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JKirin Nov 2021
Coffee and writing sound very inviting:
sit, sip the roast, and write a few words;
by the end of the cup, all the words would add up
to a wholesome fic – it's a magic trick!
about writing with a cup of coffee
JKirin Nov 2021
They've always been here — the signs—
in your every smile, your sighs,
in the long, gentle touches,
on your cheeks rosed with blushes.

What a fool I've been, didn't see,
didn't save you from ruin, from me.
I have failed you. I'm at fault —
you're in anguish; you hurt.

Stay away! I'm unworthy
of your kindness and mercy.
There is something I'm scared of —
I'm too hollow to bear love.

They've always been here — the signs—
in the way the whole world shines.
about believing to not be able to love nor accept it, and not realizing that you already do love
JKirin Oct 2021
Don't be scared in the face of darkness.
Let it cloak you inside its blankets.
There is nothing to see nor to hear
in this numbing cocoon - it's safe here.

Fear the light - it deceives, it blinds,
Lures you in with its warmth, but hides
gravest dangers right in the shallows.
Where there's light there're always shadows.

When a shadow crawls, reaches for you
It's too late to run. Your fate is doomed.
about hidden dangers and unexpected comforts
Oct 2021 · 2.7k
My Hands
JKirin Oct 2021
I sit here
in the dark
lost in thoughts,
torn apart.

There is blood
on my hands
of my foes,
of my friends.

As I look at each finger,
I let memories linger.

Only blood
know my hands –
of my foes,
of my friends.

I am death,
unworthy
of your love,
your mercy.

Yet, you kiss every finger.
Your kind warmth, your breath linger.

I’m still here
in the dark,
but in you
I see light.
about a soldier who is loved tenderly despite his past
Oct 2021 · 1.8k
Monster
JKirin Oct 2021
Rotten smell.
Stale water.
In this well –
a monster.

Twisted horns,
horrid maw –
a wild beast!
You would know...

You entrapped it in there,
but to leave, don't you dare.

It is stuck
in the dark –
cannot run
nor attack.

The beast calls
from the pit –
you can hear
it weep.

You entrapped it in there...
Its sad cries, you must bear.
about a monster, but which one?
JKirin Sep 2021
I never knew love before seeing him—
a beauty under the southern night sky—
as he danced, his strong body pliant and slim,
to the tunes of a distant guitar.

I never knew love before seeing him
with his heels on the pavement click-clacking.
As he flares his dress, goes to a spin,
with a rose in his hair – he is striking.

Each step, each clap – I am at his mercy.
Each beat, each dance – he is all I can see.
I'm lost, I'm in love, I'm down on my knee –
each time I pray that he also sees me.
about falling in love with a queer gypsy flamenco dancer
Sep 2021 · 1.5k
Regal, Vile
JKirin Sep 2021
Regal,
vile—
the beast aims to ****
but I am frozen in place.
My blood's running still
in its frightening grace,
and I smile—
regal,
vile.
about being mesmerized by a beast
Sep 2021 · 2.9k
I'm in agony
JKirin Sep 2021
I'm in agony –
your pale eyes haunt my dreams every night.
Darkest ebony –
to take hold of your locks I just might,
bring your lips to mine.
I don't trust my restraint – I have come apart.
But my feelings are pure, this is why I write.
I lay bare my heart –
treat it as you like.
about confessing the desire to embrace another man
Sep 2021 · 1.2k
I need you to walk away
JKirin Sep 2021
I need you to walk away,
to forget about me, be happy.
I'll live with this pain each day
but I won't let it ever break me.
My love is my own mistake.
Don't be sad for me, please, forget me.
"Go back to him, now!" I ache...
"I'm in anguish, with you!" Be happy...
I need you to walk away.
I need you...
about loving a man who is happy with another, sending away but not able to let go
Sep 2021 · 1.2k
Ghosts of our Past
JKirin Sep 2021
Through the years of war,
only dreaming of peace,
we're ghosts of our past.
Will our agony cease
or forever last?
about those who suffer through war
JKirin Sep 2021
My emotions pour out in a torrent
with the sound of this magical night:
as you move in a trance, in the moment,
I embrace you with bright disco lights.

