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ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
I rushed to you...  in my light weighted white servant dress.. into your main hall way of many plans...

My Lord... you stood there... your back towards me... but slowly, you turned around and motioned me to come towards you

My eyes did not loose focus as I ran up to you and knelt before your holy presence... and lifted up my hands

"You called for me Oh Lord... What do you ask of me?"

"Another hall of rooms requires your skill in cleaning and organization." Was his command

"A....Another hall?  More rooms?...." I questioned, my head lifted up to see cold sincerity take over his faithful eyes

A single finger pointed in the direction I never thought it would point... I felt my jaw drop...my legs.. I couldn't stand

"My Lord... That hall... Are you certain?" I asked with hesitation. But questioning him only made the answer more clear

"Does the Perfect make mistakes?" His question to my question was my answer... My mind sunk like sand

"...Forgive me but...All the rooms?" I said as my voice lost it's life filled sound... My eyes leaking as I caught a glimpse of the dark unknown rooms...

He grabbed one of my hands and made me stand on my feet. Knowing all of my doubtful thoughts... since I am apart of man

"I will open and close the doors as I see fit in My Perfect Timing... Just obey and trust my words my Good and Faithful Servant..."

I shook my head... I saw strangers... I saw places I never wished to visit... I felt my plans being hanged

"But...My God...what about the hall I've been asking to do for several years? When will I do that one? Why can't I do that one?"

I heard the doors of that hall slam shut, within a gasp of a breath I turned around... pupils shaken.. mind banged

"Thy Will Be Done... Do you not trust my judgement of having you do this hall? Do you not hear nor see your calling? Christina? "

"STOP!" I screamed as I dared to flee form his royal company... and rebelled against his command... My heart beats jammed

I crashed my small frail body that slowly grew gray and dark into the doors of the hall I desired...

I screamed... I shouted.... I wept... I begged... although I knew His mind would never be changed... My wants were ******

"Please... I have so many plans for this hall... maybe if you just listened.... I can't see my self in that other hall..."

I heard His unshakeable foundation of foot steps grow louder as He walked in my direction... reminding me of his demand

"Don't you believe I have plans for you in that other hall? Maybe if YOU just listen to me... You'll see why I see you in that other hall"

I was a fool to try to convince Him...but there was where I remained... refusing to move...for I didn't understand...

Forever by my side He remained...despite my disobedience... I tried to push Him away from me.. from my plans... my hopes

But little did I know what He had in store... as I saw people from the other hall walk towards me... hearing Him say "My plan for you... is Grand..."

*Thy Will Be Done...
Unsure about a Part 2... What Do You Think? Write it in the comments below...

Thank you <3

Cat Lynn ///
For Dates 2/9/18 - 2/11/18
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
Letter Written By: Anonymous
Gender: Unknown
Location: Classified
Time: Unsure

Alright, my fellow partners, your patience has paid off, you will now see, my promise was never scoffed

Please do, put your wonders and theories aside, I beckon, let victory and rest abide

I have seen her... Indeed I have... No Lie, I can assure.

If I may, introduce the beginning, with a normal work day for me, doing her bidding...


"Ma'am? Tis a brighter morning then usual I can assure you. The flowers in your fathers garden are full and blue"

With Pleasure I spoke as I knocked upon her white wooden door that blended in with the walls and floor.

"Tis nice dear worker, close friend... to hear such happy things... but it's those things that, very soon, disappear in the end... "

I lightly laid a gentle hand over the ****, and I not even through this letter, can I describe the ice biting concern that throbbed.

"Ma'dam, Dear lady, forgive me, but this close friend, has not seen Thy self for days, has our bond growth weak?"

Thy Ma'dam chose not to speakth for a time.  My shallow mind began to think that my words, her ears, have chosen to decline

".... Dear?" I voiced with hesitation. But comfort soon sprouted once her door unlocked it'self to me, to reveal the situation

With caution and a sense of danger, I entered my self into the room... the room that changed... along with her

How do I explain’th without sounding as if I have lost it?

Physically, nothing of the room was altered, but... the mentality and purpose of the room was disordered.

My eyes wavered on what was once colorful, and lovely, but is now dark.. but depressingly beautiful.. quiet a discovery...

"You've entered. Desperate to see'th me? Come closer then Thy servant, if you summon your agree,

"I do Ma'dam, I would not swear my life on a lie to thee. If I am, in a second, my heart, I ****"

Deep apologies for my impatient and anxious course of my next actions. Because through it, I felt a cold rock scrapping force.

I ran... Indeed I ran, how childish of me I will admit.  But my feet magnetized themselves to ground, the darkness would not permit.

"....My... my Dear Ma'dam?" I questioned, for there she gracefully stood, but deathly she starred at me, and distressful, I forgot to mention.

"Your right... it is a bright morning..." She said as black lip smile formed upon that gorgeous pale face.

Very slowly, she'd walk along the side of the curtain so more light may be revealed. Alas such glory!

"I am ashamed of you, you see me in shadows cloak... You have now witnessed the brokenness Pain provoked."

"But, my Dark Ma'dam! Why display your distress in such an abyss  of a dress?"

I questioned as I knelt at her highness's feet, the feet that had slipped into darkness; Defeat.

"Rise'th now, my brilliant friend, it is the time I stand weak where you must stand strong. A phase everyone goes through; and yes, it maybe long."

...I should'th rise... but my weak heart was rebellious to her commands... I refused... I declined to stand

Her breath did quicken, yes, a heavy burden hand laid'th on my shoulder... and it pressed

"Forgive me... Princess" I quickly spoke'th as I rose and dared to look into her eyes of starry highness.

"What I display... I dare not hide, for it is wise to release these mournful memories... to let them go... to let them die..."

I felt guilty... I'm afraid... that I felt so scared to stand alongside her... after making such a statement... cursed fear...

"Go... Do tell me when a brighter morning comes to visit me... I hope'th, that it'll be soon, possibly on the same day of the new moon..."

"A new moon? For sure Ma'dam? I don't mean to flaunt, but I feel it's necessary to warn you... those nights are quit the trap... quit the threatening haunt..."

She didn't speak'th a word, those cold shouldered eyes spoke words I didn't think eye could speak; I heard.

She turned her laced corset back towards my direction, closing the conversation, leaving my mind in suspension...

and with my pupils rearrange in focus on the sorrowful expression on my devoted one's face,  I left her presence, my happiness erased...

Can you see? Can you see the desperate help she is in? and yet you, your family, you fear-filled chickens of a flock tell me join in?

I must end this letter and not tell you anymore... If you truly cared.. I know you would come back.. if you honestly dared...

I am not fully sure what I must do'th for my dear Ma'dam Princess...
But I know the poor thing... Is the Dark Ma'dam of Distress
Just a Story I had in my head for the past couple of days... I hope you like it..

