I know you had to leave me, and that you had no choice but If had to be so Then I prayed let be In summer so you wouldn't you feel the cold, but again my prayers were not answered Like the times I've prayed before, so I've gradually lost my faith now I'm left here all alone
Lost my faith, again my prayers have gone unoticed like all my prayer before
Bringing a poor family turkey and fixings an afternoon repairing the widow’s fence making a shelf unit for Pam’s dining room all these grand efforts would feel good and might get me noticed but what about a smile to a stranger a call to my cousin putting away my old neighbor’s garbage can smoothing my wife’s hair as I pass behind her easy chair waving at the new guy on the block who doesn’t know me bringing a cold drink to the yardman?
Going small is better than nothing at all when I’ve talked myself out of the big deed due to time, tired, bruise or bleed.
I'm sorry im not pretty enough to be the one you admire I'm sorry for not being feminine enough to be called cute I'm sorry for not being the one you look forward to texting I'm sorry for being annoying when i kept asking you how your day went I'm sorry for not being the one you like Im sorry for loving you
You are there in air rustling in leaves whooshing in sonorous song chiming in wind among the trees.
Even here on this silver screen you beam key to key bouncing exciting protons making small creatures one character at a time.
You even whisper so quietly in the daily hum of my life I rarely hear or notice the strong power of your love.
How can I miss the soft sound hiding in the passages of my day in my every breath you traveling freely in every molecule of my being?
I need to try harder second to second to listen first to the sibilant sound of you tiptoeing in the background your acoustic presence in every step I take every noise I make every thought I conceive you never never leave me here or anywhere alone.
Sometime you seem nearly silent until you roar back in the hymns I can hear if I but listen for you in the voices of strangers, enemies and friends.
You seem invisible until I open my eyes to you there in the creases frowns and smiles of every person I pass.
You are a symphony and its composer I can encounter if I pay the coin of my attention in the small moments of my day.
This day I hope I can wake up to the holy all around in every sight in every sound in the silences tucked away in between.