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4 am
And the fog blankets the lake.
Critters wake
Crickets chirp
And fawns are alert.
On the surface,
A turtle's head
Emerges from the stillness.
The smooth reflection of
Moonlight is disrupted
As four wild youths
Run to the water.
This is where we belong.
I showed my best friend
A picture of me from years ago.
She told me the light is
Gone from my eyes.
That it looked as though a
Ghost had went through
Me and ripped my spirit out.
In a way, that did happen.
Only you aren't a ghost,
And I still have a spirit,
It's just lost.
When my eyes met yours,
It felt like a million light years
Until our gazes escaped each others.
It was only a fraction of a second
And it was torture.
Months ago,
I would sneak out to his car
And we would drive for hours
Under the night sky.

Honest conversations would erupt.
Once I told him that
I hoped to trip into love,
Not seeing it coming.
Fall over it stumbling.

I would shiver when
The engine shut off.
Our warm bodies
Would become close,
In his backseat beneath
His heavy blanket.

Sometimes I would become so cold
That he would let me
Wrap myself in the blanket.
My head would lay in his warm lap.

His hands would warm my cheeks,
His fingers tracing,
Drawing shapes on my skin
And brush through my hair.
I could always feel his eyes on me,
As I drifted to a dream land.

I would stumble to
The front door in the morning
With frizzy hair and
Wrinkled clothes.
My father would be waiting,
Toes tapping
And arms crossed.

One night he told me I was beautiful.
I blushed and giggled,
Then he told me I was stumbling.

On a Saturday, his car slid on the ice
With me in the passengers seat
I hope when he sees those dents
And crushed light he thinks of me.

He smashed his car,
Oh what a coincidence.
It was a car accident
And I accidentally tripped,
And my heart broke.

Despite,
I would give anything
For a car ride with him.
I think of the nights in your car.
Watching the stars.
I pointed out the ones that fell,
While you watched me from the driver's seat.
One night I saw three,
Set ablaze by gravity.
I silently wished upon them
For it to always be that way.
You telling me such sweet things.
Making me feel wanted and understood.
Sliding your hands through my hair.
Fingertips dancing across my skin.
You didn't pay attention to
The falling rocks,
You watched as my heart fell
From the sky and right onto your lap.
You were the one person
That made the world disappear.
Now we're strangers.
You've hurt me like I've done to others.
Past pain floods in my ribs.
I suppose the tears
Are just the ones I owe.
It's been dark lately.

There's an object laying
In a small lavender box,
Behind a picture on my bookshelf.
It hasn't been touched in years.
Its been calling to me.
Pretending to be a siren,
Silver and shiny,
Longing for my blood to drip on it.
Singing that it's the only solution.

It's been very dark lately.
I'm terrified.
Katelyn Billat Nov 2019
There's something about
The crisp air of autumn.
Taking it into your lungs,
And letting it out
As a cloud of breath
Escapes your lips
And disappears
Into the trees.
The only sounds are
Of the leaves that have fallen,
Crunching beneath your feet.
Perhaps it's lovely to let things go.
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