This poem is surrounding the fact on how important it is to reach out to those in darkness, to those who are in need, to those who are in help

No matter how far they have fallen, nor how scary the situation is. If it is something the Lord wants you to do, you need to trust it and run with it. And do whatever is necessary to reach out to those who are lost in darkness... some are afraid, some think it's a waste of time, and some choose to ignore the help others need. The narrator IS YOU. WHAT WOULD YOU DO in a  situation LIKE THIS!? Are you willing to take the risk?

I have considered writing another one, but most likely not. if you want me to, write in the comments below.
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2017
A young prince was born, in a liter of many puppies
He was a triplet of two sisters, but he was a different out of all the babies

The omega was his place, no one ever expected any bravery to be gained
He was afraid even of the smallest frailest creature. Fear was around his neck like a chain

One of his closest triplet, Princess had gone away, for she was a warrior now, strong and proud
While her brother remained on the sidelines, behind the  cheering crowds

The one that never left his side was the second sister, who was an Angel of Fire
A Fighter of beauty and demand. She was the alpha, and she flaunted her desires.

Terrified he was towards the world that seems gigantic and impossible to understand.
His Angel sister was his guardian, she helped him to conquer the land

His hunger grew wild, his  desires flew fast.
He became the strongest one, the bravest pup of the pack

His soul was loyal to his family around him,
He always gave kisses, his love was never trimmed

Until one day, He went out for the first time alone,
He saw the gate opened that led to an empty road!

His burst of joy took over as his father barked in fear and warning
He stopped and turned around, but suddenly, he felt his paws shaking.

His ******* marble eyes looked up, there was no mercy as the car crashed against his skull
His uncle, mother, sister, and father rushed to him, watching his dying body fall

His tail wagged in discomfort as he gave a final kiss
Knowing that his time has finally ended, everyone around him was his bliss.

His whimpering cries slowly came to an end
This was the end of a Prince. The Prince, my old loyal friend.
Prince was a dog I used to train and take care of, he was the least expected to run out into the street. Now my old buddy is gone. R.I.P Buddy.
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
One of the most fragile creatures known on this earth...
It's wings lighter then a single feather of a bird, it's wings are it's prize and worth...

More then a design of beauty, but an artwork purposely fashioned
So delicately it dares to sore with it's enemies in the sky, although it's small and passionate...

It's weak flutter is what gives itself the power to rise.
Small and beautiful, just like most models, but too soon, it dies..

Isn't it filled with complete innocence? Absolutely Not!  
For it stole from the plant that offered it's self as it's home! This was the little Caterpillar's plot!

For the beginning of it's life, it was surround by the world that was large and gigantic!
It took what it's selfish flesh desired, although it wore a disguise that was anything but frantic.

It's small head always looking up for more, but not even the tastiest leaf nor string of grass could satisfy
It was soaked up by the dirt's promise for fulfillment and the  grounds believable lies

If it was wise, it would climb up the rough bark of a tree...
Though it may stumble more then it would on the ground, at the end, it'll soon see that it'll be set free...

The realization of the submission to the wind became it's dream
The acknowledgement of the heavens surrounded it's theme

Slowly locking it'self in a cocoon to suffocate and silencely ****** it's sinful past
It's change of mind and soul transformed itself into a floating mast

The mystery of this transformation no creation can define nor grasp
When it finally rips away it's old flesh, a new beginning has finally clasped

It eye's pop out, now fully unblinded from the distractions of the ground
It's body now weightless, free from it's burdens, it's sky like desires were found

A new creature, a new creation, has used its finished painting as wings to reveal its duty
What it is weak in size and strength, it makes up for in character and beauty

What use to be selfish and rude is now compassionate to nature with every flutter
The stars of the ground of flaring colors share it's sweet drink with it's new friend,  this change of hearts causes it's enemies to shutter

The priceless beauty it contains is more then just an mask, but also
an act for it's enemies!
Willing to sacrifice it's self for it's kind, some will surrender their poison filled bodies, killed helplessly

Determined to distract, Skillfully willing to scare, these little ones will do anything.
Protecting countless eggs, so they too may learn about the freedom through the flap of a wing

Their portrait of many colors signify the mercy of a Flame we deserve
Beautifully created, and light in flight, our eyes able to examine such a jewel is grace that we need to preserve*

There is a flame... do you dare want to experience it?
Do not take the sight of a butterfly so lightly... There is so much more behind that beautiful creation then meets the eye... The creator that created something so heart changing and lovely and delicate but yet daring has also created a place for those who rebel against him... We don't deserve to lay our eyes on his creation... We have broken his commandments we have broken his law we deserve hell

but yet...he is still merciful... to even see the beauty of a butterfly wing...
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
I'm so sick and tired of trying...
                                          Anything I try to accomplish leaves me dying

I hate this frustration... I hate this urge...
                  God, I'm waiting... I'm trying... This feeling I want to  purge

What do you want? What is it I need to do???
        I feel so lost... so far gone on the path I need to be on... I've been removed...

Can you see my trembling hands?... That are too heavy to lift?
               They are chained to the edge... This wasn't what I wished...

My stomach is ******* in knots... My body is ripping apart
Lord...YOU PUT THE SOUND IN THIS BEATING LIVING HEART

I AM SO SHAKE'N I am grasping on to the edge.... and I can't see the bottom
You tell me to let go.... and I stare at you with wide eyes... "What's the problem?"

My hands are being scratched as I try to hold on....bleeding and fading...
"I can't see the bottom... what if I don't survive when I reach it?" My body was shaking...

"I'll be there to catch you..." "Will it hurt? Lord, I'm so scared... Don't let me go.."
"My child... look... and believe.. and trust me... let go.."

I cried out... trembling in fear... so terrified.. wishing to live.
but at the same time... wishing I could die away to escape this pain... let it give...

"Let go...." "God...No...please no..." I begged, in a soft helpless voice...
You kneel down to me, my body slowly slipping away into the challenge of darkness. "Fine... You leave me no choice..."

You cut the chains... and watch me fall...
I found myself screaming... as I curled pathetically into a ball...

I whimpered... as my hair stood on end and entangled its self into a snarled web.
The speed of winds suffocate my nostrils, the free fall of emptiness hugged me "There is no hope..." it said

Am I the name of conflict? Why does it feel like I'm stuck into this eternal free fall of the same emotion?
The color never changes... only the shadows around me seem to be growing darker and closer with every motion...

"Lord... YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!!!! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?!"
I cry as this vertical hole began to enclose and grow thinner... and there's nothing I can do...

Banged... Scrapped... Bruised... Injured... from my body forcefully going down this narrow hole...
Blood blocking my vision... wanting to die just to escape this torment... wanting to take back control...

I'm blacking out... let me see the light again... although all of this hurts... and it feels like it's all getting worse...
it's worth going through... because, Lord... I know you'll catch me... and build me back up...but stronger... through this one Hell of a course...

