I am on fire
Step by step feet scorched by flames
Breath by breath I burn

I do not want to be alone
Where I struggle on my own
Saying I am okay to anyone who asks
Looking down so no one sees past my mask

Both our hearts are caught in between
Envy coating us pistachio-green
A varnish not shiny but smooth
Reflecting light the tiniest move
Eye-catching beauty to who dares look
A white pebble sparkling in a slow-paced brook
Containing jealous winds with restraints of ink
Emotions grow faster than you think
What starts as cloudy weather goes from small to bad
Soon a storm of feelings leaves you powerless and sad

That day, I fell into the snow,
I looked up and happened to see a rainbow,
You held out your hand, your hair was messed,
The smile on your face put me at rest.

My heart filled up with joy and hope,
You gave me a will and a way to cope,
The sunshine shining down that day,
Blew my troubles and all else away.

That day I gave you my fragile heart,
Hoping you wouldn't break it apart,
Love is the lesson you helped me learn,
By giving me yours in return.

I know inside this is right
Still it feels so wrong
I am sitting here all alone
Believing its where I belong

Wouldn't my mother be so proud
To see what I have become?
Hidden behind hurt and unhappiness
Shut off from **** near everyone

I will listen to this music
Smile and I'll lie
Show how strong I can be
I just want to cry

I am too afraid to reach out
Try and take somebody's hand
When it is an impossibility
They could ever understand

Icy doilies
Murmuring
Dropping illusions
Of pledges and confirmations

A bitter day
Visions of amore
The avenues we choose
Decide our fate

Bobbing, pirroetting, snow
Composing a concord
Of abashment and bedlam
Tipping to and fro

Advising mice and squirrels
Not to venture outside
Lest they be swallowed
By a blustering freeze

Sputter and cough
Wheeze and wallow
Litter the earth
With frosty white tears

Am I not deserving the truth?
Know how you actually feel?
Are you so desperate to hide from me?
Begging you to be real

Who are you underneath lies?
Best friend or simply a fraud?
Play such a convincing part
Tempted to applaud

Where you go without me
You leave me here alone
Is it so ******* difficult
Answering your ringing phone?

When did you start losing interest?
Was it there in the first place?
Was our relationship only a distraction?
Grew to take up too much space

What changed us into someone else?
Love used to be deep and so strong
Asked the question a million times
You refuse to tell me what I'm doing wrong

Why must you play games with my emotions?
Trust you break like a toy
Say one thing then do another
You're like every other boy

If you want
See other people
Why bother telling me you don't?
What good does getting my hopes up do?
Promising to do things you won't

Am I ugly?
Do I get on your nerves?
What is driving away?
Not too late to turn this around
Do you want me to stay?

How can you love yet rip my chest open?
Silence and the absence of your touch
Back and forth puzzle is driving me crazy
Can I stop loving you so much?

Happier without
Probably laughing alone
But maybe he's not

I have been drinking too much to write you a song
Downed too many drinks to say I care
Because when sober the pain becomes
Far too much for me to bear

I've been drowning sorrows in alcohol
Numbing the hurt night after night
I want to tell you I love you
I've been drinking too much to write

Fragile fragments fade forever
As heart is erased
Emotions won't budge
Forgotten never
Wishes were a waste

Harmony hardened
Harmful haste
Hate the way time twisted our thoughts
You don't even remember the taste
Of tongues tied into knots

Why thoughts of us remain
Though you've disappeared
Is a burden I can't ascertain
Reason is unclear

Stubbornly clinging to pieces of the past
Remnants of love both once knew
Cannot comprehend we didn't last
Everything we have been through

As icicles decorating roof outside
Melt as snow slowly thaws
Water droplets fall like tears cried
For each one you are the cause

Directing chills up and down my spinal cord
Could shoulder makes me shake
Shiver in shadows as I am ignored
Never thought I would be the one you forsake

I hear words said long ago
Yet too significant to forget
You loved me and begged me not to go
Your adoration somehow reset

The death of our unique connection
Left me with nothing but grief
Cannot accept this is really the end of our intersection
Obsession arouses disbelief

So many years now washed down the drain
Like you vanished into thin air
Loneliness steadily drives brain insane
Can't help but miss you despite the despair

I do not like being unfeeling
Hate that I'm always alone
But love does not dare find me
While I am stuck in my comfort zone

Happiness awaits my grasp
Just beyond hand's reach
I cannot get there by walking
Or by any form of speech

I need a road of hopes to come
Not a wish upon a distant star
Emotion will be my gasoline
My heart is my car

Still I stop to wonder
About promises bound to break
Pain and hurt so why should I
Make this gigantic mistake?

