The wind blows a sweet melody against the silver tubes that sound like the birds singing at the start of spring. They also sound like your voice, as sweet as syrup that flow smoothly from your lips like the rain dripping of those beautiful wind chimes. But your voice leaks a venom so poisonous that it can **** anyone who falls for its sweetness unlike the wind chimes in my backyard. Your melody is laced with lies like the song of sirens that lures people to their death. Your silver lining fools everyone into thinking that you're an angel when you're really just the same as a fallen one, doing no good except tricking everyone who trusts you. No one knows your true form, but I have seen your lies and tricks and am no longer fooled by your melody and can look past all the deceit. You don't deserve to be compared to the beauty of wind chimes but you already know that I can't help but make everything poetic. I'm a poet, I like to make everything poetic, and I guess I find you in everything, I can't help it. You see, I've been fighting to get out while going nowhere, you've been fighting to get in, but I haven't even given you the keys to my heart, maybe in this case I'm too old, and you're too young to deal with a girl with this much woman, with this much stress on my shoulders, there's only one seatbelt in my car, and when you figure out who I really am, when I'm not one of those beautiful wind chimes tinkling in your Mother's flower bed, we'll be hell-bent on crashing. You see, I don't speak to you in wind chime, maybe more so stagnant water. I'm probably eventually going to fall in love with you though, and part of me is going to die, but most of me is going to come alive, chaos... I can't stop thinking about your blue eyes, and how they drown me, they are simply two milky hurricanes, and I can't wait to get my house demolished by a storm with your name title... And that storm will make those little wind chimes ring and sing until they got torn off their post from the heavy winds and destructive force, just like how my heart will be ripped to shreds when you run in and our of it. So maybe I don't give out the key to my heart because I don't want it to be robbed or destroyed by someone who won't remember my name a month after I leave. You can never see the real me because then you'll flee and run as far as you can rather than staying to love me as I am. So maybe you'll go looking for someone else with poison in their voice who won't have all the problems I have, and whose heart isn't even locked. But that's just looking for trouble and I learned that trouble is never good and people never stay for long so when I don't want to get attached to you, you know why. Maybe if I was younger I would give away the key right away and invite trouble in but I've made that mistake far too often and I'm just learning now; that if you play with wind chimes, eventually you get stuck in the middle and those little things can hurt and leave bruises wherever they touch. I wonder a lot, so tell me, are you going to twirl me around in your arms or in your head?¿ are you going to kiss me on a backdrop of stars?¿ and make me exhale the solar system?¿ are you going to leave me your stardust to remember you by?¿ I guess I've died waiting for you, and when I say die I mean death reached out his hand for me to take and took me on a journey, he showed me what life would be like without you, so I guess I need you, I need you more than I put out... Is this loving you making me petty and dull?¿ and jealous of your bedsheets because they caress you when you're cold at night, and not my arms?¿ I promised not to get attached, but what happened?¿ I'm going to let you tear me apart like a pack of hungry wolves looking for meat on a long, cold winters night, I'm going to let you dig into my ******, juicy heart, and if you break my heart than I'll be honored to have it broken by you... I'm hoping my seashell wind chimes hanging in a spider-like branch of my old pine sound like Sunday church bells, or a welcoming to a funeral, or a welcoming to the wedding of the space between our fingers finally being filled... Or maybe my wind chimes will sound like home, the sound you hear on every windy day that reminds you everything will be okay... But maybe it will remind you of what you never wish to know again, maybe it will remind you of your first heart break and we all know how terrible that is, it will remind you how a tornado flew through your heart and ripped it to shreds even though you tried so hard to keep it out. But no amount of protection works against keeping your heart from loving and getting hurt because, lets face it, in the war between your heart and your brain, your heart will always win leaving your brain thinking of the consequences in the aftermath when the only thing it can do is nothing so you just sit on your couch listening to the wind chimes that bring so many memories.

I wrote a poem for my biography to a special person about Adam, I thought you would like to read it.

Blue Heart

You were 18, so many years in front of you.
It felt like a dark eternity, you didn’t want to go.
I saw it in your sunken eyes.
The vacant stare and sad dark eyes.
I saw when you were sitting around the table prom night.
So much going around but you were too calm
too collected.
too inside your mind for us.
I knew that blank expression from experience
All too well.
You screamed for help
silent and loud
I reached for your hand
but you
f
e
  l
   l



You were poised and calm
Broken but full of love.
All I wanted to do was help you.
you were standing still when the world went on
and it did go on, it did, without you.

When you were standing there at the edge
I wondered about you, all in my head.
We were short lived, a friendship that was fast.
You came, changed me, then you left.
it came and went in a flash.

I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not cross with you.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no


Your color was blue
Blue heart, blue veins
Blue is the color of our planet
from far far away
we wore it proud it was all for you,
a blue solemn silence.
and the world spun fast and
all the people hurried fast, real fast
and no one ever smiled.

You weren’t all there, in that head of yours.
dark and empty
you were sad but you lived like you would die
tomorrow
tomorrow came too soon and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.

Meeting you was bitter
you put me through stress, anxiety and heartache
you put me through shame and shock
All I wanted was you by my side,
and you there was not.

Meeting you was sweet
you gave me smiles and laughs,
good music and thoughts
you gave me a feeling of friendship and care.
All I wanted was you by my side,
but you were not there.

You were poised and calm,
you rubbed off on me.
I was hyped and excited
you called me “ADHD”


You drove an old red beater with water bottles everywhere,
with **** in the glove compartment.
but you didn’t care.
Your drove with sunglasses and the FM radio loud.
You drove in silence, thinking no doubt.


You loved the sun but you would hike for the shade
when we were together you took me away.
I didn’t think, I didn’t have nerves.
We talked about the world
We talked about life
You had a life you thought you didn’t deserve.

Whoever planted that seed
had some **** nerve
you wrote like me but I wrote for myself
you wrote for us when there’d be nothing else.

I knew when no one else could guess.
you put it all on me, didn’t you.
but I was not mad.
Heartbroken, yes
scared, yes
alone, yes
mad, no


When you were gone
I read
and
I read
i wanted to know exactly when
you felt what you felt.
You called me your jav friend
you called me your angel

You are up there watching over me
I yelled and screamed
I couldn’t breathe.

I shut them out,
I cursed at you.
I hated you
I cried for you


I only see you in my head
Dreaming once and a while of your smile,
of your eyes
but they are never dark
they are never sad
they are never empty
The vacant stare is not there.
your hair is a giant mess
and I freeze that moment right there.


You said you were alone
you said it was a secret
you asked me about my darkest
and you told me all your secrets
I have never been in that much peace knowing I kept you there
It felt like moments when it was hours and you were gone too **** soon.
tomorrow came too fast and it was up to you.
it was always up to you.

Now I wear a band on my wrist
and pray for your peace
that is all I have left,
but you mean so much to me.
I hope you are happy,
I hope your journey has ended
and you found what you wanted
My heart was once broken
but soon if all this is true
it will be mended.