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                                            PLEASE CATCH ME
         I may not understand... and I may lose a limb or two...
I may want to die... I may not understand... but I won't stop..I trust
                                                       YOU!!
8.24.18
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2019
The "I" in Pride
Should fade and die
For what pride is there?
When I have my flag that I like to hide?

Ripped and torn from rainbow fusions
Mixed up in teenage emotional confusion
There is no "I" when it's a delusion
My past once apart of the movement

Pride will only cause the "I" fall
Into a mind set I thought I would never recall
Stand proud? Why? It's against His Law
This "I" can't stand in pride. I'm kneeling down instead of standing tall
As a Christian I have my own conviction and struggles. To each his own to what they do and choose for their life. God gave us free will. So if this doesn't apply to you then that's okay! But for me... It is a struggle  That annoys my brain... when it is no longer who I am. So now I'm fighting to remember that God has indeed created amazing Godly men.

If you are gay, please know that this is nothing against you. This is not  a hate poem to you. This is just a struggle heart ache poem that I deal with. I believe the bible is truth and what it says is right. but everyone has a choice...
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane
......I can't sleep... nature had won... alright lord.. what do you want  from me?
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2019
The life you want
Is not yours to have

The life you want
You believe would make you more glad

The life you want
You covet and try to steal away

The life you want
Is not yours to claim

The life you want
Is all my life is

THIS IS MY LIFE
BUT YOU WANT ME TO GIVE!

The life you want
Would be two of mine

My life is what you want!
You've crossed the line

The life you want
Prohibits me from being special

The life you want
Will only fire missiles

The life you want
I can not understand

When the life you want
Is everything I am...
I have not comment for this poem


I'm so tired of myself
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2017
Can you recall the poems of last year?
Do you remember your favorite ones? Weren't they dear?

Have you looked up the poetry of the past?
Or are you more interested in poems that have a futuristic cast?

Both are adored, but the future more preferred.
For we desire to read things that have never been seen or heard!

This is not a sin, but even the poetry of the old can be breathtaking!
But they have been simply forgotten! Their existence is breaking

What shall we do? Ignore them? Throw them away?
The poems of the future will become the past anyway!

Shall we allow what is newer to take their place?
Or shall we revive the dead and give them a warm embrace?

Can we bring back what has been lost?
Is it really worth the cost?

Would you want your poems to go out of sight or out of mind?
Have them be lost and hard to find?

Is this really worth the argument? Certainly not!
But it's something to think about.  This could mean a lot

To someone out there...
Many poems are on this website, they have been here for years!
If you wish to take on a challenge, continue to read

Find a poem that is AT LEAST 1 year old or older
that inspires you and provides something that you need to hear
Copy and Paste the Poem and the Name of the person who wrote it in here
And if you wish, explain why you like this "old" poem
Let's help those old poems come back to life!

(Thank you David T. Carratola for your help!!!)
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2017
The Lust of the Flesh
The pleasure's of the body might bring satisfaction for a second or two

Whether it would be drugs, violence, gossip, adultery, there's even  more that we do!

The Lust of the Flesh will look desirable, but they will only bring destruction to you

Lust of the Eyes

This Earth is filled with pleasures for your eye to see

You see something you want, and you covet. You want it more then anything

The things you lust after will be in control. You will be anything but free

Pride of Life

We put ourselves on a throne of pride

Believing we deserve the credit of our Creators design

Wanting to be more important then the people by our side

Conclusion**

The traps and lies of this world will try to lead us astray

But you have a choice, and you may choose your way

Hopefully it is the path of the wise, this is what I pray

Choose carefully, or you might be enslaved
If you want to write a poem about what you believe in the comments below that would be great!! :D

Thanks for Reading!
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
There’re are two paths going opposite ways
People travel these paths every day
The first path leads to a place of tears
people who take this path, reflect death like a mirror
Guilt haunts them when they do wrong
The memory of their sin creates a mournful song
People say you can do whatever you please, they say, “Come over here, join us!”
But a wise person knows down that path, people give into their lust
Most people who follow this path, don’t see the dangers around them, But those who truly believe in Christ can see through the fog
For they are the ones pulled out of the miry bog
                                                            The second path is thin and narrow
It is thinner than a golden arrow
There are very few who find this path
Those of the world look and laugh
This is the path that leads to life
It is full of danger, hardship and strife
There are trials on this path, it won’t be easy
But that gives no excuse, like the rabbit to be lazy
What’s so great about this path is that someone cares for you when you fall
Through the church, He sends out his gospel call  
He is all holy, powerful, and merciful
He is Author of the universe, and Creator of all the people
You must be born again through his holy Son
Who died on the cross – the victory won!
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2017
There she was... In the arms of my sister-in-law
Peaceful and quiet, oblivious to my flaws.
A daughter, a new born, a stranger to this world
Bright, lovely, and beautiful, even when she wiggled and curled.
I froze, I didn't dare to take a step closer to my niece
For her father was my brother, he trusted me the least
I feared him, I thought of him as a king, and I as his slave
My eyes surrender themselves to the ground, my hands folding to behave.
My ears awakened by the small bursting cry of hunger
My eyelids raised to get a quick glimpse of the little light, but every moment got harder.
I tried to ignore the small frail infant, but it's match of fire kept on trying to set flame to my charcoal heart
My brother's hawk eyes dashed to me, tightly swaddling his piece of art.
My shadow colored claws dug into my waist as my pupils refused to obey
My soul was peeling as he got up and insisted that I sat down, he knows I've been lead astray.
I shook my head, the prideful side of me afraid to hold the young one who knew no knowledge
Like a wipe, his finger in a flicker pointed to the seat again. I had a choice, to listen or jump off the edge.
My conscious gave up and was force to yield.
I saw my hands shaking, my wounds now unhealed
I sat in the gray leather chair, my sense devoured in one swallow
I raise my head, my fedora blocking the ceiling lights, my mind forced to follow
The instructions of him "Put your arms out." was his command
I did.... but like the speed of a bullet, my arms shot back, crying was in demand.
I feared him, I feared her, I feared them all. For I was a disgrace, a mockery of the them all.
For I knew I was so unworthy to receive such an opportunity after such a fall.
I shook my head, I could feel every bone trapped under my skin crack and snap with every breath I harshly inhaled.
Did I dare waste a moment like this? Do I wish to refuse this chance to hold something so pure. My selfishness had to bale.
I release my numb and limb arms out into the strange open air
I still had no desire to hold her, but what other opportunity would I have to be fair.
When She was gently set into my arms, I felt a bullet of instant regret, but then things calmed down as her reached out and touched me...
My tears ran down her light, soft, pink finger as she made a faint joyful sound of rest. My soul still didn't believe...
My eyes blinked motionlessly, starring into her darling little face.
I trembled, scared that I would be a failure once again to the young innocent trace.
But her little smile... It had... removed the tar from my beating ticker...
I embraced her closely, crying into her petal like chest that was covered in a blanket, my tears got thicker...
Within seconds, I whispered into her sensitive fragile ear
My wishes.... my dreams.... my pleas.... and my fears...