Once again I am safe
Unhappy, out of harm's way
Discontent but unbroken
In this place I will surely stay

Four cozy walls surround me
My prison and also my home
Scared, silent, and sound I still wait
Inside my little comfort zone

I don't know how I got to where I am,
Even worse, I don't know how to leave,
I feel like my emotions are a maze,
Throughout these tunnels I turn and weave.

All I can do is wander, lost,
Around and around I go about,
Trudging through these dark corridors,
Until the day I find my way out.

I care too deeply for my own good
It ruins every good thing eventually
I do not sleep often, obsessing over
Meaning in the words you say puposefully.

I go on an intellectual treasure hunt
Kindness, love, and hope wear thin
Exhausted, too focused to stop
To take surroundings gracefully in.

Amidst the inflection and subtle gestures
Lurks underlying anger, spite
There's no battle, we've given up
No longer have the will to fight.

Get up, go forward, give it all I've got
Go to sleep with an aching heart
Repeat steps from the day before
A string of miseries I avoid yet endlessly start.

You have to go through the worst to experience the best
These days are not easy but you are truly blessed
No matter how hard life gets don't let go
You are more loved than you will ever know

Traveled many roads
Every direction I walk
Leads back to your arms

The moment felt your lips on mine again
Footsteps on my heart
Wings filled not only my stomach
Fluttered through each part

Even being apart for months
Still run back to your embrace
Beginning to wonder if we truly love
Or just love the chase

I have given all I had before
Won't do the same thing twice
Took until there was nothing left
Inside my heart but butterflies and ice

**** violent urges
Heaven's gate in your smile
Hook with fleeting surges of warmth
Through frozen veins for miles

No one able to light up my body like you
The way winding happiness spreads throughout
Like wildfire with one single touch
Burning hesitation in my core along with doubt

I do not know why I let you back into my life
Into every tissue and cell
Thought that I was free from your control
Rooted too deeply to completely expel

But see her strength shine
Has will to move tall mountains
When life gets too hard

One of the toughest things I've ever done
Watch the person I truly love
Change from my soulmate, best friend, the one
To total stranger, how did you become
This distant mirage, cold and numb?
In blink of eye went from my sun
To pouring rain I cannot overcome
You were my someone, I was just your anyone
Now I'm the one looking dumb
A fool living under your thumb
Have your spirit written in rhyme
Truth hiding within every line
Describing a wild exciting time
I was yours and you were mine
It sure was a roller-coaster ride
Through flips and turns stayed by your side
Couldn't give the world but I swear that I tried
By giving my whole heart and letting you inside
By no means am i perfect, I became obsessed
Lies and betrayal made me a huge mess
Wrongdoings are hard to confess
Hare that I left, after I stressed
The fact we would always be best
Friends forever, forever lasted less
Time than we hoped, our clock is at rest
All good eventually end I guess.

HOOK:
I remember when I fell in love
Now we are falling apart
Gave me broken promises
I gave my bleeding heart
I never thought we would part
But this is the end, we can't restart.

Now there is a deep hole in my soul
Time floating on, taking its toll
Where is the piece I need to become whole?
I cannot breathe, yet I am smoking this bowl
My chest is heavy, lacking control,
Knees shake, does not feel right to console
The tears commanded, what is your goal?
Why do you say such warm words when you act so cold?
You have a lot of growing up to do
I will admit I have some too
Although it hurts to break you in two
For both our sakes, I am saying we are through.

(HOOK)

Hear a soundtrack in my head
In bed, songs of strong fear and dread
Killing all my confidence
Covering me with bruises, dents
Melodies cutting deep inside
Rearrange brain, then divide
Thoughts pulled from opened mind
Want to leave sorrow behind
Sing myself to sleep with a tune
Hopefully we feel better soon
If stars are out and you're feeling blue
Look at the moon, know this much is true
Wherever I am, under the same dark sky too
And part of me is thinking of you.

I want to feel your familiar body close
I am yearning for your gentle touch
I am lying in my bed alone
And I have never needed you so much

I am ready to be yours again
If you give me another try
I would show you what you're missing out on
And I will make you regret saying goodbye

Don't you think I deserve one more chance?
I can be who you need me to be
Take me back into your arms
And I am sure that I can make you see

Tell me exactly where I went wrong
How did I turn our day to night?
I will do anything that I can
To flip it around and make things right

He is taking his chances
Wasted his life chasing a buzz
For years the only things that mattered
Were money, power and drugs

He kept running after the high
Gotten from clout and respect
Phone blowing up 24/7
Altered by success

And he can't imagine a life
Other than fast and fun
No matter how far he goes
The distance is never enough

So he falls and spirals down
To the bottom he heavily crashes
And he struggles to climb out of the hole
As his body crumbles like ashes