Hear the beats of my heart, of the music;
touch the notes of the dance, of my soul;
lose yourself to the rhythm, amuse me -
on the dance floor, for you, I'm the song.
about a dj, lost in the moment to become a song for the dancers
JKirin Sep 2021
Magic beans and fairytale lattes
ease your burdens, supply you with strength.
To survive through yet one of your Mondays,
sip the warmth and release a held breath.
about the magic of coffee
Jul 2021 · 4.7k
Blooming Trees
JKirin Jul 2021
Cherry petals through currents of air
travel far to get caught in your hair.
Just as I travelled, woeful, worldwide
to find home here, at last, by your side.
Thrown off balance when first meeting you,
I resisted but fell for your charm
and strong heart that can never wish harm.
Blooming trees around you—what a view...
I reach out, set the pink petals free
from the waves of your locks—a brown sea.
Like a siren, you call—my head dips.
You're the one in control, don't you see?
My mind races, my pulse wildly skips
as I steal a warm gasp from your lips.
about finding home in another man, worshipping him under blossoming trees
Jul 2021 · 1.1k
Birds in a Cage
JKirin Jul 2021
Only fools would lock birds in a cage.
There they grow, and with them grows their rage.

In their eyes you can see the desire
to break free, to tear down the barbed wire,
and to launch at their captor, with claws—
sinking deep in his flesh all because—

—only fools would lock birds in a cage,
where they grow, and with them grows their rage.
about an internal rage of a being in captivity
Jul 2021 · 1.3k
You never loved me, did you?
JKirin Jul 2021
So, it came as no surprise,
that I got caught in your lies.
You played my heart like a toy
then crushed, with sickening joy.
Everybody around knew…
You never loved me, did you?
about being betrayed by a lover
Jul 2021 · 1.5k
Get out of the way
JKirin Jul 2021
Can you hear the buzz in the air—
the electric charge? See a flare
lighten up the roadway to your death?
Are you ready to take your last breath?
No? What a dull, boring affair...
Get out of the way, far from here!
about a demon coming across an unworthy opponent
Jul 2021 · 955
Stay
JKirin Jul 2021
It hurts, my love.

It hurts, my love; I’m filled with sorrow.

While you are here (close but miles and miles away),

what can I say to change your mind so you’d stay?

Don’t go, my love…

Don’t go, my love, where I can’t follow.

Let’s think together of some other way. Stay.
about not wanting to part with the loved one
Apr 2021 · 886
Without You
JKirin Apr 2021
In the night, I pretend to feel warmth
of your body and hands, big and strong,
wishing not to wake up, not to feel
this cold absence of you (too real).
I escape to the fantasy—
—stop,
loose myself in the ecstasy—
—don't!
Would you think of me less if you knew
that I wish to not see morning dew?
But the sun will come out anyway,
painting all of my dreams with cold grey...
After making another mistake,
I sit here, on our bed, wide awake.
Slender body beside is not yours.
I'm not fooled: It's not love – it's remorse.

Here, I crumble in this morning light,
feeling all the effects of last night.
He'll wake up and pick up all his stuff,
look at me and breathe out: "that's enough."
He will leave; there isn't much I can give
to him now, as your absence I grieve.
One day, maybe, I'll see him for him,
Embrace on purpose — not on a whim.
Would you deem me a cheat if I flee
to his arms and pretend to be free
from this loss, maybe learning to heal?
Would you blame me for wanting to feel
his—another man's—warmth in our bed
that hasn't been warm at all since you left?
about grief and loosing yourself in the arms of another man
Apr 2021 · 703
Don’t come near!
JKirin Apr 2021
Don’t come near!
I’m talking to you, you hear?
I’m no longer your purposeless teacher.
Here before you now stands a graceless dangerous treacher.
Have you come here to fight, my dearest pupils?
Here, now, I have no scruples—
Fools! Prepare!
about a teacher turning evil
Apr 2021 · 2.0k
Spring
JKirin Apr 2021
Behind,
the season of snows and sorrows.
Bygone are its long frozen nights.