"Please...please love me... I might have been a failure to them... but please... don't make me a failure of you... help them to trust me again... help them to love me again... I am sorry....so so sorry... please... I know I'm selfish... so prideful... but please... embrace me... forgive me... I swear.... I am trying...I..i a..am....tr...tryi...trying..."

I Love You Lily... Thanks for Everything...
*For through you... The Lord has unblinded me from my bright reality...
For my dear niece who sparked a flame in me...
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
The Pain of Waiting for Someone
is simply
*the waiting
Sad but true
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2019
When your so dumb founded and you can not write
When your mistakes are haunting you at the darkness of night

The regrets you have piled like books on a shelf
Trying to pick up the broke pieces as I deny myself

I can't write anymore.. I cant bring my self to do it
Forgive me God I'm trying to get right through this

But this Cat feels as if she's lost all nine lives
It's been so difficult to get by

I can't write... I've tried.. not without speaking what I wish I could've done
But they say apologizing makes it worse... but that's all I've done!

You dont know how horrible this feels. I am fighting to move on
Abandoning my poetry is the first step. As I am trying to keep calm

Forgetting that poetry exist for now is where I have to start
As I ask God to mend the pieces of this broken heart
Only time will tell if I'll ever return here or not. But for now. This is one of the ways I have to learn to let go for now and trust God with it
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2019
Empty and Full of nothing but dry bones
No senses or feelings left for me to hold

Lifeless and Dead, like the expressions it left me
Every emotion drained like blood. No more breathes left to breathe

It ignores, it is hard, and the dead body is cold
The warmth and love has been stripped away as skin unfolds

But I stay by it still... although it is avoiding the very aspect of living
I know these bones can come alive. Please be forgiving

Laying in broken bony pieces, but yet beautifully organized and created.
Dead inside, but once majestically living and related

Although I have been left behind with the skeleton that remains
I know it can come back to life with the very call of its name

Feelings abandoned, and touches now feeling decayed.
I still have hope... so I will not dig its grave.

You will come back from the dead...
And you will learn to talk... and learn to feel again
I am now left with the Skeleton that remains




Wowwwwww i actually wrote something decent... gees it's late I need to go to bed gosh... also... I'm back yayyyy.. we will see when the next poem comes...

This poem is based on a skeleton dragon someone bought for me XD
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...
.....sorry it took a while... Part 3 should be out soon if you guys still want it.... again sorry about that...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
T - Thank you...
H - Hello...
I - I love you...
N - Nothings Wrong...
G - Good Advice...
S - So Sorry...

We all have a list... this is just mine... so what is your list of "THINGS" you wish you could say...? but don't have the time or the courage to say?...
I have this list on me... to remind my self to never be afraid to say these things when I have the chance to... because little do I know how God can use it to bless and encourage a brother and sister in Christ... or to soften a heart of those who are lost and hurting.

Thank You - Let me show my deep-hearted gratitude of all the things you say and do that touches my soul

Hello - Let me show you that I have taken notice you... and I want to focus on you and who you are and what you're going through. Let me greet you with a smile to try to make your day brighter

I love you - Let me release these emotions to show how much I truly care, that you have invaded my thoughts, my prayers, and my concerns. Let me confess what you are to me.

Nothings Wrong - Let me hide away my troubles... so I don't become a burden... or let me be honest and believe in my words that everything is indeed fine... I'm not trying to lie!!

Good Advice - Let me try to help, allow me to counsel you during this time. Let me please be a blessing... Let me provide wisdom. Let me help guide you. I care too much to see you walk away

So Sorry -  Let you show the deep regret I feel deep down, the regret that tears me in half. Accept my many apologies... knowing that I mean them.. they are more than just words... I realize my mistakes and failures...
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
There he is, my little baby boy, his fluffy ginger fur spiked out in all directions.

His eyes, like coco powder surrounding a drop of pure vanilla. They are so big and heart catching I have to mention.

His spiraled tail laid over his back and spread out like a fire work. Curly and a sandy color, it stands out against his Gingerbread coat.

His tiny, dainty, quick moving paws always in a scurry as he races to his little window, barking in a  high pitch squeal, his spirit always in a float.

His fur flows in a fluffy rustle when he stands outside to strut his pride, his little mocha mountain peaks alert and doesn't miss a single action.

He walks like the world revolves around him, he runs for nothing but his own fancy desires, He flaunts his cute looks, with the sway of his tail and barks at other dogs just to get a good reaction.

His white furred lips speak of whimpers and pleads to me whenever I'm down,  He lays over my arms when I type, sick of not being the center of attention.

He allows his two back legs to fly behind him when he kicks in demand. He bangs his two front paws to the ground when he's frustration for not getting his way. There's too much tension.

I can't help but to laugh at the pathetic adorable soul! Thinking he can live his spoiled "perfect" worry-free life forever.

But even the greatest break, people wear a mask, and so do dogs! He pretends he doesn't need any body. He think's he's so clever!

Behind that perfectly circular face of fluff and eye seeking attention, is a heart of fear... There is no drop of bravery within him...

As his mother, as his human, as his owner I feel his fear, for we both fear the same thing... The higher authority, our changes to them are dim...

When he is around them, his tail hangs low to hide it's spark, his shiny wondering eyes look down in shame of his small size and courage.

His mountain peeks collide in an avalanche. They lay back and hide their mighty heights. His hopefulness for joy could not flourish...

His eyes water up like a river from a down pour... have you ever seen tears pour from a dogs eyes at a constant rate? I have...

His pride as an Alpha was only an act, his true identity is all omega, his mind and heart have been split into halves...

He's high pitch but low noted howl does not ring when he is in the state of depression as omega. He instead taps his two little light paws against my chair as I sit...

I look down and sadly sometimes I ignore him. My mind already in a struggle. But the little one is wise as well. He'll kick his back legs and howl to catch my attention and throw a fit!

He knows I need his little fluffy sweet comfort, and he needs my warm embrace and my soft lap.

The only time he always look so content and happy is when I hold the little dear and he purposely falls backwards so I may hold him like a baby, an opportunity I have to grab

He has a big smile on his soft furry face, his eyes pleasantly closing, his body pliable and limb.

You would think he was fake by the peaceful contentment on his face, his little black paws up in the air, so many adore him

Only because of his physical appearance, not because of the longing to change sweet hearted Pomeranian from within

When I set him down, the peace instantly breaks, his happiness is shattered, his nose sniffing up at me in disbelief, he needs thicker skin.

Munchkin... you had two owners before us, the first one threw you out of the car in front of a pet store...

