Madam X 23h

I know you won't understand how I came forth with this conclusion
Thinking I was happy was no more than an illusion
Just once I thought you would go and ask
But you never did, so my pain wouldn't pass.
even if someone showed they cared
My mind wouldn't change.
Just uselessly shared.
Not once have I been understood.
Not my family or even my doctors are good.
One day sadness rose to an ineffable height.
I saw no escape, nor did I see light.
Oh how nefarious people seemed to be.
Just endlessly firing words as if on a killing spree.
My life is a book, though I tend not to read.
It's filled with sweet sorrows, not flowers but weeds.
For My decrepit heart could beat no more
And my tears shall finally rest, instead of pour.

This was to be my suicide note, before I changed my mind.
Wellspring Nov 14

Drip Drip
I tilt my aching head back
Drip Drip
I close my weary eyes
Drip Drip
I feel tension drift from my body
Drip Drip
I can finally relax
D
r
i
p

D
r
i
p

d
r
i
p

d
r
i
p

d
r
i
.
.
.

Silence
It­ stops
Silence
The tension floods back into my body
Silence
My tired eyes open, searching for relief.
Silence
My throbbing head straightens with difficulty
S
i
l
e
n
c
e
.
.
.

Where did my beloved rain go?

It is raining and I love it! Summer sucks in Australia, I just want it to go away.
Kate Gilleo Nov 8

She is addicted to him.
He is addicted, too.

She sees herself as his herione, his nurse.
He sees her as gauze, wrapped over a needle mark
As she begs and weeps, "stop!"
She keeps him safe between shots
But she cannot keep him from shooting.

She stays by his side, as he delves deeper and deeper
Both into the darkness and into the flesh.
She offers him solace.
He takes it, then leaves her cold and broken.

He continues dying.
She continues crying.

Is it human nature to be cruel to one another?
All evidence points to this being so.
I never asked for a thank you or even respect.

You are neither family or someone I love but
I admired very much.

I only asked that you, do your best.
Was it some test,
to repay kindness with heartlessness?

Or in your eyes,
Is kindness weakness,
only to be used and tossed out like trash?

I would have instead died if I knew what you would do.
Why didn't you just say goodbye?

Instead, you tortured me and brought back,
the most horrible memory,
from my past that made my heart burst.

You are neither family or someone I love but
I still admire very much.

Goodbye.

Copyright © 2017 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

Val roxas Oct 30

Hungry
Angry
Envy
Agony
Everyone disagree
Allegedly;
Anatomy
Of an alchemy
My lullaby's full of mystery
My mysterious apostrophe.
Agony
Envy
Angry
I'm hungry.

Inspiration grips my soul
And gives my mind no peace;
I try and try to let it go,
But silence baffles me.

Sometimes in the darkest night
It's dreams that haunt my eyes
And sometimes, inspiration's height
Looks about agony's size.

Ideas sometimes look like pain
And memories that hurt me;
And beautiful though my song may be,
Perhaps its roots concern me.

But art, it lies within the choice
To make a lie show truth
And find the love inside the voice
Of your heartrending youth.

Don't build your statues with ashes:
Compress them into stone,
And watch as sorrow clashes
With love that builds a home.

Darkness is no shelter,
But is an invitation
For light to burn the better
As fire: my inspiration.

Pliny the Elder said: "The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach."

I knew I had truly given up
when I didn't even bother to hurt myself
'cause I knew no blade could cut as deep
as the dull blade of monotony
and another day without you

The only thing I seem to be able to do by myself is fuck things up.

autumn lies waiting, its leaves in a fit of fury.
the bitter breeze is hungry for home,
while i lost mine quite a while ago.

cold to the touch, i'll never forgive myself. you've already forgiven.
Mister J Oct 3

Some things should be left in the past..
Some things should be lived in the present..
Some things should be reaped in the future..

And so I leave yesterday with all the agony I've felt..
I'll live today with all the hope and courage I could muster..
And I hope to reap tomorrow the love and attention I seek..

Dear God, hear me please.

2AM Thoughts..
Alienpoet Oct 1

I feel a completeness in staring into your eyes
That I don't feel when I am alone
I grasp for meaning in a daydreaming world
My mind opens like an oyster
and you are my pearl
a beautiful agony unfurls
in missing you and your words
and touch.
I miss you so much
but I want wholeness
in my own skin
but it rings thin
because is it narcissism?
To look beyond the chasm
the void of our own soul
and yet romantic love is being in love
with what someone is that we haven't got
and yet we don't care a jot
for love is creation I care deeply and a lot
for what you have and what I haven't got.

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