Spring brings
the promise of brighter morrows
and wonder to everyday sights.

I watch
as beautiful cherries blossom.
With them,
a light in my heart ignites.
watching cherry blossoms and letting go of the worries
Mar 2021 · 1.7k
Call My Name
JKirin Mar 2021
Call my name,
see the ghost of the past I became.

Of this world, I am lost in the shadow
left to feed off the old war’s debris.
It’s too big for an innocent child
that is forced to grow up, don’t you see?

In the village, I walk unnoticed –
every grownup stares right through me.
On my tasks, I try to stay focused,
while the one thing I want is to scream.

Scream out loud at the people, the street
to be heard for a second, be seen.
In this world, do I even exist?
How, a child, would I even know this?

Call my name,
bring me back to the living, again.
about orphans
Mar 2021 · 1.5k
Golden Rays
JKirin Mar 2021
Of the setting sun, golden rays
to your beauty cannot compare.
At your smile, my cheeks go ablaze
as my heart screams out in despair.

How I long to caress your hair,
brush away honey coloured strands,
to get lost in your silver stare,
kiss all night your beautiful hands.

Insecure, I am sitting here
right beside, quietly wishing
that my voiceless plea you hear,
to reach out give me permission.
About being smitten with someone so much it hurts
Mar 2021 · 746
As You Wait For Me
JKirin Mar 2021
Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

I fight through this long night thinking of you, only of you.
Around, canons are loud, I will pull through, I will pull through.
Absurd! You'll hear a word that I am gone, that I am gone.
Believe, darling, believe – I'm coming home, I'm coming home.

I will ****, cut, slay
every foe, every last foe
that is on my way
from this war, pointless long war.

I must go, must run
and escape this wretched fate.
Early with the sun
you will wait for me, my mate.

Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

The enemies strike
with spears and spikes.
They advance, advance, advance.

They all think I'm weak!
Their future is bleak.
In this fight, they have no chance.

They fight to death not knowing
I have someone to live for.
I've made someone a promise
to survive this wretched war.
I will go through hell and fire,
to return to you, my love.
There is nothing that can stop me, when you wait for me, my love.

Visions of you give me strength. I'll survive this
war full of pain and destruction around us.
Soon, I'll be home with you, darling, I promise,
back in your arms, greeting you with a soft kiss.

I imagine you standing
waiting out there all alone.
From the dawn to dusk, worrying,
if I'll come back from the front.
Thinking of the hell and fire
between you and I, my love.
There is nothing that can stop me, when you wait for me, my love.

Visions of you gave me strength. I survived this
war full of pain and destruction behind us.
Now, I am home with you, darling, as promised,
Come to my arms, welcome me with a soft kiss.
a song about a man caught in the midst of a battle, thinking of his lover, who is waiting for him back home
Feb 2021 · 1.7k
Right Here
JKirin Feb 2021
Gentle breaths, huffs, escape your sweet kiss-swollen lips.
At the feel of your heartbeat, my own wildly skips.
I am content right here with your head on my chest.
I will hold you close, dear, while you’re taking your rest.
Feb 2021 · 728
One must know drizzles
JKirin Feb 2021
One must know drizzles and days of gloom
to see the beauty—a rose in bloom.
Jan 2021 · 820
There is no escape
JKirin Jan 2021
There is no escape...
A creature of evil—the dark!
You roam through the night well hidden—
ghostlike!
Your strike –
a deathly finesse! Crushed, smitten,
he falls down – your victim, your mark.
There is no escape!
about deathly creatures of the night
Jan 2021 · 4.2k
Leaf by Leaf
JKirin Jan 2021
At the top of a hill in a land far away,
stands a seedling alone; its leaves quietly sway.