The other locked you up in your cage for too many helpless countless hours... you remember this for sure.

The Lord is merciful... for we have came to the rescue, your soul is now being built back up... we promise we won't abandon you. I won't abandon you...

If only you knew how the Lord has used you in my life... The blessing you have been. This owner ship refuses to move.

You are my sweet Pomeranian Munchkin... and I am your owner
Have No Fear Little Fluff.. Have No Fear  

*I love you <3
Thank you Lord for using Munchkin to teach me to control my anger, to train me for the future, for being such a loving comfort, for the bond me and my little boy share, and for using him to open my eyes more to your mercy's and abundant grace.  I know I don't deserve anything  at all. Praise You Lord.
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
There is no rain to bring relief to our sweating bodies...
only the reign of arrows... and their offering of stabbing pain

There are no stars to put on a display of dances and twinkles...
only the rotating show of the thrown daggers

There is not a river to reflect the beauty of life...
Only the blade of the sword... that reflects my possible death

There are no clouds in the sky to soften my spirit
only the low cumulus smoke of gunpowder and ash

There is no sun to shed its bright flame upon us
On the flickers and flashes of light of ignited bullets

There is no difference between night and day... they are the same...
Only the difference is who the enemy is.. and who is the Savior...

The grass no longer grows full and abundant in luxurious green
It is constantly trampled and stepped on... leaving it withered and tan...

There is no snow...no soft white snowflakes to give us a cold kiss
Only the bites of thrown, bitter, cold shattered pieces of glass

There are no vast variety of colors to adore... only two hues
Light and Darkness... So we can tell who is for us... and who is against us

    *

The weather... and landscape wasn't always this way...
It wasn't the Lord's intentions to have such a horrific display...

What? What did you ask? What is it like on the battlefield?
Well...sit down dear child... and I will tell you...
Another Poem Relating to this will come soon... Thanks for Reading <3
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
Look into my eyes...
I promise you this adorableness is a disguise

Look at me...
I'm small, thin, fragile, and weary

You could call it fur, what surrounds my face...
A brown thin curtain covers me, a soft lace

My eyes will fool you
A cat with two different colored jewels, this trait goes to few

Yes... I have many traits
That makes you think of me as a kitten... but just wait

But you must be warned
I may look like an easy catch to hold and cuddle, but many skins have been torn.

You may only see cute soft gentle paws
But remember... This Kitten Has Claws...
An adorable kitten sneeze will trick your minds
Into thinking there is nothing strong nor hard inside

A comforting purr may sweep you off your feet
But I will speak through the cursing of a hiss, my fangs have a fleet

I thirst to fight, to take on the battle with other warriors by my side
I refuse to simply let the wind sway my whiskers and tail away from this tense tide

My Commander... Tell me to take my place... I'll use my weapons for you...
My fangs to speak your truth, my claws to protect those who can't. I wish to do more...more for you...

Cat Lynn ///
Sunday, 2/18/18
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2019
Although I am always cold
Maybe I have burdened my self...
With too much linen to wear and carry?
Although it brings my warmth, it is slowly suffocating me...
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
You are always there... Even when I don't want you to be

Walking either right next to me... or behind me

You know when I'm alone... and need a loving embrace

You knock on my door... demand that I open it... so I can look into your baby face

I have tried rejected the love that you offer, I have tried ignored your company

But you always found a way to make me accept and deal with it...and all so suddenly

When I am in tears or in the midst of abuse...you run and sit beside me

A partner... A friend that sticks closer then a brother... I know you will never abandon or leave..

Your eyes speak words that I know you could never speak..

and you stare at me so heavily, especially when you see me walk away and leave...

Are you bothered that you can't come along?

I can't help but want to turn around.. since this feeling of separation feels so wrong

I have corrected, forgiven, and rebuked you several times... I'd thought you hate me for those times...

But you only grow closer... and become all the more attached to me... which is more then fine

When I sit alone, and try to ignore the atmosphere I live in

You come walking up to me, sometimes bearing gifts or something to share, making me give in

But you always make sure your emotions are clear and made known

I know most of what you go through... I see you so much... how can it be ignored or thrown?

Feeling so locked up and caged? Several stair cases under?

Sometimes you come to me for guidance and comfort.. but I don't know the mind of a boy... but I do wonder...

I'm still here... I miss you so much sometimes whenever  I'm away

But I have that glorious image... of you running to me with such a big happy smile. Don't delay!!

Greet me with a kiss on the cheek, or sometimes on the hand

Your such a little fella... but you think of your self to be a proud man

But oh... the boy I love... the boy DOG I love...

The best friend that I need and don't deserve...you came from above

You mean so much to me... I love you my slobbery, fluffy, Pomeranian MUNCHKIN!!!!!!!





What?... Did you think I was talking about a real boy?
...Soooooo... How many of you did I fool? XD HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
NO REGRETS!!!!!
Seriously XD I want to know how many of you I fooled into think I was talking about an actually boy lol

Don't get me, wrong, it would be a great poem for a lover but i wrote it for my close companion... Munchkin, a Blessing from the Lord

Dog's always have that tendency to leave a paw print on your heart don't they? ;)
ClawedBeauty101 May 2019
Trying to do it right
Don't let the anger ignite

Trying not to set it off
Avoid it, I know it's my fault!

Can you back away?
Before I blow it into the fade?

Because I swear I'm trying
To stop this anger from striking like lightning



Trying to do it right!!! Alright?
Without picking up the knife tonight!

I can't KB, I'm tempted, I'm crazy
It is a bomb, ready to burst... I don't want it to hurt

Trying to do it right!!! Him in Sight!
My emotions have turned into explosions in the sky

Try... Trying to do it right...



Trying to do it right...It's what I have to do
Trying hard to put out this flaring fuse

Trying to blow it out
Before it burns this temple down

Can you keep the gasoline?
Many galaxies away from me?

Don't wanna light it up in flames
And have it break down the love that Christ gave...



Trying to do it right!!! Alright?
Without picking up the knife tonight!

I can't KB, I'm tempted, I'm crazy
It is a bomb, ready to burst... I don't want it to hurt

Trying to do it right!!! Him in Sight!
My emotions have turned into explosions in the sky

Try... Trying to do it right...



Sometimes I fail and I blend in with the ash
Beauty from the ashes is the catch
It takes time to refine a jewel
So don't take me for a fool...
I'm trying to do it right alright? ALRIGHT!
Reforming to be a weapon to FIGHT!



Trying to do it right!!! Alright?
Without picking up the knife tonight!

I can't KB, I'm tempted, I'm crazy
It is a bomb, ready to burst... I don't want it to hurt

Trying to do it right!!! Him in Sight!
My emotions have turned into explosions in the sky

Try... Trying to do it right...
I am fighting...
It'll just take time... remember that...
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
T* wo
W eeks
E arly...
,
N ot
T he
Y oungest...
,
F orever
O btaining
R adiant
T wo
H ues

O nly
F or

F ew
E yes...
,
B right
R ivalries
U nite...
,
A new
R elative's
Y earling...


