The suit was ready,
pressed, waiting.
I had rolled a plan —
calm,
a father.
Just a little ****.
No speed.
No ******* way, not that day.

But then —
woooof!
The blanket ripped off,
a scream in the dark,
instinct took over,
a punch
a crash —
a body flew across the room.

Four cops.
“It’s the police!”

The one I hit just said,
“****… you hit hard.”

I sat up in bed,
calm like the eye of a storm,
watched them search,
they didn’t find the kilo under the bed.
I smiled.

“What’s the suit for?”
“My daughter’s confirmation.
Please… let me keep that joint on the table.”

I signed a confession
to avoid the station.
They left.
But they took the joint.
And the control.

And right there —
my mind exploded.
ADHD on fire.
No brakes.
No logic.
Just drive.

I put on the suit,
walked ten kilometers,
found a friend
with what I needed in his pocket.

There I sat.
Needle in hand.
Pulled some blood,
pushed it back with the dose.
Tears flowing like a river.

And the thought:
What about your girl now?

That was rock bottom.
But it was also the line.
The turning point.
Because this —
could never happen again.

welcome to my brain

I was born upside down,
Preikestolen in my spine,
Baldr whispered, “Run wild,”
and I never learned to walk—only charge.

I meditate in chaos,
hold breath till the silence shivers.
Doctors panic.
I just smirk.
Two minutes is peace to me.

I kick air to remind gravity
that I’m still the boss
and punch walls of thought
just to hear them echo.

Luzifer lights my thoughts—
not evil, just awake.
Baldr wraps them in gold.
Shaolin monks?
I’d spar one,
bowing with bruises and respect.

Poetry drips from my lungs
like fog off the fjord.
I speak in sparks and
rhyme with thunder.
My mind’s a temple with no roof—
every god welcome
as long as they listen.

I am ADHD
in motion and meaning.
A storm wearing headphones.
A spliff-lit oracle.

And if you feel too much—
if your heart rattles like mine—
don’t run.

Sit.
Breathe.
Roar.

It’s starting. I feel the taps.
I glance over my shoulder. No one there.
In my mind? “Hey chum, got time to spare?”
Time slipped and left the dreadful gaps.

“Hey chum, care to wake up?”
Reality calls. Eyes on us. “Help me out here?”
“Sorry chum, nothing but void.” A nervous tear.
Get up and pour some coffee in that cup.

Dear mind, we need to talk.
“Cease your violent tapping, leave me be!”
Eerily quiet, but the shadows glee.
Dim lights. Senses rest during a late night walk.

Hopeful dawn. Tell me a story, my friend.
“Look at you, chum! Paying attention!” Rising stress.
His lips move, his words roll. Tap tap. “Mind, please continue to process!”
A fleeting tale, instantly lost. I was there for you, yet absent.  

A mind deep as the universe, yet without gravity.
During daylight, always beckoned by fantasy.
My thoughts fade away, my memory fails. I swear it’s not apathy.
I try not to drift. Please bear with me, for your love is my necessity.