It has nowhere to hide from the blistering sun;
there's no shield from the winds that frequently run.
Empty land – there isn't a bush nor a tree nearby.
It grows there all alone, but it is getting by...

On the nights full of rain and frightening lightning,
through a quiver of fear, it would stay there fighting:
"I want one day to grow to a big, mighty tree
with a trunk wide and strong that no wind could bend me!"
Its small roots would absorb murky water from storms
and by morning it smiles as a new leaf bud forms.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, this small seedling gets bigger.
Twig by twig, year by year; to grow large it is eager.

On occasion it would get a visit or two:
cheerful birds from the sky would come down to say Hi,
and a fluffy white rabbit would drop by, out of habit;
friendly ants, butterflies, and at night fireflies—
all would merrily chatter but too soon all would scatter.

With a smile, the seedling would request them to stay
but would always hear back: "I must be on my way!"
One day, curious, it asked: "On your way, where to?"
"To the woods down the hill, full of trees just like you!"
"Full of trees just like me..." no one heard it whisper
rustling leaves, as the air around it got crisper.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, it still grows but looks small.
Twig by twig, year by year; it's alone, after all.

Having grown tall enough, the seedling now sees it—
past the field down the hill—the one place all birds visit:
a majestic forest stretching wide—a green sea!
—with tall pines, mighty oaks, and other grown trees.

What a beautiful sight! It just can't turn away!
Wishes strongly the seedling, to be there one day.
It dreams of gentle sounds running through the lush crowns,
of the comforting shade that the woods surely make.
Stretching branches—now long!—
wishes it to belong...

Leaf by leaf, day by day, cries the seedling...
"Unfair!"
Twig by twig, year by year;
"Why do I grow out here?"

Very lonely, the seedling remains on the hill,
casting shadows dark, broad, keeping leaves very still.
Hoping that through the years, it will stop being sad,
and will once again notice that this place isn't bad.

It is there for a reason not easily seen:
for the birds and rabbits, it's a sheltering tree.
When they stop to say Hi, coming down from the sky,
they are looking for shelter from a summer day's swelter
or a comforting shoulder on the days that are colder.

Leaf by leaf, day by day, now an oak, it's grown tall.
Twig by twig, year by year; it's alright, after all.

On a very nice day, after cold driving rain,
in the grass, not too far, it saw something bizarre—
the sight so peculiar and oddly familiar—
a seedling so tiny it looked almost funny!

But the sun was hot—scorching, to the seedling's misfortune.
And the leaves were trembling, their form too much resembling
of the oak's lonely past. Stretching branches, lush, vast,
it protected the youngling that was, clearly, struggling.
In the comforting shade, it could stay unafraid.
                                              *
At the top of a hill in a land far away,
grow a seedling and oak; their leaves quietly sway.
Dec 2020 · 807
Winter and Night
JKirin Dec 2020
When both winter and night
waltz through lands, it’s a sight;
It’s a magical moment—the nature’s delight.

Silver light from the moon,
as they dance to slow tunes,
Would reflect on the surface of pearl-white dunes.

Snow would sparkle so bright
it would match the starlight;
It would set the dark forest, the whole world, alight.

Gusts of wind from the ground,
whirling, twisting around,
Would swoosh down ice slopes to create a rare sound.

Frosty music would fill
lands with wonder and thrill—
Notes of magic so warm you won’t notice the chill.

It’s a precious, magnificent sight
When white winter twirls, sings with dark night.
Dec 2020 · 2.9k
First Snow
JKirin Dec 2020
What is this? Mom, quickly, please tell me!
It's fluffy, and falling from heaven!  
Reminds me of insects or petals  
but sparkles like little white crystals –  
so bright and incredibly pretty.  
I have to now, instantly, get it!  
What is this thing? I simply must know!  
Mom! Dad!
          "Honey,"
                        "Dear, this is just snow."

