Thoughts racing, my minds all over. Scattered, never at ease. How do I control it? Deceitful to my own feelings. Agenda of different formalities. Agitated, restless, confused, conflicted. I feel nothing
Detached and running away from familiarity. I don’t want you to know me Attachment is detrimental to my own intense feelings... once connected, I get obsessed, compulsive thoughts piling up and over analyzing everything until I go ****** insane and it never stops and I keep spinning around in circles and I keep doing the same thing and I stay in the trap of my own ****** crazy mind.
I change so naturally, adapting like a chameleon and pretending I am not who I am like it comes so naturally, like who I am in that moment is the real me.
Who am I? People make me sick. I sit in my room wanting the be alone. Abnormal speed of racing thoughts like I am permanently on coke. But I’m not, it’s just me.
I’m a Taurus ***** with crazy twisted sense of writing that comes from my inability to express myself outwardly. I express in writing with my Gemini Lilith and Ascendant showing it’s true rawest form in my words. My Pisces moon hides itself and I have nothing left but to isolate and escape. But intense feelings and obsessive thoughts arise with my Scorpio North Node and Pluto.
Astro *** and psychic. Tarot reader and empath... I am my own ****** nightmare
My inability to stop my self, it is showing It is a compulsive disorder, nothing can stop me now I cannot control my self, I've tried million times Resisting this urge, it is increasingly difficult Mind won't listen, and hands don't too I've searched your name in every space of internet Learn new things is an accomplishment, Look through the same old, to understand you I am obsessed, I admit Find me cure of this addiction now I cannot go on like this forever, or can I?
Some parents try to control their children, There's nothing wrong with controlling them, No, there's nothing wrong with it, they think, And they keep on doing it and dictating them. As they find nothing wrong with it, they do it. They satisfy the unrelinquished egos of their own, Suffocating the children even after they grow up.
All I have to do is go around the corner To the other entrance to the parking lot This should be easy Driving is easy I pull up to the road and look both ways And horror strikes me to my core The street isn’t empty
My knuckles turn pale as I grip the steering wheel Like a cross to keep myself from shaking My foot is on the gas pedal The direction that this 3,000 pound machine goes Is under my control I lose control of my breath
I pull out onto the street
Swerve into the left lane My mind says There’s a family next to you A mother singing along to the radio A father stressing about his job A little girl playing video games in the back Next to her baby brother, still in a car seat Their lives are fragile My mind tells me Slaughter them
I stop at the stop sign and look both ways
Humans are made of paper and glass They collapse and shatter in a gentle breeze And with this car I am Prospero I can call tempests I can crush their ribcages Beneath the weight of metal and horsepower Even if mother and father live They must live with the empty space Left behind by their much more tenuous children I am collapsing under the weight of the power I hold I am overwhelmed with visions of what I could do What I might do What I fear I will do
I turn the corner
I want to reach into my skull And rip my brain free from its cavity I do not want it to control me I have no power over these obsessions Despite the cocktail of medications I am prescribed Despite the therapy The conditioning I can always pull the steering wheel These intrusive thoughts will always infect me They spread from my head to the rest of my body like a disease I am sick