                          *Hello Again, My Reminder Of my Birth

                                                     *2-24-00
(I don't know why the strong thing is up there it's suppose to be **T**.. of well XP
...okay not the best poem...but it was something different I wanted to try?

Okay for those who didn't understand it, but something that has been passed down in my family are two different colored eyes, they aren't that noticeable like they USE to be when I was a baby but if you stared into my eyes, and looked around the edges... you can see how different they really are. My uncle on my mom's side had them, and before him my grandfathers brother had it. It's been passed down for generations. And that was the first thing they noticed with me when I was little. I was forced to be born 2 weeks early, so I was a pretty small baby XD. but.. yeah... although i wish they were more noticeable... idk it's always something I've been proud to have... I am the second youngest of my family,  although i was SUPPOSE to be the youngest. ....but yeah..

The Yearling Part is weird I know, but a yearly refers to an animal of new birth, Since I am called "Cat" and so was my uncle, some say I am his "yearling" if you will.... yeah it's weird... idk XD

Idk it's a strange Birthday Poem I wanted to try I didn't know else what to write or even how to write it XD forgive me if it's terrible

Thank You Lord <3

Cat Lynn ///
2-24-2000
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I can't seem to relive it again

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt like I just woke up. Give me a hand to lend.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I have never felt every cell in my body shake like it would burst from existence

Was Yesterday A Dream?*

Because I can still hear My Lord's voice talking to me in the distance

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I kept on looking up to Heaven and asked "Why?"

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because for a split second, I believed I could fly

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because my eyes could not look away, they were out of my control

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt my Heart and Life began to unfold

Was Yesterday a Dream?

Because a Trio of disbelief slammed me into a pool of reality.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 1 returned home in the land of fantasy

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 2 settled the questions of emotions in the mind

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 3 surrendered everything to the Lord with all his life

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I feel like my body was just released from a shot wave of sleep.

WAS YESTERDAY A DREAM!?!?

Because what I experienced, what I saw, what I heard, I still can't believe

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No... No it was not, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was not a dream...

Only Unrealistic mind blowing events that I least expected to happen it seems...

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No.. Gosh... I need a recovery of sleep... My mind is runned down,, My Heart is in an ache, and My Soul is in a stir

Good Night Everyone...
Dear Lord.... Grant me wisdom for the Trio of events, for these three things I did not expect to occur...

November 14 - 16, 2017.
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
I'm

M ourning
I n
S erious
S orrow

for you...


...That's what it means to me at least...

What does it mean to you?... Or does it even mean anything to you?
Idk, this was kinda random, I was just kinda thinking of it walking down the hallway of my church one night...
ClawedBeauty101 May 2019
You obviously had no time to give
Priceless
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
When they see a Monster

I see a Demon,


When I see a Demon

You see an Angel


When they tell me I'm worthless

I tell myself I am nothing,


When I tell myself I am nothing

You tell me I'm everything
and that I'm worth it.
<3
Thank you, God for Your Truth and Blessing of people <3
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
You don't know what thoughts you run through my mind
You don't know what trash you'll soon discover and find

You don't know what my words behind the screen really mean
You don't know what parts of my life are filthy, and what parts are clean

You don't know or see the emotions you've caused to ask why
You don't know what you've said that has caused me to cry

You don't know what messages and signals you show
You don't know how much confusion you throw

You don't know what I want to shout and scream
You don't know what nights seem to be a dream

You don't know what hurts
You don't know what scorches and burns

You don't know what lies behind these eyes
You don't know what causes a heart to die...

You don't know... or don't want to understand...
and honestly... who in their right mind would... even take my hand

They would have to be able to see... and not be so blind...
To see this monster... and yet... still want me... and love me...
...come soon.... i'm so sick of all this stupid waiting...
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
...I couldn't help but to stare blankly at your white, emotionless face...

The last time I saw you... You had a light full of joy and grace...

But to see that light now gone from you body left a taste of melancholy

A hood of sorrows is what hid my bitter sweet tears from them and you, what folly...

Before my aching heart could leave your presence, your eyes opened...

Your heart startled by a hug, your eyes gazed around at all of us, an opportunity, I was hope'n

You stared straight into my black stained waterfall and spooked me

When your pale, cold hand, with quickness, grabbed my hand.. and begged me not to leave..

It shook... I could feel and count every bone you used... with the little muscle strength you had...

My body trembled at your white, thin, Skeleton hand... Stabbed by the reality of loss...the insecurity was bad..

I felt so troubled and helpless... Since there was nothing from me you could gain...

"Alan...Linard...." was the last thing I heard, the last thing she said... it was her husband's name...

6 days later... 9:15pm, July 2nd, 2018...for the first time... I watched Some breath their last... and finally die...

Puzzled by how quick and peaceful a painful image thing can be.... It felt so deceitfully wrong... but I knew it was..right..

Donna... You wouldn't come back... even if you could.. you wouldn't

You in a place of paradise... pure perfection... I wont lie... I miss you.. but I know you could never return... you couldn't..
..I hate writing stuff like this.

Lord.. Thank you for finally taking her home..

Donna, you always said to me "Age Doesn't Matter" for a variety  of things I told you about... I want to always thank you for constantly telling me that...and for praying for me, and for teaching me what it means to be a prayer warrior...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
It's is your security that will pay the toll...

Your confidence will be forced to pay its loan...
And it will be left with a heart of stone...

Any object of hope will be forced to be sold...
and your soul will be left bankrupt and cold...

Fear will make your emotions pay a price...
....so what are you gonna do? Pay?... or fight?
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
I am awake... Dont think I'm sleeping in peace

How can I when the silence is devouring my ears like a feast

I cant scream back at it... I can't slam it again my wall

I'm shaking... I'm trying to fight it as it yells out my flaws

I no longer welcome the night...  it is no longer a time to rest

But moment to cruel up to avoid falling to temptations pest

I was doing pretty good.... but I guess time has begun its torment

I cant talk to anyone... I've been left in phsysical isolation

I have been fighting, dont think I haven't

The battle has been going on for far too long... I hope it wouldn't

I've blocked as many lies as I could...

I've slayed many doubts like I said I would

But now I've been slaughtered in a weak spot in my armor

And now I'm down... bleeding... starring face to face with deaths color

So now I'm ready to take my last breath and welcome the silence's abuse

So tell them that I love them and good bye for me... because this princess has to loose

Because in order to end silence's rule... it has to think it has won

So welcome the image of a ****** beaten body, for it's just a weak shell... Guilt is no living fun...
I swear... I will come back stronger someday... and I will scream so loudly in Silence's stupid face...
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Down in the ground, your silver body lays
You were buried, with another person on that day

Both of you are unsaved
So now your abandoned in this muddy ***** grave

You men seek for answers, you seek fullfillment
For you only have half your heart, what an empty torment

Where did the other half go? We may never know
Who has it? The Questions seem to grow

You are not in a grave yard, but within the woods of one
You should be counted as dead, and your memories done

But there is no grave stone, so there maybe hope
Maybe your time in the ground is a scope

An opportunity to learn, to believe, and to repent of past sins
For those who have ears let him ear! For the change first starts from within.