Snow!

So cold was today, gloomy and grey  
that none of my friends wanted to play.  
Now it's all fluffy, snowy outside—  
there's no way I'm staying inside!
about the excitement of seeing snow for the first time
Dec 2020 · 2.3k
Frozen
JKirin Dec 2020
Thick and quiet – the snowfall around us;
easy silence; we walk through the forest.
There’s no need for small talk or stories –
we have lived through them all, to be honest.

Cold is creeping inside and I shiver,
I’m a wreak as we stop by the river.
Chill is only a part of the worry –
deep inside, for you feelings I’ve buried.

Always kind, you have noticed me get cold;
of my palms you have taken a strong hold.
Your breath warms my shaking frostbitten hands
but it is my heart that hopelessly melts.

Here, in place, I stand totally frozen.
You are close, but I want to be closer.
Would you let my mouth steal, savour this breath,
my arms hold you right here, in an embrace?
about loving someone through years of friendship
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
This Simple Feeling
JKirin Dec 2020
My gut is in knots;
I feel agitated.
From space jumps? It’s not.
It’s more complicated...

Aboard our starship,
glances we’re stealing.
More than a friendship –
this simple feeling.
about the beginning of love
Dec 2020 · 514
Never and Always
JKirin Dec 2020
Can one blame me for hiding?
For this cowardice?
Not because of embarrassment
Nor the prejudice,

But because of the fear of loosing you.
What we have—I hold onto it foolishly.

Longing for your trust (absolute, mutual),
I stay by your side. Like a ritual,
Thought repeats, (hopeless, in a haze):
“I await for you, never and always.”
about loving someone through years of friendship
Dec 2020 · 668
I want for few
JKirin Dec 2020
I want for few, as you know:
be here with you and the snow.
about being content with what's already there
Dec 2020 · 935
Lightning
JKirin Dec 2020
Crushing lightning you strike; aim – to ****.
All the air is charged with your presence.
Flashing eyes in the rain, deathly chill –
You’re a roar in the sky, a menace.
about a lightning god
Dec 2020 · 229
Advice
JKirin Dec 2020
Though hectic, thoughts, feelings, still love them;
Breathe slow, me, creating a poem.
advice to myself
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
Break of Dawn
JKirin Dec 2020
Snow descends in white flurries,
somewhat hovering, drifting.
All is still, nothing hurries;
only shadows are shifting.
Night retreats,
moves on
at the break—
of dawn.
about worries leaving and calm taking over
Dec 2020 · 1.1k
Love You, I
JKirin Dec 2020
Love you, I.
With your maddening grace
hold me tight
in a thrilling embrace.
Take my heart
(whole my being), please.
Let me drown
in your luscious kiss.
about a frustrating love
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
Once Upon a Dream
JKirin Dec 2020
Long ago now (if ever), once upon a dream,
I was saved by a deity – lovely, serene.
Circumstances were dire, I am telling the truth:
I was down under water, caught in vines, couldn’t move.
It reached out to me, then, from the depths underneath,
Pulled me up to the surface; I struggled to breathe.

With a song it has lulled me,
Of my safety assured me.

Years by, haven’t once I remembered the vision.
Not until our sudden (or fated?) collision.
When I look in your eyes of warm hazel, I hear
Softest voice from the memory – ethereal, dear.
Are you possibly someone I’ve once only seen,
Long ago now (if ever), once upon a dream?
about that deja vu moment
Dec 2020 · 864
Hear the Call
JKirin Dec 2020
Hear the call.
Let the darkness enwrap you, entrap you.
After all,
Lost in silence, empty defiance,
Is your soul.
Let it scream in the darkness.
Hear the call.
about welcoming the darkness
Dec 2020 · 3.0k
Bloodlust
JKirin Dec 2020
Breathe in—
Smell dark iron; it’s fresh.
Give in—
To the call of the flesh.

