle eyes
And drown in them for days and nights at all!
I miss your eyes, where spring lies close.
I'm sad for them, I'm melancholy whole.

My body's darted with a shiver all at once,
When I begin to think of your strong hands.
I know, you'll never come again, my loving
And I will have only my deepest sense.

I miss your chiselled and your noble profile,
Your captivating and so sensual lips.
I wish I could hand back again even on one day
Your blessed soft voice, just though in my sleeps.
Again about love... 🧡
Thank you for reading this poem!💖
May 2 · 512
My coffee's got a cold
Maria May 2
It’s morning. I woke up. It’s hatefully grey.
I’d close my eyes and go back to sleep.
Thoughts wander around me like chimeras
And weave their nets from all sides of me.

I think I’ll make one of them just a reality:
I’ll make some coffee, there’s no other way.
The day won’t work out without coffee.
And there’ll be a mess in my head anyway.

I’m up. What a nebulous nasty morning.
It shamelessly drives me crazy at all.
And why did I suddenly feel wholly
That I know all about myself?
What a fool?

What a phenomenal wacky silliness!
What a criminal irrational nonsense!
I thought that tomorrow is really fatal
As it was in the same way for years.

And what is in point of fact?
Where’s tomorrow?
All colors around me are totally dim.
I try to find my previous strong energy,
But only monotony is all-around me.

It was so simple yesterday, but now it’s ugly.
My coffee’s sneezing. It’s got a cold.
Well, I’ll go to live just like that, don’t look behind.
And I will live as long as I can, with no support.
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
May 1 · 920
Rain
Maria May 1
It's raining outside right now. It's raining.
It's beating down the dust on silent pavements.
I waited you to come the day before.
Today I've realized it was bedevilment.

I've realized it when I saw your smile
In raindrops, flowing down the window,
Your pretty eye wrinkles, so tremulous and soft,
And you in whole, so false and so ridiculous.

Waiting for you, alas, is not my lot.
No yesterday or next day, and no later.
I hate the rain today! I really hate the rain!
There's so much pain in it. I stop to be a waiter.
Sorry for being sad again.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖
Apr 29 · 282
Leave me a pinch of love
Maria Apr 29
I stand in front of you, stunt, sickly.
My eyes are rayless, my skin is weakly.
No sign of joy or peg to life.
I'm tangled in whole in a net of lies.

I don't cry, but tears are all around.
It's like a life circle for me is shut down.
I don't scream - no strength, no strife.
It's like a mouse has gnawed of all my life.

I stand in front of you, disheveled.
I'm like a book, thumbed through, bedevilled.
And there's no use or purpose in it.
Her place is on the far shelf indeed.

I stand in front of you as I am right now.
Don't drive me away from you, put up with somehow.
I've no strength, no faith, no meaning, no purpose.
Leave me a pinch of love at least, with no pose.
Thank you very much for reading my poem! 💖
You give me the opportunity to tell about my state, my feelings, my experiences and my pain. It's very important for me. Thank you very much!💖
Apr 27 · 228
I didn't leave fast
Maria Apr 27
I didn't leave fast.
I walked a millimeter at a time.
I left you not at once.
I waited. I didn't move. I paused in my rhyme.

I vanished in drops.
I took myself from you little by little.
I didn't even notice that
I pulled away from you in whole, up to tittle.
I've never been able to get out of a relationship all at once. For some reason, I felt like I could still fix it, get it back. That's my experience.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖
Apr 24 · 353
I am ashamed!
Maria Apr 24
I am ashamed to live today!
There’s too much malodorous mud!
I want to create, to win, to love!
But how’s it possible?
The evil’s crowned!

I look out the window and see the sky.
I go out the yard and hear the groan.
It’s up in the air, ashamedly, clumsy.
It understands that the final is known.

I am ashamed for this crippled truth.
The fact, that seemed like a nonsense yesterday,
Is now a reality where we have to be.
I don't want to live here!
Just noway!
Noway!
I'm ashamed to live today! And no more words!
Thank you very much for reading! 🖤
Apr 22 · 224
I believe in you
Maria Apr 22
I believe in you with every my cell,
With every atom of my body.
If they don’t believe in you, I don’t care.
I don’t care about anybody.

I believe you with all my wounded heart,
With every fiber of my soul.
I can warm up only when I’m with you.
Just let me be with you in whole.

I believe in you! I believe you!
You won’t forsake or betray.
When you’re nearby, I believe in myself.
I’ll pull through in my life anyway!
I wrote this for someone very important to me. Thanks to him, I often got up when it seemed impossible.
Thank you very much for reading it! 💖
Apr 21 · 312
Sentenced
Maria Apr 21
She’s standing, pressed against the cold wall,
Trampled.
She’d be crying now, but there’re no tears.
They’re lost.
There are so many people around, but not a soul,
Just robots.
She awaits no gifts from fate,
She’s like a ghost.
She accepted her script a long time ago.
She’s playing.
She’d like to try a different life, but
She can’t.
It’ll be like before, she will be back.
She’s still feeling.
She will just live and she will await,
Sentenced in full, not half.
Thank you very much for reading! 💖
Apr 18 · 422
Re-fa-la
Maria Apr 18
Mum, my sweetheart, I’m tired.
Do you believe or not?

It’s like my legs are broken under
Or maybe they’re gone for short.

My head is being torn apart
By different odd thoughts.

And I can’t, I can't stop thinking.
Fears are around. More mots.

I ***** up my eyes firmly.
I instantly stop my ears.

And I’m silent again, silent again
As if there’re no dread and fears.

Mum, my sweetheart, I’m tired!
I don’t want being afraid to live!

I’m so tired mum! I’m really tired!
There’re too much atrocities.
It’s true, not a myth.

Just little bells,
Ding-****, ding-****,
Are chirping sweet sounds.
How nice is their song.

There’s not a bit truth
In that saccharine ‘re-fa-la’.
But there won't be nothing else.
We can’t live without lie.
Thank you very much for reading this poem! It's particularly personal, inside out, painful... 🙏
Apr 16 · 325
You packed in yesterday
Maria Apr 16
You packed in yesterday
And all that you left
Is your touch on my hair
And only your breath.

You packed in yesterday
Just leaving behind
Kisses of your lips
And your cool "Unwind".

Maybe you want that
I'll entrust wholly
All my desires
To this night truly?

Just say me that!
And no other cue!
Nothing else matter
But being with you!

You packed in yesterday,
Leaving me memory
And this dead night,
Without you, but me.
This poem was born under very strange, not at all poetic circumstances. I was waiting for a medical procedure at an ophthalmological clinic. My eyes couldn't see. So I began to dig into my memory, into my past. I remembered a sad story from my life.  And that memory took the form of this poem.
Thank you for reading this poem! 💖
Apr 13 · 306
My heartlet is crying
Maria Apr 13
My heartlet is crying, crying.
It means it’s hurt of lying.
It means it’s been stepped on again.
Its faith has been killed disdain.

And again it’s like an abandoned whelp
In a field of unmown grass with no help,
Is looking for path and crying, crying.
It means it’s in lots of pain. It’s dying.
Thank you for reading my poem!💖
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