Your darkened eyes, look to find hope and relief in others
But only the drowning down pour of depression is you cover

Your shadows of hair hang over your faces, your eyes to the cold moist dirt
Deep down under, your gray chains get tangled to share each others hurt.

The only company you have is each other, along with the fallen sin trees and young future saplings
Learn from nature dear men, for the love of the roots of the tree's  to the dirt is forever grappling.

Your charm of words remain in the containment of a plastic force
The force field refuses to open for you until you end your sinful course.

I have tried to dig you two up myself, but you were down too deep.
No power on earth could unburry you two, the possibilities seem too steep

Only the Super Natural forces of God could do that
But When? WHEN will you be unburied?

I'm sorry... I'm am one impatient Cat...

*Every now and then We can feel your clasping hands reach for the empty red bench... hoping to get out of this grave.... and sit with us again....
Thankfully, one has been unburied recently, now, only by the Lord's will and grace, the other shall be too. I won't stop hoping and praying  for the lost one to finally return.
(Thank you David T for Checking this for me!)
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2019
I never said was going to be easy to become...
Nor did I say it would be a pretty process
Lord i am trying... i cant look anywhere else... i cant depend on anyone else... you have to be my focus... i dont care what it takes... Do whatever it takes for me to be more like you
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
"Who would?..."

I turned towards them in question, misunderstood

"Exuse me?" Who would what?"

It was Easter Sunday, the beginning of a cut

"Who would ever love you?"

"Who would want you? Very few"

I wanted to fight back, but my request was ignored

"Honestly, to think someone would fight for you without a reward?"

"Who would give up their time to face your burdens?"

They're mission to destroy was more then certain

"Who would seriously sacrifice themselves for a shadow?"

"Who would burn up their own lives to save you from Hells flaring meadows?"

"Answer me!!! And look at you!!!"

"Look at your disturbing sins and wretched words! You know it's true!"

"Are you mute?! Have nothing to say??"

"Come on answer!!! You black cat, who hides in the brightness of day!!!"

"Who could... Who would... even dare to lend a hand?"

"And give the price of their own body and blood?... No man.."

I starred, anger under my breath, my vision becoming watery and unclear

What was my response? You really want to know?... Then wait then til tomorrow, a new poem will be here
Feel free to write a response about what you'd say or think or whatever

Cat Lynn ///
4/1/18
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
I slash my eyes into your version and allowed my dress to sway

A sly grin on my "innocent" face, you thought my lips couldn't pay

"Who would? Be honest, Who ever could?"

"That is the question... Who could ever love me? Some just believe they should"

"But just because they believe they SHOULD doesn't mean they can or COULD... Understand?"

"Only someone with unconditional forgiving love could. Godly love is rare in this land"

"Who could want? Someone with a forgiving, merciful, kind soul. Yes very few."

"But those very few are one of the biggest blessing I needed. Our Savior knew."

"And I know because of Christ, we'd fight for one another. My Savior would fight for me"

"A worthless, rebellious, burning, wicked, soul torn. disturbing, confused flea"

"A sinner, a shadow, who only hides to prepare the perfect timing to fight back"

"Fight back with love, kindness, mercy, and wisdom, This world's system I will hack"

"He sacrificed himself for a shadow, He gave up his life to save me from Hell's flaming bed sheets

"I'M ANSWERING!!! I AM LOOKING AT ME!!! I HAVE BEEN FOR WEEKS!!!"

"I KNOW  HOW DISTURBING  MY SINS ARE AND HOW WRETCHED MY WORDS CAN BE!!!

"BUT THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE!!! I HAVE PLENTY TO SAY!! MY VOICE ISN'T WEAK!!!"

"Yes... I may be like a Cat, but this wild cat is still being tamed!!!

"Jesus lended his hand, He lended his hand to be nail to the cross, a cross of shame..."

"His body was the payment, his blood was the price, his perfection and holy life was the cost."

I felt my heart grow hot as I seen their mind was far from lost

Like dust they disappeared with the wind and I looked back into the mirror of myself

It's funny how we can lie and deceive ourselves... and put the truth on the shelf.

The dear Lord knows I struggle with a double thinking mind

I know the Lie and I know the Truth, as long as I seek him, solutions and peace I know I'll find
Who would?... Jesus Christ
Along with the Brothers and Sisters in Christ that He provides

Cat Lynn ///
4-1-18
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2019
Look! There it goes!
A thought inside my mind

It wasn't something I was looking for
Not something I would find

"I thought I buried you!
Down in the grave!" LIES!

In a deep sleep it was spelled.
It never really died

When it awakens, it wakes me up with it
Like a cancer, it grows rapidly in my brain

Like a file, or an email, a memory can be deleted, but also recovered. I hate this mind game.

I hate it how you force my mind to stay awake
I HATE YOU FOR WRESTLING WITH THE CRIES INSIDE

YOU DO THIS TO DRAG MY SOUL TO THE PAST
YOU DO IT TO ENSLAVE ME! DO NOT DENY!

STOP MESSING WITH MY HOURS!
STOP MESSING WITH MY REST!!!

I KNOW THE MESS AND THE DAMAGE I HAVE INDEED CAUSED!
I BLAME NO ONE ELSE BUT THIS MESS!!!

Like a living nightmare, you haunt and torture this poor tired heart
You want to see my shattered... but it's amazing to say

I have great beloved friends who know this pain..
And will not abandon me nor lead my astray

Yes... you keep me up at night... and try to **** my thoughts
But the day will come! I will see the light

It will not last for much longer and that is a fact
I do not suffer this journey alone, together, we will all be alright
I love you guys so much <3 You guys have no clue how much that meant to me <3
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
Negative + Negative  =  A Greater Negative Outcome
Positive + Positive = A Greater Positive Outcome

And then we know...
A lesser negative + a greater positive = an in-between-the-two positive
A lesser positive + a greater negative =  an in-between-the-two negative

and a Positive * a Positive = a MUCH greater positive

but... explain how the flipp'n heck this is possible...

Negative * Negative = Positive...
When will a negative, times a negative, equal a positive in this lifetime... when will a positive solution be revealed...
I hate math...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
This Morning... Dripping in a bleeding shadow's clothing
I lost a sense of existence as my gloved covered hands tampered with my phone... time wasting

Leaning against my black, silver chained designed backpack, pressed against a wall
I waited for my professor to come and welcome us in... I was freezing from the cold shoulder of fall

With my classmates quietly surrounding around me... Two sweaty Janitors came walking through
Ignoring their presence, my fingers only continued to twiddle again the screen,  "someone is staring at you."

