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AIA Oct 9
Do you still love me? I asked him.
"Yes."
Are you still happy with me?
"I'm not sure."
he answered.
I did not ask him the reason why *** I don't wanna get hurt more.
Dedicated to Jayvee Vallejos.
The nights are long and dark
my tears are cold as snow
my heart's being torn apart
my soul has ceased to flow

Her words like sharpened knives
her eyes like candle flames
her smile as always hides
and brings forth thousand pains

Suffering endlessly I am
screaming at God for my mistakes
praying for change at last to come
as I am healing all of my aches

I never took us seriously
I thought of love as being a game
it all was gone so beautifully
oh baby its such a shame

This is the only thing I ask
I want your heart to just be whole
don't worry bout me I 'm in the past
I will no longer burn your soul.
Nicole Sep 27
Tired of me

And this agony

Of feeling so alone

And so free
aennij Sep 23
There are lots that makes me smile,
like dogs and cats or other stuff.
Having it as a list, surely, it'll  be in pile,
some I smile only because I have to, some I smile then laugh.

Like good arts and music,
great literary pieces that I enjoy,
or for all one knows, maybe an interesting topic,
who knows, anything can be a joy.

Like when you force yourself to be happy,
it could be goodbyes that should end plain.
Perhaps, pretending to show gaiety or felicity,
that's when we smile in struggle and pain.

Smiles are diverse.
We smile in satisfaction and glee.
We smile in affliction and agony.
Sometimes, its caused by the best feeling, every so often, by the worst.
September will be waist-deep in restoration.
The rain today was evidence of that.
Thunder for the deaf ears.
Lightening to whip the rigid spines.
Eventually it will break the water's surface.
It will separate souls from the atoms it inhabits.
Pick up the rock, watch the ants scatter
The other half of the bible has been found.
I've seen it, there are no questions left.
Love is coming.
To the influence, I give permission.
Though this heart is nothing more than a fist of lifeless gray matter,
a rhythm of agony continues to barrel through the pathways in my body.
Atoms and assumptions packed into a sack of brown fabric,
I lie awake into the late hours, hoping that we've been praying for the same paradise.
Freezing water on my skin is unobserved while a warm breeze flows through my steady state of detached focus

Comfortable illusions embraced by the tribe, you look to me and see something of a demon, to be feared, yet respected

I stand tall as any man might, my gaze contains an eternal essence, an angel in this creature

A vessel of blood and bones, feels the emotion of an abandoned infant, the alienation of a wolf betrayed by its pack

Continued to climb with broken arms, walked with a shattered heart, intercepting the silence with bitter expressions of being

Once blindness had become so much better than seeing, watching brothers bend beauty to fit a God forsaken form

I look now upon your beaten face without pity, painfully acknowledging the choices you have made

The sounds of war replaced the quiet calmness of the child I used to be

Weeping without recognition, you scoffed at this agony

Now night after night I contemplate our complacency,
wondering when the rivers of blood may awaken the hearts sacred sense of urgency

A soul of the whole world. I watch the floods and flames engulf the stillness that once was, the peace that was taken for granted, now falling down, and heaven cries it's last goodbye
Meher Sep 5
There are a lot of things I regret.
The most I regret is
Wishing that he was dead.
Rather than living
To hurt me
Crushing my heart.
I never wanted
Anything bad
even for my worst enemies.
But he drove me to the point
Where I wished for his death.

I wonder
Who is actually
The monster here.
May contain grammatical errors as English is not my first language
you kissed me until all of the pain evaporated
until the echoes of my past fell to a hush
quietly, suddenly the agony dissipated
like there was no room for it here
you repossessed the places my past called home
you called them yours and I called you mine
Katarina Aug 25
You spoke in nothing but riddles and metaphors and rhymes
And yet all the poetry in the world could not describe your beauty
The way you held every little thread of wonder, every gasp of pain, every drop of melted wax on unadulterated skin in the eyes that reflected the goddess in all three of her forms, and every god she bewitched
And the eyelashes that fluttered like the lilac butterflies
We liked to talk about so much

And it still kills me inside knowing that you are so close and yet I might never get to feel your lips on the back of my neck again
Or the way you grasped me just underneath my ribs and made my spine arch, just for you, or the way you grabbed my throat and pulled me close to you, without ever touching more
Because that would be breaking rules
The rules that I was too scared to break, even with your lips turning blue from the cold, your skin broken and your throat raw from the thin white lines dripping over and over

You used to place your hands on my belly, and trace little love hearts, just below my navel
And in each love heart plant a little kiss
And leave me staring, mesmerised
Your lips would brush so gently on the soft baby hair on my skin, until it stood up on end, as if in anticipation
And you’d smile and promise me,
“One day”

And now you hold another woman’s child and show him to build fires, like the ones you kept me warm with

I can’t look at the crystals anymore without thinking of their reflection in your irises as we unwrapped yet another ounce, and she spilled into our hands, purple and pink and orange shards
That we used to laugh about
Philathylamine connections to bring the coins spilled into our hands
For our future, you said
Pure love, or was it but a chemical love story?
When they all started to trip and turn to monsters
And you stayed pure
Mandy showed me ecstasy, and you embodied that, untouchable
Ecstasy and agony, do they always simply co-exist, or are they merely the same?

Twisted

“Sober as a Judge”
Finally I had the courage to put that summer into words. Growth is beautiful, I thank you for showing me the butterflies and jesters. The universe giggled
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