Awaken—
This feeling inside me – it’s primal.
The craving, the lust – it is carnal.

Forsaken—
The reason, all thought – elude me.
The salt and the sweet – allure me.

Flow’s thick—
pure.
I seek—
you.
about a new vampire seeking its prey (part of my horror collection)
Dec 2020 · 622
Burden
JKirin Dec 2020
It is heavy—
the burden you carry.
Suffocating—
inside, you’re aching.
Will decreases—
you’re ready to shatter to pieces.

Yet, there’s fire.
Your eyes blaze with anger, desire.
Feel it burning—
all its power, deep, twisting and turning.
Let it out, then—
and escape from the weight of the burden.
about escaping one's darkest thoughts
Dec 2020 · 1.2k
Owned
JKirin Dec 2020
A weapon that’s finely honed—
not more than a wire, a knife.
Nowhere on Earth I belonged,
until you invaded my life.

Around me, your arms wrap with comfort;
warmth spreading; hold’s steady, no effort.

Throughout, all’s familiar, safe.
My self (for what I always longed)—
no longer a weapon, a knife—
a man, fully, finally owned.
about a military man finding home in the arms of another
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
Seeds
JKirin Dec 2020
Meant to flower and blossom with power,
Seeds are planted with care (here, there).
But we’re lost in the shadows – we’re graceless.
Empty masks are around us – they’re faceless.

What becomes of us (empty and hollow)?

Not a flower with a powerful glow.
‘Cause a seed, as you know, doesn’t grow,
When it’s hidden so deep in the darkness.
Will the light and its warmth ever find us?
Dec 2020 · 683
The Moonlight
JKirin Dec 2020
The moonlight.

It’s silver, it’s calming—it brings me some hope.

Its presence, though distant, is constant.

It lightens the burden of sorrows

until I am lost in these horrors.

What makes me – imposter? a monster?

I shiver; it’s frightening—I plead all to stop,

to rewrite—

the moonlight.
about losing one's self in grief
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
Just for You
JKirin Dec 2020
Just for you, baby (only), I bloom.
Your simple smile lightens the room,
Leaving me breathless
And giddy – it’s madness.
Just for you, baby (only), I bloom.
about loving someone so much that your heart blooms
Dec 2020 · 976
Home
JKirin Dec 2020
There’s comfort and calm,
in your house, in you –
Like a different realm,
After all we’ve been through.

Your small touch—gaze alone—
is a home. Have you known?
about loving someone through friendship and wondering if they have always known
Dec 2020 · 626
The Prism
JKirin Dec 2020
You are real.

My reflection is foreign, it’s haunted –

You are out there (I see you, I want you).

Lover’s caress spills traces of colour,

Making pain in my heart even duller.

Wishing idly (to touch you, to feel you),

I’m stuck here—this moment, my torment.

Help me heal.
Dec 2020 · 2.2k
Fated Meeting
JKirin Dec 2020
Like a quiet summer night,
it was—
or a gentle gust of wind,
and just as fleeting:
Their fated meeting.
Dec 2020 · 341
Is it Real?
JKirin Dec 2020
“Is it real when your mouth is on mine?
Do we share a heart when our bodies align?”
Thoughts are frantic in jealousy, torment,
As I savour this fleeting soft moment…
can't help but wonder
Dec 2020 · 1.0k
Selfish Man
JKirin Dec 2020
I am a selfish man.
Here, now, even then,
I take all that you give, all you offer.
From a boy to a man, as I suffer,
You arise and blossom, beside me.
Still, my feelings, desires escape free.

Stop this greed—I don’t know if I can.
I am yours, I am a selfish man.
about loving a man through years of friendship and yearning for more

— The End —