My conscious warned. Frozen, behind my bangs, I cautiously move my pupils up
To catch the left behind Janitor's eyes on me... no one daring to interrupt  

His eyes started at my high heel boots, and slowly went up... studying every part of my temple
Trembling, my eyes looked away... pretending I didn't notice such a failing gentlemen example

"Hello?" He said... However, I  pretended that I did not his voice
"Hey... Good Morning!" he declared... as if to rejoice.

Very slightly, my eyes purposely hiding, I raised my head to show I have taken notice
"Good Morning," I spoke plainly, to brush him off, but he continued to admire me as if I was HIS Lotus.

" Hey, I can't see your eyes." Anger began to boil... So what?
I wanted my curtain of golden-brown hair to hide these jewels that haven't been cut.  

I moved them aside for a split second, to tease this fool..wanted to break his stem
and to reveal a hint of a cursed anger that lied within these gems

"I know" to show that they are hidden with purpose, he reminded me of a ****
But stubborn this man was, he bent down, trying to steal a glimpse

"Come on let me see your face!" He cried like a child
Trying to make thingy spicy, but it was truly nothing more than mild

He took one step closer, his face trying to satisfy those eyes that desired dark beauty
If looks could ****, he would already be dead and skinned down to the ****** bone... I'm not your cutie

One step back was the action I took as he saw what pleased him...A beautiful cat
"Now, Why should you hide such a face like that?"

He said with a smirk, trying to sound as if he was the prince for me
Not even my gloves could keep my hands warm after my heart began to freeze

Anger boiled over... knowing he wasn't saying it to be modest or kind
Snapping my backbone in half. feeling like an object... my possession was defined.

"Why shouldn't I?" I spoke with seriousness as dead as the bodies in the grave
The silence was so loud, it deafened everyone around me. My tears swell up with rage

"Tooshay" He said as he chuckled and walked away...
What a coward to give up his argument and fight... but thank God he didn't stay

...He didn't even have a defense to give... it goes to show what he was after
He didn't even try to convince me... His heart was in the wrong place... what a disaster

...I am so disappointed in men... You only see me as an object of abusive pleasure
You think you can have your fun and flirt away... Your foolishness can't be measured

WHY SHOULD I HIDE MY FACE?
LET ME ASK YOU WHY SHOULDN'T I?  His time was a waste...

I went to my first class... trembling in disgust...
I'll just continue to hide my face away from all of you... it obvious you men don't know what is true... pure.. or just...

I'm sorry for making such a fuss...

But Seriously...

Why Shouldn't I Hide Such a Face Like This?


                                                 10/15/2018
... Welcome to College Everyone... Watch Out for people like this... Avoid them at all cost... if they only foucs on the outside... they will only treat you like an object....

ARE YOU AN OBJECT OR A PERSON!?!  NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!!!

...yeah it's something small... but still
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
Only fools and dead men don't change their minds.
Fools won't...
and dead men can't...
I had Chinese tonight... open up a fortune cookie... and this is what it said... pretty true right???
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
In the Mirror I see I'm stained
Draped in an ink cell, shelled in pain

Bent over with soaking black tears
Why must I live in this cloak of fear

Hunched over frozen in a case of black ice
Slipping and sliding over the constant fights

Trapped in a fishnet of lies
Choked by the chokers of cries

Hidden behind a curtain of bangs
Constantly licking my bloodthirsty fangs

Watching from afar cloaked in shadows
My ears cuffed and pierced, arrested, abused, and exposed

Eyes painted in Abyss' rain
Wrist spiked with black frames

I am a walking talking, cold night
Physically Freezing, and drenched in blackness' fright

Now hand me your blade, and let me begin
To slice the tar that is sticking to this light within

The thick, inky muck that shells and suffocates
Is a monster that feels controlled and constrained

You don't want me to shine, you don't want to see me bright
You enjoy seeing this jewel locked up tight

Won't I be broken free from the rock?
Afraid my colors will attract too many thoughts?

Let this angel rip her wings out from underneath your rule
Let my eyes finally look up, I won't be fooled

I am disgusted with this gothic disguise
I'm breaking through, going into the light
And There is NO WAY you're going to stop making it shine...
Just let me out...
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
If I allowed my hand to get acquainted with a calm blade
and allow them to work together to have my grave made.

It would be so much easier

If I gathered all my possessions and left the challenges and callings
and ran away from all my troubles and problems that won't stop falling

It would be so much easier

If I took a bullet to these warm feather breezed feelings that stir up the winds
and forced unwanted emotions to take command, and avoid the punishment of being mentally skinned

It would be so much easier

If I gave up my fight... and simply lose the battle of my individuality
And accept their Labels of Lies and give them the right to make me wear a mask that is beautiful but beastly.

It would be so much easier

If I accepted my fate in depression and abuse and allow it infest inside of me
and be as dark and gruesome as I've always been tempted to be

It would be so much easier

If I chose to ****** all the things I've worked hard for
By throwing them over the wall of rejection... and watch it shatter onto the deep floor

It would be so much easier

If I ignored all the beloved people who surround me and would do anything
And focused devouring myself back into the past until I'm nothing more then bone and ****** strings

It would be so much easier

But Just Because It's Easier...
It Doesn't Mean It's Right...
I won't lie, there are so many temptations out there that can cause me to drift away from the will of God. There are so many things that would be so much easier to do.... but just because it's easier it doesn't mean it's right... Sometimes we need those struggles and challenges to make us stronger, to make us better. These temptations are so addicting I'm sure to many of us. An easy path can lea you to a path of destruction and misery

May God Continue to Guard my Heart and Direct my path on the path of Life, Light, and Wisdom...

Cat Lynn ///
3/24/18 - Progressive Dinner
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
A stranger came up to me and said to my face
"I just want to say that you're pretty." My emotions, he tried to persuade

Is that all you got? Is that all you see?
An image that is pleasing and beautiful to your eyes? Is that me?

An object to complement, admire, and then leave behind?
You didn't ask how I am, if I'm okay, or say anything to comfort my mind

I can't stand men...
Because to most of them

I am a shadow of a statue they wish to see
But will never get... I was not created to appease

1/28/19
...Don't get me wrong, it was a sweet compliment, but I would much rather receive it from someone who is of the Lord and means every bit of what he says because he doesn't see an image or an object. BUT A PERSON WHO THEY WILL LOVE AND CHERISH FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT I DO
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2018
Then read my poetry!!!.....

*because it will tell you more about me than I could ever tell you face to face...
Who we are when we are alone, is Who We Are

... A bit of a draft poem...worth nothing really..

— The End —